I’m not a huge fan of award shows. It seems like every year there are more and more award shows and honestly, it’s hard for me to keep up with all of them. The best part of any of these shows is usually the red carpet, because I like to mock and/or admire the various wardrobe selections. But other than the fashion, the shows usually just serve as a sad reminder that I have no idea who Gnarls Barkley is and apparently, I should.
Last night, however, I excitedly turned on the Grammys because I was dying to see the big Police reunion. Ever since hearing Scrantonicity sing “Roxanne” on The Office this past week, I have missed the Police more than I already did.
If I had a soundtrack to my junior high years, a good portion would contain songs like Every Breath You Take, Don’t Stand So Close To Me, and Every Little Thing She Does is Magic. I loved the Police and later, loved Sting.
I wore out my cassette of Dream of the Blue Turtles listening to Fortress Around Your Heart. It was the perfect anthem for my 8th grade angst as I dreamed about the sophomore boy that I so desperately wanted to call and ask me to meet him at the mall. I would pop that cassette into my York stereo, fast forward to that song and lie on my bed as I cried while singing “and if I built this fortress around your heart, encircled you with trenches and barbed wire…”. I fancied myself quite the intellectual for crying to Sting instead of say, El Debarge.
I may have been a little dramatic.
I have to say that I was slightly disturbed to see Sting wearing a vest with no shirt under it because in college I had a professor that taught Intercultural Communications that often sported that same look, but with less physique and much, much more chest hair. It brought back some bad memories. Nevertheless, I loved seeing the Police back together again, shirt or no shirt.
P and I ended up watching the entire show together, which is some kind of marital record for us, because P, as a general rule, doesn’t watch shows that don’t involve some type of weaponry. And since we were watching together, he got to hear all the scoop about Cameron and Justin breaking up and how Justin is now supposedly dating Jessica Biel. He remarked that Justin could probably get any girl he wanted and I said “Not me, I’d never leave you for Justin. I might leave you for Emmitt Smith, but not Justin”. Don’t judge me, y’all know Emmitt can dance.
We also agreed that since the Dixie Chicks won so many awards, that our good friends Charlie and Emily may go ahead and join the Country Club this summer, so we might not be seeing them at the pool, which is really a shame because I’d love to sit down and chat if for no other reason than to find out who colored Natalie’s hair because it looked fabulous.
The best line of the night goes to P, who asked me if Carrie Underwood was a Christian since she sings that song Jesus, Take the Wheel. I told him I had read an interview with her where she dodged the question and he said “Well, then why would she sing that song?” and I said, “I guess she just liked it”. He replied, “Maybe when she first saw it she thought it was about a Hispanic chaffeur named Jesus”.
And that’s why I’d really never leave him for Emmitt.