Year: 2009

My makeup bag overfloweth

This weekend has left me with what we in the industry refer to as writer’s block.

I have no idea what I mean when I say “industry”. Blog industry? Mom industry? The National Federation of Backhouse Painters Industry? The Women with Severe PMS Industry? People Who Procrastinate and Watch the Grammys Industry?

Whatever. I am struggling with the words.

So I’m pulling out a fascinating topic. Beauty products. Specifically the top ten beauty products that are currently my can’t-live-without items. This list rotates from time to time because I believe a true beauty regimen is like a shark; you have to keep moving or you will die.

Or at least have deep wrinkles and age spots.

And I don’t really know if that’s true about the sharks but I heard it one time and it made a lasting impression.

1. Oil of Olay Microdermabrasion & Peel System

I am a huge believer in microdermabrasion. It has rescued me from a vast wasteland of sun damage in the form of large freckles, otherwise known as age spots. I’ve tried other brands, but I think this one is the best.

Of course maybe it’s just because it makes my whole face heat up which gives the illusion of effectiveness.

2. Hummingbird Farms Lavender Lotion

If you ignore everything else on this list, do not ignore this. I have really dry skin and, therefore, a lotion obsession. Actually, it’s more of a passion.

After discovering this miracle in a bottle two years ago, I cannot live without it. It is literally the only thing that keeps my hands from cracking and peeling during the winter and it smells much like I imagine heaven will smell.

I am totally addicted. All other lotion is dead to me.

3. Oil of Olay Regenerist Night Cream

I decided to try this after I saw it in a magazine article that compared it to La Mer. And as much as I’d love to try La Mer, I believe that flawless skin would be pointless if I couldn’t afford to pay the light bill because no one could see me.

Anyway, this moisturizer feels so good when I put it on and, while I don’t know if I look like I’ve had a mini-face lift each morning, it has definitely diminished the size of the wrinkles in my forehead that used to greet me in the mirror at the beginning of each new day.

4. Neutrogena Healthy Skin Enhancer

This is the greatest invention ever for busy women everywhere. It’s sheer coverage, spf 20, and moisturizer with retinol all in one convenient package.

It’s genius. Sheer genius.

Neutrogena? Call me if you’d like to use that as your marketing slogan. Or maybe you already use it. Whatever.

5. Cover Girl Lash Blast Mascara

I’ve talked about this before and it is a big deal that I am still committed to it after a year. Mascara monogamy has never been my strong suit.

It goes on great, lasts all day, and it’s cheap.

6. Physicians Formula Bronzer

Let’s just say wintertime + my face = pasty white.

I will give you a small piece of advice. Don’t overdo the bronzer or you will have what I refer to as “white neck syndrome” and in photographs you could look like a big, tan, floating head hovering above a body.

Hypothetically speaking.

7. Aussie Hi-Hold Hi-Shine Hairspray

I bought this hairspray at Target a while back because I saw the purple Aussie bottle and became completely nostalgic for all the good times I had with my Aussie Sprunch Spray from 1986-1990.

Also, it was only $2.99.

As it turns out, I really like it. It has a decent amount of hold, even in humidity, and makes my hair look a little shinier than usual.

Plus, I am a total sucker for that grape smell. Hello 1987, I have missed you.

8. Olive oil and castor oil

Last spring, I asked y’all for your best beauty secrets and a few different people mentioned this. Needless to say, I was completely intrigued and had to try it immediately.

I went to the drugstore and armed myself with some Stridex pads just in case things went awry and I found myself in some serious need of breakout medication.

But y’all, it totally works. I use the oil-cleansing method about 2-3 times a week and it makes my face feel so good. I highly recommend it.

Okay, so you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m ending the list at eight. I would so love to add two more things to make it an even ten, but my mind has never been more blank.

Which probably means I should add some Omega 3 Fish Oil-type thing to my beauty regimen because my brain function might need more help than my eyelashes.

I’d love to hear about any great beauty finds that you’ve recently discovered because knowledge is power and so is a good moisturizer.
Edition 50: Fashion Friday

Normally I start Fashion Friday with some kind of light-hearted anecdote that somehow relates to fashion or something like that, but not today because I have something serious to discuss.

Y’all there is an epidemic sweeping across the nation and we can no longer turn a blind eye.

I’m talking about the Snuggie and/or the Slanket.

It was bad enough that it has made its polyester way into my own family, but then many of you owned up to your own Snuggie/Slanket issues in the comments. The final straw was when I read this post by Melissa about how the Slanket has infiltrated her family as well.

It’s just not right.

Look people, I know what it’s like to feel cold. I spend a good portion of my life wrapped in some sort of blanket, but are we really at a point in society and, more importantly in fashion, where we need a blanket with sleeves?

Really, some of the blame for this lies with the Amish. Ever since they limited the purchase of their patented Heat Surge Roll-N-Glow Electric Fireplace to just two per customer, people are looking for new, inexpensive ways to stay warm.

I also think the economy being in the toilet is to blame and we’re all looking for a way to return to the comfort of the womb, but I just don’t believe the Slanket/Snuggie or a $920,000,000,000 bailout is going to make that happen.

(Actually, I would probably feel a lot better if the government would just send me my share of that check.)

Then last night I received an email from Brenda at Family Revised that included this picture.

picture from curbly.com

That, my friends, is a pimped-out Snuggie/Slanket.

Yeah, like that makes it better.

Now for the questions.

1. Laura asks: “I live up the road in Austin, and as you know, it’s currently 80 degrees in January. I can’t possibly get out my springtime clothes right now, as my mother who lives 900 miles away would KNOW if I wore linen, pastels, or white before Easter. So my question is, what’s a Texas girl supposed to wear when it’s unseasonably warm in the winter?”

Laura, I would hate for your mama to have to drive 900 miles just to yank some pastel linens off your body before you brought lasting shame to your family. And you and I both know that could totally happen.

The key to seasonally-appropriate dress when the weather isn’t seasonally appropriate is to look for lightweight tops and t-shirts in fall/winter colors. Also keep in mind that layering is your friend because sometimes the mornings start out chilly and then warm up quickly.

This winter, as we all know by now, I have made much use of the scarf as an accessory. You can pair a lightweight scarf with a long-sleeve or short-sleeve t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Start off the day with a light sweater or cute coat over it and you’ve got an outfit that will take you from a low of 42 to a high of 78, which just happens to be tomorrow’s forecast.

On the bright side, at least you won’t be tempted to buy a Snuggie.

2. Amy asks: “My question to you is this…is it ok to wear jeans, a sweater, and open toed pumps?”

Yes, I believe that it is as long as you’re ready to deal with any possible frostbite issues. Just make sure that it’s more of a peep-toe shoe that shows just a hint of toe as opposed to any sort of sandal.

My advice is to stay away from full-toe nudity in the wintertime unless it’s a formal occasion.

3. Sylvia asks: “I’ve been a stay at home mom for a while (years) and my uniform consists of jeans and t-shirts. I’m going back to work three days a week and have a very limited budget. So, what do I HAVE to have, where do I get it, how can I get it as cheaply as possible and how do I wear it once I get it?”

There are a lot of issues packed into this one question, but I’m going to do my best to help you out.

The first thing I’ll say is that I wouldn’t go buy a whole bunch of stuff until you’ve worked there a few weeks and gotten a good feel for the office dress code. Once you have a better idea of what other people wear, you’ll have a better idea of what you’ll need.

A few basics that I’d suggest are a good pair of black pants. They don’t have to be expensive, but they should fit well and be comfortable. If you can afford it, you would also be well-served to get another pair of pants in either a charcoal gray color or some shade of camel. I’m not going to link to any specific pairs because I think your best bet is going to be someplace like Kohl’s or TJ Maxx and possibly Target. Just dig through the racks and try on a bunch of different pairs even if they don’t look great on the hanger. They might surprise you.

Once you have those foundation pieces then you can look for a few different tops. Since you have a limited budget, I’d suggest sticking to a simple palette of shirts that you can change up using various accessories like scarves, necklaces, or sweaters. Another great thing to have would be a nice trenchcoat and maybe a few different jackets that you can wear with various skirts and pants.

My last suggestion is to go look at the Outfits section on the Ann Taylor or Ann Taylor Loft site. You can find looks that you like and then go look for similar pieces at various discount stores.

I hope that helps!

4. Kim asks: “I’m about to have baby #2 by scheduled c-section and would like to look good in the hospital. I’m planning on getting my hair blown out and having a pedi/mani the day before. My question is what should I wear? I don’t want to be stuck in a hospital gown for those first pictures of baby and mama.”

Amen, Kim. Amen.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate a woman who wants to look her best immediately after giving birth. Those pictures will be around for years to come and dragged out at every high school graduation and rehearsal dinner video montage and there’s no reason to suffer for eternity in a bad hospital gown.

Target has really cute gowns and pajamas these days. You might be able to find something there in a few sizes larger than you’d normally wear.

When I had Caroline, I ordered a pair of pajamas from The Cat’s Pajamas. They have really good sales in their outlet section and they are so soft. One last site you may want to check out is Sleepyheads.

And one last piece of unsolicited advice, bring your own pretty pillowcase to the hospital. It will make your pictures look that much better, plus you’ll have a little piece of home with you instead of scratchy, sterile hospital linens.

5. Amy asks: “Is it true that you shouldn’t wear black to a wedding?”

No, it’s an urban myth. I just wouldn’t wear any kind of black armband which might lead folks to believe you’re in some kind of mourning, but a little black dress is always appropriate.

6. Megan asks: “I’ve noticed a ridiculous increase in the number of Bender Ball, 8-second Abs, ‘I lost 437 pounds of belly fat in 3 weeks’, etc. commercials. Combine these commercials with the swing in the political climate and the economy in a state where most of us can only afford half a shirt anyway…Do you think that ‘the ab’ is going to make a comeback as a desirable fashion accessory?”

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but my abs are way past making any kind of comeback.

Frankly, I’d rather wear a Snuggie or a Slanket, especially if it’s pimped out.

Okay, that’s all the questions for this week.

Like I mentioned last week, I’m adding a Mr. Linky to the bottom of this post. Please feel free to link to your very own Fashion Friday tip or fashion find. Just please make sure that you link to your specific post and not just the url for your blog. You have until Sunday to post your link and then I’ll shut it down.

Y’all have a great Friday.
Except her title is “Miss 5 AND A HALF”

Yesterday was a big day at our house because Caroline turned five. AND A HALF.

This is a milestone she’s been waiting on since the day she turned five last August and I am so happy that she is now officially five AND A HALF because I no longer have to listen to her angst about just being “plain five”. And really who can blame her for all the excitement? I know I cannot wait until I turn 37 AND A HALF later this month.

Since she is like me and cursed with the summer birthday, she gets to celebrate her half-birthday during the school year. They didn’t offer this half-birthday class party feature back in 1977. I endured a lifetime of pool parties with whichever three friends happened to not be out of town on vacation. It’s a wonder I’m not in therapy.

Fortunately, my child has a brighter future filled with faux birthday celebrations. She’ll never have to suffer through the endless parade of fall and spring class birthday parties knowing she’ll never get her moment in the sun. It’s like always being the runner-up in the Miss America pageant, but with icing instead of a crown.

Her teacher sent home the February calendar with February 3 marked as Caroline’s birthday celebration. I told Caroline that we could go to HEB to pick out birthday cupcakes for the class even though I am still harboring some bitterness towards the HEB bakery after the whole “cake-donut” fiasco. So on Saturday we went to HEB and picked out chocolate cupcakes with hot pink icing and Tinkerbell rings on top.

Bless her heart, she wanted to get blue Spiderman cupcakes for the boys but I had to draw the line at custom cupcakes for a group of Kindergartners who have been known to lick glue off their fingers. We compromised and bought Spiderman napkins for the boys and Tinkerbell napkins for the girls.

And is it just me or is Tinkerbell looking a little racier than she used to? I think Disney is slowly transforming her into a Bratz doll with wings. You can’t fool me, Disney. I’m on to you.

At some point she got a little carried away with the HALF-birthday thing. Everything became an argument of “but it’s my HALF-birthday tomorrow!” In fact, Monday night at dinner I told her she needed to quit playing around and finish her dinner and she said, “You shouldn’t be so hard on a kid whose five AND A HALF birthday is tomorrow”.

It took everything in me to not say, “THAT’S NOT EVEN A REAL THING!” And then maybe adding “And while we’re at it, neither is the Easter Bunny.”

But that would be mean.

After all, who wants to get that kind of news on the eve of their five AND A HALF birthday?

She requested that Mimi and I come and eat lunch with her at school prior to the birthday celebration and, by the way, could I please bring McDonalds? So we walked into the school right before lunchtime bearing a Happy Meal and two dozen of the brightest cupcakes you have ever seen. (I’m not kidding. I can’t get the icing stains off my fingers even eight hours later.)

We sat on the stage in the cafeteria and she ate a few bites of cheeseburger in between waving to all her friends and getting up to throw away every small piece of trash she could find. Each time she got up, she walked slowly across the front of the stage, wearing her 5 AND A HALF birthday crown, while waving to the crowd.

So that’s how they roll in Kindergarten these days. She got to be Miss America complete with icing AND a crown.

I was born three decades too soon.
All Access

How about this little surprise in the middle of the day?

Two posts in one day? Sheer madness.

I thought I’d take this chance to remind y’all (or to tell you for the first time if you happen to be new here) about the Allaccess blog.

It’s part of the reason that I get to go to the occasional fun womens’ event because heaven knows it’s not because I’m that cool or run in any kind of happening crowd.

I feel the above sentence is proof of that.

Anyway, I post over there every Tuesday and Friday and Sophie posts over there on Mondays and Thursdays. In between there are usually some other fun things going on and even the occasional giveaway.

Just thought you might want to check it out. You can click here or on the Allaccess button in my sidebar.

Y’all have a great evening.

I’m just going to sit back, watch American Idol and contemplate my true feelings on men wearing scarves.
And there were shepherds keeping warm at night

A few weeks ago I was looking through some Christmas pictures that my sister emailed to me. There were a bunch of cute ones of Caroline and her cousin Sarah and then I saw something that left me puzzled.

My sister and I don’t talk about everything, but I couldn’t believe she didn’t mention that she and her husband played the role of shepherds in some kind of Christmas pageant.

But, oh no.

On closer inspection I realized those aren’t shepherds robes. Those are Snuggies.

I called her and asked, “What is up with the Snuggies? It’s like I don’t even know you.”

She explained that they got them for Christmas as a practical joke, but I told her that doesn’t explain why they were actually wearing them. And posing for pictures. And confessing that they’ve continued to wear them long after the joke is over.

I can’t even talk about the part where she told me how much they were enjoying the two free booklights they received with Snuggie purchase.

Some family skeletons need to stay in the closet.

Next to the stack of ShamWows.
Is it just me or is it chili?

Rumor has it that there was some big football game on yesterday. And I’m a fan of football.

College football.

Maybe it’s because I spent my childhood wearing “Luv Ya Blue!” t-shirts and #34 Earl Campbell jerseys, only to have the Houston Oilers break my daddy’s heart every season, but I just don’t care about professional sports in general.

I know. It’s like I’m not even an American.

Anyway, our church has an annual Super Bowl party complete with chili cook-off and so that’s what we did yesterday. Actually, P went early to grill various meats with his Sportsman’s Group and to deliver his entry in the chili cook-off. I showed up a little later with Caroline and a plate of brownies that didn’t have sufficient time to cool and basically looked like a plate of chocolate that someone had sat on.

Appetizing.

When I walked into church there were crockpots bearing homemade chili as far as the eye could see. And this is where I have to make another confession.

I am not a fan of the chili cook-off.

It’s not that I don’t like chili. Au contraire. I count a Frito Pie among my top five comfort foods.

The thing is that a chili cook-off is a risky proposition. You never know when you’ll encounter a chili that’s too spicy, or has too much cumin, or, heaven help us, red beans. Let’s not even discuss the fact that the cook-off component involves a lot of people dipping into the same pot of chili.

Is there such thing as a buffet phobia? Because I think I have one.

I might as well add another embarrassing fact to an increasingly long list of other embarrassing facts I’ve shared over the years. My chili palate is very sophisticated and involves a can with a Hormel label.

The canned variety makes me feel secure. I know where it’s been and I know how it will taste. And don’t tell me any horror stories about canned goods and what happens in the factories or I will be forced to stick my fingers in my ears and say “La-la-la-la, I can’t hear you”. It’s bad enough that I have to live with the knowledge that Burger King’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich (which I adored) is one of the worst possible fast food items you can eat.

Let me keep this last shred of culinary innocence.

I’m not kidding. Do not tell me your canned goods horror stories.

I have enough quirks and phobias as it stands.

And in other totally unrelated news, guess what I haven’t done in two weeks?

Painted the backhouse.

It’s primed and ready to go, but I have fallen off the paint wagon and can’t get up.

I just needed to get that out in the open, along with my fear of chili cook-offs.