I could talk about Caroline and the fact that I spent all weekend making Valentines cards for her to take to school. I had these grand visions that it would be a fun mother/daughter project but I forgot two important factors.
1. I have OCD. I admit it. I claim it. I own it. Let me tell y’all that OCD and a 3 year old with a huge bottle of glitter is just a recipe for a nervous breakdown that could require vast amounts of medication.
2. Caroline has the attention span of a scared housecat. Once she realized I wasn’t going to let her dump an entire bottle of glitter on my kitchen floor, she was pretty much over the entire Valentine making process. She preferred to just sit and tell me how to do it like I was her own personal craft servant. Think Martha Stewart and those poor saps she gets on her show so that she can show her superiority at making tissue paper flowers.
However, since we were halfway done with our cards, I had to press on because I couldn’t give half the class homemade Valentines and the other half of the class Dora the Explorer store bought cards. If any of her classmates end up in therapy it will be their parents’ fault, not because Caroline didn’t make them a special, handmade Valentine when they were three.
Neurotic is the word y’all are looking for.
Anyway, this afternoon I went to our nearest Hallmark store to buy cards for P and Caroline. It was so crowded that I just knew they must be giving away free chocolate, but they weren’t. No free chocolate; just cards and balloons and stuffed animals that were available for overpriced purchase.
Somewhere I guarantee that Mr. Hallmark is counting his money and thanking God that the American public completely bought in to this marketing celebration o’ love. I honestly almost bought a cute Valentine gift bag today because it was only $1.99 instead of $3.99 with the purchase of a $10.00 Loveable, Huggable animal. Doesn’t it totally make sense to spend that $10.00 to get $2.00 off?
Yes, I thought so.
1. Sour Patch Kids. They are the perfect mix of sour and sweet and I still eat them even though my orthodontist, Dr. Kevorkian, would have a fit if he knew. I am a total orthodontia rebel.
2. Cold, rainy days when we have nowhere to be but home and can stay in our pajamas all day.
3. The sound of P’s truck pulling into the driveway because I know he’s home. And for me, home isn’t quite as nice without him here.
4. Diet Coke with Lime because before the Coke people got together with the Lime people, I couldn’t stand the taste of Diet Coke. Now, I can drink three Cokes a day with no guilt.
5. My friends. They are funny, they are supportive, they are the best and if need be will pick me up in their Trailblazer.
6. Reruns of Friends because they always make me laugh and different episodes always remind me of things that were going on in my life when they originally aired. Specifically, I have many memories of standing in front of a mirror trying to get my hair to look just like Rachel’s because good hair is the key to a better life.
7. Quality movies that make me laugh and cry like Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby.
8. Chocolate in just about any form but specifically, Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownies. A pan of them will help solve just about any crisis. Two pans? Could bring peace to the Middle East.
9. The way Caroline looks when she’s sleeping with her little hand tucked under her chin. It’s like I’m seeing an angel straight from heaven. To quote Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona, “I just love that baby.
10. Watching P and Caroline together because it makes me love both of them that much more.
Happy Valentines Day. I hope y’all are spending it enjoying the things that you love.