Remember the other day when I mentioned that Gulley and I had gone shopping and inadvertently ended up in the bathing suit section?
You probably don’t remember because why would you need to remember some meaningless detail of my life? And I totally understand. I personally wish I could forget the entire incident.
But it is burned in my brain because it’s the moment the reality of DANG, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT A SWIMSUIT THIS SUMMER set in.
Anyway, none of that is really the point. The point is that the whole experience led Gulley and I to have a discussion about things we should be doing to make ourselves healthier and look better as we approach forty years old.
And, honestly, the “look better” portion of that equation weighed much more heavily because I guarantee with 100% certainty that not one person watched the Royal Wedding and thought, “MAN, I bet Pippa Middleton has phenomenal cholesterol levels.”
Then, last week, Oprah had Bob Greene on her show and the whole thing was about being twenty years younger. I really haven’t consistently watched Oprah in years but I’ve been sucked in by the last season because I don’t want to miss anything. I end up deleting most of them from my DVR because, contrary to popular belief (I’m looking at you, P) I don’t have much time on my hands to just lie on the couch and watch T.V. However, the Bob Greene thing totally sucked me in for almost ten minutes before I deleted it because who wouldn’t like to turn the clock back twenty years?
Of course, for me, I could accomplish that by drinking too much Zima and dancing with no rhythm to an MC Hammer song. Which might be preferable to eating a plateful of steamed broccoli.
Bob Greene talked about the importance of nutrition, exercise, skin care and something else that I can’t remember right now and so let’s hope it wasn’t that important. And then Oprah talked about her skin care regimen. I think she exfoliates with diamonds or something. Bottom line is I don’t believe the Oprah skin care regime is in the Big Mama budget. I bet it’s more than $15.00.
But here’s what I’ve been doing lately.
1. Using Aveeno Daily Brightening Face Scrub every day followed by Oil of Olay Regenerist Moisturizer.
2. Trying to eat more vegetables and fruits even though they don’t taste like chocolate chip cookies. Also, drinking a ton of water. Sparkling water, still water, tap water. Water. I add lime because I am very fancy.
3. Dry brushing my skin because it’s supposed to be good for your lymphatic system or something. I don’t really know, but it’s supposed to make your skin glow or eliminate toxins or something.
4. Taking a range of vitamins and essential minerals. Those Flintstone vitamins are delish. I’m just kidding. I’ve actually been taking Evening Primrose Oil (good for hormones, skin and heart), One A Day multi-vitamin with green tea extract for boosting metabolism, Vitamin D, and Calcium supplements.
I’m just a step away from carrying around one of the plastic day-of-the-week pill containers like my Pa-Pa used to have.
5. Doing some form of exercise on a semi-regular basis. I haven’t been as good about this as I need to be, but I’m vowing to resume with enthusiasm on Monday.
And so I’m wondering if any of these things really make a difference. Or is there something you do that makes a difference? Is there some fountain of youth I need to be aware of in the form of a bottle of something I can purchase?
Or is the key to drink about four Zimas or a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill about once a week?