Just for fun

So all we got here from Hurricane Ike was a slight breeze and a bill for a rented generator that sat in our garage for five days.

We’ve tried to pass the generator on to some friends in Houston, but apparently they are all tougher than me because they’re willing to live without air-conditioning for more than three minutes.

I still remember a night from my childhood when the air-conditioning went out in our house. It was one of the worst days of my life and that’s including the day I found out they were taking “Joanie Loves Chachi” off the air.

And speaking of Hurricane Ike, remember this picture from last week?

At the time I thought Cousin Eddie had evacuated from an RV park in Houston.

But I was wrong.

Apparently, the lady who lives next door found that RV for sale on the internet and bought it. Then, she found a man from Canada on the internet who said he would deliver it.

Oh, the wonder of the internet.

What a blessing that our children will never have to experience a world where you can’t purchase a hideous recreational vehicle online and have it delivered by someone who may or may not be a serial killer.

The neighbor told us all about her online RV purchase and asked if we could believe she only paid $2500 for it.

I’ll be honest, it didn’t tax my imagination at all.

In fact, I wouldn’t doubt that there is someone in Wisconsin bragging that he got someone to pay $2500 for his old beat up RV.

And from what we can tell, the Canadian delivery man is staying for the duration of the trailer renovation. Also, he is in dire need of a belt.

As we pulled in our driveway from church yesterday morning, P whispered to me, “Hurry! Look over by the RV!”

My corneas were seared with the sight of more booty cleavage than any one person should ever be allowed to expose.

So, it looks like the tenement on wheels is here to stay for a while.

But we won’t go falling in love with it because, hopefully, they’ll be parking it ANYWHERE ELSE but in their driveway in the near future.

Of course who am I to judge someone’s RV purchase?

P and I actually watched “Rocky Balboa” on Saturday night.

I’d like to say it was because there wasn’t anything else on, but that’s not true. In fact, both of were too tired to stay up for the last hour of it so we RECORDED it so we could finish watching it last night.

I am so embarrassed.

Here’s where I need to go ahead and admit that I’ve always been a Rocky fan. (Well, except for Rocky V because even I have my limits.) I realize the likelihood of going to the USSR and singlehandedly overcoming Communism by knocking out a Russian boxer is a farfetched plot line, but I totally bought the whole thing.

I even owned (own) the soundtrack.

So when I saw “Rocky Balboa” was on as we flipped through the channels, I laughed a superior laugh that said, “I am too sophisticated for this” and then it totally sucked me in because, OH MY WORD, Adrian dies, and Paulie gets fired from the meat plant and they take down the statue of Rocky, and they say lines like, “Let’s start building some hurting bombs” in regard to Rocky’s punching ability, and all the while they’re playing “Gonna Fly Now” in the background.

Who is strong enough to resist that?

Not me, my friends.

I was even nervous during the final fight scene. Like Rocky might actually get knocked out.

Anyway, I won’t ruin the ending for those of y’all who are dying to see it, but I will tell you there is a point in the final fight scene where the twenty-three year old heavyweight champion of the world hurts his hand during the fight because he punches Rocky’s hip.

Which, yeah he did. Rocky’s like eighty years old. You just know that hip is some type of titanium implant.

If y’all are interested, head on over to the LifeWay Allacess blog for a chance to win Travis Cottrell’s new Christmas CD, Ring the Bells.

I’ve already heard some of the songs and they are causing me to break my own personal rule of no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving.

I’m going to be completely honest, Kindergarten is crushing my buzz.

All summer long Caroline and I would lay in bed until 8 a.m. which is an hour I only dreamed of for the first four years of her life. I had finally trained her in the art of a leisurely morning only to see it destroyed by the educational system.

So, my point is that I am tired. P has been waking us up awfully early but I think I’ve already figured out that we can sleep at least fifteen minutes later every morning. And those extra fifteen minutes will add up to an extra hour and fifteen minutes at the end of each week.

I just did that math in my head.

Who says you’ll never amount to anything if it took you two times to pass Algebra II?

Anyway, I am totally going with a list format because I have several points I would like to make and no energy to voice them in a narrative form.

1. Back-combing is just a fancy way of saying TEASING. If you were alive in the 80’s and older than six, then you’ve teased your hair.

If you’re from Texas there is a good chance that you received a sterling silver teasing comb at birth.

The one I bought is a fine-tooth comb that comes complete with a pick on the other end. It’s exactly like the comb I used in 1987-1989 to separate each curl of my spiral perm after I doused it in Aussie Sprunch Spray.

2. Hot rollers are intended for use on dry hair only. You will immediately regret any attempt to use them on wet hair. To get an idea, imagine your hair after eighteen days in a tropical rain forest.

Now multiply that by 150.

It’s also important to note that some people will mock you for toting around hot rollers in 2008, but those people are called people with flat hair.

3. I volunteered in the cafeteria at Caroline’s school today and let me assure you that nothing will make you lose your appetite like watching some kids use their straw to slurp up leftover juice from their pinto beans.

Disgusting doesn’t begin to cover it.

But it served as a great diet tool for the rest of the day.

4. One kid actually brought sushi in her lunchbox. Girlfriend sat there and rolled her own sushi in some seaweed wraps.

I just pray Caroline wants to buy her lunch for the rest of the year. I can’t take the pressure

5. Our dryer is broken. I’m supposed to sit at home between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m. for the Sears repairman to grace me with an appearance.

It would be a great time to catch up on laundry, except for the fact that my dryer is broken.

Truth be told, the dryer is eleven years old. I don’t have high hopes for a comeback. Do y’all have any dryer recommendations? Is one dryer really better than another? Should I just hang a clothesline across the backyard and go old school? (the neighbors would be so pleased)

Any dryer wisdom would be appreciated.

Y’all have a great day and I’ll try to be back with a coherent thought tomorrow.

So, I’ve been so wrapped up in the start of Kindergarten and crying while looking at Caroline’s baby pictures that I haven’t even talked about what a great weekend I had.

It started out with a little bit of a glitch when Sophie called to let me know that the extremely helpful Continental Airlines had decided to cancel her flight from Houston to San Antonio.

Well done, Continental. Way to establish trust and consumer loyalty.

Sophie was trying to figure out what to do and I just tried to be helpful by continually yelling into the phone, “JUST RENT A CAR AND DRIVE HERE! JUST RENT A CAR! IT WILL ONLY TAKE 2 1/2 HOURS! RENT A CAR! IT’S JUST A TWO HOUR DRIVE!”

Needless to say, she got off the phone with me and went in search of someone who could provide an actual solution.

In the meantime, I was able to spend some time visiting with Amanda and we had more fun talking about life. She’s just starting to potty train her little boy and I offered helpful tips along the lines of “POTTY TRAINING IS SO HARD! GIVING A TODDLER CONTROL OF ANYTHING IS A NIGHTMARE!”

Seriously, I’ll put that pep talk on DVD and make millions.

Sophie finally arrived in San Antonio around 3:30, which gave us just enough time to go in search of chips and guacamole before heading over to the Alamodome for Living Proof Live.

Right as it started, Gulley met us there and I got to see all my worlds collide. Hello internet world, meet real life world.

What ever happened to that sweet girl who was afraid to use the email?

Travis and the praise team were awesome. I mean, ya’ll, they can flat sing. Every single one of them is so incredibly gifted and I could have listened to them all night.

Beth spoke about our inheritance from God and if we would only realize that we are all heiresses of God we wouldn’t give ourselves away so cheaply. It was so incredible and God used it to continue to speak to me about how much He values us. In fact, one of Beth’s points was that not only is God our portion, but we are His. He delights in us.

I love when God uses a theme.

After it was over, several of us went to Mi Tierra to eat some late night Mexican food. It was just like being back in college except I hadn’t spent the evening drinking cheap, warm beer out of a plastic cup.

Throughout the weekend I was able to meet so many sweet women that I’ve met ON THE INTERNET over the last couple of years. It was so great to finally be able to hug people who have been such an encouragement and blessing to me. I loved every minute of it and can’t wait until we can do it again.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the most important lessons I received over the weekend.

On Friday night before the event, I was talking to Beth’s daughter, Melissa, and I asked her exactly how she fixes her hair. We have similar hair but mine is missing something. She told me the trick is hot rollers (which I already use on a regular basis) and then asked me if I back-combed my hair because it looked like what was missing was some back-combing.

So not only did I get a word from her mama, but Melissa ministered to me with some valuable hair wisdom.

Although, Melissa has a backcombing advantage because she was not a teenager in the 80’s. I guarantee she has never used a comb to do this to her hair.

Once you have backcombed your hair to achieve a full, sassy mullet, it’s hard to pick up a fine-tooth comb again.

But I can’t be held back by the sins of my past.

I’m ready to try again. I need some lift and I’ll do what must be done to get it.

In fact, I am so committed that I even purchased a brand new comb yesterday at HEB.

As long as I don’t start carrying it in my back pocket, I think I’ll be okay.

When I went to the doctor on Monday to see about my rash o’ death, he prescribed a four day treatment of oral prednisone, which is a steroid.

It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was heading into full blown PMS at any moment.

I’m literally experiencing PMS on steroids.

And it’s not pretty, my friends.

In fact, a few moments ago, I killed an entire plate of chocolate chip cookies all by myself.

They never saw it coming.

Anyway, things can only get better because at noon today I’m picking up Annie, Sophie and Amy Beth from the airport and we’re heading straight for some of the finest Mexican food San Antonio has to offer.

Then later, we’ll get to go hear Beth Moore and Travis Cottrell at the Alamodome.

And even later, I’ll attack another plate of chocolate chip cookies.

I can’t help myself.

It’s the hormones.

And the steroids.

Oh, and the chocolate.