Year: 2007

  • We’re here to see a mama about a baby

    Well, let me start by saying WE HAD MORE FUN. If y’all haven’t taken a road trip recently with whoever your equivalent of Gulley is, then get in the car and just do it. And if you don’t have a Gulley equivalent…GET ONE.

    I started the day off running a little late. The plan was I would drop Caroline off at school at 8:45 and meet Gulley back at my house. But Caroline has some kind of animal like instinct that alerts her to odd phenomenons, like us needing to actually be out of the house by a certain time, and slept until 8:00. This would never happen on a morning where we have nowhere to be. Life is not that kind and certainly doesn’t care about my dream of sleeping past 7 a.m. on any given morning.

    Anyway, I got Caroline dropped off and called Gulley on her cell to see if she was already at my house. She answered and I asked, “Are you waiting for me at my house?” and she said, “Yes, but the construction workers told me you had just left.” Which brings me to a whole other point about being under constant surveillance by the construction crew working on Tillie’s house next door. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t a slimy type construction crew making obscene comments or anything. They just notice everything that happens at our house.

    They tell Caroline to have a good day at school. They ask P how business is going. They were so excited about my new car. And at the rate we’re going, we’ll be inviting them all for Christmas this year.

    Finally, Gulley and I loaded up in my car and headed to her mama’s house to drop off Will and pick up her stepdad who we call Big, because he is, in fact, Big. And can I just interrupt this road trip recap to inform y’all that when we got in the car, the opening music to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” was playing and Will knew what it was and started singing “Uh Oh, Uh Oh, Uh Oh”.

    And that is why he is a rockstar and I love him.

    Anyway, we picked up Big and were on our way. We had roadtripped with Big once before about 15 years ago, so we figured he’s already heard it all, so we talked freely about important womanly issues like how I should get my hair cut and what we were fixing for dinner these days. Actually, Big has been home from work for about a week while he’s waiting to start a new job, and he was a wealth of daytime T.V. information. He let us know that dark green, leafy lettuces are better for us than iceberg and he also knew some potential plotline information for Grey’s Anatomy because he saw McSteamy on Regis and Kelly a few days ago.

    And that is why Big is a rockstar and I love him.

    When we got to College Station, we dropped off Big and headed to the hospital to go see Tiff and her new baby boy, Zeke. It was so fun to walk in the hospital room and completely surprise Tiff. She had no idea we were coming because, let’s be honest, by the time you have your 4th baby, you’re wondering if your husband is going to show.

    We hugged, cried and kissed that new, darling baby boy and then he was off to get circumcised. Talk about a buzz kill.

    Gulley, Tiff and I met when we were all Diamond Darlings at A&M. One of the cardinal rules for Diamond Darlings is you can’t date the players, and while we all broke this rule, Tiff took it to the next level and actually ended up marrying one of the players. She is an overachiever.

    And that is why she is a rockstar and I love her.

    But seriously, she is one of the sweetest people I have ever known. One of the first times we ever talked, I asked her what her major was and she answered, “being a wife and mother”, which coming from anyone else might have caused me to reach for the nearest bucket to throw up in, but coming from her, it was just so genuine. She is super mom, but not in a fake way. She doesn’t pretend to have it all together, she just loves almost every minute of the chaos. In fact, one time when her girls were smaller she showed up at church and realized she had forgotten to put shoes on and instead of melting down, she just laughed and went with it.

    And when she called to tell me she was pregnant I said, “Oh Tiff, I don’t know how you do it. I can barely handle the one I have!” and she answered, “Well, I think having just one is a lot harder than having three!” So obviously, she’s also a good liar.

    She is always thinking of others. In fact, she runs a baking business and makes the most incredible cakes and cookies y’all will ever see. She spent the day and night before her scheduled c-section making the prettiest cookies I have ever seen and bagging them in little baggies and tying them up with brown ribbon and tulle, then placed them in a huge basket to bring to the hospital to hand out to all of her nurses and any of her visitors. Seriously.

    And let me tell y’all that the hospital staff was knocking themselves out to take care of her. Even housekeeping got in on the action and was in her room begging for something to clean after they heard the rumor about the new mama with the cookies. In fact, I had to fight some of them off just so I could grab about 3 or 9 for myself.

    Those hospital staff members get a little touchy about their free food.

    Needless to say, Tiff and her baby were the hit of the hospital.

    So, I decided if I ever have another baby, I am going to bring something real nice like some beef jerky sticks and perhaps an economy size bag of chips for the hospital staff to share, because obviously it’s the little things that count.

  • Road trip

    I am constantly being accused of being a wildly spontaneous person. What with all my lists and endless anxiety over the minutiae of life, how could I not be? In fact, just the other day I deleted an episode of Oprah off the DVR without even checking to see what it was about AND I already mentioned that I spent my Saturday cleaning out my refrigerator ON A WHIM.

    Nothing really says WHIMSICAL like tossing out bad cottage cheese and 2 week old pork chops.

    So, because I am a live life in the list filled moment kind of girl, it only took me about 5 days to decide to take a spontaneous road trip with Gulley. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning, we will be two free mamas hitting the open road.

    One of our best friends from college actually lives in the Motherland, otherwise known as College Station, TX. She had a scheduled c-section with her 4th child on Monday, and Gulley and I have decided we must make a day trip to go see the new baby. Plus, we will take any excuse to be in the car together without children for 6 hours roundtrip. There will be no end to the solving of all the world’s problems.

    And we get to see a beautiful, brand new baby boy who has yet to be named, but has 3 of the cutest big sisters and one of the best mamas in the world.

    See y’all tomorrow.

  • The end of what has been a brilliant career

    Well, it’s all over. Just like Baryshinokov, another brilliant dance career is finished. My Mother’s Day beating is done.

    I started the weekend by cleaning out my refrigerator and freezer on Saturday morning. I don’t mean just throwing out some bad leftovers, I mean taking out each shelf and scrubbing it down from top to bottom. I figured while I was signing up for beatings for the weekend, I might as well throw in all the things I dread the most.

    I am embarrassed to even tell y’all how gross my refrigerator was. It looked like a science experiment gone bad. I had spilled coffee grounds on the bottom of my freezer that were stuck to a substance that I couldn’t even identify. I have been living in freezer denial for a long time, not wanting to face the freezer yuckness head on, but I knew it was time to pay the freezer piper, or whatever.

    I didn’t take before photos because I knew y’all would judge me. You say you wouldn’t, but you would. YOU WOULD. It’s okay. I’d judge me, too.

    The refrigerator

    The freezer

    Please note the cleanliness. Also note the two major food groups: Tater Tots and Velveeta

    An organic, all natural diet is of utmost importance around here.

    After spending the better part of the day cleaning the fridge, it was time for the dress rehearsal for Caroline’s recital. Nevermind that some good friends had invited us to spend a relaxing day at the lake, I had to get Caroline all dressed and made up so that she could go practice her elaborate dance routine because really, if the three year olds didn’t get the opportunity to practice, the artistic integrity of the routine could be completely compromised. How are you going to pick your nose and daydream under the bright lights of the big stage if you haven’t had an opportunity to practice?

    The dress rehearsal went fairly well, with the exception of some future Christina Aguilera wannabe who kept getting in front of Caroline and way overexaggerating the moves. Back off honey, it’s not Star Search.

    Sunday morning we went to church and then headed home to rest up for the recital. Because I am in total denial over the fact that Caroline never sleeps during the day anymore, I attempted to get her to take a nap before the recital, which proved to be more draining than trying to identify the unknown substance that was in the bottom of my freezer.

    Finally, it was time to do hair and makeup and head to the auditorium. Here she is in the car on the way there. Can y’all sense the joy?

    The dance studio had assured us that the younger students would perform first so the kids wouldn’t get too tired waiting to perform. It was a big, fat lie. After I got Caroline settled with her class, I went to meet P in the auditorium where he pointed out in the program that Caroline would be performing 12th out of 24 performances.

    Those dance teachers are dirty liars.

    And to add to the enjoyment, the air conditioning was out in the building. There is nothing quite as lovely as spending Mother’s Day in a hot auditorium surrounded by the sweat of hundreds of strangers. All I could think about was how hot I was and wonder if Caroline’s red lipstick and eyebrow pencil were running down her face.

    The teachers kept stressing the importance of the makeup, because otherwise the kids would just look tired on stage. They’re 3, how tired can they look?

    Finally, she came out on stage. She did most of her moves with a few periods of rest to daydream and check out the lights on the stage, but she looked so cute, and after it was over even stayed on stage a few minutes longer than the rest of the class to soak up the glory. I’d love to have it on video, but since they don’t allow video cameras the only way that’s possible is if I shell out $30.00 for a DVD.

    The dance recital market is just one huge racket.

    I did get to video the dress rehearsal, so at least that’s something. And it’s free. And it’s just my daughter (well, and Christina Aguilera), not 150 other kids that I don’t know and will most likely never see again.

    After the performance, I went downstairs to pick her up and hugged her and told her how great she did and how proud I was of her. She took all of that information in and told me, “Mama, you need to quit talking now.”

    One recital and she turns into a diva.

    As we walked to the car, Bops was carrying her and told her she did a great job. She replied, “I know, Bops. I beat all those other kids.”

    Which is why next year, we’re playing soccer.

  • The rainbow connection

    I would love to write something profound and life changing about the institution of motherhood, but it would require thought and effort, and after a day that started at 5:45 a.m., I’ll be honest, I don’t have it in me. Plus, I still have two Oprahs waiting for me on the DVR and it’s really all about priorities.

    Mother’s Day 2002, I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was excited, hopeful and giddy. P and I had prayed for a baby and now one was on the way. I remember sitting in church on that Sunday feeling so blessed to be on my way to becoming a baby carrying, spit up wearing member of the motherhood sorority.

    And then 2 weeks later, P and I found ourselves sitting in the doctor’s office as he told us there was no heartbeat, no baby.

    I didn’t know it then, but I look back now and realize that moment prepared me more for what motherhood really is than if I had carried that baby to term.

    Motherhood is about holding someone close and letting them go all at the same time. It’s about loving someone more than you ever imagined, yet not being able to completely protect them from all the challenges they will face. It’s about wanting to do the best job imaginable and raise fine, upstanding members of society, but spending years and years wondering if it’s actually going to happen.

    It’s about trust. Trusting that God knows you and knows this child He has given you. Knowing that my strengths are designed to cover her weaknesses. Knowing that even before I was born, God knew someday He would entrust Caroline to me.

    And it overwhelms me.

    Late last Thursday afternoon, a rainstorm came through and after it was over, an incredible rainbow appeared in the sky. I carried Caroline outside to see it and watched her face as she just stared in pure amazement while my heart exploded just a little bit. She said, “Oh Mama, it’s just like in my books, but better!”

    And I was thinking the same thing. Motherhood is just what I dreamed about, but better.

    Happy Mother’s Day, y’all.

  • Back when wild pasta roamed the plains

    Last night, P and I had some friends over for dinner and Caroline went out to eat with Mimi and Bops. I made spaghetti with meat sauce with Caesar salad and garlic bread.

    A little while ago, I heated up some leftover spaghetti for Caroline to eat for dinner tonight. She took a big bite and said, “Oh Mama, THIS IS DELICIOUS! Did you shoot this?”

  • If I could just lose 10,870 pounds

    I went and picked Caroline up from school yesterday afternoon and in her school bag, she had a wrapped present for me along with a card. Of course there was no way she was going to wait until Sunday to bestow my gifts on me, so she “helped” me open them as soon as we got in the car.

    We openend the wrapped present which revealed a sweet, little necklace that she had made. I immediately put it on and raved about how beautiful it was and thanked her for such a sweet present.

    And then I opened the card.

    The front of the card had her little handprints lined up to make a heart shape and on the inside was a piece of paper where she had answered questions about me.

    My mother’s name is Big Mama (she actually used my real name).

    She is 680 years old.

    She is 11 feet tall and weighs 11,000 pounds.

    Her favorite thing is to eat at restaurants.

    It’s no wonder I’ve been so tired lately. And if I’m going to lose any of this weight, I probably need to find a new favorite activity.