Last week there was a meeting at Caroline’s school for parents who were interested in having their child tested for the Gifted Program. We’d received a notice about the meeting in Caroline’s school bag right before the holidays but I was way too busy to think about her academic future because SUGAR COOKIES! CANDY CANES! ELF ON A SHELF!
But as the night for the meeting approached, I knew I had to make a decision about whether or not to attend. I mean, obviously P and I think she’s gifted. We knew she was gifted when she could pass gas like a man at only six months old, not to mention the fact that she can spot a deer in the brush at 150 yards.
However, those qualities may not be exactly what Harvard is looking for, although they might be exactly what she needs to get her own hunting show on the Outdoor Channel.
I thought about emailing her teacher to see if she thought we should have her tested. I figured she sees her in the classroom on a daily basis and probably has a better idea of what they are looking for to determine if a child is gifted. The problem is that I really like Caroline’s teacher and didn’t want to send her this potentially awkward email.
Dear Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher,
You know that our precious baby girl Caroline is the light of our lives. We think she is the smartest, most well-adjusted child on the planet. She is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and we have no doubt that she has a brilliant future as an Olympic athlete with a sideline career as the host of an incredibly successful reality television show or a nuclear physicist. In other words, she has the potential to live the American dream.
We’re sure you agree with us that there is no doubt she is gifted, but will you please let us know if you think she’s not.
Sincerely and Totally Unbiased,
P and Big Mama