Last night we were watching an episode of Dukes of Hazzard because that show has become Caroline’s new obsession ever since P and I introduced her to it about two weeks ago. We believe it’s important to instill culture in your children at an early age. And, truly, it has brought up some interesting talking points around our household such as why Bo and Luke always take their shirts off before they fight, why Bo wears his jeans so tight, and why Daisy, Bo, and Luke all are grown-ups but still live with their Uncle Jesse.
I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. Actually, I have my suspicions about the shirtless Duke boys and the tight jeans, but I don’t know why they all lived with Uncle Jesse. I just appreciate that Caroline is astute enough to wonder about things that never crossed my mind all those Friday nights that I wrapped myself up in my Raggedy Ann sleeping bag and watched the Dukes on a huge console T.V.
And here’s my question. Do y’all think Daisy always had on pantyhose with her shorts? After careful observation, I’m about 94% certain she did.
But that’s not really the point of any of this. The episode we watched last night involved a con-woman who duped Roscoe P. Coltrane into marrying her so that she and her co-conspirators could pull off a bank robbery or something. I’m not totally sure about that part because I was in the middle of turning a turkey into a hunter, which is another story entirely and I realize seems completely out of context here.
(Are you wondering if I’m so desperate for material that I’ve stooped to recaps of antiquated hillbilly T.V. shows? I promise this is going somewhere. Although I can’t guarantee this whole blog won’t plummet to that level at some point in the next year or so.)
Toward the end of the episode, Roscoe realizes he’s been duped by his bride and is heartbroken. And, I kid you not, I realized I had tears in my eyes. I genuinely felt sad for a fake sheriff in a fictional backwoods town.
There is only one good reason for this. Hormonal fluctuations.
I blame two things: my insurance company and whoever makes the generic version of Yaz birth control pills.
This whole thing started back in June when I went to pick up my prescription and the pharmacist informed me that there was now a generic version of Yaz and, HOORAY FOR ME, that’s what my insurance company pays for. Even though they technically don’t pay for anything until I meet a $500 deductible which never happens until it’s time for a new year to begin again.
So I took home my generic Yaz and felt like I could totally tell the difference after about three days. But I tried to mind over matter the whole thing because my pharm rep past has made me suspect that all generic drugs have the potential to be of the devil. It’s true. You can look it up on the internet if you don’t believe me.
Because all information found on the internet is 100% accurate.
Fast forward to about three weeks ago when I had my annual appointment with my OB/Gyn.
(I’m certain this is the point in this post when you wish I’d just stuck to a recap of The Dukes of Hazzard.)
He asked me how I was feeling and I rattled off a long list of complaints including feeling hot at random times, insomnia, and the occasional desire to rev the engine of my station wagon and peel out of the driveway in a fit of anger. But then I said, “You’re probably just going to tell me it’s because I’m about to be 40.”
And he replied, “No, I think it may be your pills. I’ve had several complaints about the generic version.”
At which point I did a few fist pumps in my mind because VINDICATION.
So he switched me to a new pill. I just started it a few days ago. And now you really know more than I ever intended for the internet to know.
But I forgot about the side effects, like hormone headaches and nausea and the desire to throw the remote control through the T.V. because you can’t stand to listen to one more hunter whisper loudly throughout an entire thirty-minute hunting program, that come with starting a new pill.
I just hope they don’t last too much longer because at some point we’re going to get to the episode where Boss Hogg thinks he’s dying and gives Uncle Jesse the deed to the Duke farm.
And that may be too much emotion for me to handle right now.
On a serious note, I want to say thank you to all the veterans for their brave service. I pray that none of us take our freedom for granted. It has come at a price.
“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” – Elmer Davis