Year: 2007

  • De doo doo doo, de da da da is all I have to say to you

    I’m not a huge fan of award shows. It seems like every year there are more and more award shows and honestly, it’s hard for me to keep up with all of them. The best part of any of these shows is usually the red carpet, because I like to mock and/or admire the various wardrobe selections. But other than the fashion, the shows usually just serve as a sad reminder that I have no idea who Gnarls Barkley is and apparently, I should.

    Last night, however, I excitedly turned on the Grammys because I was dying to see the big Police reunion. Ever since hearing Scrantonicity sing “Roxanne” on The Office this past week, I have missed the Police more than I already did.

    If I had a soundtrack to my junior high years, a good portion would contain songs like Every Breath You Take, Don’t Stand So Close To Me, and Every Little Thing She Does is Magic. I loved the Police and later, loved Sting.

    I wore out my cassette of Dream of the Blue Turtles listening to Fortress Around Your Heart. It was the perfect anthem for my 8th grade angst as I dreamed about the sophomore boy that I so desperately wanted to call and ask me to meet him at the mall. I would pop that cassette into my York stereo, fast forward to that song and lie on my bed as I cried while singing “and if I built this fortress around your heart, encircled you with trenches and barbed wire…”. I fancied myself quite the intellectual for crying to Sting instead of say, El Debarge.

    I may have been a little dramatic.

    I have to say that I was slightly disturbed to see Sting wearing a vest with no shirt under it because in college I had a professor that taught Intercultural Communications that often sported that same look, but with less physique and much, much more chest hair. It brought back some bad memories. Nevertheless, I loved seeing the Police back together again, shirt or no shirt.

    P and I ended up watching the entire show together, which is some kind of marital record for us, because P, as a general rule, doesn’t watch shows that don’t involve some type of weaponry. And since we were watching together, he got to hear all the scoop about Cameron and Justin breaking up and how Justin is now supposedly dating Jessica Biel. He remarked that Justin could probably get any girl he wanted and I said “Not me, I’d never leave you for Justin. I might leave you for Emmitt Smith, but not Justin”. Don’t judge me, y’all know Emmitt can dance.

    We also agreed that since the Dixie Chicks won so many awards, that our good friends Charlie and Emily may go ahead and join the Country Club this summer, so we might not be seeing them at the pool, which is really a shame because I’d love to sit down and chat if for no other reason than to find out who colored Natalie’s hair because it looked fabulous.

    The best line of the night goes to P, who asked me if Carrie Underwood was a Christian since she sings that song Jesus, Take the Wheel. I told him I had read an interview with her where she dodged the question and he said “Well, then why would she sing that song?” and I said, “I guess she just liked it”. He replied, “Maybe when she first saw it she thought it was about a Hispanic chaffeur named Jesus”.

    And that’s why I’d really never leave him for Emmitt.

  • Take time to smell the cucumbers

    This morning after church, I decided to go ahead and get the beating that is going to the grocery store out of the way. We were running low on the majority of essential items, including milk and paper plates. The milk, I personally could do without, but let’s just say that disposable dishware is crucial to my housekeeping regimen, and I’m using the words housekeeping and regimen lightly.

    I changed into my Mama uniform of black yoga pants and running shoes, but left Caroline in her cute Valentines’ dress that she wore to church, that way other shoppers could point and talk about that sad woman who just lives vicariously through dressing up her child. I just can’t go to HEB in high heels, it goes against every law of nature and you’re just asking to wipe out on some kid’s spilled grape juice. Not that it’s ever happened to me but you know…it could. And then I’d just be that Mama who’s dressed really cute, but is limping through the store with a big, wet spot on the back of her pants.

    Hypothetically speaking, that would just be embarrassing.

    Anyway, before we left the house, I told Caroline to go potty. She asked (as she always does), “Why?”. I told her, “Because I don’t want to get to HEB and have to take you to the bathroom there” and she replied, “But Mama, I love the bathroom there because it smells like cucumbers”.

    So obviously, something is horribly wrong with her olfactory sensing abilities because while the HEB bathroom smells like many things I can think of, cucumbers would not make the list.

    We got to the store and she immediately begins scanning the crowd for Dwayne, the manager. She knows that Dwayne is the key to mass quantities of Buddy Bucks and therefore also the key to Mama losing her mind in HEB. It was a sad day when she realized that Dwayne wasn’t there to shower her with Buddy Buck goodness.

    Fortunately all was not lost because she did get to make a trip to the bathroom and smell the cucumbers.

  • The solid rock

    One of my favorite parts of the Bible is when Joshua is about to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. In the first chapter of Joshua, God tells him three different times to “Be strong and courageous”. Whenever I am feeling less than strong and courageous (which is more often than I like to admit), I go and read Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

    Sure enough, God was with the Israelites and they crossed into the Promised Land. After they got there God told Joshua to choose twelve men from each tribe and have them each take a stone and place it as a memorial to the people of Israel to remind them of what God had done for them.

    “In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’,
    tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the convenant of the Lord.
    When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.
    These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
    Joshua 4: 6-7

    When I am facing a challenge or needing to be reminded of how faithful God is, I remember this passage and think about the “stones” in my life. We all have them. Those times that looked so hopeless and then God took care of us in ways that we couldn’t have imagined. That’s what He does, because He is…you know, God and all.

    So, while technically I am still on a bloggy break, I thought I would share these thoughts along with two links that tell about two of my personal memorial stones.
    Stone #1
    Stone #2

  • It’s break time

    Sometimes life just gets a little hectic and it seems like I’ve hit one of those times. I have a lot on my plate right now and just need to step back and take a little blog break for the next few days.

    In the meantime, since I seem to have a lot of new readers these days, I’ll leave y’all with some of my favorite posts about the family of Big Mama.

    This is about my big Italian family

    This is about my Big Bob

    This is about my Mema

    This is about my Papa

    This is about my Nanny

    I’ll see y’all in a few days. God bless.

  • If I embarrass her now, just wait

    One day this week, I walked Caroline into her class at school and as I hugged her goodbye, she noticed the necklace I had on. She kept her arm around me, turned to her friends sitting at the table and said with pride, “This is my Mama, she wears beautiful jewelry”.

    Ironically, when I wore my houseshoes to her ballet class the next day, she didn’t feel the need to introduce me.

    She’s such an accessories snob.

  • Dogs, pigs and Longhorns…oh my!

    I realize that in talking about the toxic poop blowout yesterday, I completely overlooked all of the excitement we had this past weekend that didn’t involve throwing away a perfectly good pair of tights. I now feel it is my duty (as opposed to doody) to fill y’all in on the big happenings at the house of Big Mama.

    Please realize that the term “big happenings” may be a slight exaggeration.

    Saturday, Mimi and Bops took Caroline and me to see Go Dog Go! at the local children’s theater. It was our first trip to the theater and I have to say that all of us loved it. The performance was great and I loved watching Caroline’s face as she laughed out loud at so many different parts. The whole experience was perfect, except for the beginning when the director, who apparently forgot he was talking to an audience made up of little people with attention spans like a housefly on speed, kept going on and on about the concept behind Go Dog Go!. Bops leaned over and whispered “This guy is about to put me under”, so just imagine how the younger crowd felt.

    After the show, Caroline and I drove down to meet P at the ranch. I realize that some of y’all may be wondering when Big Mama became a showcase of dead animals as opposed to a bastion of mediocre writing, so I promise this will be the last picture of carnage that I’ll post for awhile. But Caroline was so proud of what she and her daddy “KILLED” that I just have to share this picture.

    In case any of y’all are wondering, those aren’t actually pigs, they are javelinas and they are nasty, stinky little creatures that have sharp teeth. It was like a dream come true watching my baby girl poke and prod these dead animals…really like something out of Beatrix Potter book.

    And speaking of livestock that didn’t fare too well, how about the Aggies giving the Longhorns a 100-82 beating last night? Y’all didn’t think I wouldn’t mention it, did you? Gig’em Ags!

    I promise that I will now return to our regular programming of things that don’t involve dead pigs and sports.