Yesterday started out fairly delightful other than the part where I had to get out of bed when it was still dark outside to fry an egg and watch Caroline drown an innocent Eggo waffle in Aunt Jemima syrup. She got dressed with a minimum amount of debate over what constitutes seasonally appropriate attire (much to her dismay, this rules out anything made of velour) and made it to school before the first bell even rang.
After I got home I allowed Scout and Bruiser to drag me around for a few miles since it was a brisk 80 degrees outside and I no longer have to worry about all three of us spontaneously combusting from the heat. Plus I needed to work out and there are just some days where I can’t bear the thought of being tortured by Jillian Michaels and her hateful plank positions.
I straightened up the house, started a load of laundry, and finally finished reading the book of Job. It was a good morning.
Eventually I left the house to run to TJ Maxx. I’m going to Deeper Still in Orlando this weekend and was in need of a carry-on bag with wheels. In the past I’ve always just borrowed a bag from Mimi and Bops, but they are using their luggage this weekend. Gulley said I could borrow her bag but I decided that it was time to be a grown up and purchase my very own black carry-on.
I actually received a gorgeous full set of Hartmann luggage for my high school graduation. Unfortunately, it is dead to me now because that was back in the primitive days of luggage with no wheels when everyone still carried their suitcases around like a bunch of barbarians. Not to mention the days before airlines decided to charge people extra money for checked bags because it’s not like you’ve already shelled out plenty of coin for your ticket.
So I went to TJ Maxx in search of a bag. There were several of your basic black models and also a few in a very tricky shade of red that semi-frightened me. I unzipped some of them and looked at the various interiors trying to decide which ones looked like they could withstand the challenge of being filled with more clothes and shoes than any one person should ever attempt to pack in a carry on bag, yet said person doesn’t want the hassle of checking a bag and enduring a sketchy weigh-in process on a scale that’s designed to make sure that person is charged $50.00.
In the midst of my suitcase research, I happened to spy a really cute pair of black boots right across the aisle and as I walked over to get a closer look (one pair in a size 10) I happened to spy a darling little carry-on bag in a large black and cream checked pattern. I looked at the interior and was delighted to discover that it was hot pink with all kinds of extremely useful and well-placed compartments. The tag said it was by Liz Claiborne.
Well I had no idea that Liz Claiborne made luggage, but back in junior high I was a huge fan of her perfume that came in those primary-colored triangle-shaped bottles. And for Christmas of my sophomore year in high school, my mom bought me this really cool Liz Claiborne jean jacket and I had it for all of two weeks before it got stolen out of my locker. Which I forgot to lock. I guarantee that if my mom reads this post today she’ll feel the need to call me and remind me what a nice jacket that was and how I should have remembered to actually lock my locker. It was that tragic.
Anyway, the official Liz Claiborne price tag on the bag read $240, but we all know that TJ Maxx is all about slashing prices. Or maybe that’s Walmart. Whatever. I searched all over to see what my TJ Maxx price would be, but it was nowhere to be found. And neither was any sort of sales associate.
I didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, I’d found a perfectly serviceable boring black bag for a mere $39.99 (originally $180 retail!), but what if the price on the Liz Claiborne bag had been dramatically slashed and I could get the much sassier bag for only pennies or $30.00 more?
It was more than I could process. I needed some space. So I walked over to the children’s department to see if they had anything in velour for Caroline. That’s when I saw the cutest little vest ever. It’s this great plaid in shades of red and black with some tan mixed in with a fur-trimmed hood that is to die for. And it was in a size 7, which I figured might be a little big but it meant she could wear it for two years. I snatched it up because it was the last one, it was only $15.00, and it only took me three seconds to mentally plan our entire Christmas card picture around it.
Feeling rejuvenated by the great vest discovery of ’09, I went back over to the luggage and decided to take both bags up to the counter and ask them to do a price check on the cutey-cute bag. If it was too much then I’d just take the cheaper, but less chic, black bag.
I rolled my bags up to the counter, waited until the automated voice told me that register number two was now available and then made my way over to a cashier who was all of sixteen years old, clearly thrilled to be working at TJ Maxx and dealing with neurotic moms who agonize over luggage decisions.
Putting on my best smile and hoisting the suitcase up on the counter, I said, “Hi, I’m hoping you can help me. Can you find the price on this Liz Claiborne suitcase?”
He looked at it for two seconds and replied, “Yeah, I don’t see a price”. And then stared at me blankly.
“I know. That’s the problem. I wanted to see how much more it is than this black one.”
He replied, “Umm, it costs more”.
“Yes, I realize it’s probably more expensive but I wanted to know how much more. Can you find out?”
“I don’t really know how to do that. I just know it costs more”.
Well, yes. I can see how it would be hard to find a price on something that’s for sale in a store where you work.
I could feel my patience wearing thin, so I just said, “Never mind. I’ll just take this black one”. My desire for the cute bag lessened when I realized that finding the price could cost me minutes of my life and my sanity that I’d never get back.
But still, I’d found the greatest vest ever for Caroline so all was not lost.
Until she got home from school and I showed it to her, just knowing that she was going to fall totally in love with that darling plaid exterior and fur-trimmed hood. The only problem was going to be convincing her that she couldn’t wear it until the weather cools off.
She took one look at it, wrinkled her nose and said, “Does it come in any other colors like pink or purple because that looks like something a boy would wear”.
So unless I can figure out a way to fit into a girls’ size 7 vest, it looks like I’m headed back to to TJ Maxx later today. And who knows? Maybe that bag will still be there and I can actually get someone to find the price for me.
Or maybe I’ll have to get all belligerent and tell the sales clerk, “No one puts baby in the corner”.
I realize that makes virtually no sense at all, but I felt that I needed to say it in memory of Patrick Swayze.