Fashion Friday: Edition I can’t quit thinking about turquoise

I really can’t thank you enough for answering so many of my questions yesterday. Sometimes a girl just needs some input on important things like hair color and underwire.

You’ll be glad to know (That’s probably overstating it. Chances are good you’re not really going to care one way or the other.) that I’ve decided to get the jeans hemmed to wear with flats and flip-flops. It seems like the right choice given the time of year and the fact that I have a few other pairs of jeans that I can wear with heels. Plus they were only $30.

(For those of you who asked, I found them at a boutique that was going out of business and bought the last pair in my size. Trust me, I tried with all my might to be a different size in order to acquire more bargain-priced jeans but my efforts proved fruitless. And kind of painful.)

I also downloaded a few new apps for my phone and have reconciled that I might have to sacrifice some wrinkle prevention in favor of some color on my face this summer.

The turkey is still in the back yard.

Mocking me.

Anyway, it was a little hard to come up with material for today’s Fashion Friday because I am in the midst of a full-blown obsession. FULL-BLOWN.

About a week ago, I decided that I might want to paint my kitchen a kicky shade of turquoise. I can’t really explain why, but it just feels right in my soul. I waited a few days to mention it to anyone because I thought the feeling might pass. However, my obsession only grew and I found myself googling “turquoise rooms” and looking at paint chips. Then, last night, I mentioned it to Sophie and she told me I had her full support for Project Turquoise.

And then I mentioned it to P and he asked if I was going to hang some neon beer signs in the kitchen, convert one of the windows to a drive-through, and start serving bean and cheese tacos.

He is hilarious.

My thought is that it’s just paint. If I hate it then I can paint over it and laugh about that one time I was dumb enough to think I wanted a turquoise kitchen. I’ll keep you posted on the matter. And if you happen to know a great shade of turquoise paint that says “Tasteful and trendy” as opposed to “Bean and Cheese Tacos only 99 Cents”, please let me know.

I’m envisioning something along these lines.

Okay, other than turquoise paint chips, here are a few great things I’ve seen this week.

1. Flowing Tiers Tank

I know not everyone is a fan of the ruffled tank thing, but this one is so cute that you might change your mind. It’s thirty-one flavors of adorable.

2. Linen-blend Boyfriend Shirt

The website says that these shirts are $24.50, but they’re on sale in the stores for $12.00 and they come in a delightful array of colors, including turquoise. It’s the perfect shirt to wear alone or to layer over a tank top.

3. Big Buddha Bag

Sam Moon, the home of cheap jewelry, is now selling Big Buddha handbags. I’m a big fan of the Big Buddha bags and really love this one, but don’t know if I’m really meant to own a white bag. It feels a little bit like tempting fate to rain down cherry-colored Kool-Aid.

4. One Shoulder Side Ruffle Dress

I don’t have anywhere to wear this dress, but maybe you do.

5. Floral Appliqued Knit Tee

I also love this knit top with rosettes in the black or the yellow.

The only thing better than a comfortable t-shirt is a comfortable t-shirt with a little something extra.

6. Pewter Sandals

I realized the other day that I have a few outfits that could really benefit from a pair of cute shoes in the silver/pewter/metallic category. I have some silver flip-flops, but I wanted something with a heel. My chances of finding what I was looking for didn’t seem great because I figured most heeled shoes in the silver family would be dressier than what I wanted. But I was wrong.

Pewter/silver/metallic shoes are everywhere. It’s a shoe revolution and I almost missed it.

I love these wedge sandals

And these sandals are really pretty if I didn’t need something with a heel. They’d look great with summer dresses though.

7. Bamboo Shoes

Speaking of something that would look cute with summer dresses and really anything else, I love these flip-flops by Bamboo. Best of all, they’re only $20.00 and come in a wide variety of colors.

You’ll notice that I featured the turquoise.

Shocking.

Y’all have a great Friday.

I need answers

Here are a few questions running through my head right now:

Why did Casey James choose Power of Love out of every other number one song that’s ever existed?

What was up with all the trombones and assorted horned instruments for that matter?

Why did I have to take Calculus in college when I knew I’d never use it again?

How do you determine that your dog knows Calculus? And who has that much time on their hands?

Why did I think it was a good idea to put white tile in my guest bathroom?

How do I balance using a moisturizer with Retinol to fight wrinkles with my need to use self-tanner on my face to combat all the whiteness? Doesn’t the Retinol just exfoliate the self-tanner right off?

At what point should I quit pulling my gray hairs and go for the color treatment?

Should I get my new $30 Joe’s Jeans hemmed to wear with flats or keep them long to wear with heels?

Are there any iPhone apps that I need to have yet don’t know about?

Why can’t Jill and Bethenny just work it out?

Why don’t more swimsuit designers use underwire when so many of us clearly need it?

Is there anyone out there who really wants to wear a booty bra?

And, most importantly, why is there a fake turkey in my backyard?

Thank you in advance for any answers you can provide to these very important questions.

Closet confessions

I’m not sure what came over me, perhaps fear of the IRS, but on Monday morning I finally got all our tax stuff together, laid hands on it and prayed for mercy, then sent it all to our accountant so he can call us in a few weeks and let us know how many weeks we’re going to have to eat hot dogs without buns (or if it’s really bad, buns without hot dogs) to be able to write a check to the government. For obvious reasons, this will be more painful this year than ever before and not just because I’d rather spend the money on a new pair of shoes or granite countertops.

I have a tendency to obsessively clean and throw out clutter when I start to feel like things are out of my control, so I guess that’s why I came home from the post office and decided I couldn’t wait another minute before I cleaned out my closet and put up all my winter clothes. It has been the coldest winter I can remember and they are all officially dead to me. Except for my Timberland boots. They still have my heart. I just don’t want to wear them again for another six months.

So I began the process of switching out my winter clothes with my summer clothes. And, honestly, it was depressing because I wasn’t nearly as excited to see the majority of my summer clothes as I hoped I’d be. I had kind of hoped that maybe, against all odds, they’d spent the winter procreating at the top of my closet and making all manner of cute skirts, tops and a great pair of nude wedge heels. But no. It was the same sad assortment of clothes that I put up last October. No new skirts. No cute tops. A nary a pair of nude wedge heels to be found.

I’m trying to console myself with the fact that once summer actually gets here I won’t care about looking cute as much as trying to stay cool. Which means all I’ll really need is a swimsuit. Never mind. I just got more depressed.

And I’m also pretty sure I hear the voice of Jillian Michaels taunting me.

Whenever I clean out my closet I make a point of giving away anything I haven’t worn during whatever season just ended, so I made a pile of a few sweaters, faded turtlenecks that shouldn’t have made the cut last year, and a few unfortunate pairs of pants.

Like these.

Red corduroy pants. I don’t even know what to say.

But for every item that doesn’t make the closet cut, there are those that do and probably shouldn’t.

I wore that dress to my ten year high school reunion and many of you may remember that I attended my TWENTY year high school reunion this past summer. I know I’ll never wear it again, mainly because it’s a size 0. And, let’s be honest, that paisley isn’t helping matters.

But yet I can’t throw it out because I LOVED it when I bought it. From Harold’s. Eleven years ago.

There’s also this.

I bought this when Gulley and I went to New York back in 2002. I’d just been through a miserable summer after having a terrible miscarriage and decided that nothing would make me feel better than owning a long denim jacket with a big fake fur collar.

I blame the hormones and the sorrow.

I’ve worn it one time, but yet it remains because it reminds me of a time when I believed that wearing Chewbaca as a collar would make me feel better.

Oh, this zebra skirt.

I bought it to wear to my sister’s rehearsal dinner and I don’t know that I’ve ever liked a piece of clothing as much as I liked this skirt. My sister and her husband are about to celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary, the hem of that skirt is way too long and it has turquoise fringed beading. Yet it remains.

Maybe Caroline can wear it to a LATE 90’s theme party someday.

And then there’s my last black business suit.

It’s the last wardrobe evidence of my career in pharmaceutical sales. And if I had to actually put it on I’d probably break out in hives and start to hyperventilate.

Or I might begin to give you a lecture on the importance of a cholesterol medication raising your hdl while it simultaneously lowers you ldl. And then offer to bring you Chinese food if you’d just please prescribe my drug so I don’t get fired.

I tell myself that I can’t get rid of it because what if some super important business opportunity comes up and I need to look professional?

Because what looks more professional than a five year old black suit with a greasy Kung Pao chicken stain on the lapel?

Lastly, there is the Nicole Miller dress.

I paid way too much for it back in 2001, but it was worth it. Gulley and I call it the miracle dress because it sucks everything in and makes you look instantly thinner.

Sadly, I thought the miracle could work for me in September of 2003. I’d just had Caroline five weeks earlier and was invited to a friend’s ultra-fancy 40th birthday party. Somehow I Spanxed, girdled, and lacquered myself into that dress for the party. I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my life, but I thought I looked good. Bless my heart.

Photographic evidence would later reveal that I looked like a sausage stuffed into a beautifully embroidered Asian casing. I’m keeping the dress as a reminder that just because you can get something on doesn’t mean you should wear it out in public.

The good news is that my closet is officially clean and will remain that way for at least the next day and a half or until I can’t find my favorite pair of jeans.

Wow. I own a lot of white shirts.