Striving for new levels of lazy

Yesterday I stayed in my pajamas until 1:45 p.m.

You might think I’d be embarrassed to admit that I had such a completely unproductive Monday, but you would be wrong.

Honestly, the only reason I changed out of my pajamas was because I didn’t want my friend who was bringing Caroline home from school to see that I was wearing the same thing I had on at 8:00 a.m. when she picked her up.

I’m all about the illusion of productivity.

And once I was dressed, I decided I might as well bathe the dogs while I was waiting on Caroline to get home because they had gotten to the point where they smelled like something that would cause a skunk to have olfactory envy.

Which reminds me of a story that P told me the other night about a friend’s dog who came home smelling beyond foul and they finally discovered he had rolled in a dead horse.

True story.

And I bet some of you are wishing I hadn’t told you about it, but it’s been in my head for weeks and I just had to get it out.

So you might be wondering what I did all day whilst in my pajamas.

And even if you’re not, you’re going to find out because here’s the thing, when you spend the majority of the day at home in your pajamas there isn’t much to blog about.

I got up with Caroline and made scrambled eggs, which she actually ate as opposed to just pushing them around on her plate. It was probably due to the fact that I bribed her with the promise of a Starburst if she ate them.

But it worked and I totally plan on using the same Jedi-mind trick tomorrow.

After she left, I had grand plans to take the dogs for a long walk but then discovered that my iPod was dead and clearly I can’t be expected to walk without any musical accompaniment. What am I going to do? Listen to nature?

So instead I answered some email, ate some Smart Start, and made a grocery list with every intention of going to HEB. But then P mentioned he’d grill hamburgers for dinner and we had everything we needed, so why would I go to the store for things we won’t need until tomorrow?

Procrastination is an entirely unappreciated art form.

Anyway, by 10:30 a.m. I was at a loss so I carefully weighed all my options and went with Option C, which was to catch up on all my recorded episodes of “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood”.

I’ve already admitted I spent the day in my pajamas, I might as well throw out that I have a fondness for Tori Spelling.

Don’t act like none of you cried as the students of West Bev High chanted “Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin graduates!”

By the way, Option A was to go to Target and Option B was to take a nap.

The next thing I knew I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. And thank goodness it did or I wouldn’t have been awake to change out of my pajamas before Caroline got home.

Which would have been more embarrassing than admitting that I watch “Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood”.

Or maybe not.

But today is a new day and I have big plans.

I may even get dressed before noon.