Yesterday, Caroline and I headed to the grocery store. A trip to the store was not in my original plan, but due to the fact that Caroline has acquired another case of intestinal distress, I needed to get some bananas. We had everything else we needed for the BRAT diet and since it is, in fact, the BRAT diet and not the RAT diet, I felt we had to have the bananas in an attempt to make the foulness stop.
Please make the foulness stop.
I made the executive decision to head to the gourmet grocery store instead of our normal HEB. The main reason for this decision is they have chocolate chip cookies in their bakery that are almost as good as homemade, and Mama needed herself a cookie or six.
Anyway, while we were there, I decided we might as well load up on other things we might need in light of the fact that we are supposed to get a wintry mix of weather on Monday and Tuesday.
Y’all haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a wintry mix here in South Texas. The meteorologists will be on ALL DAY with important updates about the VERY COLD RAIN that is falling and tell you that although the temperature is currently 40 degrees, it could plummet to 32 degrees in a heartbeat so DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME. Everyone knows there is nothing more dangerous than driving on very cold wet roads. All the graphic designers at the various networks will be competing to see who can come up with the best winter catchphrase and graphic. It will be an all day event called BIG CHILL ’07 or FROSTY FREEZE ’07. It ought to be called “IT’S ONLY COLD RAIN SO YOU HAVE NO REASON TO SHUT THE CITY DOWN”.
I realize that I have wandered off on a tangent.
So we’re in the grocery store and I decide to get the ingredients to make crawfish etouffee since it’s one of my favorite things to eat on a cold night. Since I don’t shop here all the time and they have a huge produce section, I was wondering aloud where the green bell peppers were, when Caroline pointed right to them and yelled “Land HO!”.
She cracks me up.
I secured a few peppers for us and then headed to the seafood department to buy my frozen crawfish tails. They didn’t have any in the freezer case, so I asked the butcher if he had any in the back. He went to look and sure enough, he had two pounds. Perfect! I’ll take them.
Until he told me they were $24.99 a pound.
I know my mouth dropped open. I looked at him and maybe half shrieked, “$24.99 a pound?” and he said in a very authoritative voice, “Yes, but it’s because they’re from Louisiana.”
Oh, well that makes complete sense seeing as how Louisiana is a whole six hour drive away and covered in crawfish.
What I wanted to tell this poor man, who really has no control over what he is being forced to charge for the bastard of the seafood world, is that I spent a good part of my life in Beaumont, Texas, which is twenty minutes from the Louisiana border, and after a good rain we had crawfish milling around our backyard. Crawfish are not rare, they’re not a delicacy, and they’re not flown in from New Zealand, therefore, there is no way on God’s green earth that I’m paying $24.99 a pound for them.
That would be over $50.00 after tax and that kind of money would be much better spent buying a sweater at Banana Republic.
Needless to say, I left the store with everything I needed to make my crawfish etouffee except for you know…crawfish.
All was not lost though, because while I was there I stocked up on other essential items we will need in case the cold rain keeps us homebound. Sour Patch Kids, Assorted Jelly Bellies, brownie mix, a 12 pack of Corona Light and two bottles of wine.
If that doesn’t get us through, I don’t know what will.