The other day I found myself sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. I was the only person in the waiting room except for a middle aged woman, without a tooth in her head, sitting on her electric cart. She had no problem with the fact that she was parked right in front of the door to the office, thereby blocking all entrance and exit routes.
I sat there for about ten minutes, watching various people come into the office and figure out how to manuever around the cart lady, while she pretended to be completely oblivious to everyone around her.
A few minutes later, a couple walked in wearing matching black and red Chevrolet jackets. The matching jackets, while classy, weren’t the most notable thing about them. The thing I noticed, as they sat down across from me, is that while they both had facial hair, the female member of the relationship had a mustache that was much thicker and robust than the male member of the relationship.
Now, I’m not judging. I, too, have my own personal ongoing battle with facial hair because it is the curse of my Italian heritage, which is why I invest in some quality hair removing products and would be willing to forgo Caroline’s college education to pay for some laser hair removal treatments. All I’m saying is this lady would be well served to spend less on the Chevrolet jacket and more on a tube of Surgi-cream hair remover.
Anyway, I guess while I was staring at her mustache, her boyfriend must have thought I was wanting to engage in some conversation. He looked at me and discreetly motioned toward the electric cart with his head and said in a voice that could have been heard throughout the building, “The problem with them carts is people try to drive ’em on the road like they’re REAL CARS”.
Well, thank you for that insight, sir. Yes, that would be a problem if I had ever actually seen anyone driving an electric cart down the road in the major metropolitan area in which we live.
I didn’t say that, however, because I felt like since he was wearing an official Chevrolet jacket and all, he might have more on the road experience than me. He might have daily encounters with all of those electric cart drivers that are apparently polluting the highway. So, I just nodded and smiled as if to say “Yes, thank you for speaking out against this roadway travesty” as I climbed over the front of the lady’s electric cart on my way in to see the doctor.