Friends

  • Old acquaintance would definitely be forgot if I don’t get my sleep

    I am fairly sure that this will be my last post of the year, unless something unbelieveably exciting happens, and as I think about the odds of that, I feel more than sure that this is it for 2006. I’d like to go out with a bang, but the odds for that aren’t looking great either.

    P and I have some good friends that have a gorgeous ranch down in South Texas. This is where P spends most of his weekends during hunting season and also where he killed the elk that has brought us hundreds of pounds in meat. Many years ago, it became New Year’s tradition to spend New Year’s Eve at the ranch.

    The guys would build a big bonfire and we’d all cook dinner, shoot off fireworks and just generally hang out. It was always a lot of fun and as the years have gone by the majority of the once single guys have acquired wives or at least significant others so the group has definitely grown in size. In fact, I think that around sixty people are expected this year.

    Part of this whole New Year’s experience includes staying up most of the night which in my pre-child days was great because I’d just sleep the next day. Now…not so much.

    The rest of the group doesn’t understand this because they haven’t yet had children. For them, sleep isn’t a premium luxury item, it’s just a day to day occurrence that they can do WHENEVER they want. Ahh, what sweet kids.

    I find some consolation in the fact that years from now, P and I will be the ones doing the sleeping while they will all be in the throes of the years of sleeplessness, otherwise known as it’s a good thing my kid is so cute because this is hell.

    Anyway, Friday night P and I went down to the ranch while Caroline spent the night with Mimi and Bops. The plan was that I would spend the night, leave the next morning and then come back with Caroline on New Year’s Eve so that we could spend the day together and all drive back later that night after dinner.

    We left for the ranch about 1:00 Friday afternoon. We had a great time. We hung out with friends, we hunted while sitting in a luxurious deer blind complete with padded, executive style chairs and M&M’s, and then headed back to the house for a great fajita dinner. Good times.

    At some point, however, it began to dawn on me that this crew was planning on staying up until all hours because none of them had to drive home and pick up a toddler the next day and then spend the rest of the day entertaining that toddler. And in a move that confirmed that I am, in fact, so far removed from being the life of the party at this stage of my life, I asked P what he thought about me driving home so that I could sleep in my own bed.

    Keep in mind that calling my name was not only my own bed, but a silent house that wouldn’t have anyone calling out for me in the wee hours.

    He agreed that it was probably a good idea because he knows that I value sleep above all else and therefore he values it for me because it makes his life easier. I bid everyone a fond farewell and explained I was going home to get a good night’s sleep.

    And also take some Metamucil and clean my dentures.

    I arrived home safe and sound, put on my favorite pajamas, and climbed into my fabulously, warm bed complete with clean sheets. And then, as if on cue, it started to rain outside.

    I’m telling y’all it was pretty close to my idea of what heaven must be like.

    So, this morning Caroline and I are headed back down there to spend New Year’s Eve, but I promise that we’ll all be home sound asleep in our own beds when the New Year actually comes in.

    Speaking of the New Year, I think my only resolution (since I don’t really make resolutions) is to try to eat better and factoring in how I’ve been eating throughout the holidays, it should be pretty easy seeing as how I can’t possibly eat worse.

    I’ll just show restraint and say things like “Oh no, please just six sugar cookies with a small side of toffee for me. I’m eating healthier in 2007.”

    I wish y’all a blessed 2007 full of great things. Thanks for reading and for all of your wonderful comments. I’ve loved getting to know so many of y’all during 2006.

    Happy New Year!

  • Wrappers’ delight

    This past weekend was a momentous occasion that only happens one time a year. Gulley and Big Mama’s Christmas Shopping Weekend complete with The Wrapping Par-tay (it must be pronounced just like the women on the Walmart commercial say it). And yes, it is capitalized because it is an event. For the last sixteen years, Gulley and I designate one weekend in December for an exclusive girls’ weekend where we complete all of our Christmas shopping and present wrapping.

    Usually we have the Christmas Shopping Weekend the first weekend of December, but since I had to be out of town because of my work at the bank, we had to find another weekend.

    And really, I’m not bitter about the bank ruining our weekend at all.

    So, at noon on Friday we headed out. Our first stop was at a local Mexican restaurant so that we could find shopping sustenance in the form of chips and queso. From there, we headed to our local outdoor shopping center because it was a lovely 75 degrees outside, just like in all the Christmas movies.

    We shopped all day and headed back to my house with a car full of packages. Being giddy with our freedom, we decided that we should go see a movie. I looked and realized that I had two $10.00 gift certificates to the movies, then Gulley realized that she also had $20.00 worth of gift certificates to the movies. I wondered aloud if they applied to just tickets or the concession stand also, so I turned them over and read that they applied to tickets AND concession items. Well, y’all would have thought we had just won the lottery.

    We headed to the theater, bought our tickets and still had over $20.00 in free movie money. So, we got in the concession line and debated between the small and large popcorn. We decided on two small diet Cokes (a bargain at $3.75 a piece, certainly no price gouging there) and a large popcorn because Gulley actually said, “I came to party this weekend. I even brought my Zantac.”

    Yes, we’re getting old.

    The movie of choice was The Holiday and I highly recommend it. We loved it, but be warned that it is a total girl movie. Do not make your husband see this movie unless he is a very sensitive type of guy. I know that P would have mocked the entire movie, which is why we never see movies together unless it’s something of real cinematic quality and importance like Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

    After the movie we went to an Italian restaurant and had some calamari and a glass of wine. We stayed out until after 10:30 p.m. Thank goodness for Zantac.

    On Saturday (after sleeping in until a delightful 9:30) we shopped, and shopped, and shopped some more. We also analyzed every topic from disciplining our kids, to the best fashionable shoe for a mama to wear to the park, to Britney Spears showing her cootie cat to all the world.

    We finished our day with a trip to the grocery store and loaded up on sufficient amounts of snack food for our wrapping par-tay. Let’s just say that we erred heavily on the side of carbs and processed sugars. In years past, we have been known to drink a little too much wine which results in the wrapping of the presents getting sloppier and sloppier. There have definitely been years where y’all could look under my tree and see the downward spiral of present wrapping quality.

    This year, however, we were task oriented and focused. We started wrapping at 8:00 p.m. and didn’t wrap the last present until 1:30 a.m. Fortunately for us, we had The Devil Wears Prada on DVD and Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live to help us. I can say that if I had missed JT dressed as a can of soup and singing “Soup, there it is”, it would have been one of the disappointments of my life. I’m laughing just thinking about it.

    In all seriousness, I treasure these shopping weekends and we look forward to it all year. Now that we have kids, it’s even more special to have this time together with no real responsibility. It’s one of my favorite Christmas traditions and one of the best parts is that now my tree has a plethora of lovely, wrapped presents under it.

    When Caroline got home yesterday, she ran to the tree and said “OH Mama, just look at all these beautiful presents!” Then we spent the rest of the afternoon performing this dialogue

    Mama, can I open a present?
    No, not until Christmas.
    Please, can I open one?
    No, not until Christmas
    When will it be Christmas?
    8 more days.
    Mama, can I open a present?

    Not right now, Mama has to go take a Zantac.

  • Wasting away again in margaritaville with Paula Deen, poopy pants and sugar cookies

    Tuesday night I went out with my girlfriends for what we call Birthday Club. We always go to the same Mexican restaurant, drink margaritas and laugh until we cry. We all brought a bottle of wine to exchange, which I have to say was a great idea. I find this time of year you can’t have enough wine in the house or maybe it’s just because I have a three year old.

    Anyway, last night we had a discussion about bad Christmas presents we have received in years past. Gulley won hands down with the jar of mayonnaise that she got from her mother-in-law one year. Expired mayonnaise. Seriously. A jar of expired mayonnaise.

    Nothing says welcome to our family like expired dairy products.

    Of course in all fairness, that was also the year her mother-in-law bought her own son a Polo shirt from the Ralph Lauren outlet and the sleeves were too short. When he told his mom the sleeves weren’t long enough, her response was that he should just keep his hands down by his side because then they might work.

    I can’t make this stuff up.

    We also covered a variety of other topics, including the Paula Deen episode where Paula is making iced gingerbread men cookies. Have y’all seen it?

    Paula is decorating these gingerbread men and decides to decorate one like her husband Michael. She says, “Y’all I’m going to make this one real hairy like Michael and he’s going to be wearing white shorts because Michael loves to wear his white shorts. He’s so sweet I’m just going to bite his head off” and then she cackles that cackle that only Paula can do.

    P walked in last year while I was watching it (because yes, I’ve watched it more than once…it’s oddly compelling) and said, “She is a nut.” And yes, she is. But she’s a rich nut that cooks great food.

    Then yesterday morning, Caroline and I went to run errands. We had an important list of things to do such as buy stamps so that I can mail Christmas cards that don’t even exist at this point. I’m not sure how I dropped the ball on this (really I blame the bank for making me travel the first week of December), but I realized late last week that I had neglected to order cards. When I finally started the process, I had two separate online stationery companies tell me they could guarantee delivery for December 28th, which would be okay if we celebrated Kwanzaa. Anyway, the third try was a charm and I should have some Christmas cards to mail out sometime before the new year. At least my stamps are ready to go. That’s what’s really important.

    We also had to run in Whole Earth to search for something containing acidophilous. To put it mildly and to help y’all keep your breakfast down, let’s just say that Caroline has had some intestinal distress over the last week. The pediatrician recommended sprinkling acidophilous powder on her food to help regulate her digestive system. And for the record, being regular isn’t necessarily the problem. But anyway, here’s hoping it works. I’ve actually thrown away four pairs of underwear in the last week.

    It was really the only option.

    In the afternoon, we went over to play with Gulley and her boys. I am beyond happy to report that the sugar cookie baking has officially started. Her countertop was covered in snowmen, christmas trees, and candy canes all just waiting to be glazed and sugared. The first bite of sugar cookie will be one of the highlights of my year.

    And I guess this is what motherhood does to you…in one post I went from drinking margaritas with my girlfriends to throwing away soiled underwear and eating sugar cookies.

    But not at the same time.

  • A little tutorial

    A couple of y’all have asked about Gulley. Back in the days when only two people read Big Mama, as opposed to the five or six of y’all who read now, I wrote this post that explains exactly who Gulley is. I wrote it early on because she has always been a central character in my life (or at least for the past 17 years) so I knew her name would come up. So for those of y’all who are recently joining the party that is Big Mama, now you know.

    Also, while Gulley isn’t her first name, it is what I have always called her. At this point in life no one else really knows her as Gulley, but old habits are hard to break.

    She is real though. Not a made up character. Although if I were to try and make up a character I couldn’t come up with one even half as good. If y’all spent an hour with her, I promise you’d leave with mascara running down your cheeks and more stories to tell than you can even imagine.

    And while we’re on the subject of characters in my life, tomorrow is Mimi’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mimi! We love you very much and hope you have a great day!

  • An update from Dallas and the antithesis of a high speed wireless connection

    Yes, I am still in Dallas. It has been more fun than y’all can imagine spending two and a half days going over things that could have been summed up in an email. A short email.

    But on the bright side, I got to eat dinner tonight with my dear friend Hite who took me to a fabulous restaurant called Hatties. He described it as “gourmet soul food” and let me tell y’all it was some of the best food I’ve ever eaten. Fried green tomatoes, meatloaf and macaroni and cheese that was so unbelievably good that I wanted to lick the serving bowl. Heaven in a bowl is what it was. I will think about it for days with fond remembrance.

    Oh yes, and the conversation was good too. Hite never fails to make me laugh and he told me a story tonight that left me with tears running down my cheeks. I’ll share it at some point, but he has pictures to send that will better illustrate. One of my favorite memories of Hite is the day of my college graduation when there was literally a tornado touching down in College Station and he looked at me and said “In spite of the wind, your hair is holding up beautifully”. It was a complete lie, but it made me feel better.

    The other bright spot is that the hotel where I’m staying is the hotel where I stayed with Gulley, Jen and our other friends every New Year’s Eve when we were in college and A&M played in the Cotton Bowl. There are so many memories when I look around the hotel and think about what fools we were, but one of the best is the year that we were having a little social get together in our hotel room at 2 a.m. the night before the game and there was a knock on our door. We opened the door and there stood our star running back whose room was right next to ours. Apparently, we were keeping him awake with our festivities so he came on in and joined the party.

    The next day, he fumbled the ball which essentially cost us the game. I’d like to think that we weren’t partially responsible, but I’m afraid we were. I have never admitted this publicly. In fact, as we sat eating our hot dogs in the stands that day, we vowed we would never tell anyone for fear of being outcasts.

    Fool is the word y’all are looking for.

    Anyway, later today I will be headed home to my people and for that I am thankful. I have my .25 cent Ziploc to safely tote my lipgloss on the plane. Honestly, the more I’ve thought about it, if someone wants to cause harm on a plane is a Ziploc snack bag going to stop them? My best guess is no.

    The best part is that if my flight is on time and there are no delays, I’ll be home in time to tuck my girl into bed tonight.

    And in other news, today is my Mama’s birthday. I won’t reveal her age because a lady never tells, but I wish her a wonderful day. Mom, I have a whole new understanding and appreciation of how many nights you went without sleep because “I couldn’t see” and other such issues. I am paying for my youth as an insomniac. I love you and hope you have a day filled with all good things.

  • Somebody get that cow a pillow

    Saturday night we went to a wedding. This was a big deal because it was the first real social event that Caroline has been invited to just as an attendee, not a flower girl. Our friends Cyndea and Shane got married and let me tell y’all that it was a beautiful wedding. She walked down the aisle to “Come Let us Adore Him” and there were Christmas lights everywhere. It was like a magic Christmas fairyland.

    If I had it to do over again I’d have a Christmas wedding, but 9 years ago when I was young and newly engaged there is no way in the world I’d have waited 4 more months just so a quartet could play Christmas carols as guests were seated. No ma’am, get me to the church and hurry, even though it meant tying the knot when it was 149 degrees outside.

    Caroline did a great job of being quiet during the ceremony thanks to the steady stream of Mike and Ike’s that I had stashed in my purse. Anytime she opened her mouth, I just popped in a Mike and Ike and it bought us 30 more seconds of silence. So a big thank you goes out to my friends Mike and Ike who were a tremendous help in bribing my child. Yes, I said bribing and not only do I not condemn bribing a child, I give it two thumbs up.

    Don’t judge me, she’s 3 years old and I live in a constant state of Don’t Anger It.

    After the outdoor wedding ceremony (why yes, it was very cold), we moved indoors for the reception. I was already wondering how I was going to convince Caroline to eat prime rib for dinner when I noticed that there was a buffet table set up for kids that consisted of chicken fingers and french fries. It was like someone had just given me a million dollars otherwise known as a dinner my child would actually eat. Kudos to the bride’s parents for supplying the country club version of a Happy Meal.

    I got her settled at the table with her chicken fingers and fries while P went to go find the adult food. She was thirsty and when they brought her water, it was in a glass goblet. She looked at it and said “Oh Mama, I get to drink wine too. Let’s say cheers!” So we clinked our water glasses together, said “Cheers”, and she looked at me with a french fry in her hand and said, “This is the life.”

    And so yes, she shares a large portion of my genetic makeup that does enjoy the finer things in life like beautiful weddings at fancy country clubs and eating chicken fingers without utensils while wiping your hands on your dress.

    After her meal was cut short by the arrival of wedding cake (and let’s be honest, why would anyone continue to eat anything of substance once there is cake?) she hit the dance floor. Our poor friend Erin made the mistake of volunteering to dance with Caroline, not realizing that Caroline’s signature move is to make you run around and around and around in circles as if she is trying to achieve lift off. For awhile we all stood around, watched them dance and made bets as to who would give us a another look at the wedding cake first.

    Pretty soon, she was joined on the dance floor by a group of little girls just about her size and they danced and twirled their little hearts out. Nothing makes a mama more proud than seeing her little one shake her booty as the band plays “Brick House”.

    Finally, when she was obviously about to collapse from exhaustion, we loaded her up to head home. She wanted me to carry her to the car and she was almost asleep before I got her in her car seat. I buckled her in and whispered “We partied ’til the cows came home.”

    P walked around the car and as he was starting it, this little tired voice said “Daddy, we partied until the cows went to bed.”

    Yes, we did.