Year: 2009

The real winners aren’t on the football field today

Thanks to all of you who participated in the giveaway for one of Marla Taviano’s books and a Target gift card. I loved reading through all the comments and I feel it’s safe to say that “Is That All He Thinks About?” is the clear frontrunner among the books y’all would select.

And I want to make some kind of joke, but I’m going to refrain because it would probably be inappropriate.

Anyway, here are the winners according to Random.org.

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

155 250 558
Timestamp: 2009-02-01 18:34:37 UTC

First Place is 155: Amy with a gmail email address

Second Place is 250: Amy at Life, Laughs & Love

Third Place is 558: Barbara at Almost Empty Nester

Please email me and I’ll put you in touch with Marla so that you can get your prize.

Congratulations to all the winners and don’t ever forget that you’re all winners in my book.

Now, I’m off to watch the Super Bowl.

Go Steelers or Cardinals or whatever.

Actually, I’m just cheering for the queso dip and the hot wings.
Edition 49: Fashion Friday

Last Saturday, Caroline and I went to Gap to return a pair of jeans I’d bought her earlier in the week and attempt to find a pair that actually fit. Note to Gap: If my 5 year old daughter, who is the skinniest kid I know and survives on one cheese cube a day, has a mid-section that won’t fit into a pair of 5 slim jeans, you might want to re-evaluate your sizing methods or check your denim labor force for drug use.

We carried about twenty different pairs of jeans into the dressing room because I was so thrown off that 5 slims didn’t fit and I had no idea where to go from there. 6 regular? 5 regular? 6 slim? Why is my life so hard?

This was really our first real dressing room experience because I know my emotional limits and had an inkling that letting her in on the decision-making process might put me over the edge. The surprise was that we had a great time. Honestly, I don’t know if she’s ever reminded me more of myself than when I watched her check herself out in every pair of jeans she tried on. The only thing missing was that she never asked, “Do these make my butt look big?”

True to her mama’s form, she chose the priciest pair and I was okay with it because they are a size 6 and are a little too long which means she won’t outgrow them yesterday. As we paid for them, I informed her that she might need to wear them rolled up for a little while because they are too long.

She looked right at me and said, “You know that is never going to happen.”

God bless her, she is my clone.

And, really, she’s right. Cuffed jeans aren’t really in right now, not that I don’t resort to it on occasion since all hems aren’t created equal.

Now for the questions.

1. Shawna asks: “Ok so if by some chance I get back to Texas is it ok to wear a scarf and plain shirt with flip flops and jeans….cause I love flip flops??”

It is totally okay. In fact, when Gap isn’t busy making 5 slim jeans that are too small to fit any human in existence, they’ve made some really cute lightweight scarves for spring like this one.

I think the scarf can be a year-round accessory as long as you don’t pass out from heat stroke. Because that’s never in style.

2. Nicole asks: “I am shopping for some warm boots that I can wear in the snow, and could use some suggestions. Any suggestions?”

I can honestly say that as a Texas girl I have never in my life needed snow boots, which explains why I thought it was a good idea to wear my running shoes as my after-ski footwear when I used to “ski”. Let’s just say that Nikes aren’t really snow-proof.

My point is I’m not sure exactly what a snow boot needs to be but I’ll pretend that I do and say that I really like these boots from KEEN or maybe these.

3. Emily asks: “Your thoughts on trouser socks…I have a huge complex about them. Do you match/coordinate with your shoes, pants, or shirt? Do you wear stripes, solids, patterns?”

I believe that trouser socks should be seen and not heard.

That makes complete sense in my head.

What I’m trying to say is that they should be an accessory that just kind of blends in to your outfit and doesn’t yell out “HEY LOOK! RED POLKA DOT SOCKS!”

Because if the best part of your outfit is your socks, you need to re-evaluate what you’re wearing.

4. Another Emily asks: “Super Bowl Sunday is fast approaching, and I do not have any idea what to wear! I realize the time tested answer may be “A jersey” or “team colors”. The females of the couples that we gather with from time to time are always dressed so cute and I always feel frumpy!”

My first instinct is to tell you to wear something that won’t show stains from superfluous Buffalo Wing sauce, but you’re probably looking for something more specific.

Also, I feel the need to say that I would NEVER recommend wearing a jersey unless you are planning to take to the field. I once broke up with a guy who wore an Aggie jersey to a football game. I realize this may not bother some people, but it was a deal breaker for me and I will own that shallow, superficial part of my personality.

I’d suggest a great pair of jeans (more on that later) with a casual sweater like this one or this one with a cute pair of boots and fun earrings.

Or you could go for a v-neck sweater layered over a tank with a scarf around your neck.

Y’all know I’m a fan of the scarf because no matter who wins the game on Sunday, the scarf is the real winner.

5. A LOT of people asked: “How do you find a good pair of jeans?”

Ladies, there is no easy answer. It requires work and dedication. Remember dating and trying to find the right man to marry? Yeah, that’s a cakewalk compared to finding a pair of jeans that will make you want to pledge your undying love.

You have to kiss a lot of denim frogs to find your prince.

Will someone please embroider that on a pillow for me?

Seriously, this may be a future video blog if I can figure out how to try on jeans without showing my rear end to the internet. In the meantime, you just have to commit to trying on a million different brands until you find the ones that fit your figure. I recommend starting at a nice department store like Nordstrom because their associates can help you find a pair that is best for your figure, but don’t underestimate the power of finding high-end brands at discount stores like TJ Maxx or The Rack.

Have I ever said that a good pair of jeans can change your life? Truest statement ever.

That’s it for the question portion of this edition of Fashion Friday.

However, I have an announcement to make. Every week so many of y’all send me emails about things you’ve found on sale or a great pair of jeans or a kicky beret and I don’t have an efficient way to share all that information, so I’ve decided to start putting up a Mr. Linky at the end of every Fashion Friday post starting next week. If you have a blog, feel free to write about your latest fashion find and you can add the link to that specific post here.

I figure we’ll give it a whirl for a few weeks and see if we all benefit from more extensive fashion knowledge than whatever paltry offering I serve up.

Y’all have a great Friday.
A giveaway because I believe that reading is good

Yesterday afternoon Caroline and I went over to hang out with Gulley and her boys. When we got there I walked into her house and noticed immediately that her kitchen was a mess and I was all like, “WHAT UP with the kitchen?”

She explained that she had spent the entire morning and half of the afternoon preparing food to take to one of her husband’s co-workers who just had a baby. And let me tell y’all something, when Gulley brings a meal she doesn’t just show up with some sad-looking tater tot casserole. She goes ALL OUT. I’m talking creamy pork tenderloin, fresh green beans, homemade cinnamon cake AND pigs in a blanket for BREAKFAST the next day.

I would seriously consider having another child just for Gulley’s food.

Anyway, we sat and visited while she cleaned up the kitchen. I asked how the new mama was doing and Gulley said, “She’s just in that raw state of new motherhood”. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what she meant by that. Nothing prepares you for how much you’re going to love that little person, how worried you’re going to be that you’ll do something wrong, and how little sleep you can live on for endless weeks.

It’s RAW.

I remember many a night where I rocked Caroline endlessly while bargaining with God to just please make her go to sleep and please don’t let her have an explosion in her diaper the minute she finally drifts off. There was one especially bad day in those early weeks when my friend Jamie called me and I think I burst into tears. She said, “I know it’s hard to believe right now, but there will come a day when you will be able to go to put her to bed at 8:00 and she will sleep until the next morning.”

I’m still waiting for that day.

Oh, it’s a joke. Kind of.

But that simple statement was like a life preserver at that moment. I just needed to hear something from someone who had been there and lived to tell about it. I needed someone to tell me what Gulley told that new mama yesterday, which was, “You can’t screw them up at this stage. Just love them to pieces and they’ll be fine.”

Anyway, the point is that as we go through different stages of life, it helps to hear encouragement and practical advice. Sometimes you just need to know that what you’re feeling is normal and no one is about to cart you off in a white jacket. (Insert “Saturday Night Fever” joke here.)

Last summer at the She Speaks Conference, I got to (briefly!) meet Marla Taviano. She is a witty, practical, eloquent wife and mother of three girls who has taken the time to share what she has learned about marriage, sex, impending motherhood, and being a mama in four incredible books.

Her most recent book is called “Expecting” and it’s a beautiful devotional book that guides you through 40 weeks of praying for your baby as he/she/they develop.

You can go read more about her books and even some sample chapters by visiting her blog and looking on the right sidebar where it says “Books by Marla”.

And here’s the best part. Marla has agreed to let three lucky winners pick their choice of one of her books plus some gift card action to Target. Mossimo goods and a new book. Who can say they aren’t interested in winning that?

So here’s what you need to do.

1. Go visit Marla’s blog and check out all her books.

2. Come back here and leave a comment letting me know which one you’d like to have and maybe if you thought about leaving your husband with your newborn baby and finding the nearest hotel to get a good night’s sleep.

3. I will pick the three winners using Random.org on Sunday, February 1st.

1st place: Choice of one book and a $25.00 Target gift card
2nd place: Choice of one book and a $10.00 Target gift card
3rd place: Choice of one book

4. If you can’t wait or even if you don’t win, you can purchase Marla’s first three books for the stunningly low price of $20.00 on her site.

Y’all have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow with a brand-new Fashion Friday unless some unforeseen circumstances arise.

How’s that for hedging my bets?
Back in the days of the cigar-smoking grandpas

When I was at my Nanny’s house last summer, I found this old picture in one of her many photo albums. She has a million albums filled with all kinds of pictures of my childhood, but this one is such a piece of life as I remember it back then.

My Papa is the cigar-smoking barbecue chef in the picture. I can’t remember if that was a gas grill or not, but clearly safety and proper hygienic food preparations weren’t on the top of the priority list.

In the background is my Big Bob wearing his trademark gold jumpsuit with a pipe in his mouth, and sitting on the table is my great Uncle Bo who was the skinniest person I have ever met. He was also a Cajun who married into our Italian family and made the best gumbo in the world.

All three of them are gone now. They’ve been gone for a long time.

It’s funny how you can miss something that you didn’t even pay much attention to in the moment it existed. The three of them were just always there, presiding over the barbecue pit while the women stayed in the house and gossiped.

I don’t know when Papa built that little barbecue Taj Mahal, but I can’t remember a time that it wasn’t in his backyard. Every now and then he would update it with some new Astroturf on the floor or bring in an additional table, but it remained virtually the same until the day he passed away.

I’m not sure what he was cooking that day, but if I had to guess I would say links of sausage and burgers that were always well done. We ate so much spaghetti at Mema and Papa’s house that it always seemed exotic to have something different.

I loved those Saturday afternoons when the men would gather around the barbecue stand. The backyard was huge and my cousins and I would play baseball with my daddy and my uncles until the food was ready and Mema called us all to come in the house.

We’d gather in their huge kitchen, all sweaty and starving, and fix huge plates of food. It was always so loud that you couldn’t hear yourself think. A football game would blare out from the television and everyone would holler back and forth from the kitchen to the living room with a joke or making fun of how much someone put on their plates. I can’t think of a time I didn’t see my Uncle Carroll look at someone’s plate and say “DERN, that is impressive.”

It’s an expression we still use today because it is perfection.

After lunch everyone would find a place on one of Mema’s vinyl couches or on the floor to stretch out and watch football. I remember climbing all over my twin uncles as they lay on the floor because I was hoping to annoy them enough to go back outside and play more baseball. Eventually they would cave and we’d all head back outside until it was time for everyone to go home.

Last summer when I was in Beaumont, I drove to the other side of town to see Mema and Papa’s old house. Time hasn’t been kind to their neighborhood, but the house still looked just as I remember it.

I drove by slowly to take in the huge backyard that is the site of so many childhood memories and pulled into the driveway next to the side door where everyone entered their house. The memories haven’t dulled with time and I could almost see my Mema standing in the driveway blowing kisses and directing traffic as I pulled back out onto the main road.

As I drove away, I felt an ache like homesickness down in my stomach. A longing for a place that only exists in bits and pieces of my memory. A place and time that is gone forever.

But I will be forever grateful for that time, that place, those people. They shaped who I am. They taught me the value of spending time with family, laughter, football, and taking the time to grill some sausage while smoking a cigar.

And, ultimately, those are the things you remember. Even thirty years later.
Mile-high nonsense

How many blog entries have I started with “I’m up in the air right now”? By my mental calculation I believe the answer is A LOT.

The funny thing is that I don’t really like flying. It’s not so much the whole “you could come crashing down from 40,000 feet in the air” part as much as the “I don’t like being confined to small spaces next to strangers with possible cold and flu symptoms” situation.

And, really, the whole experience used to be a lot more pleasant but now that they want to charge me $2.00 for a Diet Coke, the bloom is off the travel rose. I mean, seriously, did the hundreds of dollars spent on the ticket not cover that Diet Coke?

Anyway, I’m up in the air on my way home from Travis’s CD recording. It was such an incredible night of worship and I get a little giddy thinking about his version of “Victory In Jesus”. I was able to all-too-briefly say hi to some sweet blog friends and I’m so sad we didn’t have enough time to all sit around and talk about life live and in person.

Perfect. The pilot just announced that there will be a little bit of turbulence and I swear if it causes me to spill part of my $2.00 Diet Coke, I’m asking for a refund.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that I was reprimanded by the flight attendant. I’m sitting in an emergency exit row and she was trying to begin her lecture on opening the emergency hatch. Meanwhile, I was completely caught up in my issue of People Style Watch featuring what’s hot and what’s not for 2009 and didn’t even know she was speaking. I am a mother; I can tune out distractions like it’s an Olympic sport.

All of a sudden it dawned on me that someone was repeatedly saying “Lady in the pink scarf in seat 16A. LADY IN THE PINK SCARF!” Sure enough, I was the lady in the pink scarf who holds the safety of all the passengers in what are most certainly my less-than-capable, People-magazine-holding hands.

So then I had to pull out the laminated card in the seat pocket in front of me and actually pretend I was paying attention, which I wasn’t because let’s not even pretend I’d remember what to do in case of emergency other than completely panic.

In other unrelated airline news, I know I said I had a video that I was going to post. However, due to a vast amount of technical issues, I’m not entirely sure the video even exists at this point. I apologize, but rest assured in the knowledge that all you’re missing is another very low-budget Big Mama video production.

In closing, I am well aware that this is the most random post and has no coherent train of thought other than my outrage at paying $2.00 for a can of Diet Coke, but I am flat exhausted. It’s been fun to travel and see friends and what not, but I need a day or nine to recover. I plan to do a lot of sitting on my couch in flannel pajamas while eating homemade soup and catching up on all the fabulous T.V. that’s waiting for me with open arms on my DVR.

Because that’s just how ambitious I am.
165 minutes is too long

So I have this video I wanted to upload from backstage at the Travis Cottrell CD taping (Is taping even the right word? What do the kids in the industry say these days?).

Anyway, as we all know, videos never seem to go smoothly for me and I have encountered a glitch. But, GOOD NEWS, this time it’s not my fault and I can totally blame Vimeo.

Apparently it will be 165 minutes until my video is ready and I’m not waiting that long because it’s actually still Sunday night as I write this and I must go to bed because I am exhausted from all the fun.

I’ll post the video later today but in the meantime let me say that the recording (taping? live session? laying down tracks?) was so much fun and the entire praise team did such a great job. It’s going to be the best worship CD ever. Seriously.

In other news, I went to eat lunch yesterday with Sophie and Boodaddy. We went to a Mexican restaurant that appeared to be good because it was called “Restaurant Mexicano” and everyone knows that “O” on the end of Mexican signals authenticity. Sophie was smart and ordered nachos, which are always a safe choice.

I ordered Huevos Rancheros. Bad call on my part because I’m not sure the following picture features huevos or rancheros. If you have a weak stomach, I beg you not to look at this picture yet I am compelled to post it.

I believe those are the lesser cousin of Huevos Rancheros known as Huevos Feos, which translates to “Ugly Eggs” for those of you who don’t possess my extensive Spanish vocabulary of four to five words. It will be a long time before I can eat eggs again.

And for the record, I didn’t actually eat those. I just tore my napkin in half and covered them up so I didn’t have to look at them.

It’s too bad I can’t use that same napkin to erase the image from my brain where it is now burned for eternity.