Month: June 2008

I agree with the Sham part, it’s the Wow I’m having trouble with

While I was gone last weekend (Have I mentioned I was gone? Will I ever quit talking about it?) Caroline and P spent some quality time together.

My first clue that they’d watched some television shows of the hunting and fishing genre came when I called to let them know that I had arrived at the airport. Caroline answered and said, “Mama? Is your plane here?”

“Yes. Are y’all coming to pick me up?”

“We’re on our way. Mama! YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT. I SAW SOME PEOPLE ON T.V. CATCHING FISH WITH A BOW AND ARROW!”

Call it intuition, but I was pretty sure that Dora and Boots hadn’t spent any time spear-fishing while crossing through the lollipop mountain and the chocolate forest.

Although how awesome would it be if one day Dora told Boots that in some countries he’d be considered dinner so maybe he should just look at the map and keep his mouth shut?

No? Just me?

Forget I said anything.

But of all the things she saw this weekend on the various outdoor programming, she found one thing that has left her completely enraptured.

The ShamWow.

Apparently the ShamWow appeals to folks who enjoy the hunting and fishing programs.

Later on that night, the ShamWow commercial came on. Caroline heard it, stopped what she was doing and ran into the living room.

“OH MAMA. YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!”

“What is it?”

“SHHHHH. Just watch. You’ll never have to buy paper towels again. It’s only $20.00. It lasts FOR YEARS. IT CLEANS UP SPILLS FAST!”

For the next three minutes she repeated every line of the ShamWow commercial back to me while P just smiled.

I have a feeling that someone in my house may have ordered the ShamWow while I was gone.

And y’all know he didn’t just order one.

Because the ShamWow can be used to dry your car.
So I’m still talking about the weekend

I was going to post about everything I talked about at She Speaks but, when I copied and pasted my Word document full of notes over here, it was incredibly boring.

Not that this is going to be any better but, you know, at least I’m going for effort.

My portion of the seminar was on blogging boundaries, etiquette and privacy. Which can basically be summed up by saying USE GOOD MANNERS AND GOOD SENSE.

There is no need to leave someone a comment letting them know that you are now dumber for reading their blog.

But just in case you want to read the whole boring page of notes, minus my less than witty ad-libs, I’ve posted it on a separate page which you can find here.

All two of you are very welcome.

On another note from the weekend, there was just this darlin’ girl leading worship. I immediately loved her voice and then I found out she’s an Aggie. It made me so proud.

Anyway, her name is Lindsey Kane. You can hear her here.

Go check her out. Get her to come sing at your church. Buy her CD. Download her on iTunes. You will not regret it. She has an awesome heart for worship.

So I basically stalked her so that I could tell her how great I thought she was and that we were both Aggies.

And it totally paid off because she gave me an autographed CD to give away to one of y’all.

All you have to do is leave a comment and I’ll use a random number generator to pick a winner on Friday.

In other news, Caroline and P survived the weekend. In fact, when I called home on Saturday to check in, P asked her if she wanted to talk to me and she said yes.

“Mama?”

“Hi Baby. How are you?”

“Good. Mama, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, what?” (Preparing myself for an emotional speech about how much she misses me and can’t wait to see me.)

“I’m hanging up now. Daddy and I have to go.”

Seriously.

Is it just me or does that bring a tear to your eye?
And at some point I lost track of how many M&M’s I consumed

Several months ago Lysa Terkeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries contacted Sophie, Shannon and me to see if we were interested in teaching a few sessions on blogging at the She Speaks Conference.

I believe my answer was somewhere along the eloquent lines of “I don’t have nothin’ else to do”.

Which is exactly what Loretta Lynn said in “Coalminer’s Daughter” when they asked if she could appear on the Grand Ol’ Opry the following week.

My response wasn’t because of lack of enthusiasm, but because I was pretty sure she had contacted the wrong person and would eventually figure it out.

But as it turns out, she meant to call me and so I spent this past weekend in North Carolina sharing my blogging “expertise”.

It was a short class.

Other than meeting Shannon and Sophie last fall, I had never met any other bloggers in real life before this weekend and I have to say it was so cool to be in a room full of other people who carry their laptops everywhere and take pictures of random things like plates of nachos or people’s feet.

I thought it was just me.

Except I would never take a picture of someone’s foot because I have feet issues. They are vast and complicated. I can’t really get into it right now.

I arrived in North Carolina on Thursday night and Sophie and I immediately went in search of chips and salsa. As we walked out of the hotel doors, we heard a sweet voice say, “Can I get a picture of y’all? You’re famous!”

And I thought MOTHER PEARL!, BRAD AND ANGELINA ARE HERE! while frantically looking around so that I wouldn’t miss them. It turned out she was talking about us. Sophie and me. The least famous of any two people who have ever walked through a lobby at Embassy Suites.

But we posed for a picture that could possibly fetch upwards of a nickel if it ever gets put up on Ebay.

Then we went somewhere and ate a plate of nachos that consisted of enough shredded lettuce to feed the entire rabbit population of North Carolina.

There are so many things I want to say about the weekend, but I don’t know where to start. I loved getting the chance to meet so many people whose words I have read, but have never been able to meet face to face. Every woman I met was just as sweet and funny as they are on their blogs.

The entire Proverbs 31 staff could not have been more helpful, encouraging and supportive. They went out of their way for every woman there. And I can’t even talk about the sheer fabulousness of Lysa Terkeurst’s hair or the tears will begin to flow.

As I flew home yesterday, I thought about the entire weekend. The experiences I had, the people I met, the things I learned and I just felt so blessed that I had the opportunity.

In fact, I only have one regret from the weekend that I will carry with me for the better part of the next three to four days.

Well, other than my regret that I referred to constipation in a room full of women.

This tunic.

It’s pure cuteness, is it not?

Off topic, but does anyone else see Inspector Clouseau in the corner of the picture?

The tunic was at Off 5th in the Concord Mills Outlet and I passed it by. Mainly because its retail cost was in the range of a number that could have caused some marital distress once I came off my giddy weekend high and returned home.

P doesn’t believe in spending a lot of money on anything that cannot be used to defend your life in threatening situations.

So with great regret, and after confirming that the store was not within moments of knocking 75% off the price, I walked away.

But I will remember it fondly forever.

Much like the weekend.

Thanks to Lysa and Proverbs 31. It was awesome.
Easy like Sunday morning

Well, I’m sitting here in the airport in Charlotte, North Carolina listening to David Crowder on a Sunday morning.

I mean, he’s not here. I am listening to him on my iPod.

But how cool would it be if David Crowder hit the airport circuit on Sunday mornings?

At least on the Sunday mornings that I happen to be traveling, which is pretty much never.

I’ve been up since 6:30 a.m. Can you tell?

So, that’s it. Big Mama OUT.

I’ll be back tomorrow with thoughts from the weekend.

Deep and compelling thoughts.

Or at least a report about how new wedge heels are good in theory, but can leave blisters when you wear them for twelve hours at a time.
Saturday morning miracle

I’m sitting in a hotel room in North Carolina right now at the She Speaks Conference and I’ve just witnessed a miracle.

About two months ago, P and I sat on the couch one night and downloaded a bunch of our CD’s to iTunes (is that even the right terminology? I have no idea.)

All of a sudden, tragedy struck.

One of the CD’s got stuck in the drive of my beloved MacBook.

There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

How am I supposed to make any more super awesome mix CD’s if I have no access to my CD drive?

So for the last two months my MacBook has been afflicted. It has been slow to perform even the most basic of functions, much like me after a day of trying to police Caroline’s wardrobe selections.

And sure, I kept thinking that I needed to take it to the Apple Store for some sort of tech intervention. However, the Apple Store is far away from my house and I could almost just buy a new computer as opposed to spending the gas money to drive all the way out there.

This morning Sophie offered to see if she could get the CD out of my disc drive.

And lo, Boomama laid hands on my computer and it was healed.

I may have shouted, “MY MAC HAS BEEN REDEEMED!”

It was a very complicated process that involved turning on the computer while holding down the eject button.

Which just confirms that I really have no business owning a computer.
Not just in my mind, I’m going to Carolina

Remember how last Friday I said that I’d post about fashion this week?

Yeah, I’m not going to.

I completely underestimated how tired I would be after a three-hour flight and all the stress of making sure that my suitcase came in at under fifty pounds.

It was 46.5 pounds.

I’m so glad I took out my hairdryer and that extra pair of jeans.

Anyway, my flight was pretty uneventful except for the fact that I ended up sitting next to a nice young man in the Air Force who was on his way to visit his fiancée.

I knew I was in trouble when he sat down with no apparent reading material.

Sure enough, he wanted to talk.

And since I am a patriot, I could not ignore him. After all, he is serving our country.

So I heard all about his upcoming wedding, bachelor trip to Vegas, and weekend plans over the course of the next two hours.

As opposed to enjoying the silence and reading a book.

Anyway, the travel has worn me out and I’ve also lost an hour due to the time change.

And I still have PMS.

However, here is one fashion-related thought.

When I arrived in Charlotte, I walked outside and immediately noticed that it actually felt nice. The reason for this is because the high was only 89 degrees.

I may need a sweater to ward off the chill.

Y’all have a great Friday. I’ll check in over the weekend.