All weekend long the local meteorologists predicted that we were going to get rain on Sunday night and Monday morning. And I was FIRED UP about the rain because I do love a good thunderstorm. I made big plans to spend most of the day on Monday cleaning out Caroline’s closet while I listened to the rain and stayed warm and dry inside.
But the rain never happened.
Because we are in the middle of a drought. And as P likes to remind me on an almost daily basis, we essentially live on the edge of a desert. Not to be confused with living on the edge of a dessert like I originally typed. Truth be told, I think it would be nice to live on the edge of a dessert, preferably something chocolate and served with a side of ice cream.
However, it did get cold. The temperature dropped about twenty or so degrees late Sunday afternoon.
(I hope you are enthralled by this weather report for a city that the majority of you don’t live in. I know this kind of useful information is why you stop by here every day.)
(Also, am I the only one who thinks it’s a little sad that I made big plans to clean out a closet? And maybe even put it on my calendar?)
So I proceeded with my plan to clean out Caroline’s closet. Mainly because it was about to be overrun by an army of half-naked Barbies, a My Little Pony sleeping bag and about sixty-two different backpacks and suitcases. Not to mention that her winter clothes and summer clothes were still mingling together which has caused a lot of “WHY CAN’T I WEAR MY BLUE SWEATER PONCHO EVEN THOUGH IT’S 101 DEGREES OUTSIDE?” And then that leads me straight into the “I AM GOING TO PUT UP ALL THESE CLOTHES AND YOU CAN JUST CHOOSE FROM THREE SHIRTS AND TWO PAIRS OF SHORTS”.
I started with her bookshelves because she has outgrown many of her books in the last year. I saved the ones that have sentimental value, but felt like we could live with Dinosaur Danger and Princesses are Pretty and definitely Ernie Uses the Potty. Especially because I’ve always felt Ernie Uses the Potty is weird because how have he and Bert lived together all these years if Ernie has had struggles with basic toilet training?
After I had a pile of books to give away, I moved on to the stuffed animals. Over the years I’ve learned that the best strategy is to eliminate six or seven of them at a time. I’ve tried to be more ambitious than that, but always end up getting busted. It’s like a prison break, if too many men try to go at once you’re bound to get caught. Not that I’ve ever been a part of a prison break, but I have seen Shawshank Redemption at least nine times.
So I used a poster to cover the hole in the wall that I used to help the stuffed animals escape.
Actually I loaded them into a large trash bag and then sorted through Caroline’s clothes. I put the winter clothes up on a shelf WAY out of sight and then did an inventory of her summer clothes. From the looks of things, her Old Navy and Gap t-shirts spent all winter huddling in the bottom drawer for warmth, got carried away and procreated all winter long. I don’t understand where all the t-shirts have come from.
Finally, I had several bags of things to give away or donate or throw out. And since this isn’t my first clean out rodeo, I immediately carried all the bags out to the stay wag and drove around town dropping them off at their various destinations. You’d think I’d be embarrassed to go out in public wearing my rattiest pair of yoga pants, a Frankie Say Relax t-shirt and an old gray warm-up jacket. And I was. But I did it anyway.
When I picked up Caroline from school, I mentioned that I’d cleaned out her closet and, OH HERE’S A NOVEL IDEA, why don’t we try to keep it clean and hang up the forty-six different shirts you try on and then discard every morning? She surveyed her closet, complimented my handiwork and was none the wiser that Big White Bear has gone on to a better place. If a better place is the local Goodwill store.
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching Black Beauty on T.V. and then asked P to build us a fire because the temps had plummeted to 56 degrees. And with a windchill of at least 52.
Let the record show that we had a fire in our fireplace on May 2, 2011.
And that Caroline even felt the need to put on a stocking cap to ward of the chill.
Let the record also show that we are all native Texans.