Year: 2006

  • One week later…paci rehab

    As y’all know, last Tuesday we got rid of Caroline’s pacis. She has done incredibly well and hasn’t even asked for them, so I basically dodged a bullet on this one.

    Last week, we went to this really cool neighborhood toy store because I had promised that once the pacis were gone, she could pick out a new big girl toy, whatever she wanted. This is what she picked.

    This is further proof that she does indeed have only 50% of my DNA because she obviously hasn’t developed her Mama’s ability to find the most expensive thing in the store. And in case you’re wondering what that is, as near as I can tell it’s a green, squishy ball type thing that you can throw or wear on your head like a mohawk type wig. Seriously.

  • An extravaganza of entertainment

    This past weekend the Hunters’ Extravaganza was in town. Back in the days when P. and I were young and newly in love, I would go with him every year to survey the veritable wealth of all things hunting related.

    We would stroll up and down the aisles holding hands and y’all I was so in love that I didn’t even care that all the booths basically sold some version of deer urine, ugly camo clothing, or deer feeders made out of industrial size trash cans. The highlight of the trip for me was just being with P. and eating those sugared pecans that they sell in little plastic sacks shaped like a carrot.

    Pretty much after we got married, I quit making the annual trek to the Extravaganza. It really falls under the category of things that once you’ve seen them, you don’t need to see them again. Plus, once we got married we could sit at home and hold hands which in my opinion was preferable to being amongst the doe urine.

    Anyway, I give you all this useless information to share one of my favorite stories regarding the Hunters’ Extravaganza (and I know at this point you can’t believe that there’s more). Every year they have a penned in area where they have a rattlesnake roundup. Seriously, if you want to come to Texas I can get you tickets for next year.

    The rattlesnake roundup consists of a bunch of rattlesnakes and one clearly insane man that does tricks with the rattlesnakes such as putting them under his hat or picking them up or spinning them around really fast and snapping their head off (I’m sorry, that one’s not true I just made it up because the image in my sick mind made me laugh). So, everyone stands around and watches this guy who is obviously some sort of crazy.

    One year at the Extravaganza, a family friend of ours was watching the rattlesnakes and the whole thing was making him feel a little icky. You know how you start to feel a little creeped out, like maybe there’s one near you or something? So he’s a little freaked out by the whole thing and about that time he takes a step backwards and steps on something cylindrical that kind of rolls under his foot. He jumps up, spills his beer, screams like a little girl and looks down to see a completely squashed giant dill pickle. Don’t worry y’all, it was dead.

  • You say it’s your birthday

    Today is my 35th birthday and honestly, I can’t believe I’m 35. I know some of y’all are thinking 35 isn’t old and it’s really not, but it’s not an age I ever imagined myself being. Last year when I turned 34, I told P. “You know 34 is really the last age where you sound young.” He said “I hate to tell you, but 34 doesn’t really sound that young.” Oh, he’s a smooth talkin’ devil.

    Gulley’s taking me to lunch today to celebrate. A real live adult lunch that won’t involve high chairs or chicken fingers cut up in a million pieces or a 9 month old throwing up saltine crackers. We’ll actually get to visit and laugh without someone saying “excuse me mama, excuse me mama, EXCUSE ME MAMA.”

    Then tonight, I think P. is going to cook me a steak dinner which is one of my favorite things in the world. Give me a steak with some grilled jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and I’m a happy girl or woman seeing as how I’m 35.

    So, what did I think 35 would look like? I don’t know for sure, but I think it involved 3 kids in a minivan, being President of the PTA, not caring about fashion and how I looked, and having a husband that wore a suit to work everyday. I thought I would be very wise and very mature…you know, from all my life experience.

    What does it look like now that I’m here? Well, I have one child and don’t know that I’m going to have another one, therefore we don’t really need a minivan. Caroline is 3, so while I may volunteer for the fall festival at her preschool, I’m a long way from President of the PTA. I still want to look cute in my jeans (although y’all know how I feel about the return of the skinny leg and I can’t even discuss this whole leggings and miniskirt thing) and read InStyle as soon as it comes out every month. And as far as my husband wearing a suit everyday, well P. is a youth minister and owns a landscape company, so unless he’s performing a wedding for someone, suits just aren’t that practical in the Texas heat.

    As far as being wise and mature, well…I definitely have more wisdom now than I did in my twenties but honestly, that just means I have enough sense not to ride with a total stranger to Oklahoma City (a story for another time).

    And can you be considered mature when you laugh every. single. time. that your child toots or holds her own nose when she poops?

    I have to say that reality is better than anything I could have imagined. It may not be perfect, but who needs perfection? As a wise,mature 35 year old, I’ve learned that perfection isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

  • Se habla espanol

    Caroline and I went to Michael’s yesterday to look for some ribbon. She begged me not to make her ride in the cart and since Michael’s has these dinky, little carts, I agreed.

    I’m looking at all this ribbon, completely overwhelmed by all the choices, and she’s pushing the cart. Finally, she says “Vamamos Mama, let’s go. VAMAMOS”. Then, later on during lunch, she ate her peanut butter and jelly and said “Yum, delicioso!” Can you say too much Dora the Explorer?

    Seriously, that’s impressive because I took 4 semesters, yes 4 semesters of Spanish in college and you know what I can tell you? El burro es un animal de Mexico. Let me know if you need me to translate.

  • Can you hear me now?

    About a year ago we switched our all of our phone, T.V., computer services to Time Warner Cable. I pay the bills and thought it would be so easy to have one little bundled package that we pay for each month. The only problem…everytime you use the phone, the wireless service on the computer disconnects itself. Our phone service has been so bad that we never use our home phone. We’ll answer it and tell people to call us back on our cell. This has been going on for months and after several phone calls to Time Warner, I decided that I was done. After all, paying for unlimited long distance doesn’t really do you much good if you can’t use your phone to begin with.

    I picked up the phone (my cell phone) and called AT&T to see what they could offer. Oh, they promise you the world. This girl on the phone was so helpful but honestly, I couldn’t keep track of anything that she was telling me. If I sign up today AND fill out some form AND turn in my last Time Warner bill AND add my cell phone service package AND sell them my first born child, I am eligible for a $49.00 rebate. On top of that, I can get Dish network for $19.99 for 12 months with an additional $2.00 off for the first six months and $4.00 off for three more months. I’m always so suspicious of all of this because it’s like they’re trying to confuse you so when you get your bill you really have no idea what it should be. To quote Cal Naughton Jr. in Talladega Nights, “My head was all twisted up like a pretzel.”

    So being the savvy business person that I am, I asked the burning question on my mind…”Do we get a DVR player?” Why yes, yes we do. We get TWO. Sign me up.

    I still don’t understand all the ways that AT&T is going to save us money, but the service can’t be any worse and we get TWO DVRs. What else do you need to know?

  • Turning fashion icons into fashion victims

    I was really going to try to do a Thursday Thirteen today, so what does it say about my creative thinking skills that I couldn’t think of one subject to think up thirteen things about? Maybe since I have seven days until next Thursday, I can think of something between now and then. In the meantime, here are my thoughts on last night’s Project Runway which is my new addiction (along with blogging) and not just because there is NOTHING to watch on T.V.

    Last night’s challenge was for the designers to update the look of various fashion icons. The wacky, zany twist was that the models got to choose the designer, but oh wait, it gets better. Not only did the models choose the designer, they got to choose the fashion icon. There were pictures set up of all the choices and the models had to risk life and skinny, frail limb to get the one they wanted. Remember, a lot of these girls haven’t eaten since 2004 so they probably have a lot of pent up anger and frustration. It was truly great T.V.

    I was a little nervous when I saw some of the fashion icons and even more nervous when Angela got Audrey Hepburn. Is there anyone more classic than Audrey? I just knew Angela was going to cover her in those rosettes that are her hideous trademark, but actually the dress she designed was very tasteful, in spite of the fact that she did in fact add some sort of rosette feature. I breathed a sigh of relief. I know Angela won the challenge last week, but I honestly wasn’t crazy about her outfit…it was a little too Michael Jackson in the 80’s with those tricky rosette buttons, but hey a panel of fashion experts voted for it so what do I know?

    Laura had Katherine Hepburn as her icon and I loved what she did with her outfit. It wasn’t anything flashy, like Kayne’s “Marilyn meets Gwen Stefani”, but in my opinion it was totally modern day Katherine. Tasteful, tailored, elegant. I like Laura’s style and it was a perfect match with her icon.

    By far, my favorite of the night was Michael. I really like him and not just because he used the phrase “Captain Save a Ho”, but because he stays above the fray and focuses on his designs. Now, I won’t be wearing magenta hot pants and a plunging neckline in this lifetime, but the outfit was fabulous. He’s my pick to win the whole thing.

    As for the worst, Jeffrey designed an outfit for modern Madonna that I think was so ugly that really even Madonna wouldn’t wear it and don’t even get me started on Robert’s suit for Jackie O. I bet she was rolling over in her grave at that cheap linen (I think Vincent was laughing to himself when he let Robert borrow it) and rope belt. Yes, you read that right… A ROPE BELT. For Jackie O, the ultimate fashion icon.

    At the end of the night, Bradley was voted off for designing an outfit that even Cher wouldn’t be caught dead in and that’s saying something because you know…she’s Cher. I think Bradley was actually a little relieved to be leaving. He always seemed like he had just wandered in off the street and thought “Hey cool, a contest. Sign me up”. I don’t think he knew why he was there in the first place. He just heard there were going to be models involved.