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Is it just me or did everyone else find themselves singing “Every Which Way But Loose” most of the day yesterday? I would apologize, but I suffered right along with the rest of you.

You’ll be relieved to know that tonight we aren’t watching any vintage movies from the 1970’s. However, P did inform me moments ago that he just bought five pairs of pants off the internet for $95. Do you see now why I tell him everything costs $15? He lives in a world where that’s an actual reality. Apparently a good pair of tactical pants are impervious to rips, holes and inflation.

Speaking of clothing, a blog reader named Sloan sent me a link on Twitter yesterday to an article about a zoo in the UK that has banned visitors from wearing animal-print clothing because it confuses the animals. So of course I feel even worse about the time back in 1991 when I wore a leopard print top to the Omaha Zoo. I had no idea I was confusing the animals. But between the top and the perm that made my hair enormous, I’m sure I caused both the lions and the leopards a bit of distress.

In all fairness though, someone told me a while back that you can always tell that animals in the zoo are crazy because they pace back and forth. They don’t do it out of boredom, they do it out of insanity. I have no idea if this is really true, but I’ve repeated it dozens of times since then as absolute fact. You have to admit it makes sense.

And I really have no idea how we ended up discussing orangutans yesterday and lions today. It’s like I’m Marlon Perkins all of a sudden. Stay tuned for tomorrow when we discuss the migratory patterns of the wildebeest. Which makes me think of that episode of The Cosby Show when Theo wanted to go see the wildebeest migrate. Back then I didn’t even think wildebeest were a real thing, but then I saw The Lion King and realized I was wrong.

I think it’s clear this entire post derailed somewhere around the first paragraph.

I can offer no real explanation other than it’s been a long day that involved both science and math homework for Caroline. My brain hit full capacity somewhere around how many more apples Jane has compared to Ryan. You know how many? I DON’T CARE. And, frankly, Jane shouldn’t make Ryan feel bad about his apple deficit.

And now I think I’m going to watch the season premiere of Nashville. I’ve been worried about Rayna and Deacon ever since that car flipped at the end of last season and I’m just hoping they aren’t going to make her have amnesia or I will have to quit watching for good.

That’s a lie. I won’t quit watching. Just like I probably won’t quit wearing animal prints to the zoo.

Of course I never go to the zoo anymore so I guess that works out.

Here’s what you need to know. At this very moment P and I are sitting side by side on the couch watching Any Which Way You Can starring Clint Eastwood as Philo Beddoe and his pet orangutan, Clyde. Some of you more sophisticated cinema viewers might remember that this is the sequel to the highly acclaimed film Every Which Way But Loose.

And I will also confess that as an eight-year-old girl I owned the soundtrack to Every Which Way But Loose on eight track tape. My personal favorite song on the album (besides the title track obviously) was Send Me Down to Tuscon by Mel Tillis.

Watching this movie as a forty-something woman confirms something I have always suspected. The 1970’s were a weird time for movies. Between movies like this and Urban Cowboy and Smokey and the Bandit, it’s really no wonder that as a child I believed bare knuckle brawler or professional mechanical bull rider were viable career options. I mean what more could one want out of life than to travel cross-country dodging deputies and running beer across state lines with your boyfriend in his Trans Am?

The only explanation is that 1970’s Hollywood ran out of legitimate plot ideas, brainstormed while they were drunk and said “Clint Eastwood with a pet orangutan? HILARIOUS.”

Bottom line. I am watching this movie. With my husband. In 2013.

Please don’t envy my incredibly glamorous life. Would it help if I told you P has a cold and might hack up a lung before the night is over? We are practically just like Will and Kate.

In other news, I think I’m close to being caught up on sleep. Yesterday I functioned like a normal person and managed to go to Smart Barre, drop clothes off at Goodwill, go by the library, finish all the laundry and return two shirts to Old Navy. I realize this doesn’t seem very impressive, but it’s more than I could have imagined on Monday.

I think the tiredness was just a cumulative effect. Caroline was sick for three days last week then I left town on Thursday for all the fun and then proceeded to not sleep for the next three nights. And so I am thankful that this week is just a normal week with our normal activities.

But I also have to share some news.

Caroline had soccer practice Monday night. And after we got home, she showered, put on her pajamas and walked in the kitchen and said the words I’ve been dreading for several weeks. “Mom? Do you care if I want to grow my bangs back out?”

Oh bangs. You are a cruel invention.

I resisted whatever urge I had to remind her I was the one who told her not to do it in the first place and said, “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.”

Then she asked, “How long will it take to grow them out?”

Well. This is going to be painful.

I replied, “It’s going to take at least a few months. But you can just wear them back in a headband.”

She looked at me blankly for a minute before inquiring, “Isn’t there a way to make them grow faster? I just want them gone.”

Welcome to the story of my hair life.

The irony is I’ve looked at a lot of pictures of women with bangs recently on Pinterest and had almost convinced myself to go get them. But Caroline reminded me why it never ends well. Bangs are great for about five minutes. That’s their official shelf life. Five minutes.

Much like the cinematic treasures of the 1970’s.

I realize I didn’t post anything yesterday. Let me explain why.

I was so tired I could hardly stand up straight, like so tired that I went to bed at 8:45 on Sunday night.

8:45.

The last time 8:45 was my bedtime I was ten years old and mad that I had to go to bed before Taxi was over. It’s not that I really enjoyed the show Taxi as much as I just pretended to so I could stay up a little later.

Anyway, it’s a safe assumption that I had a great time at DotMom over the weekend. The only problem is I sometimes have trouble sleeping in a strange hotel room. This is in spite of the fact that I now travel with my own mini-fan to help with the air circulation. I should probably be embarrassed that I’ve become that high maintenance, but I’m not.

I also had some pillow issues because I require five pillows in a hotel bed situation. One for my head and two on each side of me, thereby creating a nest configuration.

And now you’re so bored that you’ve clicked away and I can write about whatever I want.

The truth is I’m still tired. It turns out that getting four hours of sleep over a three day period of time isn’t really conducive to productivity or coherent thought or the ability to put paragraphs together.

So I promise I’ll be back tomorrow with all manner of things you probably don’t care about and use way too many words to tell you all about it.

But right now?

I have to go to bed.

This is going to be quick because I’m in Chattanooga right now for the DotMom Conference. But there is no reason that the fashion needs to wait.

Here are a few things I’ve found this week:

1. south tucson aztec shift dress

Aztec prints are really big right now. I think this would be cute with boots. And maybe with leggings and boots depending on how short it is in real life.

2. autumn in helsinki long cardigan

When Gulley and I went to visit Nena last weekend she had this fab crocheted long sweater vest. She can’t remember where she bought it but she knows for sure that she didn’t crochet it herself.

Anyway, I can’t quit thinking about it. And then I saw this one and, while it’s not nearly as cute, I really like it.

3. on the brink of brilliance dress

This kind of reminds me of something Carol Brady would have worn to dinner when she was hosting a dinner party for some of Mike’s architecture clients.

And I mean that as a good thing.

4. fall festival checkered vest

I am aware that my Longhorn brethren (and sisteren) are in the midst of a rough football season. Maybe this jaunty burnt orange sweater vest might ease your pain. Just because your team isn’t good doesn’t mean you can’t look good.

5. new to town necklace

Tortoiseshell things are big right now. This necklace would be great with so many fall outfits.

6. grayson bootie

I have a bootie confession to make. I ended up returning the booties I bought a month ago. In fact, I returned them on Wednesday when I realized my thirty day return period was about to be up. Which means I had to bring my sick child with me because desperate times.

But here’s what I realized. I didn’t want a flat bootie because I already have several flat boot options. What I really want is a bootie with a heel. That’s what my closet is lacking.

I just thought you should know.

7. swiss dot bell sleeve blouse

This is so pretty. I love it in black or white.

8. eversoft striped v-neck sweater

I haven’t seen these in person so I can neither confirm nor deny if they are indeed eversoft. But here’s hoping.

9. peaceful turquoise bangle set

Love this bangle set. Great colors and textures to mix and match.

10. jeepster pullover

This is one of those things I’d wear all winter long. And it comes in a bunch of great colors.

That’s it for today.

Have a great Friday.

This is a quick story from one of my dear friends, Gregg Matte. He is the head pastor at Houston’s First Baptist Church, but before that he was the founder of Breakaway Bible Study at Texas A&M.

He also happens to be the person who connected me to P back in 1995, for which I am forever grateful.

“It is only by the grace of God that you get to places you shouldn’t be.”

Is Texas A&M’s Kyle Field heaven? from Houston's First Baptist Church on Vimeo.

So I’ve been home with a sick child for the last two days. And will probably be home with her again tomorrow because the doctor diagnosed her with strep but she still has fever and is really congested in spite of the meds they prescribed.

This is problematic for two reasons. One, I hate that she feels bad. Two, I’ve realized I have a tendency to eat all day out of sheer boredom when I’m stuck at home. Case in point, I took Caroline by Starbucks to get a frappuccino yesterday and then decided to make a quick swing through the Popeye’s drive-through to get some spicy chicken tenders with a side of mashed potatoes for myself. And a biscuit. And a side of red beans and rice.

If she’s out for too many more days I’m going to need to start a cleanse.

Late Sunday evening Caroline mentioned she didn’t feel good. Sore throat and stomachache along with low grade fever made me assume strep because, even though I am not a licensed medical professional, I enjoy making a diagnosis. Her fever went up during the night and so I took her to the doctor Monday morning where they confirmed my suspicions.

We have since spent the majority of the last forty-eight hours lying on the couch in our pajamas. We’ve watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Freaky Friday, and more episodes of Penguins of Madagascar than I can even recount. In what is either a high or a low, I’ve discovered that King Julian cracks me up. He referred to the cucumbers on his eyes as “eye vegetables” and I laughed out loud for a full three minutes.

So, in conclusion, I’ve been very busy eating Popeye’s chicken and getting dumber.

I also may have passed several levels on Candy Crush.

Since I have nothing else of interest to say because I am totally out of touch with anything that involves the world outside my living room, I thought I would answer a few questions some of you asked about Monday’s post.

1. Gulley’s monogram necklace is from Carol & Company. You can find it here.

2. My necklace is from Stella and Dot. It’s the Sanibel Reversible Pendant. It’s aqua on one side and smoky quartz on the other. Plus you can wear it short or long.

3. Gulley’s crocheted top is a couple of seasons old and came from Anthropologie. But you’re in luck because I found this one that’s very similar at Zappo’s for only $47.99. And I also love this Free People top for a similar look.

4. My camo tee came from Urban Outfitters. I literally bought the last one they had online after I saw my friend Leslie wearing it, but your local store might still have them in stock. I also noticed that Target had this one in the store the other day and that J.Crew also has one but it’s sold out online.

5. There is no five. But feel free to ask me a question if you have one. Maybe I can spend time answering questions the rest of the day instead of rummaging through the refrigerator looking for another Jello Dark Chocolate pudding snack.

Oh who am I kidding? I’ll just answer questions and eat pudding at the same time.

Have a great day.