On Thursday night we were going to bed and P remarked that our bedroom didn’t seem as cool as it usually does. And, yes, we had our air-conditioning on because the weather here is already to that point and we like our room really cold when sleep. We are the people who will crack our bedroom windows open when it’s 28 degrees outside and never have the heat on at night.
You know the Polar Bear Club where people go jump in freezing cold water as an activity? We are like that but with sleeping. Maybe we’ll make t-shirts. The Polar Bear Sleeping Club.
Anyway, we’d had some A/C repairmen come out in December to look at it and they told us then that it was on its last legs and would need to be replaced sooner rather than later. But we opted to wait it out because you know what’s more fun than spending money on a new air-conditioner? Basically, everything.
But we realized Thursday night that its lack of cooling properties was concerning and agreed we needed to call a repairman to come look at it. So I spent all Friday morning waiting on the repairman to show up and they looked at it and said our options included spending a lot of money to fix a really old unit or spending a lot of money to get a brand new one. We chose the second option and so the sales team came out to the house to give us the run down on all that is new in the air-conditioning world since the last time we bought one.
Here’s one big thing, the EPA is all in your air-conditioning business now. There are all manner of rules and regulations and terminology about energy-saving and the ozone, but P and I were only concerned with the bottom line which for us was which one would make our home feel most like an Igloo cooler.
And so we decided on the right unit for us and even went for the bonus clean air option which is supposed to help filter allergens and odors and help us live more like we’re John Travolta in that Boy in the Bubble movie. Plus, we’re finally pulling the trigger on some radiant barrier paint in the attic. If you’ve read The Antelope in the Living Room, you know that P has long dreamed of better insulating our attic from the heat and that day has arrived. According to the literature, our attic will never get over 85 degrees no matter how hot it gets outside. I may turn it into my home office up there, just me and the “squirrels” who occasionally infiltrate to chew on some stored Christmas decorations.
The best part was they agreed to come install it on Saturday because we had friends coming in from out of town on Sunday and didn’t want them to deal with our lack of proper air-conditioning. So they arrived at our house at 8 a.m. Saturday morning. P had already been up for hours but Caroline and I were still in bed. In fact, she had crawled into my bed with me.
All of a sudden I heard Piper and Mabel going crazy and I knew this didn’t bode well for the poor A/C installers in our backyard. P didn’t realize the men were just going to walk in our backyard in spite of being warned we had dogs and they clearly couldn’t have imagined that Piper and Mabel tend to view a kid riding his skateboard past our house as a viable threat so two large men entering our backyard unaccompanied was like their best dream come true. It was as if all those hours of patrolling the backyard in search of men with beards and hats had finally paid off.
P ran outside to get the dogs and bring them in, but there were people coming in our house as well. So the only real option at that point was to let them in the bedroom where Caroline and I were sleeping. And when I tell you it was like we were attacked by two Tasmanian devils, I’m downplaying the situation.
They came tearing in, ears flapping and covered in mud, and LEAPT into the bed. I’m pretty sure Piper landed on Caroline’s head. I can’t remember ever having a more jarring wake up call. They were all keyed up on the adrenaline of having just saved the family from the air-conditioning repairmen and began jumping down from the bed and jumping back up and rolling around while I tried to wake up enough to remember who I was and where I was and why I had a dog licking my face.
I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around me as I got out of bed and tried to get some control of the situation. By that point P realized they hadn’t just calmly walked back in the room and gotten in their doggy beds and so he’d come in to help. I noticed Piper chewing on something and realized she’d helped herself to a couple of the Halls cherry-flavored cough drops I keep by my bed, meanwhile Mabel had completely buried herself under the covers and Caroline was loudly proclaiming, “I JUST WANT TO GO BACK TO SLEEEEEEP!”
It was all very calm and peaceful. Just like a rainy Saturday morning is meant to be.
The good news is we are now the proud owners of a brand new air-conditioning system which falls solely in the category of adult purchases that are absolutely no fun but totally necessary. My thoughts are best summed up in this photo.
If you happen to be in my house some time, it’ll make me feel a little better about it if you maybe mention how nice and clean and cold it feels.
Kelly @ The OK Momma
That meme is me on SO MANY DAYS. Namely when we end up spending a small fortune at Sams on toilet paper and diapers. I can’t even look at the total anymore. I just blindly hand over all the dollars and remind myself that toilet paper is necessary in life and that it is not free.
Ann in Maryland
Hilarious story! I’m sorry you and Caroline had such a rude awakening, but just picturing a jacked up Piper and Mabel pouncing and rolling around in the bed with you two made me laugh (or as the kids would say, it made me lol!)
I know we’ve all had those days when we don’t want to adult. I hope your new a/c will help you feel much better!
Oh how I love you (in a non-creepy kind of way)!! I’ll take five of those t-shirts for our household as others cannot believe how cold we keep the house at night either! Polar Bear Sleeping Club unite! I also adore the stories about the dogs. I can so relate.
i heard that radiant barrier was really bad for the roof. It supposedly it bad for the shingles.ny sons first grade teacher told me that based on her insurance salesman hubby’s experience. Not sure if that is an urban legend but you may wanna check it out.
Last night we got 7 inches of spring snow here in MN after a week a spring temps in the 50 – 60s so hopefully it goes away quickly since it is Spring Break.
Same here, Spring Break just started I am in Chicago, the northwest burbs, 3-5 inch’s, off to hunt for the snow pants, gloves I just put away! Better days are coming!
I hear ya sister. I’m having the same joy with a new hot water heater.
Well. Thanks ever so much for the rainy Monday morning chuckle. I needed this today! Enjoy your c-c-c-COLD house!
Hard to believe, I’m sure, but my daughter said the exact same thing on Saturday when the HVAC men came to install her new furnace and heat pump- “Mom, I could have bought so many shoes with that money!!” As we live in the part of PA that’s cold right now (which I think might be the entire state, actually), a heat pump is as much a necessity as your AC is to you!
Thank you for a good Monday laugh- Tasmanian devil dogs!!!
Laura in Sacto
I am so glad I am not the only one doing these sorts of things…. I love a cold bedroom!!!
We really ought to have a real polar bear sleeping club!
I hear ya on the EPA or the Government or whoever being all up in our business. When our water heater went out last year, we had to replace it and spending the money on it was NOT FUN AT ALL. What WAS fun, tho, was seeing the big, giant NEW energy-efficient water heater that was being installed. Yippee! We, or at least, I, had visions of long, hot baths and long, hot showers. Not every time, but SOME times. But that would be all that it was: visions. Because even if you want to take a long shower or bath, and even if you have the money to pay for it, and even if you have a gigantic water heater that should provide enough heated water for you…there are invisible energy-saving people who decide that 2 minutes is long enough for a hot bath or shower…and it starts cooling down after that. I’m on the hunt for any “cheats” to circumvent this situation…wiggling wires, secret nobs, etc…anything that will give me enough hot water to fill up the dang tub.
Good luck with that….a friend whose husband is a plumber actually purchased a toilet out of the country and brought it back with him because it was not “energy efficient’ and would actually only have to be flushed once instead of the 2 times they had to flush with their energy efficient one. Other than heating water on your stove and hauling it to the bathroom…I can’t think of any work around. I specifically look for appliances and things that don’t say “energy efficient” because of this – I dread the day our hot water heater kicks it
“I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult”.
I don’t want to discourage anyone or sound pessimistic, but I’m 61 and still find it hard to “adult” sometimes! I look around for the real grown up to show up and handle things and am always surprised when the real grown up is me! 🙂
Melanie, you can stay with me next time you are in Houston. I keep my house so cold that it’s a given that I’ll hear “You could hang meat in here!” when my family comes to visit. I turned my A/C on last week. And I may or may not have the bedroom zone set on 68 tonight.
I had just finished reading Sophies’ book and then I read your blog today. Seriously, how I did not end up on the floor, from passing out from laughing so hard, I will never know.
When I read, “And when I tell you it was like we were attacked by two Tasmanian devils, I’m downplaying the situation. ” my co-worker thought he might have to start CPR. I turned a deep shade of purple, was pounding my fist on the desk and rocking in my chair. And I couldn’t answer him when he asked if I was okay. The loud wheezing sound I was making was just rattling him.
I finally finished reading your blog, jumped up told him everything was fine and left the building.
Before you spend money in the attic, I wanted to tell you about a new government program. They send contractors to your home. Check your home for drafty windows and doors. Give you energy effienct light bulbs. They check your insulation in the attic and all other sorts of things. Then they will come back in one year to make sure your house is still energy efficent. And all of this is for free!
I love the mental picture I get of you, Caroline and the dogs in the bed. We just found out-ONE year later, I might add-our rescued Lab was never spayed. Raises lots of interesting possibilities….