Year: 2006

They had mismatched manger scenes at unbelievably low prices

I mentioned in my Christmas home tour that my nativity had gone missing. Since it has yet to appear, I went shopping yesterday to scout out possible replacements that could be purchased at after Christmas sales.

I went in a couple of stores and ended up in one of my favorite little boutiques where I found the sweet little nativity pictured above. As I studied it, the store manager walked up to me and said that for good customers they were offering 50% off on all Christmas items before Christmas.

Well, that’s all I needed to hear.

So, I joyfully clutched this little nativity to my chest and paid 50% of its retail price. It was an unexpected gift.

It reminded me that this time of year is about unexpected gifts. Some are nice things like sugar cookies left on your doorstep by a neighbor and others are items that will find a home in the attic until the crazy aunt that gave it to you comes to visit. But most importantly, the reason we celebrate, the reason for our hope is about the most unexpected gift of all.

No one was looking for the son of God to be born into such lowly conditions. The Jewish people were looking for a king that would save them from their oppression, not a baby born in a stable to a mother who probably had a questionable reputation by that point.

From our perspective, over 2,000 years later, we can look at scriptures like Isaiah 53: 2-12 and see that all of this was prophesied, but at that time I’m sure it just didn’t make any sense.

He was an unexpected gift, born in an unexpected way and continued to defy expectations during His time here on Earth. My prayer for all of y’all during this holiest of seasons, is that He would surpass your expectations both at Christmas and throughout the New Year.

I know that personally, He never ceases to surpass mine.

Merry Christmas.

But the angel said to them,

“Do not be afraid.

I bring you good news of a great joy

that will be for all the people.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you;

He is Christ the Lord.”
Just because it freezes beautifully, don’t mean it’s edible

Many years ago (almost five to be exact), before Gulley left the official work force to become a stay at home mom, she worked in what we affectionately referred to as “the cube” in a large office building. She supervised a group of employees, who for the most part, proved that anyone can get a job if they are in the right place at the right time. As happy as I was for Gulley when she left that job to raise her baby, I was sad for myself because there is no better comedy to be found.

One of her employees was Sister (no relation to Boomama’s Sister) and no, her name wasn’t actually Sister, but it’s how she referred to herself at all times. Sister was the subject of so many hysterical stories that I’ve lost count of all of them. Let’s just say that I called Gulley in the cube on a daily basis to hear the latest Sister story, and there always was one, because Sister wasn’t afraid to say things like “Girl, Sister needs to get some work done on her hemorrhoids”. She also held the distinction of making 364 personal calls in one month. Apparently, Sister had some personal business that needed taking care of.

Anyway, I tell y’all this to tell you the story of Sister and some words of wisdom that we still quote to this day because it really applies this time of year. At the company where Gulley worked, people were always bringing food from home to share with others in the break room. This was especially common during the holidays.

The Christmas that Gulley was pregnant, she walked into the breakroom and there sat Sister who was busy taking a break from all those personal calls. Gulley went to fix a plate of food and Sister said “Girl, you’re pregnant. Don’t go eating off in somebody else deep freeze. You don’t know what people do in their deep freeze. Cheryl brought sausage balls and girlfriend don’t even wash her hands after she goes to the bathroom.”

This time of year, I can’t help but think of Sister’s wise words as I attend holiday functions and look at all the food sitting out. Then, today P called his mama and it seems that she thinks someone dropped something off in her deep freeze out in the garage because there is something in there and she doesn’t know what it is, so obviously someone else put it there and she’s going to throw it away.

P told her to thaw it out and find out what it is before she throws it away, but since she’s convinced some hooligans are wreaking havoc on her deep freeze by placing random objects in it, she’s going to go ahead and get rid of it.

It’s probably for the best since you never know what people do in their own deep freeze, much less someone else’s.

She called back later to report that the unknown item has mysteriously disappeared. So, it seems that someone just borrowed her deep freeze for a while and has now probably taken the mystery item to a party in their office break room.
A veritable Christmas potpourri of thoughts

A few notes of interest (and I use the term interest lightly).

1. I mentioned back in the summer that Gulley and I found out that Emily Robison is a member of our neighborhood pool. Sadly, she left on tour with the Dixie Chicks before we were able to strike up a lifelong friendship and become galpals. But, good news! She is back in town and our friend Julie has spotted her two days in a row. In case any of y’all are interested, she was shopping at Michael’s and bought a basketful of white and silver ornaments.

2. P came home from the ranch today with nothing short of a pure chigger infestation. It really looks lovely. I spent a better part of the afternoon painting him with fingernail polish while Caroline “helped”. Does fingernail polish really even work for chiggers? I guess we’ll know tomorrow.

3. I think I’ve made the momentous decision to let Caroline get a pet fish from Santa. She has been asking for one for awhile. I feel fairly sure that the fish won’t make it to see the New Year, especially since she asked if Santa could also bring a net, but at .99 cents it’s worth a try.

4. I had an appointment with Dr. Evil today, also known as my orthodontist. One of the best parts of these visits is his assistant who watches what he’s doing the whole time and makes helpful comments like, “Oh! That’s going to really hurt!”. She also asks me everytime if I’d like my wires in bright holiday colors. Oh yes, please and then we’ll wire my jaw shut so no one will see them.

He put a new steel wire on my bottom teeth and told me to wear rubber bands in the shape of a triangle because who really needs to eat during Christmas?

Best of all, the rubber bands give the whole look that extra something special.

5. Yesterday afternoon a man knocked on my front door. I didn’t open the door and just looked through our little window in the door to find out what he wanted. He explained that he was a painter and asked if he could drop his business card in our mailbox. He said that he was driving by and noticed our garage “looks terrible”. Thank you, thank you very much. Merry Christmas to you.

6. Caroline woke up this morning and broke all the rules for Santa’s upcoming visit. She pouted, she cried, she whined. Apparently the whole universe is conspiring against her this morning because we are out of pop-tarts and hot dogs. I don’t know who this is hardest on, but I feel like it’s me.

7. Bops came by yesterday evening wearing a very festive t-shirt with a huge, cartoonish depiction of Rudolph on the front from a 10k run that he participated in back in 1992. So, yes I come by my tendency to hold on to clothing very honestly. But, like he said, it looks brand new because he only wears it during the Christmas season. That’s right, Bops has seasonal apparel.

I am so sorry that I didn’t take a picture of it because words can’t do it justice. I love that he would wear a shirt like that just to make Caroline happy which has to be the reason he had it on…it definitely wasn’t because it’s stylish.

8. Last, but not least, we exchanged Christmas presents with Gulley’s kids today. On the way there, Caroline asked “Where’s Gulley’s present?” and I told her we don’t get Gulley a present. She said “Oh poor Gulley, we should get her a lobster”.

Because yes, that’s the gift on everyone’s list this year.

Here she is in her fancy new dress and shoes that Gulley bought. It’s only a matter of time before this ensemble makes an appearance at the neighborhood HEB.
Gratuitous holiday cuteness

In the last week, Caroline has had two big performances. The first was her school’s re-enactment of the nativity and she was one member of a herd of cows.

Obviously, she was thrilled.

The best part of the whole show was at the end when the school director told all the kids to take a bow. No one made a move to actually bow so the director commented, “Well, I guess they’re all too humble.”

No sooner had she said it, than I looked up and saw Caroline bowing away. In the words of the immortal Mac Davis, “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble”.

Her second performance of the week was at her tap and ballet class. Here is a picture of her showing off a sweet move that guarantees we share DNA.

She also was completely obsessed with the video camera so now I have an abundance of video with her telling me to “turn the screen around so I can see myself” and then once she sees herself, the ham comes out in full force. It doesn’t even matter that she’s not doing any of the same steps as the rest of her class, she just knows she looks good.

And she’s right.
Back in the days when department store Santas were a dime a dozen

I came across these pictures the other day and thought since it’s Christmas time and all, I would share them with y’all.

The first is a picture of me with Santa when I was about 2 1/2 years old. Legend has it that my mom had run into Sears to pick up an order, turned around and I was gone. She searched frantically until she looked up and noticed me sitting on Santa’s lap.

I love this story even more now because it tells me how much Caroline is like her mama. I wasn’t a cup pourer either. I was ready to meet some folk.

The second picture is my favorite because it’s obvious that this wasn’t a planned trip to see Santa. Please note my sister’s footy pajamas and the rollers in my hair. In all fairness, I did spend over 3/4 of my childhood with pink foam rollers in my hair, but they were usually removed in time for any social occasion.

I’m also particularly fond of my all denim ensemble and the tough guy vibe I’m putting out. I’m five, I’m in kindergarten, I can count to ten in Spanish…don’t mess with me.

And is it just me or does that Santa look a little shifty? It’s like he sees an officer of the law out of the corner of his eye and is starting to get a little nervous.

Another thing about these vintage 70’s Santas (other than their sweet, sweet white thrones with red pom pom fringe) is that they have obviously fake beards. The one at the top looks like he took his girlfriend’s wig from her Diana Ross Halloween costume, dyed it white and stuck in on his face.

As for the one at the bottom, the more I look at him, the more I’m convinced he might have been a member of the witness protection program.
Next up by Mattel…the Barbie free clinic

Now that my shopping is all done, I can tell y’all what Caroline is getting for Christmas. I debated for a long time over what Santa should bring on Christmas Eve. One of the reasons for this is that Caroline has asked for everything from a big, blue grownup car to a copy of herself. That’s right, she asked me for a copy of herself.

Self esteem is not an issue for my girl.

Anyway, I had originally thought that I would get her some type of Leapster/V-smile educational computer type toy. Then, when I was out shopping I discovered Star Station which is basically a karaoke machine that also allows your child to see themselves on television while singing and dancing.

I decided the heck with education, let’s give her the gift that will keep on giving and teach her skills that will really be useful for the future, singing and dancing in front of a television audience.

And technically, it is a way to give her a copy of herself, which is what she asked for.

As I was making my way down the various toy aisles in search of gifts, I spent a lot of time on the Barbie aisle. Caroline had told Santa that she wanted a Barbie, so I looked at all the different choices and decided on the one I thought she would like the best, which also happened to be the one that came with the least amount of small accessories ( my gift to myself). While on the Barbie aisle, I couldn’t help but notice that Barbie now has a Hot Tub Party Bus.

A Hot Tub Party Bus.

What decade is this? Isn’t the Hot Tub Party Bus a remnant from the 70’s that shouldn’t exist anymore much like hairy men in white suits with gold chains?

Do I really want my little girl to grow up thinking that someday a good source of entertainment will be to ride around in a party bus with a hot tub filled with co-eds and bacteria? It’s like a big petri dish on wheels. Growing up, I was always told that nothing good happens after midnight and I’m almost certain that no good can come from traveling in a Hot Tub Party Bus.

I think we’ll stick to Barbie’s Pretty Pony Horse Stable or even the Barbie Winnebago. I’m thinking I’d much rather have Caroline dream of the day she can drive cross-country in her own R.V. than a Hot Tub Party Bus.

Oh, Barbie….I am so ashamed.