Yesterday morning I woke up and cooked a semi-nutritious breakfast for Caroline and her friends. After all, I have more pride than to let those girls go home and tell their mothers about their delicious breakfast of chocolate Pop-tarts. So I scrambled eggs and cooked sausage just like I was Betty Draper. Except Betty Draper wouldn’t be caught dead in pink plaid pajama pants and an old gray t-shirt that reads “Texas A&M Football ’94”.
Which is really her loss.
And kind of reminds me that I haven’t mentioned the whole A&M to the SEC thing over the last few days. I guarantee it’s not because it hasn’t been on my mind. I spent the better part of my weekend doing extensive research about the whole thing and it just about put me in the bed on Sunday when the SEC came out and announced they were happy with their existing twelve teams.
But then I learned that may all be a part of what is known as FANCY legal maneuvering to avoid a lawsuit. Not to mention that A&M’s Board of Regents gave our president, Dr. “Bowtie” Loftin authority to make any necessary decisions regarding athletic conference realignment. Ultimately the whole thing still looks pretty good at this point. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from leaving comments about your brother’s friend’s uncle who knows “someone” in the legislature or the Big XII or lives next door to Dan Beebe who knows it will never happen. That kind of speculation is the kind of thing that will leave me in a tailspin for the rest of the day. It leads me down a path that is obsessive at best and unhealthy at worst.
Thank you.
Honestly, I wasn’t even going to bring any of that up. Because I have more important matters to discuss. I spent most of yesterday cleaning out my desk drawer, the playroom, Caroline’s bathroom and our laundry room. I still have miles to go but it was a start and it led to four full trash bags of things being hauled out of our house. Hallelujah and amen.
But it was in the midst of this clean out that I discovered something going on under my own roof that I was unaware of. I’m usually a big believer in not airing dirty laundry in a public forum, but I feel like we need some help.
Barbie was spotted naked planking in our bathroom.
At first I thought it was just a one time thing, but then I found her friend doing the same thing on the American Girl doll’s beauty shop chair.
Needless to say, I’m not sure the American Girl dolls are going to get over it. They were shocked and horrified. But one confided to me that she’d always suspected Barbie might be a bit fast. Especially since she got that Hot Tub Party Bus last Christmas along with those faux leather pants.
Nothing good ever comes of faux leather pants.
The last straw was late yesterday afternoon when I walked in to witness this spectacle.
Oh Barbie.
She has taken her friends down with her. Even the brunette. I’m all for getting on board a trend, but I think this has gone to far.
I feel like there needs to be some sort of intervention. We need to let her know that this kind of thing might fly in some playrooms, but not at our house.
Or it might just be time to send Barbie and her friends packing on their Hot Tub Party Bus.