Year: 2007

Sugar, spice, snips and snails

Most of the day yesterday was spent recovering from our trip and trying to catch up on everything after being gone for two days. I made a much needed trip to HEB because, literally, we were out of everything.

In fact, last night as P and I sat in bed watching “The Wonder Years”, P looked at me and said, “I bet Norma Arnold’s family never had to wipe with paper towels.” Which was a slight exaggeration of our situation because P keeps a spare roll of toilet paper stashed in his truck and he shared the dusty Charmin wealth with the family.

Who says chivalry is dead?

Caroline was experiencing Bryan withdrawals and kept asking, “What are we doing today, Mama? Where are we going?” Because apparently, the prospect of a quiet day in a playroom filled with toys is just unbearable. Lucky for her, Mimi had to take one of her dogs to the vet and asked Caroline if she wanted to go along. And really, what says good time like watching rabies vaccinations?

The thing about a trip to Bryan is it’s non-stop fun and entertainment. After being with the family on Sunday night, we headed out Monday morning to visit some of our friends and their kids.

We went to see our friend Tiff, her 3 girls and her new baby boy. Caroline loves Tiff’s house because, not only is there a trampoline in the backyard, but there are VAST amounts of Rubbermaid totes filled to the brim with Barbies. There are Barbies, in various stages of undress, driving Corvettes and riding horses, all over their rooms. It looks like a Spring Break trip to the beach gone bad.

Tiff’s dog even has his very own Barbie that he uses as a chew toy. And when they board him at the kennel, he has to have it.

New from Mattel, it’s Security Barbie.

Lead paint optional.

We usually get to see Tiff and her kids every summer, and every year we take a picture to document that moment in time. Here is this year’s picture.

Obviously, they are all seriously into the whole picture taking thing.

Later in the afternoon, we went to visit our friend Jamie and her kids. Now, Jamie has 3 boys, ages 5 and under, so her house is basically the polar opposite of Tiff’s house. Barbie wouldn’t last a day at Jamie’s house. And from what I saw, she would most likely die from being decapitated by a golf club.

Jamie’s boys came running to the door to greet us with red, sweaty faces and LOTS of enthusiasm. The entire time we were there was a study in constant motion. It is one of the great mysteries of the universe how kids can jump endlessly on a trampoline in the blazing heat and never get tired, yet can’t summon the strength to open their own bag of fruit snacks.

Here’s a picture of all the kids after we managed to deplete them of enough energy to get them to stand still.

Last night, I was showing this picture to P so he could see how big the boys have gotten, and Caroline walked by the computer. She said, “Hey! Those are my friends!” And I said, “I know! Didn’t you have so much fun with those boys?”

She said, “Yes, but you’ve got to watch that little one. He bites.”

Like I said, Barbie wouldn’t last a day.
The blogger is out

On Sunday afternoon, Gulley and I loaded up our kids and headed to Bryan/College Station to see her family and some of our friends.? Since we arrived, I have had every intention of writing a post about our trip but, honestly, I don’t know where to begin.

Also, all the fun has left me exhausted.

Plus, her mama doesn’t have wireless, so I can’t use my Mac and I am no longer capable of composing coherent thoughts on anything else.? I’m convinced that it’s all part of some sinister Apple conspiracy to take over the world.?

iBrain.? That’s the name I just thought up for the above mentioned sinister plot.

See?? I’m tired.

And I apologize.

However, once I get home later on today, I will be back in optimal blogging conditions (I’m like the Princess and the Pea of the blog world)? and will somehow put together something resembling the mediocre content y’all have all come to love and expect.?

See you then.
I do okay with the other 9 commandments

On Friday, Caroline and I went to pick out baby shower invitations for a shower I’m hosting in about a month. And no, this one will not be at my house, and yes, everyone I know is pregnant right now. I’d say it’s something in the water, but you and I both know that’s not how you get pregnant. You get pregnant if wear your clothes too tight and drink wine coolers…at least that’s what my mama told me when I was in high school.

Anyway, there are really few experiences more pleasant than trying to make a decision in the midst of a fine stationery store while surrounded with other breakable things and a 4 year old. Early on, Caroline found a lady bug photo album that she felt she needed to buy. Since her income level is roughly ZERO, that means it would be my money buying the album.

I told her no. She just received over a gazillion toys for her birthday and she doesn’t need one more thing, even if it is a photo album in the shape of a bug, complete with googly eyes.

I paid for the invitations and we were headed towards the door when I noticed she had something behind her back.

“What do you have?”

She pulled out the album and showed it to me.

“Well, you need to go put that back where you found it.”

She did after slightly protesting, but she could tell I meant business.

We got in the car and I prepared to launch into my lecture over the various 10 commandments.

“Caroline, you can’t ever take stuff from a store without paying for it. When you take things from a store without paying for them, that is called STEALING.”

I glanced in the rearview mirror and I could see the wheels turning in her little head.

“Well, when you take people’s toys from their playroom and throw them away, that’s also called STEALING.”

I am in so much trouble.
It’s a valuable appendage

After I shared my unfortunate pinky toe incident last week, Melanie at This Ain’t New York sent me this classic Seinfeld clip. It’s always been one of my favorite Seinfeld moments and watching it again, I laughed so hard that I had to share it with y’all.

You can find it here. (And yes, I tried to post the whole Youtube clip here but, due to unfortunate technical difficulties, this is the best I can do.) Have I mentioned that I used to think email would never take off as a real means of communication?

Anyway, I’m happy to report the little guy is back at the end of the line where he belongs.

I am batman.
In the words of Annie Lennox, “here comes the rain again”

This morning I woke up at 10:00 a.m. ( because P is a peach and let me sleep late in honor of our anniversary) to the sound of rain. Apparently, Tropical Depression Erin arrived in San Antonio overnight.

I didn’t even know there was a disturbance in the Gulf, which means I hadn’t watched the news in several days because, if I had, I would have been inundated with excited meteorologists talking about barometric pressure and the importance of buying lumber at Home Depot to board up windows to ward off impending gale force doom, while bright graphics scrolled across the screen with TROPICAL WATCH ’07 and a depiction of a palm tree bending over with the sheer force of the wind.

I mean, I vaguely heard something on Tuesday night about the chance of getting 10 inches of rain on Thursday, but I wrote it off because I have fallen victim too many times to false reports of massive rainfall that, in truth, result in barely enough precipitation to get the driveway wet.

I’m nobody’s patsy.

However, by 11 a.m., it became clear by the rain falling sideways that Tropical Depression Erin was not messing around. So, Caroline and I did what we always do in these dreadful, rainy day situations…headed to Gulley’s house.

By 3 p.m., this is what the street in front of Gulley’s house looked like.

And this is what we were doing.

Then, the rain kept falling and I began to realize we might have some problems getting home. And since I didn’t really want to spend my anniversary apart from P, Caroline and I got in the car to attempt to make it home. After much navigational manuevering, I managed to get us home.

We ran in from the rain and I began to really worry. Our entire anniversary plan for the evening rested upon the ability of the Sushi Delivery Man’s ability to deliver fresh, uncooked food to our door.

Y’all can breath a sigh of relief. The sushi was delivered.

And really I have nothing else to share, except for 2 things.

1. Yesterday, I was having a conversation with someone about technical blog stuff and he began to talk about widgets. I did my best “oh I totally understand what you’re talking about” response, but obviously did a poor job because he asked if I knew what a widget was. I responded, “As far as I know, he’s a character on Wow, Wow Wubbzy”.

I’m still laughing about it.

And, I’m pretty sure he was impressed with my computer knowledge.

2. After watching Caroline change her clothes multiple times in the last few weeks, I have decided to add a new page to Big Mama featuring up to the minute, or maybe up to the every few hours (I have a life, people. Really. I do.) fashion photos featuring the little fashionista. Think of it as having your own personal style guru that will make you feel that it is okay to wear mixed florals. It’s just all about the proper interpretation.

So, feel free to click on “From the Closet” over on my sidebar to see the latest updates.

And also know that if she outgrows this stage tomorrow, it will be a short lived feature. However, I feel fairly confident that she is like her mama and will continue to have a propensity to try on multiple outfits during each day.

Hope y’all have a great Friday!
I think 36 agrees with me

I will admit that I was a little concerned about my 36th birthday due to the fact that P just had back surgery and I knew there would be no dancing involved in my birthday celebration. Not that we’ve ever gone dancing to celebrate my birthday, or really any other occasion, but at least it’s always been an option. (Well, except for 4 years ago when Caroline was only 2 weeks old and I was on the verge of a sleep deprivation breakdown. Not even dancing could have helped me back then.)

But thanks to all your comments and well wishes and e-cards, it was a wonderful birthday indeed. Yes ma’am. Y’all made it special. Thank you.

So, here’s what the big day involved. And seriously, keep drinking some kind of caffeinated beverage, you’ll need it just to stay awake.

I woke up this morning to the sound of little feet pitter-pattering across the bedroom floor and opened my eyes to a little urchin in a Disney princess nightgown staring at me and then ordering me to get up and make her some breakfast. P convinced her that maybe they ought to sing me Happy Birthday first, and so they did. However, no sooner had the last notes been sung before I was being dragged out of bed. This was our conversation all day:

“How old are you, Mama?”

“I’m 36”

“OHHHH, 46!”

“NO! 36. THIRTY-SIX.? THIRTY! SIX!”

The phone began to ring about an hour later, which is when most decent people get out of bed. It’s funny how some households wait for the sun to come up before beginning their day.? What a novel concept.

Friends and family called to wish me a happy birthday and it made my day to hear all the different ways Happy Birthday can be sung over the phone. I have some seriously talented friends.

Then, Gulley called with an offer for a birthday lunch with the kids, after which she would take Caroline for the afternoon while I went and got a pedicure or shopped or sat and stared off into space. That is why she is the best friend a girl can have. I didn’t even play the “are you sure?” game, I just said, “GREAT! Is it too early for lunch RIGHT NOW?”

So, my toes are now a lovely shade of Essie South Hampton pale pink, and the color really sets off the black and blue tone of my baby toe. There is nothing quite as entertaining as trying to explain a broken baby toe to a pedicure technician who doesn’t really speak English. “THIS TOE? DO NOT TOUCH THIS TOE. HURT. BAD. NO TOUCH.” And yes, I spoke louder, because that totally bridges the language barrier.

I came home and spent the rest of my free time taking a nap because I live on the edge. Especially considering the reason I took a nap was so I wouldn’t be too tired for Bible Study later that evening.

Washing towels, taking out the trash, heating up chicken nuggets, napping, and Bible Study. It’s really just a matter of time before I have my own MTV reality show.

As for birthday presents, I got some cash money, which is always a safe bet. Well, except for the fact that I will need to hide it from myself to keep from spending it prematurely on something important like a burrito from Chipotle. I’ve had my eye on a sweater coat from Anthropologie, so the birthday money may go towards the sweater coat fund.? Of course, I’ll also have to quit buying things like food for my family, but sometimes you can’t put a price on fashion.? ? Plus, nothing says I’d sure like a sweater coat like? shopping in 108 degree temperatures.

I also got a gift certificate to Banana Republic and another one for a local spa. Don’t think I won’t spend a day tirelessly shopping for just the right shirt at Banana and then getting a massage to help me work through the exhaustion of the decision making process. It will be a? day of everything I love.

Also, when I arrived at Bible Study last night, the lovely and talented AG had made some delicious chocolate cupcakes that were artfully arranged on a platter with a candle stuck in the one in the middle. Everyone sang Happy Birthday and it was just so sweet. It made me so glad that I had taken that nap because I was well rested and able to enjoy the celebration.

And best of all, I mentioned to P weeks ago that I would love a pair of really cute cowboy boots, because cowboy boots are the gift that keeps giving to a girl that lives in South Texas. It doesn’t matter what InStyle says, boots are always in style here and thus, I wanted a really cute pair to replace my old ones. So,? yesterday morning,? P and Caroline ordered these for me.

They’ll be here in 5-7 working days. It will be like my birthday all over again.

? So far, 36 totally rocks.