I wasn’t always the Mexican food connoisseur I am today.
In fact, much of my childhood was spent dining at Casa Elena Restaurant in Houston where my sister and I both grew to believe that we were speaking Spanish when we said, “HOT PLATE! HOT PLATE!”
Honestly, I don’t remember if the food was any good or not, but I do vividly remember that it was where I experienced chips and salsa for the first time.
Another childhood favorite was The Monterey House. The women in my family would order the “Summer Special” which consisted of a scoop of guacamole, a round queso chip, and a crispy beef taco. All I cared about was the candy made out of brown sugar that was always buried in the chip basket.
Then, when I was in high school, I discovered Casa Ole. To this day I will order the Dinner El Paso, which is two cheese enchiladas covered in queso and is truly a culinary disaster on a microwaved plate. However, old habits and addictions to processed cheese die hard.
As will my arteries.
College was filled with midnight trips to Taco Bell or Taco Cabana depending on how much money I had left in my checking account. It was during this time that I discovered two things:
1. Taco Bell hot sauce will take the tarnish off a penny
2. My daddy had automatic overdraft protection on my checking account
Who says college doesn’t equip you for the world?
After graduation I moved to San Antonio. Honestly, I wasn’t that excited about it, in spite of the fact that it is the home of the best Mexican food in Texas. There are seriously over 800 Mexican restaurants in this city.
Thanks to San Antonio, I discovered there is more to a breakfast taco than the folks at Whataburger would have you believe. The Taquito is just a cheap imitation that really only tastes good at 3:00 a.m. after two or eight beers. (That’s actually a third thing I learned in college.)
After I moved here, there was an unfortunate period of time where I was employed as a door salesman.
True story. I sold doors. And cried a lot.
And wondered why I decided to major in Speech Communications.
The only thing that kept me going during that dark career day was when one of the other salesmen introduced me to the Taco Feo (Ugly Taco) from El Milagrito. The Taco Feo is refried beans, beef fajita meat, and scrambled eggs wrapped in a homemade flour tortilla. Add a little spicy green chile sauce and your life will never be the same again.
Colors will be brighter. The air will be crisper. Angels will sing.
Sure, you’ll have horrendous heartburn but you won’t care.
In the fourteen years I’ve lived here, I’ve discovered what I believe to be the best crispy tacos (Teka Molina) and the best puffy tacos (Patty’s Taco House).
By the way, a puffy taco is like a crispy taco on steroids. Think big puffy shell filled meat, cheese and lettuce.
However, it’s only been in the last year that I made the discovery of my life. The Taco Norteno.
A Taco Norteno, which I believe translates to “Taco of the North” or perhaps “Yankee Taco”, consists of beef asada (thinly sliced beef), refried beans, shredded cabbage (this is crucial, no lettuce allowed), serrano peppers, Monterey Jack cheese, and a slice of avocado all wrapped in a lightly fried corn tortilla.
Let’s give a handclap of thanksgiving for the corn tortilla.
And the Monterey Jack cheese.
And the serrano peppers.
My tastebuds will never be the same.
In fact, I may never be able to eat another Dinner El Paso, which will cause my arteries to rise up and call me blessed.