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Love never fails

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Oh if you only knew the irony of the post I’m about to write. It’s thick. Especially since I tend to stick to writing about reality television and other meaningless nonsense. Like my love for bright yellow jackets on sale for $23.99. I just tend to write about the funny, lighthearted things because I am generally a funny, lighthearted person.

But then I spent a large portion of the day reading various things like books and articles and blog posts because P and Caroline went down to the ranch to set some things on fire. And somewhere in the course of the afternoon, I felt a different kind of fire start in me.

(My deepest apologies to those who just stumbled here in search of a cute jacket.)

I am sick and tired of watching Christians eat their own. And what I mean by that is all the attacking and the back-biting and the endless arguments over what Jesus said and how he said it and who is right and who is wrong. I will never claim to be a great theologian, largely because I am not a great theologian, but I believe in a God who loves mercy and grace. I believe in a God that tells us that without love we are just clanging cymbals.

And I believe when we spend so much time dissecting the Word of God merely to argue with others over who is the most right, it makes God sad. I think it makes Him shake His holy head and wonder how we are missing the entire point of Christianity while we eat lunch and go to work and shop the sales at Gap with people all around us who don’t know Him. But instead of showing them who He is, they see us fight and argue and judge each other instead of extending grace and understanding and mercy.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe we are called to examine God’s word and to know it. We are called to be able to give an answer for what we believe and why we believe it. But when we use that knowledge to belittle others or condemn them? OH NO MA’AM.

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.” 2 Peter 1:5-9

I think Satan (oh yes, I just dropped in a Satan like I’m the church lady) loves when we get so distracted by all these small debates that cause us to become so inwardly focused that we forget about the world around us that is hurting, hopeless and lost. A world that is desperate for something that looks different. Something that offers a hope and a future that’s different from the wreckage of the past and present.

I have lived a large chunk of my thirty-nine years in rebellion against God. I’ve ignored His word, run from His love, and tried my best to screw up my life with a lot of wrong decisions. I’ve also spent many years devoted to Him to the point of becoming legalistic and judgmental and losing the joy of my salvation because I’ve been so worried about the rules. I’ve looked at a lot of specks in other people’s eyes while ignoring the big old plank in my own.

But somewhere over the last several years, I’ve begun to realize that my small mind can’t comprehend the love and mercy of God. He is not a one size fits all Creator. He is the God of the Universe and He has made us all uniquely different and equipped each of us with gifts and abilities to fulfill plans He has for us. Why would we assume that our walks with Him or even our understanding of Him would look the same? As it says in Isaiah 40:13 “Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor?”

My walk with Christ is as uniquely mine as my personality. I’ve spent a lot of time believing I should be more like this Bible teacher or more emotional like this person or hear from God in a certain way or adopt a child from Africa or sell all my earthly possessions, but He’s made me to be me. And He’s made you to be you. If God was only after one type of relationship with one type of person, it probably would have been a whole lot easier for Him to just create one person and be done with it. I speak from experience. I only have one child and it’s easy to know her because she’s the only one I have.

But I know from watching my friends with multiple children that they have unique relationships with each of those kids based on their personalities and their gifts. They talk to their kids differently and show them how they love them in ways that speak to that child.

I believe God is the same way.

And I believe it’s ignorant when we start to think that our understanding of Him is the only way and there’s no room for growth. I don’t believe any of us will get to heaven and receive a trophy or a plaque with “YOU WERE THE MOST RIGHT” engraved on it. Throughout my life, He has been my Redeemer, Protector, Provision, Salvation, Lover, and Friend. He has caused conviction where I am in the wrong and He has loved me lavishly and extravagantly where I am just His child in need of grace and mercy.

I am not a Biblical scholar. I can’t tell you all the Greek and Hebrew translations in the Bible. In fact, I just bought a fancy Bible a few weeks ago with the Greek and Hebrew translations and I’m sure it will be great as soon as I learn how to use the dadgum thing. I’ll keep you posted.

But here’s what I do know. I do not want to serve a God who fits into my limited understanding. I don’t want to serve a God who can be completely explained in the human realm. I want a God that is so much bigger than me that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to know Him more, love Him more, and serve Him better.

I believe in a God that removes my sins as far as the east is from the west because that’s a distance my mind can’t comprehend. I’m doing Beth Moore’s study of Revelation and she talks about when John has his vision and sees the throne room of God. He describes so many incredible, unbelievable things, but he never describes God. Most likely because God defies description.

To me, that’s the God who is worth my devotion. That’s a God I want to share with a lost world instead of reducing him to what my limited human perspective can understand.

It makes me think of a passage I read to Caroline last night in Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis where Lucy sees Aslan after a long time apart and exclaims, “Aslan! You’re bigger.”

“That is because you are older, little one, ” answered he.

“Not because you are?”

“I am not. But every year you grow you will find me bigger.”

I pray that every year I grow I will find Him bigger.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” I Corinthians 13: 1-3

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  2. Thank you!!! I needed to hear that. We would all be better off if we would focus on God instead of ourselves and how “right” we are. And you are right on the money when you mention that the world needs to know the God who is, not who we imagine Him to be with our limited understanding. The journey to know Him more, love Him more, worship Him more and serve Him and those He created will bring more joy than winning any debate. I feel refreshed after reading your blog. Thanks Melanie. I certainly needed the reminder today.

    Be blessed!!!!

    • This resonates with me this morning as I have had my problems with this lately myself because of an experience my daughter had. I believe that all of our divisions grieve our Lord. We have to give our all to Him and then we are told to love. What could be more beautiful?

      NOTHING!

      Thanks for sharing.

  3. Preach on sister! For Christians, our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness – our diversity. We get so wrapped up in arguing over who’s right that we don’t get a dag blasted thing done! We are still a majority in this country – but you wouldn’t know because we can’t unify enough to let the voice of our God be heard. I often think that we must look a band of imbeciles to outsiders rather than the band of brother and sisters that we should be.

    OK – soapbox over- just glad to hear someone else voice what I have thought time and time again!

  4. Preach it!!! I’m moved to tears, moved to recognition!!! Melanie I am so beyond tired of the cutting up we do of our own brothers and sisters. God help me NEVER stop examining my own heart. I’ve never seen (heard, that is) you so fired up and feisty. It has to be said! And you said it so well.
    And when I begin to forget, God help! Send someone to remind me of the very theme of what I write, what I have lived even, over these past few years let alone my entire life–LOVE COVERS! Praise God it covers!
    Thank you for such a well said, laced with love post!!

  5. This made me think! I like this kind of post every once in awhile. I mess up constantly, my life isn’t perfect, and I’m constantly worried I’m scarring my kids for life…but I too believe in a God of mercy and grace. I hardly talk about religion, especially not persuasively, I know our God loves everyone, so I try to let him speak for himself through me. 99% of the time, I don’t do Him justice, but I try!
    Good post!

  9. Yeah, but WHERE is the yellow jacket on sale???

    Okay, KIDDING!!!! 🙂 Wonderful, wonderful post!!! And how funny–I JUST clicked over here from one of the blogs doing just what you were talking about. I read and read, and clicked and read some more. Ugh. Just too much. I am right there with ya, Sista Big Mama.

    “My walk with Christ is as uniquely mine as my personality” –I LOVE that. Oh, that we would all show grace to each other as we travel our own roads toward Christ. AND, if we’d all just keep our eyes on our own road and goal (God!!), and not on those traveling around us, we’d all be better off!

    Thank you for such wonderfully uplifting words…and so timely…since I just felt gross from reading about Christians attacking one another. Ugh.

    3 cheers for grace and love…and devotion to a God who grows bigger and bigger each year!!!

  13. A thousand amens to this, you church lady, you. You basically pulled all my deep thoughts of the week and wrapped them up in a word ribbon.

    I decided this weekend (after a significant amount of blog-hopping) that I need a controversy fast. A steady diet of controversy leads to seeing everything as controversial – something juicy to cause division – and when I’m focused on that? I miss Jesus in all of it. Whereas, if I keep my eyes fixed on His magnitude, His grace, His love… there just isn’t any time left to, you know, beat down His own bride.

    More grace… always more grace…

    • controversy fast, I love that and will be doing that for Lent. Thank you, a much needed reminder.

    • I so needed that reminder of taking a controversy fast. Things have been kinda yucky at work with one person and I need to document some things and I am starting to find issues in everything.

      I need a break from it.

      Jen

    • yes… love you for posting what God placed on your heart. as someone said above I was in need of a controversy diet as well. life, even with the current giant trial that is before me now, is easier. less stressful.

  15. Nicely done! Thank you for your authenticness (why yes that is a made up word– you totally deserve a nice new word after this post!) I love reading your blog and find this post to be why people relate to you so easily. So preach it siesta, and know that you rocked this one!!

  16. You just verbalized so much of my own thoughts
    After spending time here and there on blogs, message
    Boards and beyond online. Thank you.

  19. WOW…. Great post!! Just had a similar discussion while pondering joining a different denomination. ……..an old Amish saying “always
    preach the gospel…….use words if necessary”
    God Bless, Pam

  23. Thank you so much! Very well said. Will be thinking of this and pondering it during the week. Have a wonderful week! 🙂

  24. My daughter found the love of her life and he the love of his. Because his family is of a strict secular orthodox Christianity, his mother was not accepting this amazing gift. It was breaking both their hearts. I don’t know what happened but she decided to accept my daughter and for that I am very grateful. It was such a lesson in ugliness and religious racism that no one should have to go through.

  25. Thank you. I needed to read that this morning for the message of love we are to spread. Thanks for the reminder.

  27. “I don’t believe any of us will get to heaven and receive a trophy or a plaque with ‘YOU WERE THE MOST RIGHT’ engraved on it.”

    So grateful for women that can stand on truth and speak what I can’t clearly articulate. You made me laugh and cry and applaud. Thank you. I am quickly reminded in the midst of these “discussions” of how I myself have been treated and how I have needed to treat others just in the name of “being right.” It leaves me angry and grief stricken. Reminded of what I was and so grateful that a bigger God has shown me everything I am not.
    Love. Love. Love this. It’s a good way to start off a week…
    prepare to be tarred and feathered! 🙂

  29. Look at you all fired up:) Can’t put Him in a box that is for sure. The older we get, the more realize how much we don’t get it. I have been reading Narnia to my men children as well. I ALWAYS get more out of it than they do. Of course, they are usually asleep in about 30 seconds. Have a great week!

  32. WOW!

    God completely blew me away by how He used the mind that He gave you to articulate this so truthfully. This oozes Truth… and the Author of all Truth and all Wisdom gets all the glory… every last drop. May He bless you for being obedient to His leading… Bless you for using the gift He has bestowed on you to bring the focus back to Him and His truth.

    I am so glad you took the time to write the Truth — to be used as a Light — instead of a ‘noisy clanging gong of a cymbal’ — or to mindlessly shop the racks in ‘distracted bliss’.

    Thanks for this — just pure, honest thanks. I need to engrave this on a board that I wear around my neck:
    “And I believe it’s ignorant when we start to think that our understanding of Him is the only way and there’s no room for growth. I don’t believe any of us will get to heaven and receive a trophy or a plaque with “YOU WERE THE MOST RIGHT” engraved on it. Throughout my life, He has been my Redeemer, Protector, Provision, Salvation, Lover, and Friend. He has caused conviction where I am in the wrong and He has loved me lavishly and extravagantly where I am just His child in need of grace and mercy.”

    And then this:
    “…To me, that’s the God who is worth my devotion. That’s a God I want to share with a lost world instead of reducing him to what my limited human perspective can understand.”

    Can I just quote everything you said? 🙂

    This mama here is sending you the largest hug for your reminder that He is God and WE ARE NOT.

    Bless you, sister. Bless you.

  34. Well you just hit the nail right square on the head here, Melanie. You obviously have no idea of the events taking place in a Northern Virginia church involving many families right now, but this just confirmed everything I’ve been thinking for weeks. Thanks for sharing.

  36. Thank you for using your beautiful God-given ability of articulation to share such a crucial topic with your readers. God has spoken to you and you have listened and been obedient in this revelation. I rejoice at the many lives your words may touch. May those readers be transformed by His graciousness.

  38. I used to read blogs obsessively. I used to blog almost as obsessively. I used to read here regularly, but I’ve become the gal who can only get her mind around pithy nuggets of truth and mirth that can fit in a FB status. I am so glad Mary Ostyn linked to this post via FB, and that I stuck around to read the whole post. I say a wholehearted “AMEN!” to the thoughts of your heart, Melanie. Thank you for a timely word that so dovetails with the other truths that God has been teaching me away from the blogosphere. Definitely food for thought. Sure do appreciate you and your heart.

  40. I recently outed myself to friends and family as a *whispers* Christian. I mean, I’ve always been one, but only while at church on Sundays and never in an outwardly manner. I was so afraid that everyone would think that suddenly I’d become a person that was going to start judging their every action.

    I love the message of this post and I so wish that everyone, Christians, non-Christians, EVERYONE would read it and see a teeny tiny glimpse of the true goodness of our God.

  41. Preach it Sista! I have found that those who argue the most about insignificant issues in scripture are those who have studied the word the least or are those who understand themselves the least. The more you get in the Word the more you find out how little you really know. If we spend our time worrying about how we do or don’t dress, contemporary or traditional worship etc…then we have missed the point. We are wrapping ourselves up in tradition like the Pharisees. We are so caught up in the rules and proving we’re right that we fail to get in the trenches with those who are looking for a Savior. How can we be His hands and feet if we are too busy stumbling over our own? Thank you for bringing this up and calling it like it is. Ohh and Beth Moore’s Revelation Study must be awesome…I am definitely going to look into that one. 🙂

  43. Judging by the number of comments this post has at only 8 am, I guess it’s safe to say I’m not the only one this struck a chord with this morning. Thank you for sharing from your heart! 🙂 This was a great way to start my Monday!

  44. Wow, what a moving post to read while I drink my morning coffee. This is a real “need to read”, probably the most inspirational post I’ve read as a newbie blogger. Way to say it like it is.

  45. Loved it. You can always be counted on to start my morning, be it fashion, tv or some good preaching. I adore your blog for so many reasons!

  49. Long time reader……..Love this and love you whether you are talking about the jacket on sale or how B-I-G our GOD is! Thank goodness GOD is so much bigger and better than we can all imagine!

  51. I can totally relate to your words! I have been on both sides of the fence too, hopelessly lost then hopelessly legalistic- and both are miserable! Loving God is the only answer that fits, and when we really, truly, concentrate on that, what others are doing (or not doing)in their relationship with him just doesn’t matter as much!
    I want to know what you read that got you so fired up, because you just preached a good word! I mean it! Loved it!

    Also, on another note, is it just me or is week 6 of Couch to 5K brutal to you, too? Is it just me? I thought my legs were gonna fall off mid run.

  53. I didn’t miss the insight into access to cute, affordable jackets at all!

    A wonderful post and an amazing reminder as to how important our lack of judgement and our love of others is in this daily life. Thank you! Thank you!

  55. Preach it….

    And, if the new Bible you bought is the Key Word Bible—I just bought it and am trying to figure it out too. When you do, can you please do a “Key Word Bible for Dummies” post? : )

  57. Awesome post! And obviously something we all can relate to and needed to hear. Thanks for being obedient and writing what was on your heart.

  58. I agree with you. I do think it’s important that we study the word and know what it means. Translations are helpful, but I tend to look to my pastor for wisdom as he has really studied and labored over the passages more than I have. We can help each other with the knowledge we possess, but so often we abuse that knowledge and try to impress others with it. That does not glorify God as it takes the focus off of Him and puts it on us. We are to live lives that glorify Him! I enjoyed this post.:)

  62. Are you INSIDE MY FREAKING HEAD?!?! I’ve been wrestling SO HARD with so much of this. Makes me want to cry that I’ve wasted 35 years of my life (okay, so it’s not totally wasted) focused on the WRONG THINGS. I’m determined to LOVE AND MERCY MY BRAINS OUT for whatever time I’ve got left. I love you, friend.

    • please don’t think of it as wasted. your life is precious. your past is precious. don’t be so hard on yourself.

  65. Yes. In each of us, in each of our churches, as each of us grows up to the full measure of the stature of Christ, there is room for growth. May God give us grace to extend love that is patient and kind toward one another while He does His work in each of us.

  66. I may have said “YES!!!” to this – outloud.
    “But here’s what I do know. I do not want to serve a God who fits into my limited understanding. I don’t want to serve a God who can be completely explained in the human realm. I want a God that is so much bigger than me that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to know Him more, love Him more, and serve Him better.”

    I pray we all find Him bigger – not because we have to “find” Him at all. Big is who He is! He’s the same it’s just that we need a perspective change.

  67. While I DO agree with you….on the other hand, I just wanted to point out that sometimes it is right to point out error in other’s teaching, even other professing Christians. That’s what much of the epistles do. Sometimes the epistles even call for separation from those who teach wrong things. Sure some people take it way too far and become nit-picky as a lifestyle and separate and fuss over things when they should exercise grace. But there’s balance in all things.

    • Oh come on Barbara. you totally did not get what Melanie is saying. Your “error” is not my “error”. Did you miss this: Isaiah 40:13 “Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor?”

  69. Well said Big Mama! Our small group is going through a book called The Good and Beautiful Community and the author has one whole chapter about this same subject. He says that as long as you agree about the essentials (ultimately that Jesus is LORD) then everything else can be overlooked. It was interesting.

  70. Found this post after reading-weeping over the post at http://www.aholyexpe erience.com. Here I am in a city not my home on a sabbatical and finding the One who pursues us with such infinite amazing love.. we could go to the ends of the earth and He would meet us there.
    Yesterday, I visited a historical church here in the area… Catholic.. I’ve lived my life as a Protestant and just wanted to experience their service. The deep reverence and quiet were a bit unsettling since music, talking and even laughter are the first things that assault my senses on entering my own place of worship.
    As the service progressed and I watched the priest reverently prepare the Eucharist, I found myself very close to tears and felt as if I might weep aloud. My own personal relationship with Christ has come out of a place of deep wounding and painful moments but also grew as I experienced some of what you have written… a feeling of being judged by other Christians for failures and mistakes. It wasn’t until He made me aware of my own judgmental and critical spirit I truly began to heal.
    As I’ve walked more closely with Him, I can only describe what I feel is His heart growing inside of me. My one thought throughout the Catholic service was “how have we gotten so far from what He desires.. the unity.. that our hearts would be as one… dispensing His love to those who have not yet found Him? We spend so much time propping up our own beliefs and touting our own way of living the gospel, we forget that He IS the way.
    The priest shared about the futility of building a house on a foundation of sand. If we build our house of faith on sand and believe our neighborhood and community of believers is the only one who knows “the way” while we forget His command to love, won’t our house be washed away when the first gales of the storm come through?
    As I left the building, an elderly couple who recognized me as a visitor approached me and invited me to lunch. Having plans, I had to turn down their invitation which left me thinking for quite some time after. Me, a complete stranger….not even one of “their kind, their faith,” reaching out to me in love. Isn’t that what it’s all about? So, I don’t know their order of service or the right prayers or how to take communion in their midst… I know the Jesus who hangs on the cross over the table. Are we going to argue and judge those who come to Him in a different way when His love is extravagantly poured out for each individual coming to Him in their own personal way? God forbid it to be so.

  72. Having three kids (and one on the way) I often find myself saying, “You worry about what YOU are doing, if YOU are listening to mama and making good choices, not what your sister/brother is doing.” I think God wishes we were more like that – if I focussed on what He wanted me to be doing and heard what He was saying to me, I would be in a much better position to love those around me instead of criticize or condemn. Thanks for a serious post, but also for the laughs (and the mental image of the sweater leggings which makes me smile every time I think of them!).

  73. Amen, sister! Beautifully said. My favorite line? Well, actually my favorite paragraph is this:

    But here’s what I do know. I do not want to serve a God who fits into my limited understanding. I don’t want to serve a God who can be completely explained in the human realm. I want a God that is so much bigger than me that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to know Him more, love Him more, and serve Him better.

    I wholly agree!

  74. I read you every day and many times laugh out loud, and always admire your way with words. But today’s post is the best I have ever read on this subject, and one of the best posts you have written! Bless you, my sister in Christ! I believe God has anointed you in this special bloggy space to reach many people. Keep on writing!

  75. I think Satan (oh my, I said it too!) does a lot to destory the church, and I think he mostly does it internally. When a local church “dies,” it’s usually because of some internal strife, not some outward attack. We need to pay better attention to that. My personal experience –a pastor told me I didn’t live up to his standards and expectations. It crushed me because I’ve always loved church and tried my best to serve Chirst there. While I did not lash out or retaliate, I have only made it to the self-control level of the 2 Peter reference. After that I just did nothing. Never made it to the love. Still haven’t. Thanks for the reminder that I need to work on getting there.

  76. So, I cried instead of laughing while I read your post today…but it was a good cry! I whole-heartedly agree! And enjoyed being reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote. Thanks for the switch today 🙂

  78. I don’t comment often because, well, let’s face it, I can’t really pull of the adorable yellow jacket even though I like to dream that I could, but this time I just had to chime in. Very well said. It is such a great thing when someone steps up with the Truth. Not a common thing in the blogworld. Thank you for keepin’ it real. We have to live what we love about the King everday!

  79. I love this post. This is so accurate, it is like you are able to say the things that are on my mind and heart that I have not been able to articulate. I couldn’t agree with this post more, rock on Melanie!

  83. I needed that this morning and I appreciate your willingness to share it! I could tell it was absolutely spoken from your heart. Thank you!!!

  84. Well said Melaine! EXCELLENT post!!! Thank you for sharing your heart on this issue…I agree completely.
    Blessings,
    Susan

  85. Really nice post! Your blog has such a lovely balance of humor, honesty, fun and inspiration. I think you must be a really wonderful in-real-life friend. Thank You!

  86. God has really been working on me in the subject of love. Our church has been going through difficulties and “unity” is almost a dirty word. I love what you wrote! I will be sharing this and I will be visiting your blog again.
    Blessings, Carin

  88. Oh girl. I so agree with all of this. We all have a walk with God…and nobody is doing it the “right” way- we are just doing it the best way we can. To look at somebody elses walk takes my eyes off of my own, and then I stumble. So I simply follow something I heard that changed my life- “Go out into the world and show everyone who God is. Use words only if you have to.”

  89. AMEN.

    My pastor talked about Rob Bell’s new book this Sunday as if he knew what Rob was trying to say (they haven’t even released the book yet so there’s no way he could really have an educated opinion about what was written) and I know that we should not take a universalism approach, however, I don’t know the final answer. I’m not God. I leave final judgment to HIM and I do my best to LOVE as Christ commands!

  92. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and this is the first time I’ve commented. This was a real encouragement to me! I tend to compare myself and expect my walk to be as others’. Thanks for the reminder that He has created us each differently, and He has a specific plan and purpose for us as individuals.
    This was a great post! (Though I love all of your posts…)

  95. Thanks so much for posting this, it is beautiful! I was just talking about this issue with some friends yesterday, and how sad it is when a church splits up over something like hair coverings.

    I think it is a fine line sometimes. I believe that some churches go too far to try to include everyone, such as people in unrepentant adulterous relationships, and they become just like the rest of the world. God calls us to be set apart, so we definitely need to have standards.

    But some issues are so minuscule they aren’t even worth wasting time talking about. And it truly is sad when Christians portray themselves to the world as a bunch of back-biting, holier-than-thou legalists. I am encouraged by your words and am reminded again how important it is that my walk with Christ is my own, and comparing it with anyone else’s is just a waste of time.

  97. Amen. Probably only commented two times ever but couldn’t agree more and might even see some applications to the disrespectful, hateful talk that is evolving to the new political realities… Going to have to print and pray over this!

  98. Amen and hallelujah! I visit your site often but rarely post. You write very entertaining posts, young lady, and I love ’em. But this. Magnificent. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for giving those of us who stop by something to think about. I think God is smiling at you.

  99. I really like this post! I’m a recent lurker of your blog, and while I love the day to day fun stuff, I really am inspiredby posts like this one. I have spent most of my 29 years running from the arms of my Savior. It was only in the last few years that I have been able to develop a beautiful relationship with the Lord. I can’t understand why people feel it is so necessary to “one-up” each other all the time, but especially Christians. We’re supposed to provide a Godly example for non-believers so that our actions, not our mouths, proclaim our salvation. But constantly pulling each other down? Not exactly a Godly example! I was listening to a sermon last night on my ipod about this very thing, well sort of. Are we living as though we are fully devoted followers of Christ, or are we just giving it lip service? I know I will never be perfect, but I pray every day that I may improve in my ways to be a better example of Christ-like behavior. That I can avoid judging, gossip, and tearing others down when I should work to build them up.

    Thanks for this post. It is awesome! And your new Bible sounds cool too. I’m doing the chronological Bible in a year plan, but I’m using a really basic translation so I think I’ll have to go back and reread a better translation next year!

    Sarah

  100. But above all these things, put on love which is the bond of perfection. Colossians 3:14

    I was just thinking this morning how big our God is, I mean He holds the universe in the span of His hand, and we don’t even know how big the universe is, it’s bigger than the greatest minds can grasp–So that’s a pretty big hand that God has. This side of Heaven, our finite little minds will never comprehend Him, so we just bask in is unfailing love, grace and mercy.

    Be blessed! Donna

  108. What a great post! I usually don’t like to discuss my feelings about God with anyone, especially my Southern Baptist sister. But I loved, loved, loved this “conversation”. You are my kind of woman.

  112. This brought me to tears. It’s like you crawled into my 39-year-old heart and wrote for me. I, too, have been at one extreme of rebellion to the other of legalism. And I want no part of either one anymore. No thank you. After my “Christain world” came crumbling down with a divorce, my entire perspective of changed. And all I know is that God is GRACE. Scandalous, unfair, undeserving grace. And I don’t have the time, energy, knowledge, understanding, or moxy to argue anything but that.

    Thank you for articulating so well, Churcy Lady. 🙂

  114. What you have written here touched my soul, Melanie. You have spoken the truth beautifully and with great eloquence. Thank you for blessing my morning.

  117. Thank you for the beautiful message this morning. It put a light on many of my questions and I can truthfully say….thank you.

  118. Lovely post, and one of my favorite Narnia quotes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they were just what I needed to hear today.

  119. AMEN! So well said:) This truly spoke to me this Monday morning, now I just need a bright yellow coat on sale and my day will be perfect:)

  122. Jon Acuff blogs about judging others in his post #971 today. Good read, and ties in with your insights as well. Big Mama, when you get riled up, you certainly preach it! Thanks for being authentic.

  125. Amen sister! Preach it! 😉 There is so much truth in this post I can’t hardly stand it!

  129. Wow, Big Mama! Bring it 🙂 I read your blog every, every, every day, but I rarely comment. You have been given an incredible gift with words and I love the way you write. Although this one did not make me “LOL” like they usually do, it is definitely one of your best. You nailed it, and I love it! Keep sharing with us whatever is on your heart. (and I love that you used the word “dadgum!”) :p

  130. I totally agree! We were just talking about a similar topic this weekend. How can you say you love God whom you have not seen when you cannot even love your brother that you have seen. My paraphrasing of I John 4:20. Love and Blessings, Debbie in Tennessee

  131. Oh my goodness. We are so in the same place right now. Our church just wrapped up a series called “Super Natural.” Yesterday’s sermon was on Spiritual Gifts. Our Pastor talked about how we, the church, try to decide which gifts are more important or should acknowledged. But, we also downplay certain gifts and try to say that they are not important anymore. Growing up Baptist it was such an eye opener. This is a contemporary church that preaches more from the Bible than I have ever heard. It was an amazing sermon. It will be up on the website in a couple of days if anyone is interested! http://www.mylifefellowship.com

  132. Long time reader, first time commenter here. I love this post so, so much. Thanks for writing it.

  133. WOW. This was awesome! Looks like someone might be getting moved away from the “merch table” and onto the stage!
    Totally agree with your thoughts…praying for grace to get low and stay there! 🙂

  136. Extremely well said. I’ve bookmarked this post and will refer to it often, I’m sure. And I know I will be sending it to many friends as well. Thank you!

  138. This is wonderful. I think and write about this all the time.

    Could it be.. could it be dear Church.. that God is speaking loud and clear?

    Have the programs, ministries, conferences, classes, and books, perhaps become a stench in His nostrils if we are busy at self-improvement? Haven’t we still not understood that when we water others we will be watered ourselves?

    Great post.

  139. These have been exactly my thoughts for days. Thanks for this post and for being a voice of reason!

  143. BEAUTIFUL POST! Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to write it and for bravely posting it. So much Truth. Blessings!

  149. Hi Melanie,

    Typically I would agree with you, but I can’t at this time and you know…that is okay.

    I think that there are times when if you feel a statement by a person is so against your beliefs that it is wrong to keep your mouth shut, then it is time to speak.

    I think you might be referring to the Rob Bell convtrovery and let me tell you, I don’t agree with Rob Bell at all, and I tell others that I do not. I think it is a shame when in an attempt to bring people to Christ, that we water down our beliefs to appear attractive enough to get people to believe as we do.

    Throughout history there have times of great theological debate and controversy. Just think, what if Martin Luther would have said, “You know what, it’s okay they don’t believe like me, I’ll just keep my beliefs to myself.”

    • I’m curious, Lisa, since Rob Bell’s book hasn’t been released yet… Did you get an advanced copy to read? Or are you just judging by the inflammatory statements made by others, who also have not read the book yet?

  152. Wow, I cannot express to you what you have shared means to me. The love of Christ has set me free with your obedience to Him by sharing this today. Through my tears I am thanking you and your commenters for the encouragement I so needed to go on today.

  154. This was a beautiful and awe inspiring entry! Thanks so much for sharing this with me!
    God Bless!

  155. Well, with 140+ people already ahead of me (at least!) my little contribution will probably get lost in the shuffle. But never you mind. I’m dropping it off anyway.

    We are on a very similar track about God’s relationship with us. It’s not so much that I spend a lot of energy judging other people who don’t experience Him the way I do. It’s that for the entire time I’ve known Him I’ve lived with a kind of simmering frustration with my actual experience of Him compared to what I think it should be. I finally had to comfort myself with this, though I have clear Scriptural foundation for it: He is utterly sovereign and it is completely within His rights to determine how I experience Him with no input from me. Is it just an excuse so I don’t have to worry about reaching the maturity He has in mind for me? Maybe. But I still think there’s a lot of truth in the principle that He is The Great Decider. And that includes how I experience Him.

  156. I have such poor proofreading skills. In #156 above I meant to say “… though I have *no* clear Scriptural foundation for it”.

  157. God has just used you, his daughter, in such a beautiful way. A way of truth. May He receive all of the glory that has been written and read today.

  158. What a wonderful post. I hear you I really do, I have felt this way many times.

    I love the last bit from the C.S. Lewis book, so much that I am thinking about using it in a post on my blog. I love to think that as we get older and bigger in our faith that He appears bigger to us. What an awesome thought.

    I just found your blog through a link from Bring The Rain, I plan on starting to follow you as soon as I finish typing this

  159. And all God’s people said “Amen.”

    I did Beth’s study, Revelation a few months ago. It was an amazing study that really had me thinking about a lot of stuff. Well, and that is what she wanted us to do: see what God reveals.

    BTW, I bet Jesus is smiling about your insertion of Gap into all of this. 🙂

  161. You know, just yesterday I had a conversation with my son about how Satan was happy about the fighting going on our family that day. I felt a little crazy but I think we don’t always accept that Satan is real and fighting hard everyday to make us a little dull and less reflective of God’s glory. There is a battle going on and it needs to be against Satan, not against other believers.

  162. AMEN AMEN AMEN!!! I can’t wait to read this to my bible study tomorrow night. We have so been struggling this so much. Just perfect!!!

  163. Thanks for this post Melanie! I’ve been reading your blog for years, but this is the best post that I can remember! (But don’t lose the snarky commentary on the day-to-day stuff either.) I read it this morning and made a note to re-read before I made a comment. I couldn’t agree with you more. Living in Grand Rapids, home of Mars Hill Biible Church and Rob Bell, this has been the discussion in the news and churches for the last couple of weeks. Non-Christians are eating this stuff up! There are so many points in your post that I identify with. Thanks again.

  164. Wonderfully said. I spend the majority of my life in a rebellion with God too. A specific event turned me around, but with that faith in God did not come knowledge, so I became a “judger.” I thought that everyone who didn’t love God the same way I did was evil and going to Hell. I argued and condemned until I felt full of hatred. That’s when I realized that I had not, in fact, found God at all. I changed my ways, stopped judging, and starting loving. My life turned around quickly and I was happy. Now I spend my life loving, not condemning. Three amazing quotes I live by are:

    “Preach the gospel at all times, use words when necessary.” – St. Francis

    “He who does not love, does not know God, for God is Love.” – I John 4:8

    “Religion is like a giant mountain. There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone else that his or her path is wrong.” – Hindu Philosophy of Religion

    Thank you for speaking on this subject. I really enjoyed reading it.

  165. Thank you for your direct honesty about how we are to love our fellow believers. Some times we forget to love, because we are wrapped up in our own troubles ans worry. Thank you for the great and gentle reminders.

  168. Wow! Thanks for this post. I “amen” it also and pray that God increases my love for Him and others and grows bigger to me each year!

  169. I’m loving this! You are so right about everything. He is our wonderful Father, He is bigger than big! I can’t wait until we get to see Him. I’ll never forget a pastor once said, “we need to stop being religious and start being spiritual.” I love that! Thanks for your post.

  170. Yes! Let our lives be spent cultivating generous community, living out gentle humility, and giving water to a thirsty Christ.

  172. You just made me cry. Excellent blog post today Melanie and I needed to hear it. Thanks doll and I hope you have a wonderful week!

  173. Melanie, This post reminded me of Gandhi’s quote (which I’m sure I will misquote but went something like): “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” I, too, see so much cannibalism within our own faith, and it saddens me to no end.

    And I must know: are you surprised to see so many more comments on this post than a regular Fashion Friday? 😉 I love all of your posts, regardless of content.

  179. Thanks for sharing this. I’ve been thinking the same thing for a long time, and it’s nice to know that yes, my relationship with Jesus is going to be different from everyone elses, and yes, it’s ok!

  182. Absolutely, sister! Love it!! This needs to be “copied” and “pasted” everywhere around us:-) Don’t anyone try to box up my Jesus, He just doesn’t fit in a box…He’s SO MUCH BIGGER MY HEART AND MY MIND CAN’T EVEN GRASP. Love love love. Thank you <3

  183. My blog (Finding Him Bigger) is named after this C.S Lewis quote. It is my favorite quote in all of his writings. You explain it beautifully, and so much better than me. I think I’ll link to it:)

  184. I’ve never read your blog before but by the sound of the little yellow jacket I’ve been missing out ;o)

    However I just want to say I LOVE this post.
    What a refreshing way to look at it all. And so honestly open.
    God isn’t the same for all of us because we all need different things.
    Thanks again for sharing this. I’m totally going to share it on my FB page!
    Blessings,
    Leanna

  187. I am the scorned, but I am sitting with Aslan and He is SO BIG. Thank you for this post. (oh, and keep me posted on the yellow jacket.)

  192. Amen! My husband and I have been convicted lately of having critical spirits, and you’re right, if we all just got off our high-horses and instead focused on sharing the gospel with those who are lost, we would all be so much happier. It’s so easy to point the finger, but being critical actually makes us miserable inside.

    And you know what, I love your blog because it is light-hearted and happy. I found some blogs the other day that were very popular and I didn’t even want to read them because they were just so negative, I don’t need that in my life. I just need a laugh from you. 🙂

    And those verses from 2 Peter are powerful. I have them taped in one of my cupboard doors and I read them when I feel like yelling at my kids. After I read them I don’t feel like yelling anymore. Funny eh? (Yes I’m Canadian)

    Thanks again!

  197. loving this post.
    not sure which part of love the best, the most right part or the prince caspian at the end.
    this was way better to read than a cute yellow jacket. even on sale.

  199. In an atmosphere of accusations and attempts to bring in more and more blog traffic by mentioning the most recent christian cerfluffle, this is a refreshment. Without pointing fingers, you bring a gentle reminder that we are not to eat each other. Having typed that, it seems a reminder given only to children but one so timely to ones who are acting the part of spoiled favorite child. We all have His love so laviously poured out on us, haven’t we a bit to share with our siblings?

  200. Amen, amen, amen, amen, and amen! I don’t know if you’re “the most right” (haha… I liked that part especially… Christianity is not a competition!) but you just hit the nail on the head, sister! Thank you for sharing that with us. You just encouraged and challenged the socks off of me:)

  201. Jesus loves me! this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
    It really is that simple.
    Bless you Melanie. And thank you for the reminder.

  202. Well said, well said! That is all my feelings wrapped into all your words! Thank you for putting it out there, it made my heart feel warm and fuzzy!!! Big hugs

  203. So beautifully said Melanie. Thank you for this. You made me cry and say “amen.” That’s such a good thing.

  205. Came over from sweet Ann’s blog.. no one need be a theologian or bible scholar to understand love. Love is like a hurricane, it sets off a domino effect, love and love grows. It just happens naturally. 🙂

  208. I’ve noticed this for some time, and it saddens me. I know more people would want the Jesus we have if some Christians didn’t do so much to make Him harsh and unattractive to a watching world. (But God loves them, too!)

  209. If this isn’t your usual, maybe you can pick up your pen in this area again.
    a MUCH NEEDED message in a hurting world. You can PREACH IT SISTAH!
    Amen amen amen

  210. Ah! You spoke the words of my heart, dear sister! A BIG HEARTY AMEN!

    I’ve pondered and meditated on this verse a lot….for this is why in the first century thousands were added to the Church and they were a marvel, because of their unity–Jew and Greek, male and female, rich and poor, master and slave…..

    “I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou has sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” ~John 17:23

    May we show the world something great by our oneness in Him….*not* by being right.

    Now I don’t need to blog about this–I’ll just link to yours! 🙂

    Blessings, dear sister!

    ~Trisch

  211. I love your funny posts, I love your fashion posts, but I also really love these real posts (no energy to think of a good “f” word to make it alliterated).

  212. Thank you for this. Well written and an important reminder to all of us! God bless you.

  213. What an awesome post! I read your blog every day and enjoy it a lot. I laugh with you and love your wit – but this post is the best ever. You are so right! Thanks for reminding us!

  215. Well said Melanie! I’ve been reading much firestorm on the blogs lately and I’ve been feeling the same conviction as you. We are all in need of mercy and grace. To be a Christian is to exemplify Christ. Thank you for writing this. A great reminder.

  217. my mind has been going around this same exact concept. great post.
    I don’t want to serve a God I can wrap my head around… He’s so much bigger than my head. Well, most days 😛

  218. Oh, how very grateful I am to Ann for listing this post along with Scripture relating to her post and her book. I, too, have read things this weekend that broke my heart and left me speechless and comment-less for God did not create us to use our tongues in ways I read from Christians.

    (# 2275 … for this post: “Love Never Fails” @ Big Mama … in a world of Christians against other Christians this post is a gift, a post about love, one to return to again and again, in season and out of season.)

    I say Amen and Amen to you, dear sister in Christ. Being made in His image, I truly want to reflect Him. I make my share of mistakes, and have been on some of your paths and other: denial, anger, lost, straying, etc. Yet, I am His now, and always will be. I want to live in His love and, as the Word says, “but have not love, I am nothing.” Love is Who He is and He created us to love for He loved us first.

    James 3 speaks of the tongue. Our tongues, these days, can be typing words instead of speaking, but the intent can be the very same. A friend taught her 4 year old about the tongue but writing the word “W O R D” on a piece of cardboard. Then she asked him to take the tube of toothpaste and trace the word. After he was through, she asked him to put the toothpaste back in the tube. He looked at the hole and the paste and said, “Mommy, I can’t.” She then talked with him about not being able to put words back in our mouths once they have been spoken. That we must be careful and thoughtful before we speak. Words can hurt. Words can lie. For a child, that is a wonderful lesson. For an adult, I have never forgotten it either and the words not only lie or hurt, but they cause others to speak or type without thinking either.

    LORD, hold our tongues and give us Your wisdom. Teach us Your ways. Direct our paths. Guide our tongues that we would speak in love and gentleness and peace. Teach us to forgive completely. Lord, we stumble, yet You pick us up if we allow You to. May I be one who asks for Your help in all my ways. May they be Your ways as I grow in my walk with You. Your daughter, ~ linda

    Hallelujah to the King.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  219. Praise Jesus!!! Thank you so much for writing what I have been thinking for years! Keep spreading Chrisitan love, because without love where would we be?!

    God Bless You,

  220. AMEN. Beautiful, Melanie! And I just watched Prince Caspian (again) yesterday and was moved by the very scene that you quoted from the book. I want my God to keep getting bigger too.

  222. Wow!!!! How convicting. I enjoyed reading it and it has blessed me. I feel like I should come back to this over and over again. What a blessing!

  223. Amen and amen again…

    The only way this is going to change is if we change — one person, one loving act at a time. Thank you for leading the line!

  228. Oh wow. You said everything that has been on my heart for the past few months, and you said it perfectly. Thank you for this post!!

  229. I’m a little late to the comments party – but, what a great blog today — something many of us needed to hear, i think!

  231. You just gave me the CHILLS girl! AMEN!

    My favorite part: “But here’s what I do know. I do not want to serve a God who fits into my limited understanding. I don’t want to serve a God who can be completely explained in the human realm. I want a God that is so much bigger than me that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to know Him more, love Him more, and serve Him better.”

  232. Well, I first read this post at my clinical site this morning, and commented. It was on my mind all day. When I got home, I checked it again, and noted two things: I did not see ONE negative comment, and the number of comments left is about quadruple what you have had in the last 5 days of so! That’s about as positive a response as can be had, right? I’m fixin to read it again! And thank you again! My church, which has been my heart practically my entire life has spent a year in turmoil due to the interfering of Satan through a former pastors wife. It has been a nightmare. We are coming out on the other side, but it’s still scary. Keep up the good work!

  234. SAY IT SISTER!!!!! Just look at the number of comments – you have hit a NERVE, and you are sooooo right!

  235. This brought me to my knees. Thank you. I needed to see that. I hope that you don’t mind, but I facebooked the link. And if, perchance, a seeker of a yellow jacket stumbled upon this post, I think that they probably got an even better treasure…I am so thankful for our loving God.

  236. This. Was. AWESOME! I LOVE everything about what you wrote. There is no part of it that I don’t agree with. You hit on the very personal struggles that we have as individuals and the big struggles that groups of Christians have with each other. I have so many favorite parts. I will be reading this again and again. THANK YOU!

  239. Amen, preach on, Sister Mel! Seriously, thank you for sharing your heart and for allowing God to use you to reach your internet sisters and lost friends today. You reminded me of a brand-new sister in Christ who just started attending church with us in December for the first time in her life and has recently accepted God’s grace. She knows almost nothing of the Bible, but is hungry to learn and to be embraced in God’s loving arms. She is reading and praying and seeking answers and striving to learn God’s word and she as a baby Christian is demonstrating how we all should seek our holy, loving Father, so much more than so many of us who strive for theology and service and forget the heart of being a follower of Christ. If we could all have that great passion often found in new believers combined with the maturity of embracing God’s love for so long, we would not have these ugly debates and painful responses.

  240. Struck a cord, did you? I have been thinking about this post and just read the comments. I think we would all agree that the petty fights of the flesh are hurtful to the body. I would hope we could agree also that there are some lines that need to be drawn in the sand, so to speak. Some disagreements that have to be had, keeping in mind, that even those disagreements can be and should be handled in love. Rebuke and corrrection are to be used to point back and restore a brother or sister to Christ. Not to stand over and gloat how right we were. Have I always? Nope. Do I hope to do better? Yes. The older I get, the more I realize I can’t fully fathom the love and grace of Christ and God. What I do get is that Jesus Christ is the only way. So, Barbara , I agree with you:) And Big Mama….I agree with you:)

  241. I see you’ve found yourself in my comments section;) J/K.

    You are so right [because God is never wrong], true love is incapable of failure. Unfortunately (but not surprisingly, God warned us), true love looks foreign and crazy to this world that needs it so badly. Is is possible to love God so deeply that you smile at controversy (when it’s aimed at you), and answer silently with the love of the Father and eyes that shine, “Wait a minute…watch me live and you’ll see Jesus.”? I hope so. It’s my one true goal right now.

    Sorry, I know that was kind of a rabbit trail from your post!

    Thanks for a beautiful words.

    Sorry I don’t comment, much. I read, though:)

  242. You make me laugh on a daily basis BUT it was so good to hear this part of your voice. We are IN this together even though we look different, see different and sometimes even feel different. Our common demoninator is Jesus! Praise the Lord that He is it – cause if it was up to us we would bring the drama and ruin it!
    Keep singing sweet sister!!

  245. I don’t think I have ever commented, despite years of reading. But this left me in tears. I am right there with you.

  246. I don’t know if you’ll get to post 244, however if you do – you are incredible. I have been feeling terrible jealousy and awful thoughts for probably 4 days, and this post meant more to me than anyone’s advice could. Thank you so much.

  247. Wow!! This a wonderful post. This is exactly what I was talking with my sister about last week. The end made me tear up. I read Prince Caspian soooo long ago and now I will have to go back and read it!!

  249. My sweet young friend – you say you’re not a Biblical scholar, but you nailed this post. I’ve been a pastor’s wife just a few months shy of 34 years, and I’ve seen all kinds of “church folk.” This I know: love is the more excellent way and His Grace is still AMAZING. Thank you for this good word. I have a new Hebrew-Greek study Bible too. Wish we lived closer to each other and maybe we could figure out all the signs/symbols together. Or talk Melissa Fitzpatrick into tutoring us…

    Loved your C.S. Lewis quotes and I sure don’t want a “You Were The Most Right Plaque” either…but I’ve met some folks who think they’re getting one, but you know, I love them too because “love is the more excellent way” and His Grace is Still AMAZING!

    Love you,
    GA Jan

  250. Wow..that’s all I can say! I have had such a weird day today and I really needed to read something like this! I am now your newest follower and I am excited to read more!!

  252. Needed to read this today, Thanks for the chops-busting. At least I read it before I was stupid…. in my actions, at least. 🙂

  254. I only wish I’d written this, because you said what has long been on my heart! WELL said, sister in Christ.

  257. I, for one, am so glad you didn’t write about the yellow coat. It made me think about when I was in France and went to mass(I am Catholic and am a bit tired of people hating on that).The entire sermon and service was in French, but the love and worship were so strong and connecting. Isn’t it the same thing-doesn’t matter if it’s French or English, Protestant or Catholic… God is present for all of us.

  258. I have lurked on your blog for a couple of years. I love your fashion advice. I loved this post. I hope it’s okay that I shared the link on my fb page, as I think you hit the nail on the head, sort of speak.
    Amen Sister!

  259. Great post! I was just talking to some friends last night about this very thing. Also love the Prince Caspian quote at the end!

  260. I’ll need to come back and read that again now and then…truly beautiful! Thank you for reminding us that our God is Greater, Higher and more Powerful than anything our feeble human minds can comprehend.

  261. Well. That was excellent. I’m a little late to the comment board, but I’ll be thinking about this one for a while. He does keep getting bigger.
    Way to go my blog friend.(Though you don’t know me :-))

  262. This is a most amazing and beautiful post. Thank you so much for writing it! And I see from the number of comments that a LOT of people have read it. That’s so fantastic.

    As a person who suffers from chronic clinical depression, I know all too well how we Christians often judge each other. I get so tired of people saying that, if I was walking closely enough with the Lord, I would be a joyful person and the depression would magically blow away. Wish it worked like that!

    So I’ve thought about this subject a lot (sadly because I am guilty of judging, too), and as a result I wrote a story that includes the judgment of well-meaning Christians in the plot. It’s actually written as a story/blog. I honestly don’t mean to sound like a blog-self-promoter, but if anyone is interested in it, you can check it out here: http://caddiemurray.wordpress.com/ … I would be interested in hearing what people think.

    Anyway, yeah, I love this post and I’m going to put it up on my facebook wall. Thanks for being brave enough to write it!
    Stacy Aannestad

  265. Wow. I used to come here all the time, but blogs began to overrun my life, and I haven’t been here in a while. I obviously need to start visiting regularly again. Angie from Bring the Rain posted a link to this post, and when she said “Mel” I was hoping it was you. :<) Girl. You speak my heart. And this was brilliant: "But I know from watching my friends with multiple children that they have unique relationships with each of those kids based on their personalities and their gifts. They talk to their kids differently and show them how they love them in ways that speak to that child." I absolutely believe that God cast himself as Father so that we could relate, both as parent and as child. Such a simple concept, but you nailed it so perfectly that it will echo in my mind for quite a while. You might want to send P and Caroline away a little more often, and does it strike you as at least a little ironic that they went to the ranch to "set some things on fire"? Girl, the real fire happened at YOUR house…

  266. I appreciate this post.
    Unless something is clearly scripturally wrong…we should err on the side of grace.
    I’m like you…my walk has been a process…God slowly showing me blind spots, slowly revealing His will…for me…not for everyone…but for me.
    Love is long-suffering and patient.
    Love trusts that the Holy Spirit is real and that He can work in the hearts of Christ’s followers in His timing.
    And it may be my heart that needs changing…
    Not “theirs”

  267. Thank you so much for this lovely post!

    I am usually a lurker but feel that I must comment on this. This is somethng I believe we all have wanted to say at some time or another in our journey of life and Faith and you have done a superb job articulating these thoughts and feelings. You truly are an example of using the gift of writing that God has bestowed upon you.

    I have always been somewhat in awe of those that seem so sure of God’s word and intent. I applaud them in their firm sureness, but while God isn’t speaking directly to me like he seems to to them, he does show me everyday his mercy and his Grace simply because I am me. I think often in the dialogue people lose sight of the fact that while intertwined, religion and Faith are two different things. I was taught to show my ‘faith by deed, not words’ and so far that has served me well as I plod through this walk of Faith and life. I hope I never stop questioning, learning and sharing about this awesome God that is a loving and merciful Father. I hope I can continue to show others through my actions and deeds how much he loves us and that he is always good and he is always great. I wholeheartedly agree there will be no plaques when we get to heaven. Besides, it is Grace and Grace alone that gets us to heaven a fact that people seem to forget or ignore.

    You are a delight to read everyday and your P and Caroline are lucky to have you in their lives.

    Blessings to you and yours.

  269. I think this is a wonderful post, as so many others have commented…I’m going to leave a more lighthearted comment. 🙂 I love Lucy and would love to be like her…she always sees Aslan first. How special is that?
    I referenced the Chronicles of Narnia (Voyage of the Dawn Treader) in my post tonight. Is it C.S. Lewis day?

  270. Your BEST post ever!! Could not agree more. So proud of you for posting this. I love your transparency, also. You used your beautiful gift of words to bring glory to our amazing Abba Father and I know He is sp proud of you.

  271. Sister , oh how you spoke my heart today!! I have been held by that message of selfless love for a year now and I say Amen and Amen to all you posted. You said what I wished I could have put into words like you did and I am so blessed tonight by them. Praise the Lord who is too big to know fully this side of the Jordan!! Oh how we need to fathom even a aspeck of His vast love for us to be able to love ore another in His name and with His love. You spoke well girl!

  272. Well said. I consider myself Christian as I was raised Catholic. I believe that there are many spiritual paths and that there is room for all of them in this world. God has spoken to each of us in whatever “language” we’ll best understand to be closer to Him and to do good in this world, to everyone not just those who share our same spiritual beliefs in the exact same way. Thanks for talking about this!

  274. Your stories and fashion tips are engaging but today’s post was extraordinary! I read it early this morning and I’m still thinking about it late tonight. And, while the yellow jacket posts and stories of Caroline and daily life are welcome, your insight into today’s subject is truly appreciated. I agree with the others…Preach it! : )

  275. Amen! We have become too much all about trying to define, understand and contain…a God that is way bigger than anything we
    can dream up! And i am SO glad that He is!!

  276. Oh Melanie- What an encouraging post. Your heart for God, and unity, and the Gospel are so very present. But I can’t help but notice there are only 2 (yes, I read them all) comments disagreeing. While I can say Amen to so much of your post, I must disagree that all of “this” is silly debating or nit picking. Those who preach God’s word and lead God’s people will be held accountable for what they preach. And the Bible warns us of those that preach a “gospel” that is no Gospel at all. Unfortunately, history is repeating itself. We saw this during the reformation when churches were straying from the truth of God’s word. We see it today. There are those who are straying from the word… picking and choosing which parts of scripture they want to believe. Denying parts of God’s word that are so clear.

    I believe that God’s word is not only inherent but also sufficient. Unfortunately there are people (and not just Bell) who are preaching and teaching a very false Gospel… one that denies the atonement of Christ, one that questions the existence of hell, that ignores clear commands in scripture, that suggests perhaps Jesus didn’t mean there is no way to the father except through Him.

    These people will be accountable for misleading God’s people.

    So, while many are saying “we cannot know the mind of the Lord” — No, We CAN know exactly what he tells us in his word. Can I know why I lost a baby? Why it rained on my wedding, why there are dying children in Africa? No, I cannot know the mind of the Lord and cannot be his counselor. That verse is about trusting what God DOES, not questioning what God has clearly said in His word.

    I love your blog Melanie. And I don’t think you are spewing out lies and mistruths. I think you are passionately sharing your deep heart for God and God’s people. But I just disagree that these are christians just tearing each other apart. I believe christians must stand up for truth, God’s word, and God’s clear and life saving Gospel. So that all men might clearly see the truth in God’s word see their deep sin, and their need for a Savior. That they would see that the only hope is in Christ Jesus, that they would turn from their sin, and put their faith in Christ’s atoning sacrifice for them on the cross. And in that faith and repentance, have eternal life!

    I am thankful for men like John Piper, and the Together for the Gospel group, and Gospel Coalition (both groups made up of numerous denominations that come together FOR the Gospel) who boldly stand up for God’s word and for it to be boldly preached to a perishing world.

    Thank you friend for a thoughtful and heart felt post.

    • Well said, Carrie. Thank you for sharing that – it’s exactly what I was thinking as well.

      • I agree, Carrie. While we need to speak the truth in love, we do need to speak the TRUTH. There is but one way – through Jesus Christ.

    • Thanks for your thoughts, Carrie.

      I just want to clarify that what I was referring to was the nitpicking and inconsequential other things that we argue over instead of covering each other with love. I would never debate or disagree with the Reformation or the need to make sure what is preached from the pulpit is spiritually sound. I just think we can do it covered in love for our brothers and sisters instead of with harsh words.

      And I also want to clarify that the purpose of this post has nothing to do with the Rob Bell issue. I know there’s some controversy there but to be honest I haven’t really followed the whole story. This post was really meant to be about the petty things we argue about as fellow Christians, not an argument that we should allow teaching that isn’t Biblically sound.

      Thank you!

      • Thanks for your kind response. I wavered over commenting, but felt the need to. I totally agree that differences can be present, and respected while all are honoring the True Gospel Message. Worship with a band or an organ? A huge screen with smoke and lights, or stained glass. Suits and pearls, or jeans and cowboy boots. Even more important issues like baptizing infants vs adults. We can respectfully disagree while still “linking arms” in love for the Gospel. But for me… when that like minded brother or sister starts to stray from the Gospel and the word of God, that is where I will draw the line and say that we are like minded no more.

        There are plenty of “professing” Christians who Love God, but do not love what God’s word says. There are plenty of sincere people, who are sincerely wrong.

        But arguing over petty things, and rude name calling? Certainly Uncalled for, and not the spirit of Unity at all.

        Thanks for clarifying. And for such a kind and gracious response

  277. Love this. You preach it, girl! 🙂 One of my biggest pet peeves is Christian in-fighting. Thanks for the reminder that the Lord loves me uniquely and individually. Needed to hear that again. 🙂

  278. I love your post today. I so needed to hear this and to be reminded that our journey with God is our personal journey.

    Thank you for sharing!
    diane

  281. If you have not read it yet, you should read a book called “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan. It speaks towards the same lines as this post.

    It is so easy for us to get caught up in our own little lives. And knowing that something is missing, we replace the real work of the Holy Spirit in our lives with all this intellectual spiritualism. Which invariably causes these debates to prove which one is the most spiritually intellectual, or the most intellectually spiritual.

    And all the while the world around us dies while crying for a savior.

    And Jesus weeps.

    Cody

  283. Hello sweet Big Mama,
    What a wonderful post. I came over from Angie Smith’s blog and so glad that I did. There are deep truths in this well-written and poignant post. Thank you for this.

    Have a Blessed day,
    Dawn

  285. I linked to this from Angie Smith’s blog and I was so blessed to read it. My heart ached to write about this very subject a couple of weeks ago – I did blog about it, but feel that it didn’t do justice to the message that God was speaking so clearly to me. However, yours did! and for that I’m thankful! God is moving hearts towards His, to love like He does and I know that He will be glorified in this message.
    A new friend,
    Sarah

  289. Thank you Carri and Big Mama. I read this post and stewed on it all night long. While I loved the message, something just didn’t sit well in my soul and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Carri, you nailed it with what you said about truth. We cannot let go of truth. We cannot accept what is false, even in the name of love. And thank you Big Mama for clarifying your stance. It all sits much better now.
    And the way you two lovingly discussed it proved your point entirely. It can be done!
    Bravo to both of you!

  292. That is coming true in our lives that we are finding God bigger in a particularly difficult situation.

  293. PERFECT.

    We are reading Prince Caspian, too and totally just read that passage last night! My husband and I have been talking about what “salvation” looks like for kids. And I think parents get caught up in kids saying “the prayer” and just looking like an adult in their experience with God. But the thing is, kids have an experience with Him on THEIR level. And it will be as FULL as a 4 year old, but on a 4 year old level. Then when they are 8 it will be just as full but on an 8 year old level. And I pray, with you, that God is bigger to me when I am older than He is now. That I am always seeing NEW and MORE and DEEPER than when I first met him.

    Thank you for a gorgeous post!
    a

  294. I have been reading your blog for a while now and I think this is the best post I have read yet. Usually you make me laugh but today you made me proud to know a God so big and wonderful. Thank you for expressing how I feel so much better than I could.

  296. And all God’s people said AMEN!!!!!!!

    Girl when you decide to get deep, you really get deep. This is so very true. May we all strive to be someone that this lost and dying world would want to be like. Not a picture of strife and confusion.

  297. All I can add is Amen! I am currently in a Bible Study written and taught by Priscilla Shirer, “Jonah – A Life Interrupted”. What a blessing! I certainly have been in every place you described and know that His grace can never be outran nor outdone! I am so thankful that he never gives up on me!

  299. A timely word…

    Thank you for this. Thank you. You have spoken to my heart, you have spoken truth into my life. I needed this in so many ways.

  300. Well, hallelujah and AMEN, Sister. Thanks so much for this wonderfully right-on post. This is one I need to print and share and post on my mirror and remind myself of its powerful truth every minute of every day. I’ve lived longer than your 39 and the last half of my years has been spent in church ministry and this is one of the single most difficult conundrums of our frail, faulty attempt to be and do church together. May we always seek grace and live love, giving each other room to be unique individuals, created by a loving and highly creative God. Just terrific – thanks so much!

  301. Dear Big Mama, perhaps this post was all the more powerful because it is a departure from the kinds of (charming & fun) pieces you usually write. And, of course, you didn’t mean we shouldn’t take truth seriously and pretend we never disagree. You never said that. But you spoke to the deepest and highest calling for us as Christians, which is to love. It is impossible to deny that from Scripture. It is used by the world as the measuring stick of our authenticity. We are to love God and love others. God said so. Jesus said so. It is a command that is not fenced nor restricted and comes with no exceptions or loopholes. And it is also impossible—unless we recognize our weakness and fall upon Christ for the grace He alone supplies.

  302. Well said. As I learn and grow my God does get bigger and bigger. Never heard it said the way you did. Congratulations.

  305. As believers we are told to “speak the truth in love.” I think there are times when speaking the truth is wrongly viewed as unloving among Christians. On the contrary, the person who loves you the most, is the person who speaks the most truth to you.

  306. Very well said. So often satan (i believe) loves seeing Christians battle it out over the irrelevant when we are missing the most important fact. Time wasted arguing over the insignificant when we could be building relationships with the lost and showing them the love of the best Dad ever. Christians do eat their own and it’s heartbreaking to watch as it drives so many from Christ.

  307. You totally said what I’ve been thinking only much better than I could say or think it. Linking this on FB! Was really unimpressed w/my own preacher’s response to RB (and we’ve been known to watch a Nooma vid on a Wed night in lieu of sermon)

  308. This is my first stop by your beautiful blog and I don’t mind at all that it wasn’t about a yellow jacket(yellow isn’t really my color, anyway). : )

    This was beautifully said. God glorifying. Church-unifying. A needed word.

    Thank you!

  309. WOW. I “know” of Big Mama of LPL fame, but this is the first time I’ve ventured here. (Thanks, Robyn, for the link.) I’m copying this one into a word document to print, save and reread again and again. Just WOW.

  311. Wow! And dang girl you are right!! So much I wanted to highlight but that would have been the whole blasted blog. Preach it sister. We gotta get over ourselves and just get to God. Keep it simple. I’m an elementary girl anyway. 😉

  313. You know one thing I love most about you, Melanie? I love the way you filet down to the base truth…no room for wiggle there. Also I love how you devotedly love. Jesus shines through your sincere and pure heart my sister. And you know…I am praying for you. It is am honor to call you friend.

  316. OK, I am in awe at how God works. Today I started a blog called He Is Bigger Than….!!! So I get it! I get what you are saying!!! I hear you that we can NOT put God in a box! I just found your blog and can’t wait to sit and read how He is getting Bigger! And I pray that I will find the same! Thrilled to follow along!

  318. So perfectly, precisely, passionately put! I recently read a book called “Spirituality for the Rest of Us” and it enlightened me to that very same thing…our Father’s relationship with us is as delightfully unique as we are! And He desires to relate to us in that uniqueness!!
    Preach it, sweet sista!!

  320. Stumbled into your blog today – God knew I needed to read it. My pastor husband and I are some of those who have been eaten a few times by our brothers and sisters in Christ. A year ago this week he resigned for this very reason. It’s God’s stubborn love that keeps us in the ministry. He has led us to another place of service. Starting over but keeping my eyes on Him; otherwise, I would be in the pit of despair. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂

  322. So glad to see you recognizing your long-standing rebellion, I believe when I repented of rebellion in the small ways it made my life so much more peaceful! And responsive to the Lord’s leading every step. It’s such a better way to live.

  323. oh my gosh, this post has more truth in it, than well…..i don’t know what i’m trying to say other than, man that was awesome.
    i wish you were my neighbor because whether you know hebrew , or greek, or how to use your new bible, i could learn much from YOU.
    & why do quotes from the narnia series about aslan always, & i do mean always, choke me up
    my crush on you burns even stronger today….
    & if you continue to talk about yellow jackets i will still love you
    but i realllllllllllly love it when you preach it sista!

  325. I just found your post through a blog I just found today through another blog I regularly read, and I am so incredibly delighted to have found it! I have a terrible time putting my thoughts into words that express exactly how I feel. I really think this post does that, not only for me, but for many others out there.

    I am also in the process of witnessing to several non-believers and feel this would be a great read for anybody, not just us that do believe!

    I do believe God brought me here today…

  327. This was inspirational great to remember that his love never fails!

    ” you stay the same through the ages, your love never changes, there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning! And when the oceans rage, I dont have to be afraid, because I know that you love me O lord! ”

    keep spreading the joy and love of God who makes all things work together for our good!

    Love from England

  328. I hope you can hear the loud “Amen” I just shouted here in Virginia. You are so right and I recently had my feelings hurt because someone was judging how I handled a situation. The sad thing is they don’t even realize how they came across.

    I think you are right that the older you are, the more you can let things go and you don’t judge folks. I find myself more that way.

    Thanks for a great post. I think we all need to hear this.

  329. Awesome post! I’ve been feeling a lot the same way recently! We so shoot ourselves in the foot by putting down other Christians! I linked this post on my fb wall, I liked it so well! Thank-you!

  330. Melanie – thank you so much for sharing. It’s been a crazy week, and I’m just now finding the time, uninterrupted, to read your post from Monday. This is something that we all need to hear and be reminded of. My husband and I just got home from an Ash Wednesday service a little while ago, where I was moved to tears as I received the ashes and thought about how unworthy I am of His grace and mercy. I prayed that this season of Lent will not be about giving something up, but will be more about strengthening my relationship with my Lord and Savor. Love and prayers that God will continue to bless you and your family.

  331. AMEN! As I like to say to those who want God explained so they can “understand” Him I say, “If I could explain God and you could wrap your head around it, He wouldn’t be God.” The reality of it is, if we could fully explain Him, we could be Him. Therefore, we can’t.
    So, I loved what you said: But here’s what I do know. I do not want to serve a God who fits into my limited understanding. I don’t want to serve a God who can be completely explained in the human realm. I want a God that is so much bigger than me that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to know Him more, love Him more, and serve Him better.

  332. //but He’s made me to be me. And He’s made you to be you//
    we r certainly different from each other but God wants us to be like Christ and one in Christ. That is the only main thing that God has put for us.
    Though there r many ways of understanding him, the final content due to understanding will be the same. Though we can’t completely understand him by our limited knowledge,he is willing to reveal himself to the extent we should know enough(to be like Christ): to those who seek him,to those who are thirst for him.

    • I had the same thought~the idea of “I must decrease,He must increase”~ becoming more and more like Christ. The process is meant to be Joy-filled though and our Redeemer knows just where we are now and how to get us where He wants us to be. The secret is that it’s all through the power of the Holy Spirit and not through our own striving…

  333. I can’t remember if I already posted. Especially since I have come back and read this post like 5 times. This is so powerful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

  334. Amen sister! You have put words to thoughts I have had for several years now. Thank you for posting!

  338. I stumbled upon this! Thank you so much. I think you have been reading my mind and I could not have said it better.

  339. Thank you for this post. It blessed me tremendously !We have a division in our church right now.It isn’t so much about theology(though I think it may be be the lack of it) as it is about personal conflict. We have a Hatfield / McCoy situation. Oh, how it must grieve the Saviour!As you read this please pray for reconciliation in the Body of Christ~everywhere.

  340. Amen! Would you believe that some friends and I were having that exact conversation on Wednesday? – -That unbelievers will be drawn to Christ when they see HOW WE LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!
    That conversation in Prince Caspian is one of my favorites, too. We just finished reading that book (for the second time!) about two months ago. What an amazing concept about God!
    Thank you for writing about this, even if it is “too serious.”

  343. Perfectly said! God created us all differently, different love languages, different spiritual gifts, different humor – while maybe I struggle with all these differences, I think God embraces them. After all, He created them. I think he can not only multi-task, but multi-love:)

  344. What a wonderful post. I enjoy reading your blog so much, intelligent commentary, great book recommendations (Half Broke Horses), HEB adventures, Caroline anecdotes, yellow jackets and all.

  346. I love this. Nicely written. I am also doing the Revelation study – although, I feel like most of what I’m learning is shooting straight over my head, but I’m praying that something stays in my little head!

  347. I’ve read your blog for some time now and you never fail to entertain, make me laugh, and occasionally cause me to turn my thoughts to the things of God. I love it all, but because I have had this overwhelming desire to know God better in recently months, this post of yours struck a deep chord within me. I read it when you wrote it, and I have come back to it as I’ve turned it over and over in my mind. It’s obvious that God has given you something to share. I love this thought. I also wonder what He’s up to in the future. Who knows? Perhaps in time He will reveal it to you. For now, it’s enough that He is using you where He’s planted you. Thank you Melanie for listening to His voice as He revealed Himself to you and for the thoughtful effort that I know it must have taken in getting it down in words just as you feel He wanted you to.

  352. I just happened onto you blog by way of Angie Smith’s Blog. I am so happy I clicked on that link!
    Your words are so true, so from your heart and so needing to be said in so many different places! Thank you so much for your honesty! I don’t think many “Christians” realize how much they hurt and cause damage to the very people who are searching for that “something bigger” (we know as GOD) that is missing in their lives. Then those searching run away because they don’t want to become the judgmental, unloving, people they see before them. I call this religious abuse. It is out there, it is real! I have experienced it first hand.
    Fortunately, I love the Lord with ALL my being! I know HIS grace is sufficient. I know that I am a whosoever and He loves me because He created me. He created me to praise Him in ALL things and that is what I will do.
    I’m going to put a link to this post on my blog. There are so many who could benefit from this!