Year: 2006

  • Go ahead caller

    My dear readers, I received this email today and since I do like to keep my readers happy I will do my best to fulfill this request.

    Dear Big Mama,
    Can you please help some of us lesser fashionistas through this season’s
    scary fashions on your blog? I know you write what comes to you, but I am
    totally distressed by my August issue of InStyle. I believe you have already
    covered the skinny jean. But no one else seems bothered by the resurgence of
    the suspender, the jeans tucked into boots, the mini mini dresses, or the
    pencil skirt. I am totally bothered by these fashions and have found myself
    so overwrought I am needing direction. I am betting so do many other of your
    readers.
    Love,
    Gulley
    PS – Consider this your first, “From our readers”

    Let me first say how excited I was to get an email from a faithful reader, especially one that I had just gotten off the phone with not 10 minutes before I received this request.

    Now before y’all get all excited about getting some fall fashion tips from me (apparently I’m a “greater” fashionista) let me tell you what qualifies me to give fashion advice…not necessarily anything. However, for most of my life I have been known to meticulously plan out my outfit for any given occasion. All of my college girlfriends will tell you that my first question upon learning of any event is “What am I going to wear?” I promise that if the White House called tomorrow to tell me that I had been elected President of the United States, my first thought would be “Oh my good gracious, what on earth will I wear to the inaugural ball?” I will not argue with you if you are now questioning my depth as a human being.

    First and foremost, I will refer you to my friend Boomama who did a brilliant job of detailing her fear of this 80’s fashion resurgence. Boomama knows that anyone who lived through the 80’s will not be quick to jump back into that train wreck.

    So without further ado, I hope to shed a little light, insight and wisdom into this perilous fashion landscape.

    As Moms (which I’m assuming most of us are) the best thing you can do for yourself is to get yourself a good stylish pair of jeans. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT purchase any pair of jeans with a waistband that is above your belly button. You don’t have to be Britney Spears and have it all hanging out, but give your figure a fighting chance and create a longer line with a lower waist.

    Now y’all know I’m not going to recommend the skinny leg because I like all of you very much. What I will suggest is maybe a smaller bootcut or even a straight leg jean with a little bit of stretch. I bought a pair of 7 jeans last spring and while they were pricey they were worth every penny. I’ll give you a money saving tip if you want some pricier jeans, go try them on at the department stores or trendy boutiques, figure out your size and look for them on Ebay. Ebay will be your best friend if you’re trying to save some money.

    If you want an up to the minute look to wear with your great jeans, you can’t go wrong with a feminine frilly blouse. That’s right, I just said blouse for lack of a better term. A silk type blouse with some ruffles or lace detail is perfect with jeans for a night out. And Clinton and Stacy know what they’re talking about when they suggest a structured jacket. It’s a great look with jeans and looks great on everyone.

    For those of us in our 30’s, I think that it’s important to know when to say when. I personally wore miniskirts with leggings twenty years ago and won’t be going back. However, I do think a pair of leggings with a pretty knit tunic type top and some flats would be a nice, practical outfit. Do not think that when I say flats I’m talking about those hideous faux leather things that we all wore (y’all know you did). I’m thinking of a fun leopard print or something with some cute details.

    If you’re looking for a new bag, think soft and unstructured (kind of like this post). A metallic one or a really pretty brown would be super trendy and I’ll tell you the great thing about this season’s bags, you can get one at Target that looks the same as one you can buy at Neimans (sorry Hite, but it’s true). They are unidentifiable, no logos or name brands to worry about.

    For great pieces to update your wardrobe, Target is the place to go. Target is to the year 2006, what Contempo Casuals (how about it Birthday Club?) was to 1987. You can find fun, trendy things including cute jeans, tops, structured jackets and shoes at low, low prices.

    As far as the suspenders that were mentioned in the email…unless pregnancy was kinder to y’all than it was to me, I’m thinking that suspenders just don’t really work anymore. Leave them at the store with the micro minis.

    A few more tips (I know, it’s like manna from heaven) red accessories are totally in right now and charcoal gray is the new black. Black is also the new black, so see you have options.

    Just remember, you can wear jeans tucked into your boots if it looks good on you. You can wear a miniskirt (just not too short and preferably with opaque tights which are also very in this season) if you feel comfortable, or you can say to heck with it and wear big sweatshirts and yoga pants everyday. That’s the beauty of living through these fashions for the second time, we can take what we want and leave the rest. It’s the wisdom that comes from no longer being in your teens and early twenties. We are free from the peer pressure to encase ourselves in anything that has acid in the name and we can sleep peacefully without the crunching of crispy, Aquanet bangs on our pillow.

  • Speaking of belles of the ball

    Last night was Caroline’s big debut at Cat and Dave’s wedding. A ham is born. She strolled down that aisle only taking time to turn so that she could make sure everyone was admiring her. I don’t know where that comes from.

    The two ringbearers walked straight to their mamas, but oh no not Caroline. She went right up and stood with the bridesmaids until it was time for her to come sit with me. She knew that candy awaited so the minute she sat down a feeding frenzy of marshmallows, lifesaver gummies, and M&M’s began. It was our version of the Holy Trinity for the 25 minutes the service lasted.

    Her daddy was performing the ceremony, so all I could think about was how embarrassing it would be if she got too loud and I had to take the walk of shame down the longest center aisle known to man to get us out of there. But our sugar fueled bribe worked perfectly and I got to enjoy the whole service. P. did a great job and I’m not even being biased.

    After the ceremony, they took pictures and Caroline announced that she was “a little bit TI-Red” but we headed off to the reception. She thought it was a great party, even though they didn’t have a pinata. It was an outside reception and other than the heat (good gracious, the heat) it was beautiful! There were twinkle lights everywhere and it looked like a fairytale.

    We danced for awhile, but inevitably our little flower girl started to wilt. Mimi and Bops tried to get her to come to their house, but at that point she was beyond overtired and overstimulated. So, P. and I brought her home and got her to bed about 11:15 and didn’t hear a peep out of her until 6:15 this morning when she decided she was up for the day. Can you say the law of diminishing returns?

    Bops told her at the end of the night what a good job she did and said “I could just eat you up!” and she told him “Bops, you don’t eat kids, just food.” But seriously, isn’t she so sweet that you could sop her up with a biscuit?

  • You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

    Tonight our good friends Cat and Dave are getting married. P. is performing the ceremony and Caroline is the flower girl. I’m just in charge of keeping the flower girl quiet after her moment in the sun is over. May God have mercy on my soul.

    Last night, after a rehearsal at the church that involved Caroline showing her aisle “walking” skills that basically looked more like a 50 yard dash and saying that maybe she might do a flip, Caroline went to go spend the night with her Mimi and Bops while P. and I went to the rehearsal dinner and got to have a genuine adult night out.

    Okay, total change of story but the adult night out made me think of a Gulley story. When Gulley’s sister Sarah got married 2 years ago, Gulley and her husband were hanging out with Sarah’s friends after the rehearsal dinner and Gulley said “I don’t think we’re going to go out. We’re just going to go back to the hotel, get in bed and watch an ADULT movie!” All of Sarah’s friends were wondering why anyone would admit such a thing and Gulley had to rethink and explain what she meant was a GROWN UP movie that didn’t include any characters named Nemo.

    Are you still with me? So back to the original story. The rehearsal dinner last night was one of my favorite rehearsal dinners ever. I know that a large part of that is because we have known Cat and Dave since they were kids. We’ve watched them grow up, start dating, get engaged and plan their future. They were at the hospital when Caroline was born and are just so special to P. and me. They both come from incredible families that are so open, loving and kind.

    Cat’s sister had put together a slide show for the dinner and y’all I was so teary I couldn’t even see straight. I kept watching the pictures of Cat as a baby and a toddler and I’d look over at her daddy and the look on his face told me that he can’t believe how fast the time has gone by. Cat’s the baby of the family, but she’s the first one to get married. Her older brother and sister got up to give a toast and what they said was so sweet that I told P. it made me want to go home and conceive a sibling for Caroline as soon as possible. And that’s saying something.

    So here I am wiping my eyes with a napkin made of the roughest material known to man, when her daddy gets up to give his toast. I have always been a daddy’s girl myself and now that I have a daughter…I’m just a sucker for Daddys and daughters. His speech was perfect. He tried to find a book for Dave on How to Train a Cat, but when he went to the pet store, they told him those books don’t exist because, “Sir, you can’t train a cat.” He said he’d known that for years and wished Dave good luck. But then he said something I’ll never forget. He thanked Cat and Dave’s mamas. He said “People talk about how it takes a village to raise a child, but that’s not true. It takes a mama to turn these kids into what they have become, so to Cindy and Sandy thank you for raising such exceptional children”. As a mother, does anything inspire you more?

    After the dinner, all of the young people (of which P. and I are a part although we’re at least 7 years older than everyone else, but we hold on to the fantasy)decided to go to a bar somewhere so we could hang out and maybe dance. Now keep in mind that we’re a REAL wild bunch so we had no idea where any bars were or that you had to have I.D. to get in. So after a few failed attempts, we left downtown and headed to a bar closer to home so everyone could get their I.D.s.

    Y’all I was dancing to Hollaback Girl at 1:30 this morning. I don’t even remember the last time I was up at 1:30 a.m. when it didn’t involve a toddler and a bad dream. P. and I busted a move on the dance floor and probably confirmed why people in their mid-30’s shouldn’t really be at cool, trendy bars because we didn’t care how we looked. And do I have to tell you that when they played 867-5309 that I was yelling all the words to the song? Oh yes, yes I was.

    At one point last night, P. and I were talking to one of our girlfriends and creepy old guy (you know the guy that lives at the bars and doesn’t realize maybe life has passed him by?) came up to P. and said “Dude, what kind of cologne do you wear?” P. is hard of hearing in the best circumstances so he looked at the guy and said “What?” and creepy, old guy said “What kind of cologne do you wear because you’ve got these ladies swarming around you?” Can I get a collective EWWWWW from the crowd?

    Anyway, it was a great night and the best part is we get to do it again tonight at the wedding reception except this time we’ll have our little flower girl/dancing queen with us. And to Cat and Dave…We wish you all of God’s richest blessings today and forever.

  • ABC is my new must see T.V.

    ABC is running a new promo for the fall telling us to Feel Thursdays. Y’all I am feeling it because Thursday is the new night for Grey’s Anatomy this fall.

    I can’t even watch the promo without wanting to cry at the sight of Izzie in her gorgeous, pink dress being carried by Alex after Denny died with that song by Snow Patrol playing in the background. Then when they show McDreamy looking at Meredith…gives me chills. Can I just say I love this show?

    So if you’re looking for me on September 21st, don’t call during primetime. I’ll be feeling Thursdays.

  • Ain’t nobody gonna talk to my mama like that

    Tonight’s Project Runway was a perfect example of why the average woman has a hard time finding clothes. The majority of the designers had no idea how to design an outfit for a woman larger than a size 6.

    I loved when they brought out the designers’ mothers for the challenge and it was a great twist to not pair them with their child. I started the show really liking Jeffrey when I saw his mama and she cried about how far he had come. It made me want to see him do well…and then he turned on us. I thought the way he treated Angela’s mother was terrible. So while I felt bad for Jeffrey’s mama, I quit cheering for him about 3 minutes after I’d had my initial change of heart.

    I cracked up when Vincent said Ulli’s mom had a “European air” seeing as how she is FROM Germany, but he surprised me and designed a very nice dress. I still think he isn’t nearly as talented as some of the others, but this week he did a good job. Ulli’s design for Kayne’s mother was beautiful and my personal favorite. As usual, Michael did a nice job and I liked his mama!

    Robert’s dress for Vincent’s sister was really bad, but in my opinion Jeffrey’s outfit for Angela’s mother was the worst. Bless her heart she looked so uncomfortable and when she had her chance to talk to the judges she threw him under the bus and so did Angela. I thought he deserved it though, because there was no excuse for how rude he was. I was hoping he’d go because I’m sick of his attitude towards everyone. Oh his poor, poor mama.

    And Sister, you were right…Laura is pregnant with her 6th child. She’s a great designer but fashion, shmashion…she’s probably doing this whole thing for the free vacation.

  • Pizza Box Meme

    I was tagged for this meme by Barb at A Chelsea Morning, so here it goes.

    1.What was your favorite thing about being a kid?

    I loved the last day of school and knowing that you had a whole long lazy summer in front of you. I remember riding my bike to our neighborhood pool with my gang of girlfriends knowing that all we had to do was remember to be home by dark. We’d go up to the 7-11 and load up on enough candy to last us all day long and spend the rest of the day practicing our flips off the diving board.

    2. What was your favorite subject in school?

    English, without a doubt. I loved that I got to read great books and write papers about them. I always had great English teachers who instilled a love of reading and writing. I will say that Algebra II was the bane of my existence, and I can hardly type the word Geometry without breaking out into a cold sweat and wanting to cry.

    3. Who was your best friend when you were 10?

    Caroline Fletcher. She lived two houses down from us and was one year older. I thought she was the coolest thing that ever lived. We had our own girl gang (kind of like the Pink Ladies) but we wore red satin jackets that our moms bought us at Weiners. She had a jukebox at her house and if we played Jive Talking by the Bee Gees once, we played it a million times. I also remember that we both wore our hair feathered and spent alot of time turning our heads upside down so we could flip our hair back. I never looked as cool as she did though. I lost touch with her after she moved and would love to know where she is now.

    4. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

    I would be one of my dad and stepmom’s dogs. They get to live inside, sleep on an incredibly comfortable bed and basically live a life of luxury with no responsibility, except for barking at the mailman. Not that I want to bark at the mailman, but I’m just saying they feel like it is their responsibility so I would carry on the tradition.

    5. What would you change about your school, occupation, life right now?

    Honestly, nothing. I’m pretty content and feel very blessed with what I have. If I could get Caroline to remember to use the potty EVERY time she needs to go that would be fabulous, but we’ll get there.

    6. What’s your favorite color?

    Depends on what it’s on. I like sage greens, sky blues, and pink if it’s that perfect shade between light and hot.

    7. What’s your favorite type of crust and topping on a pizza?

    I don’t want to sound all snobby and sophisticated but the pizza I love the most is a frozen Tombstone with pepperoni. One night a week, P. is gone and I love to bake myself a Tombstone and eat it while drinking an ice cold Corona with lime while watching some girly show on T.V. like the Gilmore Girls. I know most of y’all will think that’s disgusting, but it’s what I like. My relationship with pizza is complex and I go through times where I will even think that I hate pizza. It’s just a weird quirk. But when and if I do decide to eat pizzeria pizza, it absolutely must have thin, crispy crust. Anything else is just a travesty.

    So there you have it and it’s probably more information than you wanted to know! Anyone else up for doing this meme? Consider yourself tagged.