After attending my twentieth high school reunion this weekend, I am headed to the store to stock up on some Sudoku puzzle books to help my cognitive function because I discovered I have a terrible memory. All I can say is I will be forever thankful for the name tags complete with senior year portraits that everyone was forced to wear because otherwise I would have had to ask an embarrassing amount of people who they were instead of glancing awkwardly at their stomachs where their name tags hung on a fancy lanyard made of yarn.
Of course I wasn’t necessarily grateful for my own personal name tag because it was a reminder that my hair didn’t even fit in the frame of the picture. Several people remarked on the size of my high school hair when they looked at it and I was quick to point out that I had plenty of time to roll my hair with three different sets of hot rollers because I spent no time at all plucking my eyebrows.
I had a great time and there were so many people that I enjoyed catching up with in person and not just through their photo albums and brief profiles on Facebook that let me know they enjoy watching “30 Rock” and vintage Richard Simmons exercise videos.
The nice thing about a twenty year reunion as opposed to the ten year version is that everyone is more relaxed. It didn’t feel like anyone had anything to prove or tried to play the “my life is better than yours” game. We were just glad to see each other and hear about the ups and downs of life because after twenty years we’ve all had our share of things that turned out like we thought, but probably more things that haven’t.
It’s not like twenty years ago I would have hoped to write on the internet because all I knew how to do was type in some DOS code that made my name scroll down the computer screen in little asterisks and, besides that, who would actually have a computer in their home for personal use? And internet? I do not know of what you speak.
Also, I am not married to Tom Cruise which really turned out for the best because he’s not all he was cracked up to be in “Top Gun”.
Our valedictorian was asked to make a speech at the dinner on Saturday night and he’s still brilliant because he used at least six different words that I’ve never heard. I made a note to look them up later so I’d know what he was talking about, but I have no idea how to spell them and, to be honest, I can’t even remember them at this point.
(Seriously, I’m buying Sudoku today. But I think it involves numbers so maybe just some crossword puzzles instead. Or maybe I won’t remember to buy either one.)
Later on, I talked to him and met his fiance’. She asked what group I was in and how we knew each other. I told her I was in some of the smart classes in spite of the fact that I was a National Honor Society reject due to my inability to pass Algebra II on my first two tries. I said I felt like all the smart kids knew I was an imposter, but the valedictorian said he didn’t feel that way at all and I should have hung out with them more because they played some mean rounds of Chess on the weekends after band practice, which is totally what my friends did on the weekend but without the Chess and the band practice.
Anyway, I had a lot of fun and laughed until I cried with old friends. The only sad part was when they called everyone to the dance floor to do the Cupid Shuffle and I had no idea what they were talking about. Apparently they sent out a link so we could practice the moves at home before the reunion but I didn’t pay any attention the email.
So in a way it really was like high school because I felt like everyone was totally prepared for some sort of test and I didn’t even know I was supposed to be studying.
Granted, we never had any tests on some sort of tricked-out line dance which is really too bad because that would have been a useful life skill, as opposed to Algebra II.
Maybe I’ll learn it in time for the thirtieth reunion.
Of course by then I’ll have to be careful not to break a hip.
(I’m referring to the Cupid Shuffle, not Algebra II. Just wanted to be clear.)