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All I need is two (really just one) good wheels

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Well. First of all, my feelings about the Aggie basketball team beating the Kentucky Wildcats in overtime on Saturday night are best summed up in the actions of Super Bowl MVP, Von Miller.

And Caroline’s soccer team finished the weekend with a 2-0 win and a 0-0 tie, so it was good weekend for all the sports at our house.

But here’s what I really want to talk about.

Spin class.

Let me take you all the way back to last August. We were on our way home from the beach and I told P that I really needed to work out more and that I might be interested in trying a spin class. I even texted my friend, Laura, and said, “Hey, I think I want to go to spin class with you some time.” But then it never happened because my follow through is terrible and, basically, I don’t like exercise. I know it can give you a longer life and produces endorphins and blah, blah, blah, but all those episodes of Parenthood aren’t going to watch themselves and sometimes you have to choose your battles.

And then the fall got really hectic and I vowed that after the holidays were over, I was going to get on some sort of exercise routine. But because I am not a follower, I opted to not start in January with the rest of the world who had made New Year’s resolutions. Plus, I felt like I had to get some momentum going on my next book and my prime writing time happens to be mornings which coincides with the most convenient time to go exercise.

Finally, here’s what I know about myself. I am not going to work out twelve months a year. Judge me if you want but I’m just being honest about who I know myself to be and, after almost forty-five years of living, I am fairly self-aware. So I hate to waste my exercise energy on months like January and February when we can wear big sweaters and puffy coats and layers upon layers of clothing. January and February are prime Netflix months.

But apparently Mother Nature didn’t get that memo this year because this has been the warmest February I can ever remember. And last week it actually got hot enough in the afternoon that I put on a pair of shorts and then scared myself when I walked by the mirror because I thought I’d seen a ghost who’d been watching too much Netflix. (And also writing a book. Just in case my beloved editor is reading this.)

It made me realize I was going to have to reset my exercise calendar to accommodate the fact that winter is apparently not happening in South Texas this year. So I texted my friend, Debbi, because I knew she’d recently started going to spin classes at a new place called Cycle Hub that some friends of ours recently opened. Then she invited me to go with her for the next two weeks until I finally ran out of excuses and went through the seven stages of no winter grief and said yes.

Last Thursday evening I went to my first class. And you know that old saying about how you never forget to ride a bike? LIES. ALL LIES. Because even though it’s a stationery bike, I felt a little bit like this.

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Debbi had promised me the whole thing was a no pressure deal and you can ride at your own pace, but we had an instructor she’d never had before and at one point he walked to the back of the room where we were (Yes, I was at the back of the room. Hoping to achieve invisibility.) and he got in our face and said, “GO! GO! GO!”. Which made me feel like this.

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But I picked up speed and increased my resistance because I am just competitive enough to be a danger to myself and this was essentially the result.

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However, when the class was over I looked at my stats and realized I’d ridden almost fifteen miles and burned over 500 calories and, for those of you doing the wine math, that’s two glasses. Plus I had tons of energy and felt super accomplished and basically had levels of excitement that most people reserve for accomplishments way more complicated than riding a stationery bike in an air-conditioned room while music plays and a disco ball lights everything up.

And so I went back again on Sunday afternoon after we got home from soccer and only felt slightly like this.

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It helped significantly that the instructor played a combination of disco music and, be still my heart, Hopelessly Devoted by Olivia Newton-John. If you’ve never ridden a bike to a song off the Grease soundtrack, then you really haven’t lived. By the time class was over, this was me.

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Well. Until tomorrow morning when the soreness really sets in and this is me.

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Which never happens after watching Netflix.

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  1. I’ve never watched an hour slowly tick by like I did when I went to spin class!! You were brave to go back for another round!

  2. Melanie, this was pure gold! You talking about your exercise logic was hilarious enough, but those gifs (?) were perfect! Each one made me laugh!
    Thanks ever so much for starting my very busy week with laughter! It truly lifted my spirits!

  3. My exercise routine is riding my stationary bike while watching Netflix!! I have rode a long way watching Gilmore Girls and Parenthood!

  5. Dude. That Aggie game. We were eating at Jimmy Changa’s on Saturday night and that last goal got such a reaction from the whole ding-dong-dang restaurant that there were scared, crying children everywhere. I think they thought we were under attack.

  6. Oh my gosh I’m rolling!! Cycling is totally not for sissys and you go girl that you are still competitive enough to turn that sucker on up. I’m the one always cycling about 2 notches under the recommended resistance. It’s a great calorie burner though no doubt about that!

    Have a great week!
    Shelly
    http://queeninbetween.blogspot.com/

  7. I am impressed and a little jealous. The ice packs I wanted after the one and only spin class I tried were similar to the ones I required after birthing my 10lb. son.

  8. I’m thinkin’ Von and Tony REALLY enjoyed being back in Aggieland!! Did you see the pic of Von dancing behind the dancers?!! He’s good, maybe he has a new off season job…I’d go to the games to watch him dance!!! (Only b/c they only dance when our amazing Aggies are taking a time out!) DONT forget our Baseball team…we watched all three games and are blown away at their skills this year!!! Those bubbles….?S…makes for a great season!
    I started this new week off with a new smoothie…complete with Protein shake, strawberries, blueberries and banana…now to go for a walk! I’m thinking I may need to add a little weights too! I may be a little delusional…

  9. Oh my word I haven’t laughed that hard out loud in a while! So good! Thank you for your honesty! I did not want to get up and exercise this morning but my butt isn’t gonna get any smaller on its own no matter how many Sir Mix Aloters I surround myself by.

  10. Oh, Melanie. This is the first time I’m not in 100% agreement with you. I have NEVER enjoyed riding a bike – stationary or moving. I did ONE spin class a couple of years ago and vowed I would NEVER do it again. Hated. It. I work out and that is one workout that is not for me. Like you, I know myself. I will applaud you in your new found workout regimen though. Go, Go, Go!

  12. Well, I’m a Kentucky Wildcat fan and if I had been watching the game (which I wasn’t, because I was at Rupp Arena rocking out to Matthew West and Crowder at Winter Jam) my reaction to the game would not have been the same of yours. I almost can’t believe that it happened because just prior to that win, Amazing Grace was echoing off the rafters at the Mecca of college basketball and surely that should have got our wildcats some brownie points…
    but this post. I love it. It sums up everything about my exercise experience. Thank you for a much needed smile on this Monday!

  13. The first time I did a spin class I thought I was never going to walk again. Keep at it and you will love the results.!!

  15. I feel like the perfect tie-in is the fact that you should watch the Netflix series, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Not only is the whole thing terribly funny, they have an entire episode in which she starts going to spin classes and finds out that it’s actually a cult. That sounds much darker than it actually is. It’s very funny.

  16. I finished the final episode of Parenthood just this afternoon (nnnooooo!!!), and now I can get on with my life.

  17. Ok. You and your uplifting images have inspired me. I’m finally going to do it. I’m getting Netflix.

  18. I have never taken a spin class and have no plans to add it to my non exercise plans at present…lol…I know I need to get exercise in but I think it will be walking and not spinning. At least for now. Funny post though!

    • Totally agree! I walk year round in Colorado, outside for four to five months and inside on the treadmill for the rest of the year, plus I climb stairs — great for the legs and “rear view”! I will never do a spin class but I applaude anyone’s exercise efforts. Go, go go!

  21. Hilarious!!! Girl you picked quite a way to pick up the exercise regime. Spin is tough! That being said I love love love it. By the way I tried Barre for the first time last week partially inspired by how much you said you enjoyed it but man I did not. I think our instructor wasn’t fantastic though. All I can say is if I see another squat again it’s going to take a lot more than a barre to get me back up and a lot more wine than two glasses to get me to go back lol

  22. I laughed my way through this entire post. SO MUCH FUNNY!
    I went to spin class like 3 years ago with Shay, Erika, and our friend Jeni. I had never been before, and I’ve never been back. We got there like 5 minutes early and all hopped on bikes. And I swear to you, I’d been on the bike for 30 seconds when I turned and asked “Is it weird to already be sore?” Just the act of sitting on the bike was causing me pain. It took me DAYS to get over it physically. I feel like I’m still dealing with some of the emotional issues.

  23. I’m in the middle of season 5 of Parenthood and I’m way addicted to the mess we call the Bravermans. I’ve heard from many friends that series finale is gut wrenching. I’ve been angry at most of the Braverman clan at one point or another, but my love for them prevails in the end.

  24. I am a spin instructor, so I found this post so freakin hilarious!! I hope all my students feel the same way after my class. Keep going. I promise it becomes less torture 🙂

  25. Oh my goodness! I loved this post! I am laughing so hard about the spin class. That is totally me!! You rock it Big Mama!