Road trips

The great thing about a trip to Bryan is that I get to see all of Gulley’s extended family. They all live in Bryan and if there is an occasion such as a birthday, y’all better believe they are all going to be there. I can remember many a time in college when Gulley and I would have to hit the family birthday party circuit before we were free to go on with our evening. Oh, and I could write a book on the summer we went to the Decatur Reunion, which isn’t just a family reunion, it’s a TOWN reunion. And people stay all week on the fairgrounds and like, camp out and stuff. With no air-conditioning.

Texas summer + no air-conditioning = 182 levels of wrong

Nena grew up in Decatur and her daddy still lived there until he passed away several years ago, but for years there was always the guilt to attend the Decatur Reunion because chances were good that Gulley’s great granddaddy wasn’t going to be with us by the next summer and even though he could no longer remember who anyone was, it would “just mean the world to him” to have his whole family at the reunion.

Anyway, since it was Gulley’s mama’s birthday, the whole clan descended on her house for a cookout. Uncle Glen came in carrying a laundry basket full of purple hull peas and dropped it in front of Gulley’s mama and said, “Happy Birthday, Sis. Here’s your present. I hate to eat and run, but I’ve got to be at Joe’s Bar before all the good lookin’ girls are taken.”

I got a lump in my throat witnessing such a tender moment.

He told us he had his eye on two special ladies. One he referred to as “Blue Bell”, the other “Sweet Hips”. Between those terms of endearment and the tender gift of a lifetime supply of purple hull peas, it really is a wonder some lucky gal hasn’t snapped him up.

Not to mention the fact that he lives in the middle of nowhere in a solar powered log cabin.

At some point in the evening, all the kids were running around the backyard and Uncle Johnny, who raises racehorses, noticed that Caroline is pretty fast. So, he gets Jackson, Will and Caroline to line up and run races to see who is the fastest. I honestly think he was about to start placing bets and discussing trifectas, when Caroline finally decided that her legs were “too TI-RED” and stopped running. I carried her inside and told Nena about the running and she said, “Well you know, Johnny’s horse finished NINTH last weekend at the races! NINTH! Can you imagine?” Somebody asked, “How many horses were there?” Nena said, “Probably just 10.”

And I just have to mention that Nena had on some darling, polka dot capri pants and when I said, “Well, Nena! Look at you, you are so stylish”, she said, “Oh, I know it and did you see my purse? It’s fabulous.”

It was fabulous, and she kept it with her all night long just because it added to her outfit. Every now and then she’d set it down and then remember she needed it to perfectly complete her ensemble, so she’d send someone in search of it. While retrieving the purse, Gulley discovered that Nena actually had nothing in there at all. It was purely for ornamental purposes because Nena is all about the style.

The other person we got to see was Nena’s good friend, Dorothy Jo. Dorothy Jo was wearing a hot pink suit and Nena said, “Oh Dorothy Jo! I just love that suit!” and Dorothy Jo said, “I know, I just love it, too. I bought it right off the rack and you know on a normal person I think these are supposed to be capri pants, but they fit me just perfect.” The whole look was very chic or as Dorothy Jo would say, “CHICK”.

That’s right.

“Oh! Your hair looks so CHICK!”

“That dress is just so CHICK!”

“Well, you know, she buys her clothes at Steimart and they are just so CHICK!”

It’s gotten to the point where Gulley’s mama, Gulley and I can’t even look at each other for fear something might be declared “CHICK” and send us into uncontrollable laughter from the likes of which we’d never recover.

And a trip to Bryan wouldn’t be complete if Nena hadn’t presented me with a gift she found at a garage sale. It’s been years since I have been the recipient of prime garage sale material, but this visit put me back on the list. Actually, truth be told, she had bought this item with Gulley in mind, but Gulley (who has been using this same tired excuse for the last 17 years) told her that, sadly, it didn’t fit. So, Nena told Gulley to give it to me because “it will fit her for sure and everything looks just beautiful on her! Just beautiful!”

Not everything.

Alexis Carrington Colby called today and wants her shirt back.

Of course, I may wear it one of these days. Someone might tell me I look chick.

Well, let me start by saying WE HAD MORE FUN. If y’all haven’t taken a road trip recently with whoever your equivalent of Gulley is, then get in the car and just do it. And if you don’t have a Gulley equivalent…GET ONE.

I started the day off running a little late. The plan was I would drop Caroline off at school at 8:45 and meet Gulley back at my house. But Caroline has some kind of animal like instinct that alerts her to odd phenomenons, like us needing to actually be out of the house by a certain time, and slept until 8:00. This would never happen on a morning where we have nowhere to be. Life is not that kind and certainly doesn’t care about my dream of sleeping past 7 a.m. on any given morning.

Anyway, I got Caroline dropped off and called Gulley on her cell to see if she was already at my house. She answered and I asked, “Are you waiting for me at my house?” and she said, “Yes, but the construction workers told me you had just left.” Which brings me to a whole other point about being under constant surveillance by the construction crew working on Tillie’s house next door. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t a slimy type construction crew making obscene comments or anything. They just notice everything that happens at our house.

They tell Caroline to have a good day at school. They ask P how business is going. They were so excited about my new car. And at the rate we’re going, we’ll be inviting them all for Christmas this year.

Finally, Gulley and I loaded up in my car and headed to her mama’s house to drop off Will and pick up her stepdad who we call Big, because he is, in fact, Big. And can I just interrupt this road trip recap to inform y’all that when we got in the car, the opening music to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” was playing and Will knew what it was and started singing “Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Uh Oh”.

And that is why he is a rockstar and I love him.

Anyway, we picked up Big and were on our way. We had roadtripped with Big once before about 15 years ago, so we figured he’s already heard it all, so we talked freely about important womanly issues like how I should get my hair cut and what we were fixing for dinner these days. Actually, Big has been home from work for about a week while he’s waiting to start a new job, and he was a wealth of daytime T.V. information. He let us know that dark green, leafy lettuces are better for us than iceberg and he also knew some potential plotline information for Grey’s Anatomy because he saw McSteamy on Regis and Kelly a few days ago.

And that is why Big is a rockstar and I love him.

When we got to College Station, we dropped off Big and headed to the hospital to go see Tiff and her new baby boy, Zeke. It was so fun to walk in the hospital room and completely surprise Tiff. She had no idea we were coming because, let’s be honest, by the time you have your 4th baby, you’re wondering if your husband is going to show.

We hugged, cried and kissed that new, darling baby boy and then he was off to get circumcised. Talk about a buzz kill.

Gulley, Tiff and I met when we were all Diamond Darlings at A&M. One of the cardinal rules for Diamond Darlings is you can’t date the players, and while we all broke this rule, Tiff took it to the next level and actually ended up marrying one of the players. She is an overachiever.

And that is why she is a rockstar and I love her.

But seriously, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. One of the first times we ever talked, I asked her what her major was and she answered, “being a wife and mother”, which coming from anyone else might have caused me to reach for the nearest bucket to throw up in, but coming from her, it was just so genuine. She is super mom, but not in a fake way. She doesn’t pretend to have it all together, she just loves almost every minute of the chaos. In fact, one time when her girls were smaller she showed up at church and realized she had forgotten to put shoes on and instead of melting down, she just laughed and went with it.

And when she called to tell me she was pregnant I said, “Oh Tiff, I don’t know how you do it. I can barely handle the one I have!” and she answered, “Well, I think having just one is a lot harder than having three!” So obviously, she’s also a good liar.

She is always thinking of others. In fact, she runs a baking business and makes the most incredible cakes and cookies y’all will ever see. She spent the day and night before her scheduled c-section making the prettiest cookies I have ever seen and bagging them in little baggies and tying them up with brown ribbon and tulle, then placed them in a huge basket to bring to the hospital to hand out to all of her nurses and any of her visitors. Seriously.

And let me tell y’all that the hospital staff was knocking themselves out to take care of her. Even housekeeping got in on the action and was in her room begging for something to clean after they heard the rumor about the new mama with the cookies. In fact, I had to fight some of them off just so I could grab about 3 or 9 for myself.

Those hospital staff members get a little touchy about their free food.

Needless to say, Tiff and her baby were the hit of the hospital.

So, I decided if I ever have another baby, I am going to bring something real nice like some beef jerky sticks and perhaps an economy size bag of chips for the hospital staff to share, because obviously it’s the little things that count.