Last Wednesday night was the season finale of Friday Night Lights. I believe I may have mentioned this before, but Friday Night Lights is the best show on television. Honestly. And if you’ve missed it, then look for the reruns this summer and start watching. Please.
Because if it gets cancelled, I will fall into a pit of despair and depression.
Anyway, I was watching the season finale last Wednesday, and Coach Taylor’s wife found out she was pregnant. The nurse asked her, “Honey, do you want this baby?” and she said, “I prayed for this baby 12 years ago and then 11 years ago and then 10 years ago, and finally realized that God must have other plans”. The nurse looked her right in the eye and said, “Well honey, it looks like God changed His mind.”
And I started crying.
I started crying because I know how it feels to pray and to get an answer. I know how it feels to hope that God changes His mind. And the irony is, while I was watching that show, I had no idea what God was about to do.
Let me say before y’all get all excited that I am not pregnant. But I do have some news.
When Caroline was born, I was blessed to work for a company that gave me 6 months of maternity leave. That’s right. 6 months. But when that 6 months was up, I didn’t want to go back to work. I wanted to be home with my baby girl and I cried and bargained and prayed that God would allow that to happen.
And it didn’t.
I didn’t understand, but at the same time realized that I was blessed to have a job with flexibility and a husband who works from home so that we were able to juggle our schedules and make sure one of us was always with Caroline. We made it work and, in all honesty, I had days where I was relieved to be able to leave the house and go eat lunch at a restaurant that didn’t require me to take off my shoes before walking into the Playplace.
We adjusted. I accepted that this was what God had for me and I was okay with it, but in my heart my prayer remained the same.
Some of y’all may remember that back in February I had some things come up with my job regarding false accusations. If not, you can read about it here. I had to fly to Dallas for a big, scary meeting. Everything got cleared up, but my manager called me just this past Friday and told me that now they were looking at some other things and it would require another scary meeting, another trip to Dallas. The weird thing was that as she talked, I was perfectly calm.
Anyone who reads my posts on a regular basis knows how remarkable that statement is. I remained calm.
In fact, I remained so calm I wondered if I was having some kind of breakdown that was causing me to not properly compute information.
P got home and we talked about it. He asked me if I thought this was God’s way of pushing me to take a step of faith and resign from my job. He put into words exactly what I was feeling. I knew it was time to walk away.
When I think back to everything that has happened in our lives since the initial meeting in February, I am overwhelmed at how God has prepared the way for this next step. I found a great way for us to get affordable health insurance, P won the bid on a huge job providing extra income, and I am in the middle of working on some exciting things that I can’t talk about in detail quite yet.
It’s all come together in the right way, at the right time.
Friday night, P and I sat and talked about everything and couldn’t believe how at peace we feel with this decision. I cannot even convey how awed I am by God’s faithfulness and timing. If I had been able to stay at home 3 years ago, I wouldn’t have worked as hard to figure out what I’m passionate about. I know myself well enough to know that I need something that is mine, something I care about, and blogging has really helped me find it.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like everything is just perfect. One of the biggest perks of my job is a company car with insurance and gas, and that’s going away. The good news is that Gulley’s backseat can hold three carseats, so we’re going to be carpooling to the grocery store for awhile, which will basically take us back to our years in college when Gulley chauffered me around in her Pontiac Sunbird because my Honda CRX had doors that would no longer open from the inside.
There are only so many times you can climb in and out of your car like one of the Duke boys before you start looking for a better mode of transportation.
Anyway, with summer right around the corner, Caroline and I will spend most of our waking hours at the neighborhood pool which is within walking distance, and let’s be honest, is there a better motivator to spend some time walking than knowing you’re going to be wearing a bathing suit every day?
The thing is there are still some obstacles. P’s business is seasonal, so we’re going to have to figure out how to budget wisely. We’re praying about the car thing, because while I can do without for awhile, the reality is that at some point I’m going to need a car. In spite of figuring these things out, I am so overwhelmed at God’s perfect timing and provision. And even more than that, with the peace He has put in my heart that He will provide for us. He is faithful.
And I’m forever grateful that He changed His mind. I can’t wait to see where we go from here.
Plus, saving money at the grocery store will be no problem, seeing as how we have 600 pounds of elk meat in our deep freeze. I thought I was kidding about elk kabobs, sloppy elk joes, and elk tenders, but God knew we were going to be eating a lot of elk.