Before I talk about the weekend, I would like to give a big thank you to P for understanding there was absolutely no way I could cook last night given that it was 111 degrees outside. The only reason anyone would want to heat up the oven under those circumstances would be if they just needed to stick their head in it to get a break from the real heat. Please join me in giving P a slow handclap like they do in the movies at really dramatic moments.
Caroline rode with me to pick up Mexican food from our favorite Mexican place. We’d gotten our food and were headed back home when we saw flashing police lights ahead and saw a car being pulled over. She whispered, “Just act casual, Mama. Just act casual.” It was as if we’d just held up a bank as opposed to picking up some chips and guacamole.
On Friday morning I woke Caroline up for school and she was a little groggy. I reminded her it was Friday and the beginning of the weekend. She replied, “OH NO! I’M SAD! I LOVE SCHOOL!” So we sent her out for DNA testing and should get the results back in 2-3 weeks.
In reality, I’m thrilled she is so pleased with school this year. It makes life easier for so many reasons. After school on Friday she and P left to go to the ranch and hunt pigs. Shockingly, I chose to stay home and drink wine with Gulley instead of stomping through a bunch of cactus in 110 degree heat.
When they arrived home around midnight, she was thrilled to report that she killed two pigs with one shot. That’s an impressive feat for anyone and pretty much solidified that P knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has the coolest daughter ever.
(I cropped the pigs out of this picture. Consider that an early Christmas gift.)
You know what I did on Friday nights when I was a third grader? I have no idea. But I guarantee it didn’t involve killing two pigs with one shot. Chances are good it involved trying out new braids on my Beauty Secrets Barbie.
We all slept in on Saturday morning and then went over to Gulley’s to watch The Pioneer Woman’s new cooking show on Food Network. Which led me to have an intense craving for chicken fried steak that won’t go away. And that’s a shame since I’m in a season of forgoing fatty foods due to my metabolism breaking up with me right before my 40th birthday.
Saturday night we had some friends come over that we hadn’t seen in forever. Mainly because they had triplets two years ago and we were afraid it might be contagious. Oh I kid. Life just gets busy and we were always going in two different directions. But it was so good to catch up on life and they even brought over one of the best chocolate cakes I’ve ever eaten. EVER.
AND they left it with us because they said they’re both on a diet. So we each ate one more piece yesterday and then threw it in the trash, THE OUTSIDE TRASH, lest we be tempted to dig it back out later on. Don’t judge. It happens.
Sunday morning we went to church where I almost passed out from heat exhaustion after standing outside trying to sign women up for fall Bible study. When we finally walked through the door I announced I wouldn’t be leaving the air-conditioning for the rest of the day even though Caroline was begging me to take her to Forever 21 because some girl in her class bought an owl necklace there that has a clock built into the owl’s stomach. FANCY.
But since I am a mean mom prone to heat exhaustion and crowd-driven panic attacks, I told her the necklace would have to wait for another day. So we settled in and had a movie marathon. One of us may have dozed off for thirty minutes or two hours.
Which was just as well because I was told I wasn’t allowed to sing along to The Little Mermaid. And how am I supposed to avoid that temptation unless I’m asleep?
So that was our weekend. Next time I’ll make something up if I can’t come up with anything better than this.
You’re welcome.