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You are here: Home / Other / Some pig

Some pig

January 14, 2014 ·

Before I even get started with the real story I have for you today, I have to ask a question. What is happening here?

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Honestly, I don’t hate it. And Julia Roberts is as beautiful as ever. She could wear a burlap sack and be stunning. So my question isn’t so much about style as it is about function.

How does she have that white button-down shirt under that fitted strapless dress without any unseemly bulges or bumps? I can’t even tuck a white button-down into a pair of jeans without all manner of issues and I’m just trying to understand. Did they cut the shirt off and is it all just an illusion? Inquiring minds (specifically mine) want to know.

I remember learning years ago that the secret to a sleek tucked in shirt is to tuck it into your underwear first. Which I guess is fine except for the wedgie potential and also the fact that people will most likely see your underwear before the day is over. I’m perplexed.

In other news that you aren’t going to believe, I think I may be living out my very own version of E.B. White’s Charlotte Web.

I know. It’s very exciting.

It all started early Saturday afternoon. Actually, it all began at Christmas when Gulley and the boys gave Caroline an ant farm. We went online a few days later to order our supply of ants because the alternative was to find our own out in the yard or something and, let me just say, yeah right.

The confirmation email let us know that our ants would arrive in approximately 2-3 weeks depending on the weather in our area because it can’t be too hot or too cold or the ants might die in transport because apparently being in transit with the U.S. Postal System is harsher than living out in nature. And so it makes sense that our ants arrived this past Saturday afternoon after all the Polar Vortex brouhaha.

However, I found myself on the horns of a dilemma because the package said the ants needed to be placed in their new home IMMEDIATELY and Caroline was at the ranch for the day with P and I knew they wouldn’t be home until much later that night. And so the sole burden of placing the ants fell squarely on my shoulders.

(I later learned I could have waited and IMMEDIATELY didn’t so much mean IMMEDIATELY as it did just sometime in the next 12 or so hours. But it’s too late now.)

I carefully read all the instructions to make sure I did everything the way it was supposed to be done to ensure our ants safe arrival in their new home. The first step was to poke three holes in the gel farm which I guess helps them get started in their new environment. The second step was to place the test tube full of ants into the refrigerator for fifteen minutes so they’d be lethargic when I dumped them in and thus not as likely to try to escape from Alcatraz.

And so I finished folding some laundry and straightening up the house while the ants chilled in the fridge. I mean that literally.

After fifteen or maybe thirty minutes (I lost track of time. Get off my back.) I opened the top of the ant farm and dumped all the ants into their new home with fear and trembling. And, well, the scene was exactly what you’d expect. Ants everywhere. Ants milling and crawling and trying desperately to find a way to escape their new enclosure filled with gel.

I spent the rest of the afternoon checking on the ants’ progress and I was afraid I’d basically killed a bunch of ants because they weren’t doing much of anything. Maybe they were stunned. Or maybe it’s because they’d been in the fridge longer than necessary. In all fairness if someone put me in a tube, mailed me, stuck me in an igloo and then dumped me out on a beach somewhere, I’d be a little shellshocked too. It might take me a day or two to find the will or courage to make a sandcastle or to quit rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

But by the time Caroline got home later that night, the ants had begun to dig some tunnels. They’d piled their dead ant friends (I know. They didn’t all make it. Tragic.) in a corner and were working furiously in some type of assembly line formation.

Sunday morning we awoke to find they must have worked all night in an effort to make their new place feel like home.

However, it was what I saw yesterday morning that stopped me in my tracks.

This is the part where it gets like Charlotte’s Web in case you’re wondering when this whole drawn out story about some ants is going to come together.

Because the ants have clearly sent me a message.

photo-5

LIE.

I know. What does it all mean?

Do they think I’m lying? Are they lying? Is their whole life a lie now that they’ve been subjected to a life of hard labor on an ant farm? Did the people at Uncle Milton and the U.S. Postal Service tell them they were going to a place with green pastures to roam around and cows to milk while wearing jaunty straw hats and perhaps a tiny pair of overalls?

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I settled in on the couch to go through my email and saw this.

photo

Do you see that? Do you see that it says SALUTATIONS? That’s exactly how Charlotte greeted Wilbur. It was her fancy way of saying hello.

What are the odds that on the same morning the ants wrote LIE that I’d get an email sending salutations? And it’s not a real email. It’s a spam email from an unknown address and, I can’t say for sure, but I think the ants sent it. How else do you explain it?

All I know is if I wake up tomorrow to find the word RADIANT spelled out in the ant farm, I’m either throwing them away or taking them to the county fair.

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Comments

  1. kelley

    January 14, 2014 at 12:24 am

    I’m really speechless. This does have a creepiness factor unlike anything else.

    • Jennifer

      January 16, 2014 at 5:21 pm

      I’m really speechless as well. Because I am laughing to hard to breathe. Thank you Melanie, thank you so much for sharing this extraordinary event!

  2. Kathleen G

    January 14, 2014 at 12:29 am

    Here I am, watching the news before I hit the hay and decided to check your blog. Ha! I thought the same thing about Julia’s gown too. Well I just got the creepy crawlies. Ants! Enough out here in the desert. Brave lady, I would’ve waited for the reinforcements with the ants. Thanks for the laughs, needed it more than the news. Kathleen in Az

    • AngAK

      January 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      oh Julia’s dress! my first thought was it was all super modest ala Michelle Duggar’s wedding dress episode. so odd.

  3. Audrey M.

    January 14, 2014 at 12:51 am

    Hysterical about the ants!
    I truly wondered the same thing about Julia Roberts, basically like this: “Wow! She’s rocking that demure look and…. How? Did she just solve the whole strapless conundrum? If so, good for her and all womankind!”

  4. Catherine

    January 14, 2014 at 1:01 am

    I’m wigging out a little about this. Charlotte’s Web is my number one favorite children’s novel and now I’m kind of against it. I’m creeped.

    Julia Roberts is gorgeous but I have to say that the dress looks, well, terrible. Like, drop the white button up and wear the strapless bit. Seriously?

  5. Christine Henry

    January 14, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Love Julia and her dress. I am pretty sure it was a shirt illusion and the only part of the “shirt” is just the part you see. But I am no Rachel Zoe, so who knows…

    LOL. the ants. .

    • Nikki H

      January 14, 2014 at 10:50 am

      Someone said on GMA this morning (I think it was GMA) that the dress was designed just for her, so I’m thinking you’re right. The fake shirt is attached to the strapless and is just an illusion.

      • Beverly

        January 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

        That’s so funny! I can’t wait to read your new book! Thanks for sharing!

  6. Melissa P

    January 14, 2014 at 1:10 am

    Just to “up” the creepy factor a bit….I just remembered that Julia Roberts was the voice of Charlotte in the movie “Charlotte’s Web.” The ants are definitely trying to tell you something….

    • Sue S

      January 14, 2014 at 6:26 am

      OK, it is so obvious, I have to say it since nobody else has. And isn’t it uncanny that Juia Roberts is such a RADIANT beauty??

      This THE funniest thing you have ever written! I was crying!!
      You absolutely delight me, Melanie!!

  7. Katherine

    January 14, 2014 at 1:40 am

    I am crying I’m laughing so hard. Funniest thing you have ever written. I can’t stop laughing.

  8. Trish in Oregon

    January 14, 2014 at 3:44 am

    Oh my word!! Too funny!!

  9. Cherie

    January 14, 2014 at 5:09 am

    Hilarious!

  10. Karen

    January 14, 2014 at 5:39 am

    Yeah, that ant farm would be LONG gone. That is too creepy!!

  11. Emily

    January 14, 2014 at 5:53 am

    My husband just walked in the room and asked if I was laughing or crying. I had to admit to both. Please keep us updated on further messages. That is hilarious and scary at the same time! Thanks for the laughs at 5:45 as I start my day!

  12. Nancy R.

    January 14, 2014 at 6:40 am

    This, dear, is why I read your blog!

  13. Jenn

    January 14, 2014 at 6:56 am

    Well, I was laughing really hard and thinking that I just had to find this ant farm for my boys until um, NO WAY. I’m all kinds of freaked out. The piling their dead friends in a corner is somehow sweet and disturbing beyond measure. Thanks for the post = can’t wait to see what they have to say tomorrow!

  14. Meggie

    January 14, 2014 at 7:00 am

    This is SO funny!! I LOVED reading about your Charlotte’s Web experience with the ants. You totally crack me up! Thanks for sharing your hilarious stories!!!

  15. Misty Burton

    January 14, 2014 at 7:08 am

    t double-e double-r double-r double-i double-f double-i double-ccc!

  16. fitzwoman

    January 14, 2014 at 7:24 am

    I never laughed so hard!! Btw-Charlotte’s Web is one of my all time favorite books-so I have a deep appreciation for this post!

  17. KL

    January 14, 2014 at 7:30 am

    The dress… I’m sure it’s an illusion. She would have to have some top secret stuff under that dress to pull off the perfect ‘white shirt tuck in’. It all has to be sewn together or something.

    The ants… I’m laughing about it but it’s that awkward laugh. You know the one. The laugh you do when you’re a little freaked out… Good luck with all that!! 🙂

  18. Paige Wright

    January 14, 2014 at 7:36 am

    thanks for that….I needed the laugh out loud thing this morning! hahaha

  19. Allison

    January 14, 2014 at 7:49 am

    This is the funniest post since the post about the lady and the dead cat at the vet!

  20. Missie

    January 14, 2014 at 7:57 am

    That ant farm doesn’t look a thing like the one I had as a youngster in the 70’s. Green gel? What happened to the little grains of sand-like pellets that used to be in them? It’s a new world we live in. Very, very funny post! Thank you!

    • Donna

      January 14, 2014 at 9:11 am

      I was wondering the same thing. That is one space age ant farm!

  21. Megan

    January 14, 2014 at 7:58 am

    Thank you SO MUCH for the very needed laugh this morning!
    Have a RADIENT day!

  22. Tamra Petersen

    January 14, 2014 at 8:19 am

    Exactly. Smiling big:) nicely done 🙂

  23. Tara G.

    January 14, 2014 at 8:25 am

    Hilarious!!

  24. sarah harper

    January 14, 2014 at 8:31 am

    So much goodness here. Funny, funny!

  25. Dawn

    January 14, 2014 at 8:43 am

    Both of my boys have had their ant farm experiences! I thought the ants were great! Definitely a conversation piece when they are placed on the mantle, instead of their rooms, because their dad wanted to watch them too! 🙂 One of my son’s even spent his own money to upgrade his farm and buy the LED light feature! Pretty cool indeed!

    • Dawn

      January 14, 2014 at 8:44 am

      *sons not son’s! I hate when I make grammatical errors like that in texts and emails! 🙁

  26. Laura

    January 14, 2014 at 8:50 am

    This made my week! I am going to be laughing all day! Thank you! Absolutely hilarious….

  27. Jill

    January 14, 2014 at 8:50 am

    I would not worry too much until they start spelling “REDRUM”

    • Susan B

      January 14, 2014 at 9:16 am

      Oh.My.Word.

    • Marilyn

      January 14, 2014 at 9:46 pm

      LOL for real!!!

  28. Andrea

    January 14, 2014 at 8:51 am

    Bwahahahahaha! I was enjoying your lighthearted post, scrolling down and reading, and when the picture came onto the screen my mouth dropped. And then the laughing…can’t stop!!! And all I can say for Julia Roberts is I’m thrilled she is aging beautifully and gracefully and hasn’t filled herself with Botox and all manner of plastic surgeries. And she looks better than the rest of those that do!

  29. Becky

    January 14, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Love that book and love your post! And wow!!!!

  30. Debra D.

    January 14, 2014 at 9:00 am

    I heard Julia’s dress was a “hybrid”. Now, I’m all for taking care of our one and only inhabitable planet (well, at least that we know of) and try really hard to be as green as I possibly can. But…I’m thinking not EVERYTHING needs to be recycled together.

  31. Belinda

    January 14, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Love, love, love Charlotte’s Web. Love, love, love this post. Salutations to you and yours!

  32. Stacey

    January 14, 2014 at 9:17 am

    I’m not sure about this whole ant thing…but even my 10 year old son – who could have cared less about the Golden Globes – stopped in his tracks to comment on how awkward that dress was!

  33. Marty

    January 14, 2014 at 9:17 am

    EEEK!!!

  34. Haley

    January 14, 2014 at 9:29 am

    This is hilarious!!! I’m going to be laughing all day and thinking “you sit on a throne of lies!” The ants know your secrets.

  35. Casey

    January 14, 2014 at 9:29 am

    So when they release the movie about how the ant farm took over your family home…should we tell them we saw it here first? I hope you properly thanked Gulley for the precious gift! lol

    ps. They just talked about Julia’s dress on GMA. Apparently. they designed it specifically for her. I loved her hair and make up, but wasn’t crazy about the dress. oh well!

  36. Katie

    January 14, 2014 at 9:32 am

    CRYING. Absolutely in tears at my desk. Those ants sure as heck were sending you a message! Also remember– Julia played the voice of Charlotte in the new “Charlotte’s Web.” It’s like this was all meant to just wrap up together in one of my favorite blog posts since “The Antelope of the Lord.”

  37. E.S. Ivy

    January 14, 2014 at 9:33 am

    That is great! Maybe it would be a good time to try reading tea leaves. You could find out all about your future. 🙂

  38. Katy

    January 14, 2014 at 9:33 am

    Ok, I just spit my coffee out on my computer, which is technically owned by the State of Texas, so I guess that’s ok. Love this post… BUT what about the fact that Julia Roberts was the voice of Charlotte in the 2006 remake of the film? Coincidence?

  39. Delaine Gabriel

    January 14, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Hahahahahaha…..you’re killin me!! 😉

  40. Christy

    January 14, 2014 at 9:41 am

    Good morning, and Howdy from Big D! Cue the Twilight Zone theme please for all of that! You are a greater woman than me, because an ant farm will ever be a possibility in this house ! EWWWW! And that dress on Julia, I mean, come on she can wear anything, but, it wasn’t her normal Shazaam, you know? Have a great day! 🙂

  41. meaghan

    January 14, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Hilarious! Please keep us posted on any other words from the ants!

    And all I could think of when looking at Julia’s dress is that she’s wearing a dickey! HA!

  42. Casey

    January 14, 2014 at 9:47 am

    So when they release the movie about how the ant farm took over your family home…should we tell them we saw it here first? I hope you properly thanked Gulley for the precious gift! lol

    ps. They just talked about Julia’s dress on GMA. Apparently. they designed it specifically for her. I loved her hair and make up, but wasn’t crazy about the dress. It seemed to 1992 for my taste.

    Happy Tuesday!

  43. wanda

    January 14, 2014 at 9:54 am

    Salutations, indeed!

    Wow, to the weird dress & the antsy obviously “educated” ants! You are in for a treat or so it appears.

  44. Tacy

    January 14, 2014 at 10:04 am

    This post is why its been my ritual for the last four years for me to wake up, get coffee, and read your blog. You make me laugh- especially today.
    Two quick thoughts: the green glow around the word “lie”makes it seem very ominous. I’m a little frightened for you guys.
    Also- Julia’s ensemble made me wonder if perhaps she was set to go out in the strapless number but then a fashion mishap occurred (like what, I’m not sure… a pimple on her back maybe?). So then maybe her stylist pulled this look together to save the day. That’s the story I wrote in my head at least.

  45. emma @ {from my little pink couch}

    January 14, 2014 at 10:05 am

    DYING! that. is. hilarious! The ants are conspiring …. be afraid!

  46. Kristin

    January 14, 2014 at 10:06 am

    This is the funniest post you have ever written! Hilarious!!

  47. Kayla

    January 14, 2014 at 10:12 am

    Oh my gosh. That was the funniest thing ever. When I scrolled down and saw that illuminated ant farm with the message, I about lost it. Thanks for the laugh. Great way to start a day. 🙂 Good luck with those ants…..

  48. Angela

    January 14, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Hilarious!!!! Such eery comparisons….!!! 🙂

  49. Melissa Edgington

    January 14, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Ha ha! I love it. Hey, it could be worse. At least they didn’t spell “DIE.”

    http://www.yourmomhasablog.com

    • Stacy

      January 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm

      I was just thinking… I hope the ants aren’t in the process of making the first letter into a D…

  50. Janet

    January 14, 2014 at 10:41 am

    That is creepy!!! I gave my son’s friend an ant farm his birthday several years ago and funny enough, I never followed up to see how all went. Maybe I didn’t want to know!!

    On another note, I saw an interview with Julia Roberts and she said the shirt was separate and not part of the dress. I don’t know how she kept it in and looking so well. I would have been a hot mess……..which is why I would never wear that!

  51. Lauren

    January 14, 2014 at 11:03 am

    This MADE. MY. DAY. I love every single thing about it. I cannot wait to find out what other miracles they perform in the coming weeks!

  52. Rachael B

    January 14, 2014 at 11:16 am

    L.M.B.O.!!!!!! My first thought was that they were trying to spell out ‘DIE” but didn’t get the D finished….! have fun! Make sure you thank Gulley! 😉

  53. Laura B

    January 14, 2014 at 11:50 am

    You have fulfilled my quote for three laugh out loud moments for the day. Thank you.

  54. Denny144

    January 14, 2014 at 11:58 am

    I have it on good authority (my fashionista daughter) that the dress Julia wore is called an “Oprah dress” because Ms. Winfrey frequently wears a shirt dress like that. Doesn’t make it attractive, though.

  55. Jen of My Tiny Oven

    January 14, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    You crack me up! I was laughing so hard reading this post. I loved Charlotte’s Web when I was a kid, I always wished something like this would happen to me! Keep us posted on any new messages. Love it!

  56. Julie

    January 14, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    1. I wasn’t a fan of the shirt/strapless dress duo. Maybe Julia has finally developed some back fat that she had to cover?

    2. I was reading your blog at work & started uncontrollably laughing at the “Charlotte’s Web” references. My co-workers now think I’m weird.

  57. Wendy C.

    January 14, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    OH. MY. WORD.

    Tears, I tell ya, tears. So funny!

  58. Pat

    January 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Hilarious and freaky!! Thanks for the laughs. Love your blog and the podcasts with BooMama.

  59. Jenny

    January 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    I. AM. DYING. That is so hilarious. Seriously, you cannot make this stuff up! I loved every word of this post. I think maybe you got a bad batch of rebel ants.

  60. Tina

    January 14, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    OH. MY. GOSH. I can’t stop laughing, I can’t even think of what to say except that I am laughing so hard, and I am at work. I am sure someone is wondering what the heck is going on with me right now!!!

  61. Annie

    January 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Too freakin funny….I am lmao…Charlotte lives! My favorite book! He he he……

  62. Brandy Shaw

    January 14, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    What kind of ant farm does Caroline have? I want to order for a friends son.

  63. Lisa

    January 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    I just hope there’s not a rat somewhere bringing them ideas for words to spell. (!)

    Maybe the “lie” is… that there’s LED lighting underground?

  64. Kristin S

    January 14, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    Ants. Whoa.

    Julia and the dress. I’m sure in one of the comments above someone else said this but I’m at work and don’t have time to read all those kind remarks. I saw in a fashion interview that the “shirt” was part of the dress. Not a shirt tucked in to a strapless dress. She wore it flawlessly! I loved it.

  65. Sara

    January 14, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    I am dying over here… Bahahaha best ant story ever!

  66. JennyJoT

    January 14, 2014 at 4:17 pm

    Love, love, LOVE Charlotte’s Web! Greetings and salutations to you as well. By the way, have you guys ever listened Charlotte’s Web read by E.B. White? If not, I urge you to get it IMMEDIATELY and sit down together to listen. My husband and I both love it… and we’re in our 50’s and don’t even have kids.
    Good luck with your ants. I’m kind of hoping they DO write radiANT!

  67. Melanie

    January 14, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Oh my goodness. I am smiling and laughing about this post….ant farm message compared to Charlotte’s Web..I have no words….glad the small animals do…

  68. Pam redden

    January 14, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Okay, this is the first time ever I have had to lay my ipad down due to crazy laughter! You deserve some kind of award for this one. I’m pretty jaded and feel like I’ve heard it all, but you just about made my stomach hurt over this!

  69. Julie

    January 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm

    Not sure you want to know this, but we did the same green-glowing ant farm with boy #2. After about 3 weeks, the ants starting eating on the plastic top. As in, let-us-out-of-here-to-live-with-you-without-green-gel-separating-us. Seriously, they were eating their way OUT. Needless to say, those ants did go OUT – out the DOOR!

  70. Melissa H

    January 14, 2014 at 6:06 pm

    I can’t believe I did this, and boy I hate to admit it, but when we got our ants I stuck them in the freezer. The result is just what you would imagine. I don’t know what I was thinking!

  71. Julie

    January 14, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    I am not sure I could sleep with those ants in the house. Put the thing on ebay and get it out of your house, girl!!

    Also, perhaps this fabulous invention did not make its way down south, but I do recall owning white button down shirt that was kind of a “body suit” — does anyone know what I am talking about? Normal shirt up top, sort of baby onesie cotton (complete with snaps!) down below? I am wondering if that is Julia’s secret. Weird.

  72. Julie

    January 14, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    My first reaction to Julia Roberts dress was….been there, saw that! As in, on tv before. Nothing new. I must have been trolling thru repeats of one of the Kardashian saga’s, and Kris K had on this EXACT SAME DESIGN dress, but in yellow. With the white tailered top part. It was a short dress, but exactly the same.

    I think it looks weird, maybe awful. So many other options out there, especially for the rich/famous and she wears this? yuck.

  73. Jeannette

    January 14, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    okay, I literally have Coca-cola up in my nose over this post. Love it.
    But I am wondering what do the ants eat? Or do you feed them? Do they try to get out? Do you have to “chill” them again, to open a portal to put food in the container? And what did they do with their dead? Bury them? Or eat them?
    The gift that keeps giving. Thanks Gulley!

  74. sissyintexas

    January 14, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    How on Earth will you ever repay Gulley and boys for this gift?

  75. Stefanni

    January 14, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    You are so funny. I love to laugh at the end of a long day, and you gave me that today! Thanks.

  76. Barb Downing

    January 14, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Maybe it is just me on the Julia dress….I think she was trying to be Meryl……just sayin’

  77. Nancy

    January 14, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    I, too, laughed until I cried about the ants and then the email. You do know Melanie that you have readers that are very bright….now I admit I did not read all 83 comments before I had to write one, so I do not know if anyone else admitted to this before me…..or at least one. ME!!! I almost clicked on that spam that was sent to you with Salutations!!! ROFL. I caught myself just in time….it is just a challenge NOT to click on that blue garble

  78. Colleen

    January 14, 2014 at 9:45 pm

    All the time reader, rare commenter here. I seriously almost had to run to the loo after reading this. You are HYSTERICAL!!!! I love your writing!

  79. Angie

    January 14, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    this could not make me more happy as we are reading charlotte’s web right now…i’m telling you, animals are a lot smarter than we give them credit for 🙂

  80. Chantel

    January 14, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    I rarely comment but am a faithful reader. I’m just getting home from work and when I got to the green “lie” I died. That is the funniest thing I have seen in ages and I’m still laughing.
    Ant farms and I do not get along. Many moons ago a friend had one and the ants decided they had enough and escaped while I was sleeping over. Still can’t stand ants or any type of insect with multiple legs. UGH!
    Hope you don’t wake tomorrow to find another message!

  81. Holly K.

    January 14, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    Love this post!! I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago and love it! Just have to say, creepy!! I don’t think those ants would have lasted another five minutes in my house. Although, I have to admit, I would be quite curious to see what they have to say next!

  82. Chelsea

    January 14, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    Hilarious.

  83. Lindsey

    January 14, 2014 at 11:08 pm

    Oh my gosh. I’m DYING. Hilarious!

    Also, for some reason, the whole Julia’s dress thing made me wonder if perhaps the white shirt/black dress combo is in fact a white dickey that somehow has long arms and is double sided taped to the black strapless dress? Either way, she looks fabulous. And if it is a dickey, we all know cousin Eddy would be REAL proud.

  84. anotherlisa

    January 14, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    ant farm pool –
    how many days until they start escaping?

    what will the next permutation of LIE be? DIE? BEE? LIPO?

    how many days until you have more dead than alive?
    * that was when we gifted ours to a friend with a boy scout

  85. Dawn

    January 14, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    I expect you can’t see this from your end so just have to share this. Your website currently features an ad for “Gene’s Johns Portable Toilet Rentals.” Just too funny.

    Totally creepy about the ants writing “Lie.”

  86. Susan

    January 15, 2014 at 12:45 am

    I love this post. I read it (& laughed out loud) earlier today, and I just came back to read it again. Still hilarious. Then I remembered the day you did the side bun video and saw the rat outside your window….Templeton!!!

  87. Amy

    January 15, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Hilarious!

  88. barbara

    January 15, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    burst out laughing at the “message”….so funny. I googled the JR dress…it’s Dolce and the top is sewn into the main part of the dress…it’s supposed to be an illusion whatever. keep us posted on the ants…if you see “some pig” or better yet “some mama” , I’d call the news and take that ant farm to the rodeo!!! btw….does Gulley run these gift ideas past you first???? 🙂

  89. Janee

    January 15, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    I am literally crying I am laughing so hard right now… And trying not to wake my husband. You’ve got quite an ant farm there!

  90. Kelly

    January 19, 2014 at 1:11 am

    Maybe they wete trying to make a ‘D’……This wins, I have nearly wheezed myself to death! Thank you for brightening myday!

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Who is Melanie?

Melanie ShankleMy name is Melanie and, in some strange twist of fate, I’m also known as Big Mama because I started this blog in July of 2006 when my daughter, Caroline, was not quite three years old and I was in the process of convincing her that BIG girls use the potty and BIG girls don’t have pacifiers, thus she thought BIG was the highest compliment in the land and began referring to me as BIG MAMA.Read More

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And just like that, her first year at Texas A&M is And just like that, her first year at Texas A&M is over. ⁣
⁣After we moved her out of the dorm last weekend, we looked around the empty dorm room and she said, “This has been the best year of my life”. And because moms know these things, I can attest to that. ⁣
⁣
I loved Texas A&M as a student, but I love it even more as an Aggie mom. What it has given my girl over the last year has been beyond anything I even prayed for. The way she has grown in her faith, the incredible friends she has made, the professors and advisors who have guided her, the experiences she’s had, the Aggies beating Alabama at Kyle Field…it’s all been Ephesians 3:20 in action…more than I could ask or imagine. ⁣
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When she left home at the end of last summer it felt like an ending, but what it has actually been is the most beautiful beginning to the future God has written for her. And it’s a reminder to me that the best prayer we can pray as a mom is, “God, this one is yours. You are the author of her story and I trust you to write an amazing one”. ⁣
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Thanks and Gig’em. 👍🏻❤️

(Photo by @doubllel)
In light of all our construction issues this week, In light of all our construction issues this week, I felt like it was time for a special edition of grown up story time because I remembered I actually wrote about the poor tile job in our shower years ago in Sparkly Green Earrings. ⁣
⁣
This is when it pays to have a written history to help myself  remember I shouldn’t have been surprised by anything that transpired this week.
A friend texted me this photo the other day. It wa A friend texted me this photo the other day. It was taken my last semester at Texas A&M and I’m with a group of friends at a Wes King concert at Wolf Pen Creek. (Shout out to those of you old enough to remember what a gift Wes King was to Christian music in the early 90s.) I had recently found my way back to God after a long hiatus and wasn’t entirely sure how I ended up at this concert with some new friends who wore Jesus t-shirts, but was so grateful to be there because I felt content and happy for the first time in years. ⁣
⁣
The point of this picture is that if you look on the left you will see a young Perry Shankle with glasses wearing a white t-shirt. And if you look on the far right you will see a young Melanie Marino with an aggressive side part. I don’t think we even spoke to each other at the concert that night. No one would have put us together because we were complete and total opposites. And I like to think God laughed knowing what was ahead. ⁣
⁣
A year later, we started dating. And three years from just about the day this photo was taken, we were engaged. And currently, we’ve been married almost 25 years and are cleaning out the attic together today which is the height of romance. What I’m saying is dream big, kids. You never know what is waiting right around the corner, right in front of you, that will change your life. ⁣
⁣
Side note: If you look closely you’ll see that my friend Jen and I are sitting on a blue striped comforter. Perry still sleeps with that exact comforter every single night so what I’m saying is that on that night back in 1994, he had no idea he was with his future wife and a blanket he would treasure, lo, all these years later. God is good. ⁣
⁣
Also, as for the attic clean out, he informed me last night that he did own two horses when we started dating. That’s why there is a saddle in our attic. I had no idea.
Big night out for Mom and Dad tonight. ⁣ ⁣ We Big night out for Mom and Dad tonight. ⁣
⁣
We went to the wedding of the daughter of some dear friends and it was at the same church and the same reception venue as ours was almost twenty-five years ago. ⁣
⁣
We agreed we barely remember anything about that day. It’s all a blur. But we agreed we like each other more now than we did all those years ago when we had no idea all that our life together would hold.  And that feels like a win because I was pretty crazy about him then. ⁣
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Congratulations to the new Mr. & Mrs. Glass! Loved celebrating with you. 💕
Here’s a confession: I hate waiting. I don’t l Here’s a confession: I hate waiting. I don’t like sitting in the unknown. I’m not sure any of us do. ⁣
⁣
The truth is waiting makes me feel anxious as I worry about timelines and what ifs and when I’ll have answers. And it dawned on me today that waiting is really the crux of Good Friday. ⁣
⁣
I think one of the most powerful moments in the Bible is when Jesus is on the cross and with a loud cry breathes his last breath. Mark 15:38-39 says, “The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”⁣
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Think about that. The sky has grown dark, the earth begins to shake and then as Jesus cries out with his last breath, we learn that what has been an impenetrable, thick curtain in the temple - there to separate us from the Holy of Holies - tears in two. It’s powerful enough that this centurion, a battle-tested leader in the Roman army, witnesses it and realizes Jesus is absolutely who He claimed to be. ⁣
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Jesus’ death and resurrection are the moments that changed eternity and gave hope when all was lost. The ultimate victory of good over evil. But there was also waiting. ⁣
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The centurion may have realized that Jesus was the son of God, but everyone had to wait to see what that meant. They didn’t know the stone would be rolled away. They didn’t know the crucifixion was just the beginning of a story of hope and redemption. All they knew on Friday was pain and loss and darkness. They had to wait for Sunday and they didn’t even know what they were waiting for…maybe just a small sign of hope. ⁣
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Don’t we do that? Question if He’s good or if He will come through for us? Wonder how things will work out when all seems lost? Is He who He says He is and what does that mean for our life?⁣
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Here’s what I know. Jesus is the wonder our heart is waiting for. He is our peace, redemption, and salvation. He breaks strongholds, takes away our fear and shame, redeems what has been broken and lost. He does more in our lives than we even know to ask for. We are never so broken that He can’t restore us. ⁣
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All that we wait for, all that we hope for…HE IS.
My first Aggie parents’ weekend as an Aggie pare My first Aggie parents’ weekend as an Aggie parent. Loved every minute with my girl. 👍🏻💕

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Jenny Isaminger@JennyDawnTX·

I got to interview one of my all time favorite authors on the podcast this week and when I listened to the finished episode I had a "I can't believe I got to do that!" moment. Thanks for joining us, @BigMama and thanks for getting my Mary Katherine Gallagher reference. 🙂 https://twitter.com/RealHoustonMoms/status/1522222777549443075

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TexAgs@TexAgs·

Hey… @d1baseball.

You up? https://twitter.com/TexAgs/status/1518348186275954688

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