A list using letters instead of numbers because I’m edgy

It is with deep sadness and regret that I inform you that there is a still a mouse on the loose. Apparently he prefers Simply Good trail mix instead of a piece of cheese with peanut butter on top. Probably because he’s concerned with his intake of high fructose corn syrup.

On the plus side, your comments yesterday were priceless. Maybe it’s some kind of sickness, but I loved knowing I am not alone in my struggle against unwanted wildlife. My particular favorite came from Melanie at This Ain’t New York who wrote, “Once a rat is picky about his toast, there is no living with them.” Don’t I know it, sister. Don’t I know it.

I’m also still trying to get over my cold (it’s not allergies) and fighting my disappointment over the whole Supreme Court thing. I really thought the fact that I graduated from Texas A&M while on academic probation would push me over the edge.

So instead of a comprehensive, cohesive post, I’m just going to share a few quick things so I can take my Sudafed and curl up in a very small place.

A. Dear Sun Chips, I appreciate that you are trying to be environmentally friendly. However, your new bags are so loud that my husband thinks I’m grinding coffee beans every time I reach for a Peppercorn Ranch chip. The obnoxiousness of your bag is hindering my enjoyment of the chip.

B. On Saturday one of the little girls on our soccer team told me that she ran so hard she was almost “self-conscious”. I totally understood what she was saying because I also suffer from feeling self-conscious when I run. However, she then went on to tell me she was so tired that she thought she might pass out and lose self-consciousness. That’s when I realized she was trying to tell me she might become unconscious.

I liked it better the first way.

C. My friend, Ross King, has a new CD out for kids called “Words That Rhyme With Orange”. Ross is such a great songwriter and I have fallen in love with the CD and so has Caroline. You can hear some clips from it on his website and you can click over here for a chance to win one for yourself. I’m giving away three copies.

D. I so appreciate that so many of you want me to try the neti pot, but it’s never going to happen. I bought one about a year ago and the whole process just freaked me out. It was worse than eating water chestnuts.

I prefer to get through my cold/sinus issues with a little method I like to call complaining loudly.

E. Is it wrong that I totally covet Casey James’ hair?

F. I packed Caroline’s lunch yesterday and she came home from school with her entire sandwich still intact. I asked her what happened and she said there was “a change of plans” and she bought a corn dog instead. So I explained that we can check the school menu every morning and decide before I slave over a ham sandwich if she’d rather buy her lunch.

She told me that wouldn’t work because she needs to smell the cafeteria food before she can make her final decision.

I’d like to be annoyed but she totally gets that from me.

And that’s all I have for today.

Goodbye and thank you.

It’s not allergies

Hello.

How was your Mother’s Day?

Mine was great. I decided to celebrate by coming down with a case of the plague and taking enough cold medicine to kill a horse. Or at least enough to help a horse breath comfortably through the night. Unfortunately all it did for me was to clear one half of my nose and cause my heart to feel like it was going to beat out my chest. And then I came crashing down from my Sudafed high around 1:00 p.m. yesterday and passed out for the bulk of the afternoon. Which was kind of like a vacation but with severe pain in my sinus cavity.

The best part of my Mother’s Day celebration was Friday. (Oh, sweet Friday, when I was still able to breathe like a normal human being and didn’t feel like aliens had invaded my skull) Caroline’s teacher arranged for the class to host a Mother’s Day tea party and it was about the sweetest thing I’ve ever attended. The kids escorted us into the classroom where we were treated to an array of handmade gifts, a photo slideshow, and a song. I seriously cried about three times before it was all over.

And you’ll be glad to know that Caroline didn’t wear her swimsuit coverup and instead chose a lovely pink sundress. I’ll spare you all the theatrics that went into the final decision, but will share that at one point she sighed and said, “I wish I had prettier clothes”. Which is kind of an ironic statement coming from someone who wants to wear cut off jean shorts every single day of the week in spite of a closet full of cute outfits. I don’t know that you have any credibility on what constitutes “cute” when your favorite t-shirt is from a dance camp you attended a year ago and says “GIRL POWER” on the front.

The Cheetah Girls had a soccer game on Saturday morning. We played the best game we’ve played all season and the girls managed to play hard the whole time even though they didn’t have any fruit for a halftime snack which almost led to a mutiny. If they worried as much about scoring goals as they do about eating three pieces of pineapple at halftime, we’d be undefeated.

By the time we got home on Saturday I was well on my way to getting sick. I knew I felt slightly feverish in the car on the way home, but was in denial because I didn’t want to be sick. The springtime cold just feels wrong. Colds are for the winter when you can curl up in bed and know you’re not missing anything. A cold in the springtime just feels like a fraud, especially because everyone wants to tell you it’s probably just allergies. IT’S NOT ALLERGIES.

On Saturday afternoon, Caroline was invited to go to the bat cave with some friends. And as much as I wish that meant she went to the home of Batman and Robin, it just means that she went to a cave outside of town where people go to watch millions of bats fly out at dusk. Apparently there are people who want to see this kind of thing and my daughter is one of them. I prefer to see bats more like NEVER.

So I was in my pajamas by 4:00 Saturday afternoon and my daughter was out on the town viewing bats and eating dinner until around 9:30. I’m not sure what has happened to my life.

I didn’t make it to church on Sunday because I felt terrible and Caroline decided she’d stay home and take care of me since it was Mother’s Day. She offered to bring me breakfast in bed, but she couldn’t get the box of cereal open so she asked me if I’d open the box and go ahead a fix her a bowl of cereal while I was in there. But she did create a little scavenger hunt for me to find the Mother’s Day card she made for me and it was really sweet.

Late Sunday afternoon I felt a little bit better so we ventured out to treat ourselves to a little ice cream.

And then I took some more Sudafed.

And that was our day.

Oh, except for this. After I put Caroline to bed, I came out into the living room and P was watching Black Hawk Down which he’s only seen about sixty-four other times. There is nothing he likes more than to point out actors and try to make me guess what other movies they’ve been in and at least half the time he doesn’t even know the answer. He just wants to drive me crazy until I cave and look it up online.

He’s asking me about all these different characters and I’m doing my best to figure out the answer and then he points out one guy and asks, “Who is he? He’s that guy that was really popular a few years ago.”

“I don’t know. They all have shaved heads and look alike to me.”

“No. You know who he is! All the high school girls thought he was cute.”

“I have no idea.”

“Yes you do. He played that elf in Gone with the Wind or whatever it was called.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about and saying ‘elf’ and ‘Gone with the Wind’ in the same sentence is blasphemy. Do you mean Lord of the Rings?”

“Yes. Lord of the Rings.”

The fact that I even knew where he was trying to go is a testament of what happens after almost thirteen years of marriage.

“It’s Orlando Bloom.”

“Yes. Orlando Bloom. Why was that so hard?”

I can’t imagine.

Fashion Friday: Edition the laziest one ever

I’m going to attempt to keep it brief because I am tired and Caroline’s class is hosting a Mother’s Day Tea and, based on the extensive wardrobe negotiations we engaged in earlier, I’d be willing to bet that it isn’t going to be a picnic to get her dressed and out the door. Mainly because she is insisting that she wants to wear a dress that I bought with intentions for it to serve as a swimsuit coverup.

This year I have really tried to grow as a person. I’ve slept on a sofa bed. I’ve handled raw poultry. I’ve traveled without my sound machine. (Not on purpose, but still) And I’ve let go of my dreams and ambitions to dress Caroline in matching outfits. It is every child’s right to dress like a hobo throughout elementary school and who am I to deprive her of that experience? How else will she be able to go back and look at old pictures and say, “MOM. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU LET ME WEAR THAT! WAS THAT A SWIMSUIT COVERUP?”

And I’ll reply, “Yes. Yes it was.”

But you insisted it was the prettiest dress you owned and I was exhausted.

1. Crinkle tiered cotton top

I’m not sure why this is pictured like it can be worn as a dress.

Clearly it’s supposed to be a top.

Right?

I hope I’m right because, if not, I’m afraid.

If it’s a top, it’s cute. If it’s a dress, it’s absurd.

2. Canvas bag

I got my Boden catalog in the mail this week and fell in love with this bag.

3. Bamboo floral sandals

I love Bamboo shoes because they are inexpensive and so, so cute.

4. Airy eyelet skirt

This skirt is a perfect piece for summer and it’s way on sale right now.

5. Dakota falls top

This top would be great to throw on with jeans or shorts.

6. Boyfriend denim shorts

I have a love hate relationship with shorts. Yes, there is a time and a place when only shorts will do. But I often feel like that time was my twenties.

However, I am a fan of the boyfriend shorts. I just like the casual look and the fact that they can be paired with so many different things.

And, yes. You could always just cut off a pair of jeans you already own and get this same look for free. Even better.

7. Crinkle cotton skirt

Just some more goodness from the Boden catalog.

8. Long perfect tanks

I love the tank tops from Old Navy because they come in a million different colors, they’re inexpensive, and they are long.

And you can add a little extra with a scarf like this floral scarf.

I realize that just last year I mocked the scarf with a tank top look. But that’s what happens. I mock and then I love.

9. Turquoise beaded bracelet

And it also comes in apple green, coral and nude. I just think it looks like summer.

10. White watch

For some inexplicable reason I have developed a crush on white watches. I don’t really understand it and I won’t attempt to explain it because there isn’t enough time. (Time. Ha.)

I adore this Michael Kors version of the white watch.

But it’s more than a little pricey. Especially considering that I don’t even normally wear watches because they stress me out.

Then I found a Sam Moon version of the white watch for $8.95.

There’s really no guarantee that it will work for more than a day, but I just want the look. The ability to actually tell time with it is completely unnecessary. That’s what my cell phone is for.

Y’all have a great Friday.

For more fashion you can visit Jo-Lynne. She’s talking about sheath dresses today.

Also, Clear Eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.

I’m living for 7:00 tonight.