Yesterday morning I was completely busted. Busted in a way that I haven’t been busted since I was 17 and snuck out of my best friend’s house to go to a party, which should really be a post for another time.
Anyway, Caroline had a friend coming over to play and our playroom was a complete disaster. I realize that it is in fact a playroom, which means it will never be a clean room, but even by playroom standards it was disreputable.
So, I began my stealth approach of casually throwing things into a bag to be thrown away. Broken pieces and parts, dried out playdough, Happy Meal toys, and a few Barbie shoes were quickly disposed of and some semblance of order was returned to the room. I was pleased.
But sadly, I made a flaw worthy of a mere rookie, not a seasoned OCD veteran.
I threw everything away in a Disney Princess bag.
I then placed the Disney Princess bag in my kitchen trash and pulled the whole thing out for P to take to the curb. However, he was doing something really important like buying ammo online and didn’t get the trash out before Old Eagle Eyes spotted the Disney Princess bag through the semi-transparent kitchen trash bag and she had a complete shall we say freak out.
“MAMA, why is my princess bag in the trash? WHY? Get it Mama, get my princess bag. Daddy threw it away! He threw it away!”
And so I let him take the blame.
No, I didn’t, but I thought about it, especially because he was watching this whole exchange with a smug grin on his face.
I said “Oh Mama must have made a mistake, let me get it for you” and I pulled it out of the trash while discreetly dumping out its contents.
She took the treasured bag from me and with her hands on her hips looked at me and said, “Mama, you are always throwing my best stuff away”
She isn’t the first person in this house to accuse me of this offense, but I’m sad that she’s on to me so early. I need to brush up on my stealth moves and remember the first rule of any good spy, always destroy the evidence immediately.