Other

I wish you all an Easter filled with joy and the happiness that only comes from the freedom we can all find in Jesus Christ and the sacrifice he made for us on the cross. Let every throne before him fall.

Please say that title to the tune of Rapper’s Delight by Sugarhill Gang.

(I don’t know why my mind works the way it does. But I appreciate your consideration in this matter.)

Well. I didn’t write anything yesterday.

Mainly because my Monday didn’t turn out like I planned. And I realize it’s now Wednesday as you’re reading this but my Monday affected my Tuesday which was yesterday.

(Should I draw a diagram? Good night.)

Anyway, around 9:00 a.m. on Monday morning I received a text from Caroline’s teacher informing all the parents that lice is going around the school and she was sending all her students to the nurse’s office to get their heads checked.

So you can imagine my horror and dismay when my phone rang ten minutes later and it was the school nurse.

“Mrs. Shankle? This is the school nurse…”

I didn’t even let her finish her sentence. “OH MY WORD DOES CAROLINE HAVE LICE?”

(I could feel myself starting to assume the fetal position.)

“No. She doesn’t have lice. She has the stomach bug.”

There has never been a time in my life when those words were like honey to my ears. (Is this a real saying? Because it sounds weird.) Give me a twelve hour stomach bug over pestilence that requires a small-tooth comb and the essence of unicorn horn to get rid of, any day of the week.

I’d signed up for a new exercise class (Oh, stay tuned for that in just a minute) at 9:45 a.m. so I cancelled my exercise reservation and drove up to the school to pick up Caroline. I went ahead and had the nurse check her for lice before we left just to make sure it hadn’t gotten all Egypt up in my house with numerous plagues.

We were clear on the lice front, but Caroline was very nauseated even though she had yet to actually throw up. I brought her home, had her change into pajamas, put her on the couch with a blanket and spent the next several hours watching her like she was a nuclear reactor. But she never threw up. In fact, she was totally fine and begging for something besides saltine crackers by 5:00 p.m.

So I decided I was going to go ahead and go out to dinner with my Birthday Club group. And when she realized it, she suddenly had a relapse. “I feel like I have a fever. Do you think I have a fever? Maybe you should stay home.”

I felt her forehead and declared her fever free. And she’d just eaten four scrambled eggs for dinner so the stomach bug was officially over. And I was in desperate need of a night out with my friends. So I went to go eat Mexican food and, lo and behold, she was totally fine.

She went back to school on Tuesday morning and I had no legitimate reason to not go to my new exercise class. It’s called Smart Barre. A bunch of my friends have been raving about it and there is nothing like trying on sleeveless shirts to make you aware of your need for more exercise than carrying in a bunch of groceries and typing on the computer, which has essentially been my regimen for the last six months. Be on the lookout for my new exercise DVD coming out soon entitled, “Here Are A Bunch of Groceries I Bought at HEB”.

Anyway, it’s a combination of ballet, yoga and pilates. How hard can that be? Isn’t that just some stretching or something?

Yes. If they have stretching in hell.

You know how sometimes you work out and you can feel your muscles start to shake in the middle of something? That was me. There was a point where I had to lift two pound weights (I don’t mean to brag about my impressive strength) until my triceps (I just googled “What are the muscles on the backs of your arms called?) were about to charley horse. I really thought I was about to shame my family name by dropping to my mat and writhing in pain and agony while singing out Swing Low, Sweet Chariots.

If you’ve read this blog for, I don’t know, four or five minutes, you might know that I have a tendency to exaggerate. But not this time. Even as I type this I can feel my triceps trying to cramp up and I had no idea typing even required the use of triceps.

But it wasn’t just my arms. We worked our glutes and our quads and our abs. I thought of a lot of bad words in my head when I had to semi-recline on a rubber ball and work some muscle in my stomach that I had never even been acquainted with prior to that point.

I signed up for the whole month because I knew it would make me feel like I have to go. And so I’m going back again tomorrow.

That is, if I don’t get stuck on the toilet because my quads quit working when I sit down. Because it’s not like my triceps could help me up. They aren’t going to be of any use to me for at least the next thirty-six hours. Or perhaps ever again.

Which I think translates to an inability to go grocery shopping because OH THE SHOPPING BAGS.

Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Before I ramble on for at least a thousand words trying to make our weekend seem more interesting than it really was, I just need you to know that I’ve been sitting here for the last hour with a damp sleeve. And it’s very annoying. But apparently not annoying enough for me to get up and do something about it. I’ll probably end up with a diaper rash on my arm.

Maybe you’re wondering how my sleeve got damp. Or maybe you’re thinking that if I’m starting off with a non-story about the current state of my clothing that it doesn’t really bode well for the rest of this post. You are correct.

My sleeve got wet while I was wiping down the kitchen countertops. But I’m wearing my favorite sweatshirt thing that I wear every night and I didn’t want to change because it’s so comfortable. Except for the part where the sleeve is wet.

But enough about that.

(And the crowd said HALLELUJAH)

We had a nice little weekend around here. On Friday I brought lunch to Caroline at school and then went to Target. I was hoping to try on some cute sandals that I’d seen online, but they didn’t have them in the store. I’m not sure what’s going on with our new neighborhood Target but I am seriously disappointed in their shoe selection. I don’t know if it’s just the one by our house or if it’s Target in general right now. Part of me wants to explore it further except that that would require me to drive seven extra stoplights to a different Target and I don’t care that much.

After I left Target I picked up Gulley’s boys from school. I saw my friend Leslie picking up her daughter and she informed me that almost one hundred kids had been out from their school that day with the stomach bug. Cue my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So I loaded Jackson and Will into my car and told them it would probably be a good idea for them to wash their hands thoroughly as soon as we got to my house. Perhaps a bleach shower for good measure.

We picked up Caroline and then the kids played while Gulley and I visited for the next couple of hours. And then they left but we had big plans to spend Saturday afternoon together at the Little League Fields since it was Opening Day and we wanted to watch the boys play baseball.

Then P got home from work and we decided to just pick up Mexican food for dinner because we were all tired after a long week and just wanted to relax. So we caught up on all the news over tacos and guacamole and enchiladas and then Caroline decided she wanted to go climb a tree in the backyard because isn’t that what everyone wants to do after a big Mexican food dinner?

But she came in a few minutes later and announced she’d gotten a splinter. Which led to an impromptu surgical session on the kitchen island where she exhibited my propensity for drama by declaring, “OW, OW, OW! THAT HURTS!” before P ever got the knife anywhere near her. However, I can’t judge because I am the worst. The absolute worst. There is no bigger chicken than me concerning all health-related issues that could potentially cause pain.

And speaking of health-related issues, we spent the rest of the night catching up on part three of The Bible series and I could have lived forever not seeing King Herod with those leeches on him. Good night of living. It was like a horror show.

On Saturday morning I woke up to a text from Gulley informing me that both her boys came down with the stomach bug overnight and there would be no baseball. I was not only so sad for them, but sad for us because I spent the rest of the day feeling a little bit like Caroline and I might be ticking time bombs. Every bite of food I ate was like a roll of the dice wondering if it was about to become a food I might never be able to eat again.

(Spoiler alert: As of this moment none of us have gotten the stomach bug. Thanks be to God.)

Caroline had a soccer game at 10:30 that morning. And in typical Texas fashion the weather was supposed to be in the 90s later that day but was only in the 60s with a strong wind and some drizzle at game time. Which made it feel like it was approximately FREEZING degrees outside. But the game was incredible. It was like Caroline had all this stored up energy and aggression from two weeks spent in a boot and she had the game of her life. Every time I looked up she was diving for the ball or sliding to get to the ball or running down the field dribbling the ball. At one point she kept shooting for the goal until she and the goalie both ended up on the ground and the goalie had a mouth full of dirt. I’ve never seen her that intense.

Girlfriend had the eye of the tiger.

Clearly it skipped a generation.

After the game she went home with her friend Ella. And I went to the grocery store because I am forty-one and I guess that’s what life becomes. Especially when you’ve spent the whole week before trying to avoid making a big trip to the store.

Then I came home and caught up on a few things around the house while P went to a gun show because OF COURSE. And then Caroline and Ella, along with Ella’s parents, came over and P grilled quail and sausage for dinner. I boiled some eggs for the girls to dye because I felt like this killed two birds with one stone, festive Easter fun plus stuff to make egg salad for lunch this week.

On Sunday morning I woke up with a little bit of a headache thanks to a cold front that blew through and brought every drop of pollen it could find with it. And so we slept in and then I took some Advil and a Sudafed. And then I lamented the sad state of my March Madness bracket.

I’m looking at you, Gonzaga and Georgetown.

And that was our weekend. Otherwise known as how to bore people out of their minds in 1027 words.

I have to tell you that I’m ready for the weekend. The first week back at school after Spring Break is a little jarring to the system. Especially because Caroline brought home some math homework that involved changing improper fractions to mixed numbers.

That sound you heard was my head exploding.

Numbers are not my gift.

Unless it’s figuring out what 30% off $49.99 equals.

Except that’s not true. Even then I just kind of round up to my best guess. That’s why I think everything costs $15.00.

Anyway, I’m glad it’s Friday. And this could not be more random, but if your name happens to be Amy and you emailed me this week about a CURE luncheon and are reading this, would you please email me again. I tried to respond to you, but the email address you gave me was invalid.

Thank you.

And now for some cute things:

1. lace glory dress

I think this is really pretty in a white, floaty kind of way.

2. jersey tank dress

I walked in Old Navy the other day and saw these on the rack and decided they would be perfect for summer. Even if you just wear them over your swimsuit. And they’re on sale.

3. braidey sandals

How cute are these? I feel like I need them in my life.

4. fit and flare tee dresses

This is another Old Navy dress that would be great for summer for those of us who like a sleeve.

5. patterned wedge heels

Yes. These. Please look at that small turquoise stripe that makes them extra fabulous.

6. knit maxi dress

Gulley bought a dress like this last summer and I was a little bit envious every time she wore it. It’s so cute and also great with a denim jacket over it.

7. romantics sunshine dropwaist

I can see this over a pair of skinny white jeans. I love it. And it’s always a bonus when something at Free People is on sale. It’s like seeing a unicorn.

8. drapey 3/4 sleeve blouse

I love this color. I love the style. I can totally see it with white jeans and turquoise jewelry.

9. metroplex chevron tank

I realize there is no picture of this, so I’ll tell you it’s bright orange with a chevron detail. It would look adorable with white shorts this summer.

10. soccer mom dress

I would never actually wear this to a soccer game, but I do like it a lot. Love the fun patterns and colors for spring and summer.

And that’s it for today.

Y’all have a great Friday.

Y’all.

I am so excited about today.

Do you remember when I wrote about my living room and the transformation that Holly Mathis helped me make?

I mentioned that one of my very favorite things is this sign I had custom made by Andrew and Tara Lowry at Between You and Me Signs.

Later that day, they emailed me and asked if I’d be interested in giving away one of their signs to one of my readers.

Umm. How quickly can I email back YES?

Because look how great they are.

The winner can choose one of the signs from their Etsy shop or you have the option to have one custom made. I honestly can’t express how much I love mine. It may be my favorite thing in my whole house right now.

And I’m so excited that one of you will win one for your house. Or your beach house. Wherever you want. I’m not the boss of you.

Here are the official entry rules:

1. Leave a comment on this post. I’d love to know if you have a favorite quote or scripture you might use if you win or if you’d pick one of the ones from the Between You and Me store.

There’s no right answer, I’m just nosy.

2. One comment per person please. Duplicates will be deleted and make my life difficult.

3. Due to cost, this contest is only eligible for shipping in the continental U.S.

4. I’ll keep comments open until Sunday night and then email the winner.

Y’all have a great day! And good luck!

Spring Break is over.

Well, technically it’s not over yet because I’m writing this on Sunday night. But it will be over in about ten hours when the alarm goes off and I have to reconcile my new reality with Daylight Saving Time. I was able to put it off for a week, but you and I both know that will serve as small consolation when I’m packing a lunch while it’s still dark outside.

On the bright side, our week ended on a high note after starting off as one of the more crappy Spring Breaks in recent memory. Or ever.

Wednesday afternoon Gulley and I got a text from our friend Tiff letting us know she and her family were coming into town and wondering if there was a time we could all get together. Our calendar was pretty wide open thanks to the onset of the plague early in the week, so we made plans to meet for lunch on Thursday.

It was the perfect afternoon. The weather was gorgeous and we sat outside and ate Mexican food while the kids ran around and played together.

Tiff even brought her copies of Sparkly Green Earrings for me to sign.

And then we took a group shot of all the kids.

We try to do that every time we’re together, but it had been a long time because it’s rare that we have all the kids with us at the same time. I’m feeling a little nostalgic so I just went and found the other group picture of them that’s framed in Caroline’s room.

Yeah. So that’s been a few years ago.

The fat baby is Will who’s now eight. And Tiff’s youngest son, Zeke, wasn’t even on the radar.

And then we took a group shot of the three of us because of course.

Then, because like I said, I’m feeling nostalgic I found this picture of us in one of the many quilted photo scrapbooks I made in college.

Yeah. So that’s been a few years ago.

That’s Jen, Tiff, Gulley and me in 1991. Please note our wind shorts. And Jen’s Dooney and Bourke purse that I envied for the bulk of 1990-91. It should also be noted that the car in the background was Gulley’s dad’s red Chevy Blazer that he let us drive to Baton Rouge for a baseball tournament. In retrospect I can’t believe he trusted us that much. Also, he probably shouldn’t have.

Anyway, it was great to see Tiff. The best friends are the ones that have known you since you thought it was important to wear sliding shorts under your wind shorts.

Then later that night Gulley and I took the kids to see some of Jackson’s friends play in a band because what’s not to love about some eleven-year-old boys doing a cover of Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne? Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye.

On Friday, P and Caroline headed down to the ranch because P was hosting a big shoot out weekend for the Sportsmen’s group at our church.

Gulley’s husband took their boys down there too which meant that Gulley and I ended our day with pedicures while our people were down at the ranch shooting guns and fishing and camping out. I’m pretty sure we got the better end of the deal.

Especially when I tell you that they ended their trip hunting down and shooting a six foot rattlesnake.

You can tell Caroline was absolutely terrified. This is the same child who freaked out because a mayfly got in the house last week. I don’t understand.

Meanwhile, Gulley and I had our toes painted in colors reminiscent of Easter Eggs. I went out on a pedicure limb and went with OPI’s Do You Lilac It? I have to say I’m a fan.

But here’s what went wrong with our pedicures.

I realize that part of the charm of the nail salon is how they like to give you the up-sell. Do you want the regular or deluxe pedicure? Would you like a manicure too? How about a paraffin wax dip?

No thank you. Just the regular pedicure, please.

That’s when they go for the jugular. Would you like your lip waxed?

See? Now you’ve just hurt my feelings.

But it was what happened after the lip wax offer that really got me. She looked right at me and said, “You want your eyebrows waxed? I make them look really nice, not bushy.”

Ma’am. I have dedicated the better part of the last six months growing out my eyebrows to look like this. I spent actual American dollars on an eyebrow serum called Talika to make them grow. And now you’re telling me you can make them look nice, not bushy?

You know what I say to that? That eyebrow serum totally works. And, also, STAY AWAY from my eyebrows. I am on the cusp of a Brooke Shields moment.

But all was forgiven by the time my pedicure was over because she was a big fan of the lilac color I chose. I told Gulley I think she even wanted to hug me but I wasn’t sure and I hated to go in for the hug if I was reading her signals wrong because that might make things awkward.

Kind of like asking someone if they want their lip waxed.

******

Just a reminder: I’m signing books at Adelante Boutique in the Pearl Brewery tonight (Monday) from 5-7 p.m.