Timing is everything

Last Wednesday night was the season finale of Friday Night Lights. I believe I may have mentioned this before, but Friday Night Lights is the best show on television. Honestly. And if you’ve missed it, then look for the reruns this summer and start watching. Please.

Because if it gets cancelled, I will fall into a pit of despair and depression.

Anyway, I was watching the season finale last Wednesday, and Coach Taylor’s wife found out she was pregnant. The nurse asked her, “Honey, do you want this baby?” and she said, “I prayed for this baby 12 years ago and then 11 years ago and then 10 years ago, and finally realized that God must have other plans”. The nurse looked her right in the eye and said, “Well honey, it looks like God changed His mind.”

And I started crying.

I started crying because I know how it feels to pray and to get an answer. I know how it feels to hope that God changes His mind. And the irony is, while I was watching that show, I had no idea what God was about to do.

Let me say before y’all get all excited that I am not pregnant. But I do have some news.

When Caroline was born, I was blessed to work for a company that gave me 6 months of maternity leave. That’s right. 6 months. But when that 6 months was up, I didn’t want to go back to work. I wanted to be home with my baby girl and I cried and bargained and prayed that God would allow that to happen.

And it didn’t.

I didn’t understand, but at the same time realized that I was blessed to have a job with flexibility and a husband who works from home so that we were able to juggle our schedules and make sure one of us was always with Caroline. We made it work and, in all honesty, I had days where I was relieved to be able to leave the house and go eat lunch at a restaurant that didn’t require me to take off my shoes before walking into the Playplace.

We adjusted. I accepted that this was what God had for me and I was okay with it, but in my heart my prayer remained the same.

Some of y’all may remember that back in February I had some things come up with my job regarding false accusations. If not, you can read about it here. I had to fly to Dallas for a big, scary meeting. Everything got cleared up, but my manager called me just this past Friday and told me that now they were looking at some other things and it would require another scary meeting, another trip to Dallas. The weird thing was that as she talked, I was perfectly calm.

Anyone who reads my posts on a regular basis knows how remarkable that statement is. I remained calm.

In fact, I remained so calm I wondered if I was having some kind of breakdown that was causing me to not properly compute information.

P got home and we talked about it. He asked me if I thought this was God’s way of pushing me to take a step of faith and resign from my job. He put into words exactly what I was feeling. I knew it was time to walk away.

When I think back to everything that has happened in our lives since the initial meeting in February, I am overwhelmed at how God has prepared the way for this next step. I found a great way for us to get affordable health insurance, P won the bid on a huge job providing extra income, and I am in the middle of working on some exciting things that I can’t talk about in detail quite yet.

It’s all come together in the right way, at the right time.

Friday night, P and I sat and talked about everything and couldn’t believe how at peace we feel with this decision. I cannot even convey how awed I am by God’s faithfulness and timing. If I had been able to stay at home 3 years ago, I wouldn’t have worked as hard to figure out what I’m passionate about. I know myself well enough to know that I need something that is mine, something I care about, and blogging has really helped me find it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like everything is just perfect. One of the biggest perks of my job is a company car with insurance and gas, and that’s going away. The good news is that Gulley’s backseat can hold three carseats, so we’re going to be carpooling to the grocery store for awhile, which will basically take us back to our years in college when Gulley chauffered me around in her Pontiac Sunbird because my Honda CRX had doors that would no longer open from the inside.

There are only so many times you can climb in and out of your car like one of the Duke boys before you start looking for a better mode of transportation.

Anyway, with summer right around the corner, Caroline and I will spend most of our waking hours at the neighborhood pool which is within walking distance, and let’s be honest, is there a better motivator to spend some time walking than knowing you’re going to be wearing a bathing suit every day?

The thing is there are still some obstacles. P’s business is seasonal, so we’re going to have to figure out how to budget wisely. We’re praying about the car thing, because while I can do without for awhile, the reality is that at some point I’m going to need a car. In spite of figuring these things out, I am so overwhelmed at God’s perfect timing and provision. And even more than that, with the peace He has put in my heart that He will provide for us. He is faithful.

And I’m forever grateful that He changed His mind. I can’t wait to see where we go from here.

Plus, saving money at the grocery store will be no problem, seeing as how we have 600 pounds of elk meat in our deep freeze. I thought I was kidding about elk kabobs, sloppy elk joes, and elk tenders, but God knew we were going to be eating a lot of elk.

“Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
Psalm 16:5-8

For Heather

Today is for Heather. For those of y’all who may not know, you can read Heather’s story here and here. I cannot even imagine what she and her family are going through right now, but I know that I am inspired by her faith. I have to say that when I read her post last week, it made me wonder how much one person, one family can bear. You can read about their daughter, Emma, here.

Boomama is helping raise money starting at midnight tonight, April 18th, for the expenses that Heather will incur as they search for treatment options. Head on over to Boomama’s to see how you can help. If you can contribute financially that’s great, but most importantly Heather needs our prayers.

Y’all have a great day.

Taking back what is His

“But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.”

Isaiah 53: 5

He did it because “God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life”.

He did it because “as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love” and “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us”. The height of His love and the width of His forgiveness are the beams of the cross.

He did it because “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”.

He did it for all mankind.

But He would have done it just for me.

And He would have done it just for you.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

Luke 15: 20-24

Happy Easter, y’all.

The greatest miracle

Yesterday, my friend AJ and I met at my house for lunch. For those of y’all who may not know, AJ’s mom was diagnosed with aggressive pancreatic cancer back in October and given maybe 6 months to live. You can read about their story here.

It has been unbelieveably sad at times to watch how their lives have changed, but at the same time, it’s been incredible to watch how they have pulled together to make these last few months count. I’ve watched their faith grow, even as it is being stretched to the limits.

As AJ and I were eating lunch yesterday, her sister called and said their mom wanted to hear the story in the Bible about the man who was sick and his friends lowered him through the ceiling to get him closer to Jesus. We couldn’t remember exactly where the story was, but knew it was in either Matthew, Mark, Luke or John or some combination therein.

So, we did what all good Bible scholars do and did a Google search.

“Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said, ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven.’ The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, ‘Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?’ Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, ‘Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven, or to say ‘Get up and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins…’ He said to the paralyzed man, ‘I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.’ Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God.”

Luke 5:16-26

I hadn’t really read this story in years, although I can remember it being taught in Sunday School year after year. It lends itself to being very dramatic when told with flannelboard figures.

As I read it, I realized that what I had always seen as the miracle of the story was the paralyzed man being able to walk and that’s not what it’s about at all. The miracle is the forgiveness of the man’s sins. The physical healing was just to show Jesus’ power in a tangible way.

It was like something clicked for me and I realized that I spend so much time praying for things. Praying that God will do this or that, but the most incredible thing He can do for me has already been done. He has paid the debt for my sins.

We are a new creation. Our chains have been loosed and we are set free. That’s something that no amount of chemo or surgery or new, improved medical treatment can give. It’s only through Him that we can truly be healed, truly be free, truly be changed and transformed.

Here’s the thing, AJ’s mom gets that. Yes, you pray for the physical healing because miracles happen everyday, but you also pray for His will and find peace in knowing that He is all powerful and sees things we can’t see. The eternal picture.

All we have to do is let go and trust Him.

And find the joy in knowing the greatest miracle of all has already happened.