Seriously

An attitude of gratitude

I am a little behind on my television viewing, which makes me realize that I really need to re-evaluate my priorities. Anyway, on Sunday, I recorded all the Academy Award pre-show festivities so that I could watch them later, and then by the time I got Caroline into bed, I just wanted to watch the actual awards and skipped through all the other stuff.

I watched the Academy Awards and felt like something was missing, which I later realized was due to the fact that I didn’t watch the Barbara Walters special beforehand. It’s just not the same if you haven’t seen a celebrity cry on Barbara’s shoulder right before the show. Thankfully, I had a little spare time last night and was able to get all caught up on the celebrity display of waterworks.

Her first interview was with Ellen DeGeneres. I really like Ellen DeGeneres. I remember seeing her on Comedy Central when I was in college and thinking she was hysterical. I love her dry humor, her warmth and her style. And don’t even get me started on how much I love her as the voice of Dory in Finding Nemo.

Anyway, Ellen was talking about the ups and downs of her career and her life. She has had some huge successes, but she’s also had some really painful things that have happened along the way. At one point in the interview, they showed a clip of her first appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson where she did a thing about calling God on the phone. I remembered seeing it years ago and it was great.

At the end of the interview, Barbara Walters asked Ellen what she would say to God if she really could call Him on the phone and Ellen got very teary-eyed (of course, it’s Barbara Walters) and said with such sincerity, ” I’d say thank you. I’ve got nothing but gratitude. My whole life, I’m so blessed. I’m so lucky and I feel it every day”.

Her words convicted me so much that I turned off the T.V.

I don’t know what Ellen’s religious beliefs are and that’s not the point. The point is her overwhelming gratitude at the life she has been given. She recognizes her blessings and it made me ask myself if I’m as quick to recognize all of mine, or do I let myself get consumed with the other things I want?

When I pray, which is really the same as a phone call to God, how much time do I spend thanking Him for all He has already done in my life? Do I tell Him that I realize He’s blessed me more than I’ve ever deserved and honestly, if He never did one thing for me other than sending His son 2,000 years ago to die on a cross, that’s more than I could ever repay?

I would never call up my friends every day and say, “Let me tell you what you can do for me today” and I’m betting if I did, it wouldn’t be long before they started screening my calls. If someone does something nice for me, I am quick to tell them thank you, after all, that’s just good manners. I’d never say, “Well, that’s nice, but if you really want to help me you could…”.

As a mama, I spend lots of time reminding Caroline to say thank you. I tell her that’s what nice people do, we say thank you when people do something for us so they know that they are appreciated.

Why am I so quick to tell the cashier at HEB thank you for the Buddy Bucks, but so slow to tell God thank you for giving me the air that I breathe, the family that I love, the friends that I adore, and the life that is so much more blessed than I deserve?

I never thought I’d say that watching a Barbara Walters special caused me to have a spiritual revelation, but it did. Ellen’s words made me take a look at myself and caused me to stop and just tell Him, thank you.

“Some wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way to a city where they could settle.

They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. “

Psalm 107: 4-9

Going for gold

So last week I mentioned that there had been some things going on at work, and I had to fly to Dallas to take care of, well…business. Here’s the story.

Two weeks ago, I received a call from my manager letting me know she received a call from our Human Resources department to inform her they had some questions about things related to my work performance and needed both of us to fly to Dallas so they could question and/or fire me in person.

And no, I couldn’t be more vague…but discretion is the only way to tell this story or else I might find myself in the HR department again.

The things in question were completely false and were completely due to computer error. I knew this, my manager knew this, but my fear was that this lady in HR, who doesn’t know me from Adam, wouldn’t know this and there wasn’t necessarily any way for me to prove anything.

The best part was they scheduled this career deciding meeting a full week and a half from the initial phone call, which really allowed an abundance of time for me to do what I do best, completely stress and freak out.

I got off that phone call with my manager and in 2.8 seconds had P and I living on the streets with no health insurance. I am, by the way, an insurers’ dream come true because the thought of no insurance COMPLETELY freaks me out and I will sign up for any policy within a five hundred mile radius.

I am obviously a risk taker by nature.

So, I hang up the phone and walk out to tell P about the phone call. Seeing that all the blood has completely drained from my face and that I’m hyperventilating, he intuitively knew that something very bad had happened, such as losing my job or overplucking my eyebrows again.

The news of our imminent homelessness came pouring out of my mouth, as he sat and listened to me talk. When I was finally drained and quiet, he looked at me and said, “It will be okay. God’s in control”.

Umm, yeah…I knew that.

And the thing is I do know that, but in that moment and throughout the following week and a half, I had times that I completely forgot. I let fear completely grip me, instead of letting God’s peace envelop me.

In short, I was the Bode Miller of Christian faith. Remember Bode Miller? The skier in the Winter Olympics last year that was supposed to win all the medals? He was the best, he had tons of experience, he was the media favorite, and when it came time for the biggest event of his career…he choked. He didn’t win one medal.

That’s me. I have experience. I’ve walked with Christ for fifteen years. He’s blessed me with a great husband, beautiful daughter, wonderful friends and a happy home. He’s carried me through the lonely days of being a new college graduate in a town where I knew no one, bad job situations, deaths of people I love, and a heartbreaking miscarriage. I know Him. I have tested Him and He has always proved faithful. Always.

In turn, I am so quick to prove faithless. In the Olympics of Christianity, I wouldn’t even get a bronze medal based on my reaction to what was going on in my life.

The day for the meeting finally came and I knew that I was covered in prayer. I was able to walk into that meeting knowing and believing that God was in control. As we sat down in this ominous conference room and the HR lady opened her file, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.

She presented me with the first piece of evidence that showed potential wrongdoing on my part and I was able to reasonably explain what had happened. It was good, but still put me in a situation of my word against someone else’s. Then, she showed me the next piece of evidence and as I was trying to figure out what could have happened, my manager was looking at her calendar and realized that she had been with me at the precise time and date this had occurred and there was a written report from months earlier that documented what she said was true.

I realize this is all a little vague, but the bottom line is that this is not a coincidence. I see my manager about once every two months, so for her to be with me at this specific time can only be described by saying God totally had the situation covered.

He was in control.

Imagine that.

At a time where He knew my heart and saw all of my fear, He totally took care of me beyond anything I could have imagined. And most importantly, this whole turn of events has served as a catalyst for me to think bigger than myself, to quit looking at what I can tangibly see and to take the leap to see my life and potential through God’s eyes.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Peserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete
not lacking anything.”
James 1: 2-4

That’s the kind of faith I want…mature and complete, not lacking anything. So that the next time a test comes, and it’s just a matter of time, I will let go of my fear and take hold of Christ. And know, that even if there is no comprehensive health insurance, He’s got it under control.

The solid rock

One of my favorite parts of the Bible is when Joshua is about to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. In the first chapter of Joshua, God tells him three different times to “Be strong and courageous”. Whenever I am feeling less than strong and courageous (which is more often than I like to admit), I go and read Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Sure enough, God was with the Israelites and they crossed into the Promised Land. After they got there God told Joshua to choose twelve men from each tribe and have them each take a stone and place it as a memorial to the people of Israel to remind them of what God had done for them.

“In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’,
tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the convenant of the Lord.
When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.
These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
Joshua 4: 6-7

When I am facing a challenge or needing to be reminded of how faithful God is, I remember this passage and think about the “stones” in my life. We all have them. Those times that looked so hopeless and then God took care of us in ways that we couldn’t have imagined. That’s what He does, because He is…you know, God and all.

So, while technically I am still on a bloggy break, I thought I would share these thoughts along with two links that tell about two of my personal memorial stones.
Stone #1
Stone #2

It’s break time

Sometimes life just gets a little hectic and it seems like I’ve hit one of those times. I have a lot on my plate right now and just need to step back and take a little blog break for the next few days.

In the meantime, since I seem to have a lot of new readers these days, I’ll leave y’all with some of my favorite posts about the family of Big Mama.

This is about my big Italian family

This is about my Big Bob

This is about my Mema

This is about my Papa

This is about my Nanny

I’ll see y’all in a few days. God bless.

For Kelli


I just wanted to remind y’all that this is going on at Boomama’s on Tuesday. If you don’t know what I’m talking about click on this link to read more. Thanks, y’all.

Thanks for the prayers

I justed wanted to give an update on A.J.’s mom. They went to the doctor on Friday and for the first time since her cancer was diagnosed, the tumor hadn’t grown at all. This means that the really intensive chemo is actually working so they want to try it again.

She’ll have a week off, which is great because she’s feeling really good right now and is able to enjoy her friends and family. After that, she’ll start another 12 day round of chemo. All in all, this is good news because short of a miraculous healing, what they really want is just a little more time.

Thanks for praying.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1