Year: 2009

Edition 62: Fashion Friday

P just informed me that he was ready to go to bed which is his subtle way of letting me know it’s time for me to vacate our bedroom and move myself and my Macbook into the living room. I guess there are only so many hunting shows you can watch on the DVR before you just flat wear yourself out and, since I had possession of the computer, he wasn’t able to watch any vintage 70’s T.V. to help him stay up past 10:00 p.m.

I gathered up all my things and said, “Hey, I’m about to work on a Fashion Friday post. Are you sure you don’t want to stay up and weigh in on fall trends?”

He replied, “Yes. I’m sure.”

“Really? Because I’d love to get your thoughts on the color red.”

Blank stare.

Then he said, “Listen, I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care about what I wear. I’m not trying to impress anyone.”

As if that wasn’t obvious when we had friends over for dinner yesterday evening and he donned his nicest Under Armour shirt for the occasion.

I told him, “I think you hit that point about twenty years ago.”

“You’re right, I did. Good night.”

Although to be fair, he did own a pair of dark green jeans when we started dating back in 1995 and you don’t just accidentally own green denim. It takes some thought and effort. Of course I don’t really know that green jeans were in style in 1995 so it’s probably more likely that he found them on the clearance rack at Academy.

I’m officially ready to resume Fashion Friday but I feel like I need to offer a disclaimer before I jump back in. Which I hate to do because I am not a fan of reading disclaimers, much less actually giving disclaimers.

I adore Fashion Friday and I love getting questions and doing what I can to help a girl in her time of sartorial need, but there is no way that I can answer every question I receive. I just have to say that because I cannot tell you how stressed out I get when I realize that someone sent me a question about what they should wear to the Monster Truck Rally in two weeks and I don’t have time to give them an answer before the big event. And I just have to hope and pray that they had the sense to wear their best t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and possibly a bandana tied around the leg of their jeans.

Most of the time I try to stick with questions that are a little more general in nature because it can be so hard to figure out what to tell you to wear to your second cousin’s nephew’s graduation in Vermont when it might be 80 degrees or could be 34 degrees and you’re trying to lose some baby weight so you might be a size 14 or you could be a size 6.

I vow to do my very best, but please don’t be offended if I don’t get to your question. It’s nothing personal; it’s just that sometimes I have to eat and sleep and feed my family. Sadly, none of those things happen while I’m searching the internet for fabulousness, which is really something Al Gore should have thought about.

Blah, blah, blah, just get to the point.

I thought we’d start with the top 10 trends for Fall. I’ll discuss four this week and six next week because I am a fan of suspense and intrigue.

(I have to confess that my original plan was to discuss five this week and five the next, but it’s late and I’m tired so I’m leaving it at four. We have meet the teacher tomorrow and I want us to be stunning and impossibly fresh-looking for the occasion. Not to mention, I’m going to need my strength to get Caroline to wear something other than the hot pink velour sweatpants that she’s determined to wear because she wants to have a heat stroke.)

1. Red

I have a complicated relationship with the color red. On one hand, I love it. On the other hand, it sometimes frightens me with its boldness. So, in many ways, it’s very similar to how I feel about Richard Simmons, which is to say it might be best in small doses.

Of course that being said, I would totally wear this gorgeous Calvin Klein dress but it’s probably a little much for Mexican food on a Friday night.

On a more practical note, you could add a great pair of red shoes or a red bag like this to an outfit to give it a little bit of fab.

If you’re a mom on the go, I think these would be a fun way to add a little red to your wardrobe and if you laugh at the idea of a budget, then please buy these and let me live vicariously through you.

Another great way to add some red would be with a cute blazer (Oh my word, is it 1993 again? When did I last use the term ‘blazer’?) or a trench coat. I also love this scarf in red and black.

And if you’re really daring and avant garde, then check out this red satin jacket. It takes me right back to 1979 when the hottest thing in my closet was a red satin jacket with blue stripes from Weiners.

2. Leopard Print

If loving leopard print is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. I am a fan.

I adore this little faux fur coat, but something like this trench might be a little more understated and practical.

You can never go wrong with a great leopard print flat or even a great heel. And I’ve been in love with these clogs for years.

Also, never underestimate the power of a leopard print handbag. It’s a very versatile accessory and I even saw some at Target yesterday but I can’t find the link because the internet hates me.

But, totally off the animal print subject, I saw this fabulous bag while I got lost in the world of Kate Spade and am officially in deep like.

3. Leggings

Don’t shoot the messenger. I would be remiss if I left leggings off the list because they are one of the top fall trends. It doesn’t mean you have to wear them so just settle down if this news makes you feel a little irritable.

Truthfully, I’m not opposed to leggings. I can actually envision an outfit that involves leggings, a long sweater and tall boots and in my mind it looks pretty cute. It’s just a look that will work for some people and cause others to curl up in the fetal position and wait for the leggings mania to die down.

On the upside, you can find leggings in every color, price range, or pattern that your heart desires.

And don’t forget that they also come in denim. Gulley and I saw those in Nordstrom this week and I swear I thought they moved the childrens’ department upstairs because I never see denim that tiny unless I’m shopping for Caroline.

4. Ruffles

Ruffles are everywhere for the fall. You can find them on bags, shoes, and even boot shoes.

There are also several great shirts that allow you to add a little ruffleage to your wardrobe and that’s hard to do since I just made up the word ruffleage.

Or you could go with a faux leather jacket with ruffle details.

That’s it for today. Stay tuned next week when I’ll discuss the final six trends for fall.

Or maybe just three of them if I’m tired and want to go to bed.

Y’all have a great Friday.
Maybe she’s been reading The Zoe Report

I’m sure you’ve all been worried sick about our backpack deficiency so I am proud to share that, as of 11:00 a.m. yesterday morning, we acquired a Disney Princess backpack at Academy. I’m not sure what the difference is between the Disney Princess backpack at the Disney Store and the one on sale at Academy, but it’s probably better for my mental health if I just let it go.

I have no doubt that we would be better served with a sturdy backpack from L.L. Bean or Lands End, but when I showed them to Caroline this morning they were met with a resounding “THOSE ARE SO BORING”. She has never been a big believer in the whole less is more theory or in carrying around an accessory that doesn’t come complete with sparkles.

Academy was our first stop of the day because, geographically, it made more sense to go there before we went to Target. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it once or seventy times, but the Target moved to a new location and it takes an additional seven minutes and three stoplights to get there. Meanwhile, Academy isn’t close to anything except for a Wienerschnitzel because everyone knows that folks who enjoy sports and outdoors like to indulge in the occasional footlong chilidog.

The favor of God rested on me at Academy because finding tennis shoes was unbelievably easy. We walked down the aisle while I silently willed her not to notice all the ghetto fab shoes complete with lights and Bratz dolls on them, and she picked out a sporty pair of Nikes with a hot pink swoosh and, hear the chorus of angels sing, velcro closures. It took everything in me to only act moderately interested in her choice because I knew if I got too excited she would sense that she’d made the wrong choice if there was any hope of driving me to the brink of a psychotic episode.

After we purchased the shoes and the backpack, I still felt like we should go to Target to check out their selection. We strolled the back to school aisles filled with tired mamas holding their Venti Lattes and, lo and behold, there was a Barbie backpack.

Apparently Barbie is SO YESTERDAY because she wasn’t interested.

However, she was very interested in the clothing section and saw several things she wanted. For several minutes I felt like I was shopping with Rachel Zoe because she kept saying, “Oh I am dying to have that”. I was just waiting for her to declare that something was “bananas”.

We got home and received our letter from the school informing us who her teacher will be this year. I was thrilled because it turns out that her teacher is a good friend of my dear friend AJ and I’d secretly hoped that’s who she’d get.

Caroline sat next to me while we opened the letter and I told her that her new teacher is a good friend of AJ’s.

She was excited because she loves AJ and asked, “Is she the same age as AJ?”

“Yes. I think they’re the same age.”

“So…she’s young?”

“Yes, she’s young.”

“Oh good! That means she probably won’t die soon.”

Well, yes. I guess that’s one way to look at it.

Of course maybe she didn’t mean “die” in the literal sense as much as “die” because her mom refused to buy her a bright green t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark panda bear on the front holding a red lame’ heart in the girls’ department at Target.

It could go either way.

And on a fashion-related note, there’s an 84% chance that I’m resuming Fashion Fridays starting tomorrow.
I can’t get the SWAT theme song out of my head

On Monday I wrote out a list of everything I needed to accomplish before school starts next week. It basically looked like this:

1. Buy Caroline new tennis shoes
2. Buy Caroline a new backpack
3. Buy Caroline a new lunchbox
4. Try to get Caroline in bed before 9:00 p.m.

Today is Wednesday and none of these things have actually happened, which kind of stresses me out because it all has to be done by Thursday. This weekend is tax-free weekend in the state of Texas and there isn’t enough anti-anxiety medication available on the free market to make me venture into any type of store during that seventy-two hour time period. I’ll pay the 8.25% sales tax and keep my sanity for $100, Alex.

I’m not sure the sales tax is actually 8.25% but it looks right so I’m sticking with it. I could google it but, frankly, I’ve used up all my energy worried about our lack of a backpack.

We shopped for backpacks yesterday but couldn’t find one that she loved and I feel it’s important for a girl to feel good about her school accessories. Of course it would be helpful if someone would state from the beginning that they would like a Barbie backpack instead of saying that they want a Disney Princess backpack which causes you to take someone to the Disney Store where they do not, in fact, sell Barbie backpacks or any other Barbie merchandise because they do not want Barbie stealing any trampy thunder from the new vamped up version of Tinkerbell.

Also, Pottery Barn Kids, who do you think you’re fooling with your $50.00 backpack? I hope it comes complete with a tutor.

So today we will set out at dawn or 10:30 a.m. in a renewed quest for the perfect backpack and will go where we should have gone from the beginning, the place where all the magic really happens, Target.

And, fortunately, Target also has a Starbucks because I am going to need a large dose of caffeine to get through the day because I went out with some girlfriends last night and, when I got home, P hogged the computer for the next two hours because he was watching old episodes of SWAT on Hulu and I couldn’t use it to write this lame post that kind of makes me want to apologize to all of you for the three minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

I guess, technically, I could have used my iPhone to write a post but I’m still getting used to the keyboard and, while I’ve never thought much about the size of my thumbs, they now feel impossibly large and cumbersome. The keyboard makes me feel like I want to purchase a stylus for texting purposes, but I think Steve Jobs might show up in person to take my phone away from me and put it in the hands of someone a lot more cool and edgy, like maybe the woman who hosts “Sit and Be Fit” on PBS.

Anyway, the point is that I’m going to need caffeine. And a Barbie backpack.

And probably some Advil before it’s all said and done.
And now I’ll never ride in a taxi with a rabid dog

Guess what? Today is the twelfth anniversary of the second day after I was married.

Seriously, I realize it’s enough of all the celebrations. It’s just what happens when you choose to cram all your major life events into a two week window. I’ll tell you what else happens, it causes a little bit of the melancholy to set in because it’s like BAM! my baby is a year older, BAM! I’m a year older, BAM! P and I have been married another year, and, finally, BAM! it’s time to start another school year.

Apparently, along with all these milestones, I have also turned into Emeril Lagasse.

It’s all enough to make me feel like I need some type of mild sedative and a clock that can, in the words of Cher, turn back time.

On Friday night, P, Caroline and I went to eat Mexican food with Mimi, Bops, Gulley and Will. There is really no other way to celebrate a birthday than by consuming large amounts of guacamole and chips. After dinner, Caroline went home to spend the night with Mimi and Bops and P told me we could stop on the way home and buy my birthday present.

Look what I got.

Complete with a really cute hot pink case.

It’s made out of hard plastic because my friend AJ cautioned me against buying the gel case because your hair gets caught in it when you talk on the phone. I cannot tell you how much I value any advice that relates to the care and maintenance of my hair.

I don’t know how on earth P knew I wanted an iPhone other than the fact that I’ve dropped subtle hints approximately every day for the last two months. And by subtle, I mean things like “Wow, I really want an iPhone for my birthday.”

Actually, I almost went and bought one for myself in mid-July but then, the night before I was planning on making the purchase, I went shopping with Gulley and Steph at Nordstrom Rack and found some white jeans that fulfilled every dream I have long held in the pursuit of white denim. Naturally, I had to buy them because a good pair of white jeans are like the mythical unicorn, rare to the point of non-existent.

The next day I told P about my white jeans and he informed me that I was now wearing my new iPhone. I’ll be honest, the white jeans are great but they are totally useless when it comes to texting.

So, I was thrilled to walk into the AT&T store on Friday night to pick up my new precious and made sure to let P know how much more efficiently I’ll run my faux media empire now that I have the proper technology. Not to mention that I couldn’t wait to download the app that makes real live tooting noises because it will keep Caroline entertained for HOURS.

As we walked out of the store, I was completely hypnotized by the screen. I was sliding my finger across the screen trying out everything in sight and attempting to send text messages that read, “I’m texting you from my new iPhone, SUCKERS” to everyone I know, even though most of them have had iPhones for the last two years. I felt that after years of suffering through the archaic predictive texting on my Motorola Razr and being mocked by people who liked to tell me they had my exact same phone back when they were in high school, I deserved just a small moment of Apple glory.

I was totally caught up in the fabulousness when P had to grab me to keep me from walking right into someone and said, “I feel like I just bought you an accident for your birthday”.

He is hilarious.

After we got home I spent most of the night playing with all the different features and searching the Apps store for important applications, such as being able to receive information about a weird law from different parts of the world every day. How did I live thirty-eight years without knowing it’s illegal to carry a rabid dog in a taxicab in London? Now, thanks to modern technology and people with way too much time on their hands, I can get that kind of useful information on a daily basis.

In the interest of full disclosure, I feel compelled to share that we also spent part of Friday night going through P’s jar of change. He was concerned about having enough quarters to run his truck through the car wash on a weekly basis so he poured out all his change and we transformed into two nerdy coin collectors sorting quarters by state.

“Oh LOOK! We have three from Idaho!”

“WOW! I just found one from Wyoming?”

“Do we have a Texas?”

And so I spent my thirty-eighth birthday learning fancy new technology and counting change. Then I took out my teeth and went to bed.

On Saturday morning, Gulley called me because our friend Jen was in town and we needed to figure out our plans for the day. Once we figured out what we were doing, I told her I’d call Jen to let her know the plans and what time to meet us. I decided to use my new phone to call her, so I picked it up, scrolled through my contacts to find her number and then, I KID YOU NOT, realized I had no idea how to actually make a call on the phone, which is kind of important since it is A PHONE.

I have never been so glad that P wasn’t around because if he had witnessed me going to Apple.com to watch the iPhone instruction video so that I could actually use it for its intended purpose?

Well, let’s just say there are some embarrassments too great to endure.
Twelve years of safety lectures otherwise known as a lesson in futility

P and I got married twelve years ago today. To be honest, it feels a little anti-climatic because I spent most of this year thinking we’d already been married for twelve years, but it turns out it was only eleven.

I mentioned to P that some of you were curious to see a list of the ten things I do that get on his nerves and I pressed him further to see what some of those things might be since it’s hard for me to imagine anything. It certainly couldn’t be my flair for the dramatic or the charming way I immediately envision the worst case scenario for any life-changing event.

He said that one of his biggest pet peeves is that I am not very safety conscious. It drives him crazy that I forget to lock doors or quit playing with matches. I told him that was ironic considering that what drives me crazy about him are his constant lectures on safety.

And that pretty much sums up marriage.

His strengths are my weaknesses. My weaknesses are his strengths.

But after twelve (not thirteen!) years of marriage, I wouldn’t trade his safety lectures for anything in the world. He has not only made my life safer; he’s made it a lot more fun.

photo by Hollimon Photography

I love you, P. Happy Anniversary.

And, yes, I remembered to lock my car doors.

I think.
The last Good Nites winner

It’s time to announce the final winner in the GoodNites Bedtime Moments contest. Click over to my giveaways page to see who won. Thanks to everyone for your participation!