Please imagine the Olympic theme playing while you read this

Normally this is where I’d write a few paragraphs about what we did this weekend. However, I can sum it up in a sentence.

We watched the Olympics.

Thank you and good night.

Just kidding. When have I ever been that succinct?

But since I’m guessing none of you really care to hear about how I finally resorted to taking a Zyrtec on Thursday night and thus spent Friday in a near comatose state, I thought it might be fun (for me at least) to recap my favorite Olympic moments so far.

(On a kind of related note (but not really) it’s ironic to me that I spent years selling Zyrtec to doctors and claiming that it doesn’t cause sedation when it flat knocks me out for days. But I’m one of those people who will always deal with possible side effects no matter how small the actual percentage. I believe this is largely due to the fact that I always read the complete list of side effects and then my brain calls them into being.)

Anyway, here are my top ten Olympic moments so far:

1. Queen Elizabeth parachuting out of the helicopter with James Bond.

2. Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer continually pronouncing that the Queen was having a great time and had a wicked sense of humor while she remained stone-faced throughout the entire proceedings.

3. The part of the opening ceremonies where they re-enacted the Industrial Revolution.

(Not really because SNOOZE.)

4. Paul McCartney looking for all the world like the Dowager Countess of Grantham as he sang “Hey Jude”.

5. Ryan Lochte winning the 400 IM. It was a great moment and I wish NBC would quit focusing on what Phelps doesn’t do and what others have achieved.

Get a new story, NBC.

6. Watching Ryan Secrest’s hair get progressively higher with each interview. Maybe London weather is conducive to good hair?

It would certainly explain my girl Kate Middleton.

7. Gabby Douglas. I could put her in my pocket.

Seriously. I think she’d fit in my pocket.

But she is darling. And love that she said she meditates on scripture before she competes.

8. Any time they interview Bela Karolyi. I’m not kidding.

I don’t understand half of what he says and he frightens me, but he makes me want to be a better gymnast.

Which is impressive considering I can’t even do a cartwheel and my abs are possibly made of Pinot Grigio.

9. Staying up late with Caroline and listening to all her reactions on everything. Her little heart was broken for Jordan Wieber last night. And NBC didn’t help matters by interviewing Aly while Jordan cried in the background. Have some decency, people.

Caroline asked me to compose an angry tweet to express that the Olympics were dead to her at that moment. Mama’s little baby has embraced the power of social media.

They grow up so fast.

10. Lastly, I realize there were many athletes who accomplished amazing things, but this moment was really the highlight for me.

And made me glad that no one has ever videotaped my reactions during one of Caroline’s soccer games because crazy recognizes crazy.

What about y’all? Any favorite moments?