Pool towel bingo

The air-conditioning is working again.

I repeat, the air-conditioning is working.

The guy showed up around noon yesterday to install the new motor. He also checked out our other unit to make sure it wasn’t circling the drain and said everything looked good. Then, on the way out the door, he said, “Just make sure you call us this winter before you turn on your heat. Your unit is over seven years old and that’s around the time it can crack and cause carbon monoxide to leak throughout your home and you’ll go to bed one night and never wake up.”

Wow. I was not expecting that.

Needless to say, all my neurotic tendencies kicked in and I turned to November 1st in my planner and penciled in, “Call to get heat checked so we don’t all die”. You have to admit he knew his audience.

Anyway, I’m feeling much better today and not just because it no longer feels like I’m sitting on the equator. Gulley knew I needed a little time to myself (mainly because I might have called her crying yesterday and said, “I just need a few hours to myself.”) and offered to pick up Caroline from soccer camp and let her play with Jackson and Will for a little while.

I felt so bad saying I needed a little time to myself but ever since summer began Caroline has been in love with me. She wants to be everywhere I am and there is no such thing as personal space. And while I am so thankful and love her more than life itself, we’ve been inseparable for the better part of a month and the introvert who lives inside me just needed a little time to breathe. (Yes, I am a little bit of an introvert. I just play an extrovert on the internet.)

Later on in the afternoon, I met Gulley and the kids at the pool. We swam and watched the kids jump off the diving board and caught up on important current events like General McChrystal’s resignation, the earthquake in Canada, why the local sportscasters only talk about the Spurs and not the College World Series, and which bachelor we think Ali should choose. (Chris L. is the frontrunner with Roberto at a distant second.)

After we were worn out from swimming, we ate dinner at the pool and while we were finishing up we heard Coach announce that it was time for “almost moonlight bingo”. Listen, we had no idea that it was bingo night at the pool. It was just a gift from God.

Will was beside himself and immediately yelled “YAHOO BINGO!!” and hit Gulley up for a dollar so he could play. He had his game face on and repeated everything Coach said with great enthusiasm. “I-64!!! G-7!!! N-22!!!”

Then P got up to go refill his water and Coach saw him walk up and started calling his name over the loudspeaker, “P! COME AND GET YOUR BINGO CARD, P! TIME FOR P TO PLAY A LITTLE BINGO!”

Caroline thought it was the most hysterical thing she’d ever experienced.

When Jackson and Caroline saw how much Will was enjoying his game of Bingo they decided to play as well.

Although they lacked a little of his passion for the game. Ultimately they got up and wandered back off to the pool to swim a little bit more. Then Will decided to follow them.

So there Gulley and I sat, just the two of us, playing our Bingo cards. She looked at me and said, “I guess this is a glimpse of our future at the retirement community.”

And then we laughed until we cried.

It was a good day.

Crazy from the heat

Our air conditioner motor did not show up yesterday because apparently it wasn’t actually in Austin but may have been in Bryan or perhaps the repairman is just taking a hiatus and doesn’t want to work this week. All I know is that I am sick and tired of our living room and kitchen feeling like the equivalent of living on the sun. It’s making me very irritable. So I spent most of yesterday in a bad mood that I’m going to blame on a dangerous cocktail of no air-conditioning and hormones. Ladies, your late thirties do not play around. Honestly, after I snapped at no less than three people by 9:30 a.m., I felt like I should quarantine myself. Preferably at a day spa where they serve wine all day.

Instead, I dropped Caroline off at soccer camp by 9:00 a.m. and then headed back home to spend a little bit of time catching up on my correspondence. In other words, I read blogs and Twitter and Facebook updates. In that time I discovered that Jake and Vienna have broken up which makes me so sad because what is the world coming to when fake publicity stunt relationships don’t last forever? It’s like all those helicopter rides and bungee-jumping dates don’t prepare people for the daily struggles involved when two people try to share their lives.

After I felt like I’d gotten a good grasp of current events, I drove over to Everything But Water to look at swimsuits. And there really isn’t anything else to say about that but BLARGH. The salesgirl sweetly asked me if I’d found anything as I walked toward the door empty handed and I explained they really didn’t have anything that would work for me. She insisted, “But we have so much cute stuff!” Yes, if I were seventeen years old and a size 00, they had some darling things. As soon as I step into some alternate universe that turns back the hands of time, I’ll go back and try again.

Sufficiently deflated and foul from the swimsuit experience, I journeyed to Target to pick up a few things. I bought a ten pack of paper towels, some Triscuits, dental floss, self-tanner, and five cans of antiperspirant for P because I know his love language is bulk purchases.

(I don’t know why I just shared what I bought at Target. It’s a new low.)

I picked up Caroline from soccer camp and we came home to eat lunch and huddle in the bedroom in search of cold air. Finally, around two o’ clock it was time for us to head to the theater to see Toy Story 3.

Yes, I cried. I’m not made of stone.

(Also, see mention of hormonal issues in the first paragraph.)

After the movie was over, Caroline tried to convince me that we should go to the pool and eat dinner. I said no because I still haven’t recovered from the mediocre nachos I ate there the day before and also because I just wanted to get home and get us settled in for the evening. This decision did not help me win friends and influence people, especially my daughter who declared, “BUT MAMA, IT’S TEN TIMES WORSER AT HOME WITHOUT ANY AIR-CONDITIONER”.

Which actually isn’t correct because it’s at least SEVENTY TIMES WORSER.

Last night I made chalupas in honor of the new kitchen color and also because the only thing I happened to have on hand were some corn tortillas, beans and cheese. For dessert I made homemade vanilla ice cream using the vanilla extract I bought in the Dominican Republic two and a half years ago, which makes everything extra delicious. I’m sad to report that I have approximately one teaspoon left in the bottle and then I’ll have to say goodbye to extra tasty baked goods until the next time I can visit the Dominican or bribe someone to bring me back a bottle.

The bottom line is we sat in the un-airconditioned living room last night and ate chalupas with a side of guacamole. Between the heat and the food and the bright turquoise kitchen it was just like being in Mexico. All we were missing was someone trying to sell us Chiclets while a mariachi band played and a burro walked through the kitchen for no apparent reason other than lax health code standards.

Boring and boring with a side of nothing

Here’s a quick list because I am tired and I’m hot. Also, if I tried to write about what we did yesterday it would read like this:

“We went to the pool. We ate some nachos while we were there. They weren’t very good. Then we came home, complained about how hot the house is without air-conditioning and went to bed. The end.”

Trust me, it’s better this way. Not much better, mind you, but better.

1. Does anyone else think that someone in charge of production of The Bachelorette this season went to Big Lots and found a bunch of big fur Elmer Fudd hats on sale?

2. Also, is it just me or is anyone else hoping they never hear the phrase “protect and guard your heart” ever again?

3. Lastly, did anyone else experience the need to bless Casey’s heart and then intermittently hide your face behind a pillow while whispering “No, no, no. Please, no.”

And then, dude, she left him on a glacier. That’s just cold, ABC, in every sense of the word.

4. If our air-conditioning repairman doesn’t show up with the motor later today, I’m driving to Austin myself to get it. And I’ll blast the air on high the whole way there. I can’t remember what it feels like to be cold.

5. Thank you for making me feel more secure about the new color in the kitchen. Now I can focus on obsessing over how to accessorize it.

6. My friend Julie bought me the new Courtyard Hounds CD and I love it.

7. There’s one last chance to win a $50 gift card from BlogHer over on my Tropicana Juicy Rewards page. Just click over here.

8. I think we might go see Toy Story 3 later today. I’m prepared that I might cry because I am a big old sap and Sunrise, Sunset and all that stuff. I have a feeling I should clean out the playroom one more time before we go because, otherwise, I might lose the ability to get rid of all those Barbies that have been played with approximately zero times.

Caroline has never been much of a Barbie girl. It’s hard for me to understand considering that I played with Barbies until about junior high and only gave them up for fear of being mocked.

8. If I could find one more great swimsuit for the summer I’d be so thankful, but I don’t know that I have the strength to endure the whole ordeal.

Speaking of strength, I’m going to wrap this off. I think we’ve all been bored enough.