I’ll never forget the day I realized I was pregnant with you. I’d been through the longest miscarriage experience ever (a story for another time) and been told I needed to wait 3 more months to get pregnant again. Well, your dad and I are obviously not efficient planners because I turned up pregnant with you a little shy of our 3 month waiting period. I remember telling my doctor that I didn’t know how this had happened and he smiled and told me he could get me a book that would explain everything.
I was excited but with a little caution because of what I’d been through. I had been given some pretty strong drugs and I prayed fervently that they were truly out of my system so that you wouldn’t have any extra arms, legs or toes.
The doctor appointment confirmed my pregnancy but said they were a little concerned about my hormone levels. I had to wait a whole weekend to get my test results back and find out that you were okay. During that weekend, I prayed like never before. God gave me peace and helped me realize I needed to enjoy this time and not spend it worrying over what I can’t control.
The afternoon you were born your daddy and I were driving to the hospital and he said “well I guess this is the last time we’ll be alone for the next 18 years” and I burst into tears. I don’t think the reality of impending motherhood hit me until that moment. Understandably, your daddy kept pretty quiet the rest of the drive.
The moment I had you, after a labor that involved no epidural until it was time to push (not my decision, nurse error) I was just in awe. I couldn’t believe that here you were, my daughter. I had dreamed about you, thought about you, but could never have imagined how you would change my life.
You are truly my bright shining star. I love to hear you say “mama” even though you say it 10,000 times a day. I’m so proud of who you are and your independent spirit. I love to watch you nurture your baby dolls, “cook” breakfast in your kitchen, and serve tea with lots of milk and sugar. I love when you end every sentence with “you remember?” I love that when you’re asking for something that I’m probably going to say no to that you let your voice drop down real soft so that maybe I’ll agree to your request without really hearing it. I love the way your face lights up when you see your Mama or Daddy come into the room. I love the little dance you do sometimes before you jump off the diving board or something else that you’re really proud of yourself for.
I feel so blessed that God gave you to me. My prayer is that I will never get in the way of you becoming the woman that God intends for you to be. When I was pregnant, God led me to Isaiah 44: 3-5.
You belong to God. He has all the plans in the world for you and my job is to help you get there. I am so proud that He chose your daddy and me to be with you for this journey.
**Speaking of little girls that belong to God, Addison, Sarah’s daughter, is having open heart surgery this morning. If you think about, you might want to say a prayer for their family today.