For Caroline’s birthday this year, Gulley and her boys gave her a subscription to Zoobooks.
And this is where I have to confess that Caroline was originally not very excited about the gift because it wasn’t comprised of hot pink plastic parts and fake blonde hair. (I’m referring to Barbie dolls, not a cast member of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.)
I tried to explain to her what it was, but the words “magazine subscription” don’t really mean that much to a five-year-old.
As opposed to the words “Polly Pockets Super-Fabulous Mall of Cheap Parts Made in China!”
However, Gulley knows my girl and what she likes. The Zoobooks have become a huge favorite around here and Caroline can’t wait to get a new one in the mail. Once a new issue arrives, it becomes part of our bedtime ritual to read all about that month’s featured animal every single night.
Our most recent issue was about bats. I’ll be honest, I’ve never really been a fan of the bat.
I blame it on the movie “Love At First Bite” and the fact that even as a child I knew that George Hamilton was unnaturally tan. Oh, and that I was always told that bats carry rabies, which is pretty much a deal-breaker for any animal. Just ask Ol’ Yeller.
Anyway, night after night, we’ve read all about bats and, frankly, I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know. For instance, did you know that the smallest bat in the world is the size of a bumblebee? It’s true. And yet incredibly freaky.
A few nights ago, Caroline and I had the following conversation.
“Mama, why are the bats extinct?”
“Well, they’re not extinct. They’re just endangered. That means they are dying and there aren’t a whole lot left.”
“Why are they dying?”
“Well, the book says it’s because they are getting this white fungus on their wings from caves and it’s making them sick.”
“Yeah. Or maybe they’re dying because people are stabbing them in the wings with scissors.”
Oh my.
“Well, no. It’s because of the fungus.”
“Or maybe it’s because people are stabbing them with forks.”
“No, I don’t think people are stabbing them with anything.”
“Well, I think it is.”
I can’t believe I’m raising a bat enthusiast with a penchant for conspiracy theories.