Year: 2006

  • My wish for you

    After having a child free evening last night and getting to sleep in a little this morning, I am now paying for it because Caroline will not nap. I thought she had fallen asleep until I heard every book from her bookshelves being thrown on the floor. I went in to find books everywhere and she had torn another piece of her Wizard of Oz book. I said “Caroline, do not tear up your books.” I guess my tone of voice combined with that fact that she is truly exhausted caused her to burst into tears. After awhile she settled down as I rocked her and agreed to let her “rest” on the couch (which isn’t going to happen, but at least I know she’ll go to bed early tonight). She pulled back, smiled at me and said “look mama, I see myself in your eyes”. Maybe it’s because I’m a little extra emotional today but it made me all teary. I hope she can always see herself in my eyes because then I’ll know that she will always know how sweet, how charming, how precious she really is. Even more, I hope that I can teach her to see herself through God’s eyes because that will make her unstoppable.

  • You want me?

    Caroline had a bad dream the other night and woke up calling for me. I went into her room to rock her until she settled down. As I was rocking her I thought how amazing it is that my presence can calm all her fears. She immediately felt safe and protected. The irony is that I am a girl who slept in my mom’s room for two weeks before I left for college because I saw Pet Semetary. No one would accuse me of being brave. To this day if scary movie previews come on, P. will say “Don’t look, don’t look” because he knows that whatever I see will be permanently imbedded in my brain and cause a bout of insomnia.

    My childhood nighttime adventures are legendary so she comes by it honestly. I am famous for yelling “But Mama, I can’t see” to which my mother would reply “You’re not supposed to see…it’s nighttime go to sleep”.

    A few months ago she was waking up all hours of the night and one night I finally said “Caroline, this is ridiculous, I’m not coming in here again.” In my defense I was very tired and sleep deprived after 2 weeks of mediocre sleep and I am a girl who loves my sleep. She went to school the next day and told her teacher “mama says IT’S DICULOUS and she’s never coming in my room again.” Nice. That right there will win me some major parenting awards.

  • I wanted to go to the pool….

    Caroline didn’t take a nap today so instead of the usual long day I had the excruciating long day. That’s the one that comes complete with whiny, tired toddler who feels like the whole world is out to get her because she can’t have a third popsicle. Lovely.

    I finally got her ready for bed and was tucking her in. She went through her usual “I need a drink of water, sing another song, rock me”…and when those possibilities were finally exhausted she yelled “But I wanted to GO TO THE POOL TODAY!!” Sorry. No pool today. No one said it’s easy being almost 3.

    Earlier today (during the no napping) we were on the computer playing games on Noggin. I think it was Pinky Dinky Doo and the big word game. The word we got was apprehensive. Caroline repeated it and asked “what that mean Mama?” I told her it’s when you’re worried about something. She said “I apprehensive about having bad dreams.” It was so sweet and very impressive for a child with 50% DNA that considers the Cabelas catalog to be a fine piece of literature.

  • Looking Ahead

    Ever since I became a mother (and probably even before then) I have tried to picture myself at various stages of life. I wonder what I’ll be like, if I’ll feel the same way I do now and if everything I’m doing as a mother will be the best thing for my doodle. I look back on all the mistakes I made as a teenager and I want better for her. She is so strongwilled and I am constantly worrying if I am disciplining her in the right way for the right things.

    We had a major showdown last night. I realized she has slowly been gaining control of things by dawdling, trying to manipulate, etc. I had enough and put my foot down. Yesterday was a new beginning of making sure she knows the Mama and Daddy are the boss. We are benevolent, but she has to listen to us. As I was rocking her last night she said “I love you Mama” and I said “I love you too”. She said “then you shouldn’t tell me no”. How does she know to do that? I told her that I tell her no because I love her and my goal is to help her be a better person. I’m not sure she comprehends any of that but it’s true and hopefully it will sink in at some point.

    As a wise woman once told me “if they get to be thirteen and don’t know you’re in control…you’re sunk”. I pray that God will give me the wisdom to guide her in the way that’s best for her. She may not like me, but I know she’ll always love me.

  • A Sad Song

    Caroline decided yesterday evening that she wanted to spend the night with her Mimi and Bops. One phone call later (where she said “hurry mimi, it’s gettin’ too late) they had sped over and picked her up. It was so nice to have a free night and not have to get through the nightly beating which is getting her bathed and in her pajamas. Then when I went to pick her up this morning she threw a fit and wanted to take her nap “AT MIMI’S HOUSE”!!! I was only too happy to let her stay so that I could run some long overdue errands. I bought two new shirts at Adelante and then headed to Toys R Us.

    I have to make the momentous decision of trampoline vs. bouncy castle for her birthday present, but first I had to convince P that the tree in the backyard needs to come down. It’s just a small tree and yet it totally impedes the flow of playtime in our backyard. It was there before we added on to the house but with the addition it takes up too much room. I’ve been looking at our backyard with a critical eye ever since I decided we’ll have Caroline’s birthday party at home. I know P is thrilled at the prospect of pressure washing the back porch, cleaning the light fixtures and taking out a tree, but I am officially obsessed.

    Speaking of obsessed…Caroline had hand, foot and mouth disease about a month ago. One morning she woke up and had sores in her mouth. This has left a lasting impression on her little mind so much so that she starts most conversations with “I had a sore in my mouth last night”. I’m thinking we really need to work on her social graces. Sores in the mouth can be offputting, even if you are an adorable almost three year old.

    Tonight when I put her to bed she took out her paci to say her prayers. I couldn’t understand most of it, but hearing her little voice say “dear Jesus…” is just the sweetest thing in the world. It makes me forget that she’s the same little girl who had to get a spanking before we left the pool today. She threw an absolute fit and went running off, so I had to swat her little bottom. On the way to the car she told me she was singing a sad song. I asked her how it went and she sang this little “I am so sad about my spanking, this is my sad song”. The drama begins.

  • Goodbye Tomato

    Today was a pretty typical Saturday morning. P had to work so Caroline and I made cinnamon rolls. She doesn’t really care about the roll, just wants to lick the icing out of the container. Who am I to judge? I’d eat a bowl of raw cookie dough every day if I could.

    I put her down for her nap around noon but she didn’t sleep. I kept hearing these thuds and thunks but she seemed content so I let her stay in there so I could have a break. After about an hour she starts saying “Mama, I need some sticky tape for my tomato!!” The request got louder and louder, but finally she got quiet again. About 1:00 I decided to go ahead and let her get up. I walked in her room and she says “Mama, look my tomato needs some sticky tape”. She had gotten her beautiful Wizard of Oz pop up book off her bookshelves and completely shredded the pop up tornado (tomato). You can be sure that no amount of sticky tape will help that poor tomato now. It’s gone on to a better place.

    Tonight I went to see The Devil Wears Prada. I can’t tell you how hard parts of it made me laugh. Meryl Streep is so unbelievably good. I’ll definitely go see it again if I have a chance. The outfits alone are worth watching for.
    Tomorrow I have to work in the nursery at church which means I have to get us all dressed and out the door by 8:30. Never gonna happen.