Another day

  • I know what I’ll be doing this summer

    So, about a month or so ago, I received a very lovely email from a woman named Lysa Terkeurst who is the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, a speaker, and an author. She asked if there was a time we could speak on the phone and after I verified that she didn’t think she was emailing someone else, we arranged a conference call. She also invited Sophie from Boomama and Shannon from Rocks in My Dryer.

    Before the call I was very nervous because Proverbs 31 Ministries implied that I might need to wake before dawn and weave purple linen. In the interest of being completely honest, I usually refrain from doing either of those things. And if given the choice, I would probably prefer to weave purple linen as opposed to rising before the break of day.

    Also, while I pray that Caroline will one day rise up and call me blessed, just this afternoon after I had finished peeling an orange she told me to please get my stinky hands away from her because she felt like she might explode. As far as I know there is no reference to causing your children to explode in Proverbs 31.

    Anyway, the reason Lysa was calling was because she had been reading our blogs for the last few months and Proverbs 31 was considering adding a few sessions about blogging to their annual She Speaks Conference. She asked if Shannon, Sophie and I would be interested in leading these sessions.

    Okay. Wow.

    Sophie, Shannon and Lysa had a very articulate conversation about what these sessions would look like, while I made clever conversation about how I thought email would never take off. Fortunately, Lysa wanted me anyway. And I am so excited.

    I feel that I am totally equipped to instruct women how to get ON THE COMPUTER and start a WEBLOG, otherwise known among the hip and trendy set as a BLOG. Seriously, it makes you want to sign up right now, doesn’t it?

    I also may throw in some of my thoughts on male figure skating, eighties fashion, and reality television. It will be a wealth of information.

    Seriously, Sophie, Shannon and I are so excited for this opportunity. Not only will we get to talk about our obsession with blogging and the blog world, but we’ll get to meet some people face to face. It’s going to be so much fun.

    And here’s something cool, if you’re interested in attending then you have a chance to win a scholarship. Lysa TerKeurst is conducting a scholarship contest for the 2008 She Speaks conference on her blog this week. To get all the details and enter this contest, visit Lysa’s blog by clicking here.

    To find out more about registering for the 2008 She Speaks conference visit the conference website by clicking here.

    If you’ve ever wanted the opportunity to become better equipped for ministry and to have a great time, this is the place to be on
    June 20-22.

    I know I’m not going to miss it for the world. Even if I have to rise before dawn to get there.

  • It’s Sunday night. It’s 11:45.

    I know many of y’all are anxiously awaiting the hair retrospective. In fact, it’s probably been all you can do this weekend to reign in your anticipation.

    However, due to a late night cooking dinner for a big group of our friends and having a lot of fun, I am beat.

    And the hair retrospective remains unfinished.

    But I’m going to bed anyway because I am tired.

    So the history of my hair will be ready around lunchtime tomorrow.

    Although I am not sure the internet is really ready for some of the horror contained therein.

  • Five cents says it was the worst offering at show and tell

    Today started off with a tragic discovery.

    I had made myself a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookie dough for my dinner the night before because it’s a new year and I’m trying to eat healthier. Anyway, somewhere between my third and eighteenth spoonful I forgot to put the dough back in the refrigerator and it sat out on the counter all night.

    And honestly, I was so sad about it that I tried to convince myself that it was probably still okay. However, the fear of salmonella got the best of me and I put it in the sink while I continued to debate if it would really make me sick. I’m embarrassed to admit I finally turned on the faucet and filled the bowl with water to end my internal conflict over delicious cookie dough versus massive food poisoning.

    Then, since Fridays are Show and Tell Day at Caroline’s school, I had to find something that starts with the letter N. I was at a loss. Even now I cannot think of anything we own that starts with an N. But I couldn’t send her without something for Show and Tell because the other kids might point and laugh at our N deprived lives.

    I sent a nickel in a Ziploc bag.

    I cannot make this stuff up.

    Caroline told me the nickel was “awesome” and she was excited about it. I just hope someday next to her senior portrait in the yearbook it doesn’t say “kid who brought a nickel to show and tell”.

    At 1:00 p.m. I went and got my haircut. Yes, there will be pictures and commentary next week. I’ll just say that I did make a change, but nothing too drastic. And as BooMama’s sister told me, it’s not an arm it will grow back. That is some sound counsel.

    Anyway, then I searched high and low for the movie “Annie” because Caroline informed me she would like me to cook her dinner and then we could stay up late together to watch a movie. She’s never seen “Annie” and I thought it was genius of me to think of a movie I actually wouldn’t mind watching. I knew if I didn’t plan ahead I’d end up watching “Strawberry Shortcake’s Beach Party”.

    She helped me make homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner because, again, we’re all about healthy living here and then announced she was ready to watch “Strawberry Shortcake”.

    “What about ‘Annie’?”

    “No, I don’t like the way it looks”.

    “Really, but Peach Blossom and Gingersnap Mermaid talking to a berry-scented octopus looks normal to you?”

    Except I didn’t say that. The only kind of mother that would say something like that would be the kind of mother who’d send their child to Show and Tell with a nickel in a Ziploc bag.

    The good news is that after Strawberry Shortcake wrapped up her beach party, Caroline agreed to try “Annie”. Her little eyes were glued to the T.V. until she couldn’t keep them open anymore, so we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see how it ends.

    Tomorrow.

    Rumor has it that it’s only a day away.

  • Walking on cork-heeled sunshine

    Yesterday was a big day for me. Of course, it’s all relative and considering the day before yesterday consisted of me doing a lot of nothing, I had nowhere to go but up.

    The day started with an appointment with my beloved orthodontist. I felt pretty certain all would be well with my teeth, but I still have flashbacks to the days of rubberbands sealing my jaw shut while the metal eroded the inner lining of my mouth. However, he said everything looked great and I am OFFICIALLY done.

    I never have to go back to the orthodontist again. OH HAPPY DAY.

    Until it’s Caroline’s turn and then I will do the same thing she used to do for me during my appointments. I’ll stand by the chair, hold her hand and say “WOW, does that hurt? THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS BAD!”

    So, with the horrors of adult orthodontia behind me, I couldn’t imagine how my day could get any better. Oh, but it did.

    I stopped in my favorite local boutique to just look. I was only looking. I promise I had no intention of buying.

    But look what I found.

    These.

    And these.

    While it may seem kind of frivolous that I bought not one, but two (TWO!) pairs of red shoes, let me tell y’all that they were on clearance for $10.00. TEN AMERICAN DOLLARS.

    At that price I could practically wear them once and then throw them away. However, I would never do that because look at the cuteness. I was going to take a picture of them on my feet just to really highlight the fabulousness, but my toes are currently not ready for open-toe season. And I have this thing about feet even when in the best of condition.

    And, no I don’t really know what I’ll wear them with, but TEN DOLLARS.

    But I’m thinking the polka-dot wedges would look so fab with these shorts and this shirt. Hmmm, it’s like summer in a bowl.

    If all that wasn’t enough good news for one day, I also made an important health-related discovery. I’ve been on an antibiotic for the last week due to an ailment completely unrelated to the flu. In the meantime, I have wondered if I am ever going to recover from the flu-related tiredness because I seriously fall asleep if I sit for more than five minutes at a time.

    I have wondered several times over the last week if I actually do have a touch of the narcolepsy. Then, yesterday afternoon as I went to take my antibiotic I noticed a huge warning on the bottle that I had failed to see before saying “WARNING: THIS MEDICINE MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS LEADING TO SPORADIC NAPPING THROUGHOUT THE DAYTIME AND CAUSING YOU TO CONSTANTLY FEEL AS IF YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY A TRUCK. AND A LARGE CAR. AND POSSIBLY A CADILLAC ESCALADE.”

    I was relieved to know there is an actual medical reason for why I have been so completely worthless over the last ten days, but couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed the warning before.

    I guess I fell asleep in the middle of reading the package insert.

    I just feel so fortunate that I haven’t fallen asleep in the middle of something important and life-changing, such as shopping for bargain-priced shoes.

  • For my Sunday viewing

    I can’t really express how disappointed I am about The Golden Globes being done in some sort of press conference format. I mean, does anyone really care to see who wins if there is no celebrity fashion to mock and/or admire?

    Yeah, me neither.

    So, I’ll be on my couch watching “Comanche Moon”. And while I hold no illusions that anyone else could ever portray Gus like Robert Duvall, it should at least be more fun to watch than some low rent version of The Golden Globes.

  • I’ll write this down before I fall asleep again

    I know I said I was going to quit talking about the flu, but I lied. Either the flu has completely drained me of all my energy or I have become a narcoleptic. Not that I really mind, the spontaneous napping creates a nice break in the day. Except for the part where I wake up with someone trying to stick stuff up my nose or in my mouth. And then I have to tell P to quit messing with me and leave me alone.

    Yesterday morning I woke up with a little more energy than I’ve had in the previous week, so I decided it was time to go to HEB since we were out of juiceboxes and Donettes, which according to P and Caroline are household staples. Plus, it’s Caroline’s turn to bring snack to school today and those teachers are so picky and act so put out when you bring in a bag of stale pretzels and a few Hershey kisses leftover from Christmas. I mean, these kids are four, it’s not like they’re expecting gourmet items.

    By the time we found ourselves on the cereal aisle, I was about ready to lay down and take a nap. I can’t believe a normal trip to the store was so tiring. It’s like I’ve developed the physical stamina of a 97 year old woman. And not the ones that do water aerobics at the Assisted Living Facility.

    We finally got home and Caroline was excited because she had scored an orange helium balloon with a sucker attached. Oh, and it had a lollipop on it, too. I let her eat the lollipop even though it was lunchtime because the exhaustion, my word, the exhaustion. I had no will to fight the battle.

    After the lollipop was gone, all that was left was the balloon with a long string attached. While I slipped into a coma-like state on the couch, she entertained herself by letting the balloon float up to the ceiling and then jumping up to grab the string and pull it back down. I don’t know how long this went on because, like I said, I was passed out cold.

    At some point P came in and she talked him into playing the balloon game with her. They were throwing it back and forth, trying to catch it before it could float back up to the ceiling. And that’s when it happened.

    She didn’t catch it in time. It floated back up to the ceiling and then something went awry. I guess the string wasn’t tied around the balloon opening tight enough, but it came undone. We all stared up at the balloon in horror as it slowly deflated and then dropped to the ground like it had been shot.

    Two things happened at that moment. P and I began laughing uncontrollably. Caroline began to scream and cry like I had just set one of her Polly Pockets on fire. It was a scream so unprecedented and so filled with horror that it caused P and I to immediately quit laughing and rush to her side to offer her comfort in this time of balloon loss.

    At least that would have been our reaction if we were normal, caring people. Instead, her over-the-top reaction caused P and I to double over with laughter until we both had tears streaming down our face.

    I have no doubt this will be something she’ll discuss with her therapist some day.

    However, once she saw us laughing and realized her balloon wasn’t permanently damaged, she began to laugh too. And then P took the opportunity to show her the annoying sound you can make by blowing up a balloon and then stretching it out while you let out all the air. Hilarity ensued.

    And the sound of balloon flatulence was enough to keep me awake for the rest of the afternoon.

    It was a precious time.