You say po-ta-to, I say no po-tah-to

I hate to say what I’m about to say. There are some things that are almost too embarrassing to say out loud.

I have never had mashed potatoes with a Thanksgiving meal. Until yesterday I honestly thought I was in the majority of Thanksgiving diners. But 90+ comments later, wherein the majority of y’all professed an undying love of the Thanksgiving potato, have opened my eyes to the cruel reality that is my life.

I have been deprived of an additional carb at the Thanksgiving table. I feel like I’m on an episode of Maury Povich and can hear the studio audience audibly gasping as my darkest family secrets are revealed.

But let me state for the record, P’s family never served mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving either. Which leads me to believe that God brought us together so that we can share our common grief over what were, obviously, deprived holidays. It’s a wonder we survived, what with just the turkey, dressing, cranberries, and green bean casserole.

The horror of it all.

Anyway, several of y’all asked for the recipes I mentioned, specifically the Broccoli-Rice Casserole and my mother-in-law’s dressing. I am more than happy to share those recipes with y’all along with my recipe for mashed potatoes.

Oh, that’s right. I’ve never had mashed potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner.

Obviously I’m trying to block that out.

Broccoli-Rice Casserole

1 medium onion chopped and sauteed in 1/2 stick of butter
2 packages of frozen, chopped broccoli
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup cooked rice
1 8oz jar of Cheez Whiz (personally I prefer the spicy Cheez Whiz)
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients and bake at 350 in a greased 9 X 13 baking dish for 1 hour.

Don’t let the sophistication of this recipe scare y’all off. I know just the thought of using a gourmet food like Cheez Whiz is a little intimidating, but it will be so worth it.

Unless of course you’re like my in-laws. I brought my beloved Broccoli-Rice Casserole to my mother-in-law’s Thanksgiving one year and everyone looked at it like I had just set a steaming cow poop on the dining room table.

What do they know? They don’t even have mashed potatoes with their Thanksgiving meal.

The dressing doesn’t have a formal name so I will just call it the BEST dressing ever.

Best Dressing Ever

2 recipes Corn Bread – day old and ground (corn bread recipe down below)
14 biscuits – day old and ground
2 tsp. Poultry Seasoning
2 tsp. Seasoned Salt
1 1/2 sticks butter
4 eggs
1/2 tsp. pepper
3 cups chopped celery (about 1 1/2 bunches)
1 1/2 cups chopped onions
3 cans chicken broth

In a large dutch oven, saute onions and celery in 1 1/2 sticks butter until tender. Add other ingredients and moisten with chicken broth (about 3 cans). Refrigerate overnight.

Reheat as turkey is roasting. Add pan drippings to moisten and season to taste with additional poultry seasoning, seasoned salt and pepper. Stir frequently, scraping the bottom of the pan.

Cornbread for Dressing

2 cups cornmeal
2 cups buttermilk
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
2 eggs
2 tbs. vegetable oil

Beat eggs. Add other ingredients. Melt 1/4 stick butter in a 7 x 11 Pyrex dish in preheating oven. Pour batter into hot pan. Bake at 450 for about 25 minutes.

Cut into large squares and put on a cookie sheet with the baked biscuits. Cover loosely with a clean dish towel and let sit out for a day before grinding.

And lastly, for the perfect accompaniment to the BEST dressing ever, make some homemade cranberry sauce. Eating cranberries straight from the can may be worse than not having mashed potatoes, if that’s possible. It’s just uncivilized and could be grounds for having your American citizenship revoked.

Cranberry Sauce

1 12 oz package of cranberries
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp. grated orange rind

Gently boil sugar and water for 5 minutes. Add cranberries and simmer uncovered without stirring for 5 minutes. Skim off some of the foam. Stir in orange rind. Pour into bowl and cool to room temperature. Refrigerate until served.

At some point in the next day or so, I’ll share the recipe for Chocolate Ice Box Pudding complete with a photo cooking tutorial. The above recipes don’t get a photo tutorial because I’m not making them.

I’ll be too busy whipping up some mashed potatoes and trying to erase our shameful family legacy while Caroline is still young enough to not be permanently scarred.