Sometimes I sits and thinks

In lieu of any cohesive train of thought complete with paragraphs and proper sentence structure, I give you this list of things you most likely would be able to live the rest of your life without knowing.

1. I’m more than a little bit in love with this raincoat in the green giant daisy print from Boden.

If I could have some guarantee that it was going to be a rainy winter, I’d buy it right this very instant. But since I do not have the ability to see into the meteorological future, I will continue to debate and question whether or not I should pull the trigger and buy it. And every time it rains I will curse my inability to make a decision and wish I had this cute raincoat in my closet.

At least I know myself.

2. My iPhone has been trying to repair my Words With Friends app for the last three hours. I don’t know why I care one way or the other because I am truly horrible at the game. It is a soul-sucking vacuum that has convinced me that I don’t have a clear grasp of the English language or the ability to come up with any word that’s worth more than 8 points.

3. Caroline and her cousin, Sarah, spent the night at Mimi and Bops’ house last night. I took Caroline to rent a Redbox movie before I dropped her off and we chose a seemingly harmless film called Golden Buddies or something similarly stupid that alludes to a film about golden retrievers.

She called me an hour later to ask me to bring some other movies over because the one we rented was “inappropriate”. Since when are golden retriever puppies inappropriate?

It all made sense when I dropped off the new movies and my dad showed me that what Redbox actually gave me was an R-rated movie called Youth Revolt . What the heck, Redbox?

4. The new season of Rachel Zoe starts on August 3. I die.

Especially because I will be hosting a slumber party for a group of Caroline’s friends that night and won’t be able to watch it until the next day. Unless I want to send a bunch of little girls home to their parents saying things like “That sleepover was BANANAS”.

5. Speaking of T.V., what kind of sad world do we live in when I have over 300 channels and my best two viewing options at this moment are Footloose or Toddlers and Tiaras?

6. And one more thing about T.V.

While I still adore Coach and Tammy Taylor and believe that Friday Night Lights is about as good as television gets, this season has depressed me to no end. I need someone to find some happiness somewhere.

Right now it’s sadder than that season of Good Times when the Evans family thought they were finally moving out of the ghetto and then they found out that James had died and Florida dropped that bowl of salad.

7. Texas Monthly magazine announced the winner of their Where I’m From short film contest. The winner was the film entitled Beaumont Stinks. It will probably mean nothing to most of you, but if you have ties to Beaumont it will make you so happy.

8. I have a new favorite way to cook broccoli that makes it taste more like something I actually want to eat as opposed to something I force myself to eat to prevent scurvy. You can find the recipe here. It’s delicious.

9. I had new throw pillows made for my living room. The fabric had been sitting in my guest room for the better part of nine months, so I figured it was time.

Now I just need to replace the picture over the fireplace with some sort of black and white print. I’m envisioning something that represents Texas, but I can’t quite figure out what I want.

10. I still haven’t done anything about my kitchen windows or hung anything on the wall. I’m very indecisive when it comes to my home decor these days.

So I choose to do nothing.

Except stare at my walls and continue to worry if the turquoise is too bright.

11. If you have any thoughts or input on any of these things, it would be greatly appreciated.

The list didn’t include Valium

We went shopping for school supplies yesterday.

I’ll just let that sink in for a minute.

In less than one month, Caroline will start second grade. Of course I can’t really think about it for too long because SECOND GRADE. How did that happen? I’m just trying to console myself with my personal theory that third grade is really the gateway grade to official BIG KID status and that second grade is just a filler grade that the school system threw in because no one wants to teach a bunch of seven-year-olds how to write in cursive and use a protractor.

Let me have my denial.

When I registered Caroline for Kindergarten, they handed me a form that allowed me to pre-order her school supplies courtesy of the PTO. I’m never one to play the martyr, so I filled out the form, wrote a check and when she showed up on the first day of school there was a shrink-wrapped package in her cubby containing all her school supplies. It was brilliant.

So when the same form came home at the end of Kindergarten, I checked the box that read HOOK A MOTHER UP and sent in my check. And just like Kindergarten, the supplies appeared as if by magic on Caroline’s desk the first day of school. Perfect.

Until the second week of school when Caroline came home upset because her teacher had passed out notebooks to be used as poetry journals and she received a plain red one. She didn’t understand why some of the girls got notebooks featuring furry kittens and baby seals while she only got a plain red notebook. And you need to know that she said “PLAIN RED NOTEBOOK” in the same voice she uses in the morning when she lovingly says, “YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE THE CIRCUS”.

Her teacher explained that the plain red notebook was the one in her school supplies and that the other girls had brought the notebooks with dolphins and puppies. To which Caroline replied, “NO WAY DID MY MAMA PICK OUT A PLAIN RED NOTEBOOK”.

And she’s right. I would have never picked out a plain red notebook.

But the PTO would. Because all they care about it the bottom financial line and they aren’t really interested in wide-ruled notebooks featuring three kittens huddled together with a ball of yarn.

So we went to the store and picked out a pretty notebook for her to use as her poetry journal. And then she made me sign in blood that I would never order school supplies from the PTO again because she wanted to pick them out herself.

Which is how I ended up in the back of Target yesterday trying to figure out what the heck the list means by a Mead marble composition 100-count notebook with red baseline while Caroline danced around me holding a Trapper Keeper featuring a baby penguin and begging me to buy it.

“It’s not on the list”

“Well, it should be. That list is too strict. Why is second grade so strict?”

“Second grade isn’t strict. It’s not that you can’t have it, but let’s just focus on getting the things you need first.”

“Okay…but what if I get this one with the horses and can I pick out a new backpack and I need a new thermos because my old one is Disney Princess and I’m over Disney Princess and what I really want is a thermos that looks like Gabi’s and I love this notebook with the hearts and what I really want is this pack of glitter pencils with erasers shaped like stars.”

Well, what I really want is a nerve pill.

We can’t always get what we want.

By the time we left Target I semi-regretted not ordering our school supplies from the PTO, but just knowing that Caroline will have a notebook depicting a baby seal makes it all worth it.

Actually, that’s not true.

But it makes me feel better to pretend that it does.


On Sunday afternoon we met my sister and her family over at Mimi and Bops’ house to do a little swimming and Caroline held her cousin, Luke, for a long time after he woke up from his nap.

I may be a little biased, but this is almost too much cute for one picture.

I think they like each other a lot.

Although Luke really needs to learn how to relax a little bit.