Year: 2010

I also have an fifteen cough drop a day habit

I think it was Thursday afternoon when my non-specific seasonal malady began to include a cough. And, true to form, by Friday morning I sounded like an octogenarian named Hazel who’s had a three pack a day habit for the last sixty years.

I’ll tell you about Hazel. She’s from the old school and doesn’t cotton to newfangled treatments like multi-symptom cold medicines. Hazel likes to sit on her front porch and throw bricks at cars that drive by too fast. Hazel doesn’t think there’s a problem with America that can’t be fixed by taking your youngsters out to the woodshed to learn ’em some manners and human decency. Hazel thinks this whole world has been on the fast track to hell since the Roosevelt administration. Hazel sits around and pops Luden’s cherry cough drops like they’re candy.

(On a sidenote, I was typing in a few things from the weekend into the Note section on my phone because, yes, sometimes I actually have specific thoughts I want to share. And I typed in “Hazel” and began to type “Luden’s cherry cough drops” and it auto-checked it and changed it to “Ludendorff”. So it looked like I was planning to write about a woman named Hazel Ludendorff.)

(And so I am.)

Hazel Ludendorff is my new persona whenever I’m feeling under the weather. Because Hazel is a tough old bird and she can withstand anything even though she’s not one to miss an opportunity to enjoy her ill health. Hazel likes nothing more than to guilt a neighbor into delivering some homemade chicken noodle soup.

Anyway, in spite of Hazel’s attempts to hack up a lung, it was a good weekend around here.

On Friday night, we had some friends over for a little party for P’s birthday. I made a big batch of crawfish etouffee’ and a chocolate sheet cake at the birthday boy’s request. Although, let’s be honest, he’s more of a birthday man than a birthday boy at this point.

Then on Saturday, the Cheetah Girls had a big game against the Wildcats. And I’m happy to report they played the game of their lives. They were running and paying attention and kicking the ball ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It was a great game.

I left the soccer fields feeling joyously optimistic, which is so unlike Hazel, and convinced that the Aggies were going to soundly defeat the Arkansas Razorbacks. I believed. I BELIEVED. And then I spent the next four hours watching my hopes and dreams get smashed to bits by an offense that didn’t seem to realize the object of the game is to get the ball in the endzone.

As soon as the game was over, Caroline and I headed down to the ranch to meet up with P and spend the night. It was a quick trip, but I was glad we did it, if for no other reason than the sunset on the way down there was incredible. Just that perfect shade of orange and deep purplish-blue with a little sliver of a moon coming up.

And then we drove back home on Sunday afternoon. I crawled into bed and slept for about four hours while P ran interference to make sure Caroline didn’t wake me up to ask me what color I thought God should have made the sky if it wasn’t already blue. I was hoping to leave Hazel Ludendorff behind by the time I woke up. But no such luck.

Hazel is still with me. Which means I’ll most likely be spending Columbus Day the way Columbus and his crew wish they could have spent it back in 1492. At a med clinic being treated for scurvy.

Except I don’t think I have scurvy.

But I might have a touch of the bronchitis. Or maybe it’s just Hazel’s rheumatism acting up again.
Fashion Friday: Edition all about the leggings

If you are not a fan of the leggings, then today’s post is probably not for you. But if you have been known to enjoy a legging or if you’ve been on the fence about leggings, you may want to stick around for a few minutes while I share a few key leggings secrets.

I know.

You’re on the edge of your seat.

The legging is a tricky proposition. And, honestly, it’s not for everyone. It’s all about finding the right proportions for your body type and the only real way to do that is to head to the mall and try some things on. And then bring them home and see if you still like the look after you put it together with things you already have in your closet.

But please pay for your items before you bring them home. Crime doesn’t pay.

Several people have emailed me and said they were having a hard time finding the right tunic or what have you to pair with leggings. So today I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Quit looking at shirts and tops and head to the dress section.

One of the best tunics I’ve ever owned was supposed to be a dress at Forever 21. But since I am not Forever 21, it works much better when I pair it with skinny jeans or leggings.

Anyway, most of the items I’m featuring today are all dresses. I don’t know in what world women get away with dresses this short, but I’m just glad I don’t live in it. Oh the pressure.

But it does make me think about last week when Caroline walked into my closet while I was putting on my Spanx and said, “Oh Mama! You wear bloomers under your dresses just like I do!”

Yes, bloomers that cut off Mama’s circulation if she wears them too long.

The point is to try on different things until you find something that works. Or you may decide that nothing works. And there’s no shame in that.

1. Safe from the Cold sweater dress

I think a sweater dress paired with tights or legging and boots is so cute.

2. Tuxedo Shirt dress

If I could only buy one thing on this list, this shirt would be it.

3. Rustling Leaves tunic sweater dress

I like this one because it doesn’t cling to the body. It has a little bit of an a-line thing going on which might be more flattering.

4. Lovers knot dress

I love this kind of thing paired with leggings with a denim jacket thrown on top.

5. Oak cashmere blair button dress

I would probably wear this with tights instead of leggings but, either way, it’s adorable.

6. Three quarter sleeve tee

I bought this shirt in black about a week ago. It was on sale for $9.99 and is the perfect length to wear with leggings. It will look great with a shorter jacket thrown on top of it when the weather cools off.

7. Have a nice gray tunic

I think this is a great casual look. You could even throw a scarf on with it for a little extra flair.

8. Getting in touch with nature dress

I love this one for the a-line shape. You could also layer a skinny long-sleeve t-shirt under it and pair it with leggings or skinny jeans.

9. Ends in sequins dress

I adore this. It’s another piece that would be great with a skinny long-sleeve t-shirt under it with some brown leggings and cowboy boots.

10. Shades of gray tunic dress

I would never wear this alone with leggings. It appears to be way too fitted. However, I do think it would look cute as a layering piece with skinny jeans and perhaps even leggings if you can pull it off.

11. The more sweater the better cardigan

When the weather gets colder, I think something like this cardigan could look really cute with leggings and boots.

12. Shape your future coat

And I also love a good coat paired with leggings. One of my favorite outfits last winter was a plaid coat that hit about mid-thigh with leggings and tall boots.

13. Flourishing mums dress

This is something that would work for a dressier look.

I’d wear it over black leggings, belt it with a great black belt and wear it with a dressy little bootie.

14. Blanket sweaters with layers

I love the way Piperlime has styled their models with blanket sweaters and tunics over leggings. The individual pieces are expensive, but it’s a look that could easily be replicated with less expensive pieces.

And that’s it for today.

Y’all have a great Friday.

I’ll be busy stocking up on cream cheese. Apparently it’s the ingredient of choice for appetizers.
A list or some things or whatever

Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes for P yesterday. Y’all are the best.

And, most of all, he got what I know he always dreamed of for his fortieth birthday. A wife who doesn’t feel well who stayed in her pajamas all day while occasionally hacking up a lung.

Oh yes. It’s all romance, all the time around here.

Here are just a few quick things before I take a hit of some cough medicine and sign off the internet:

1. Several of you emailed me about the obnoxiously loud Sun Chips bags being taken off the market. I’d seen the news when it first broke on Tuesday and rejoiced loudly. Not as loud as those bags, but loud enough.

I’ll recycle all the live long day but, dadgummit, I want to eat my chips in peace and quiet the way God and Mr. Frito originally intended.

2. While I was in Houston this past weekend, I saw these white pitchers in all different sizes and shapes at Marshalls. They were priced between $4.99 and $9.99 and would have been perfect to place on top of my kitchen cabinets. But, oh no, I decided it was too much trouble to have to buy those pitchers and lug them all the way back home to San Antonio.

I could kick myself.

I planned to see if they had them at a Marshalls here in town, but insert unknown illness that has made me feel lethargic and achy for three days.

3. There is an all new chance to win a $100 gift card through my latest Kellogg’s giveaway. Just click here to enter.

4. Does anyone have any good (and simple) appetizer recipes they’d like to share? I’m in need of a few new food items to add to my Saturday afternoon football watching rotation.

5. I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday. I’ll discuss what to wear with leggings among other fascinating topics.
Forty

Today is a big day at our house. It’s P’s 40th birthday. I am married to a forty-year-old man. Which means I must be getting old.

But I can’t think of a better way to grow old than with someone who makes me laugh every single day. It’s part of why I love you, P. Along with these forty other reasons:

1. The way you never really panic about anything. In fifteen years, I’ve never seen you panic.

2. The way you talk me off the ledge when I work myself up into near hysteria.

3. Your ability to recall movie lines from a movie you saw one time back in 1983.

4. Specifically, The Warriors. Which I’d never even heard of until you referenced it about four years ago.

5. The way you get so excited about hunting season EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

6. That you have all your camo clothing arranged by pattern in the guest bedroom closet.

7. The fact that you don’t mind keeping your camo clothing in the guest bedroom closet because it usually smells like dirt and would make our shared closet smell like dirt and you realize I don’t want to smell like dirt.

8. Your ability to just sum up a situation in two words. For example, “COMPLETE NONSENSE”.

9. The way you never hesitate to be completely honest about anything.

10. That you know me well enough to ask me how honest I want you to be when I ask a question like, “Do you like this dress?” or “Do these jeans look okay on me?”

11. You never question my sanity. Even when I paint the kitchen twice in six months. Oh, you’ll mock me for it. But you don’t question my mental capacity.

12. The way you occasionally get sucked into something I’m watching on T.V. and start to ask about the characters or plot before you remember that you have absolutely no interest in Rachel Zoe or how she styled Demi Moore for a photo shoot.

13. Your constant safety lectures. How else would I know I should NEVER, EVER stand on the very top of a ladder that’s not securely on the ground?

14. Or that it should be my natural impulse to immediately lock my car doors THE VERY MINUTE I get in my car?

15. The way you can get on the phone with your friends and discuss all manner of weaponry and ammo with the same passion and intensity that I talk to my friends about The Bachelor or Real Housewives.

16. You know how to fix just about anything. And if you don’t know how to fix it, you will find out. Or make something up.

17. That you actually believe I’ll allow you to hang a third deer mount in our living room.

18. The way you clean out the backhouse at least once a month and always find new ways to organize everything.

19. That you tell me we’re out of everything and then give me a grocery list that contains two items. Usually York Peppermint Patties and Nilla Wafers.

20. How you sometimes add things to the grocery list just to make me laugh. For example, “toilet paper not made of sandpaper”.

21. The way you love the Doodle.

22. And how you never get tired of answering all her questions even when I am way past done.

23. Seeing the two of you dressed up in your camo, loading up your guns and heading to the ranch for an adventure. Oh, she does love her daddy.

24. The sweet mullet you had in high school.

25. That you weighed all of 155 pounds when we first met. And that when you got sick after we’d been married for three months you went to the doctor where they weighed you and you discovered you weighed 185 pounds. You told them their scale must be broken.

26. That you rode the city bus to a Tea Party gathering about a year ago. And packed heat.

27. The way you believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself.

28. How you know when I’m being too hard on myself and when I’m not being hard enough.

29. That you make me want to live up to the person you see in me.

30. You never question me when I tell you something only cost $15.00.

31. Although you do laugh at me.

32. That you carry a weapon at all times when you’re down at the ranch. Even when you’re playing pool.

33. The way I never feel safer than when I’m with you. You are a man that can handle some things.

34. You aren’t too proud to say when you’re wrong.

35. Or to let me know when I am.

36. That you’re man enough to help Caroline dress her Barbie dolls or let her give you a makeover or to always compliment her on a new outfit and tell her how pretty she looks.

37. The heart you have for God. And how I know that you’re always in prayer over anything that involves our little band of three.

38. The way you provide for us even though it means working long, hot days in the South Texas sun.

39. The fact that you told me last night at dinner that you’ve lost six pounds since Friday. Actually, I don’t know if I love you for that as much as I envy you for it. And am slightly bitter about it.

40. Your hair that’s almost entirely gray. Because I’ve always had a thing for a silver fox.

You are everything I ever wanted and so many other things I never knew I needed.

Caroline and I love you so much.

Happy Birthday! from Big Mama on Vimeo.
Nothing to see here

I so appreciate that y’all would like to see a picture of my new bangs. However, that is not possible at this juncture because I haven’t had on makeup in twenty-four hours and, even though I’m all about keeping it real, I’m not really sure any of us need that much reality.

But I promise that the next time my hair is freshly styled and I don’t look like a slightly worse version of death warmed over, I will post a picture of myself with the new bangs.

In other news, I think I contracted some type of flu-type illness while I was in Houston this past weekend. But I hesitated to write about it because I told P that I was just going to put a quick post that said I wasn’t feeling well and he said I’ve written way too much recently about having PMS and not feeling well.

So now, not only do I feel achy and tired, I am also extremely paranoid that many of you may think I’m a hypochondriac. Or worse, a complainer.

Truthfully, I may be both of those things depending on the day.

But I’m legitimately not feeling well and spent most of yesterday in bed. Which means I have nothing interesting to write about and can’t even make something up. I know this because I’ve been desperately trying to think of anything for the last hour.

I have nothing.

Unless you want to hear about how many Advil I’ve taken in the last twenty-four hours. And I’m going to assume that’s a no.

So why don’t you tell me something interesting in the comments, like maybe the name of a blog you love to read or whether you think Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles is the best movie from the 80’s or maybe there’s a question you’d like me to answer one of these days. Whatever. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
I dedicate this post to Eye of the Tiger

On Friday morning I packed up Caroline, my bangs and myself and drove to Houston for the weekend. Yes, I have bangs.

Again.

I blame Reese Witherspoon and her perfect bangs that aren’t hindered by a cowlick and an overall spirit of stubbornness.

And I count the bangs as their own entity for the weekend because I am constantly aware of them right now. Where are my bangs? What are they doing? Have they rebelled and gone two separate directions while I wasn’t paying attention?

It’s not that I don’t like them. In fact, I’ve been plotting to get bangs all summer long. I was just waiting for the humidity to drop somewhere below 152%. I think I just need them to grow out a tad bit longer which is my fault because my sweet hairstylist cut them perfectly the first time and I said I thought they needed to be a little shorter.

I bet Reese keeps her mouth shut when she’s getting her hair cut. I bet she doesn’t offer her own amateur opinions to a professional.

So, not only does she have better bangs than me, she’s also smarter than me.

But enough about Reese.

The trip to Houston has been on my calendar since sometime around last February. Several of Sophie’s college girlfriends wanted to get together to celebrate her birthday and decided to have the festivities in Houston where one of them lives. And they invited me to join them for all the big fun.

I’m so glad they did. Not only did I get to spend the weekend celebrating Sophie’s birthday with her, but I got to hang out with seven other sweet girls that made me laugh until I cried as they told stories from their college days. And you know what I have to show for it?

A picture of the cupcakes I bought on Saturday afternoon from Crave Cupcakes. I think the banana one may have changed my life. And I’m not even normally a huge fan of the banana flavored baked goods, but I took a risk. A risk that totally paid off.

Sometime last week I saw something on T.V. that showed how your heart beats after you eat a meal that’s high in fat and I’m so sorry I saw it. Because it’s a wonder my heart didn’t just up and stop after everything I ate this weekend. But there are probably worse ways to go than sitting around sharing massive amounts of the beef fajitas from Lupe Tortilla while singing Total Eclipse of the Heart with eight other girls.

The whole weekend was so much fun. There were pedicures and cheeseburgers and college football games and shopping. Oh the shopping. We debated the merits of various booties and the practicality of the open-toed bootie. And Sophie’s friend, EK, found a dress at Marshall’s that I’m still thinking about. The only thing that soothed my disappointment over the lack of additional dresses was the fact that I bought a really cute shirt at Nordstrom Rack for $4.00. FOUR DOLLARS.

In the meantime, I’d dropped Caroline off at a hotel where she spent the weekend with Mimi and Bops. She told me she “wasn’t sure how she was going to make it until Sunday” without seeing me, but I think she felt better after she bungee-jumped at The Galleria for about her fourth time. Bless her heart, it makes me so sad to think of how she had to endure being spoiled rotten all weekend long.

And so on Sunday morning, I said goodbye to my new friends and went to meet Mimi, Bops and Caroline for breakfast. You’ll be glad to know she survived the weekend and found comfort for her soul by jumping back and forth between the beds in their hotel room.

We headed back to San Antonio and I was so tired that the only thing that kept me going was a steady rotation of 80’s Hits on Pandora. I owe Eye of The Tiger a debt of gratitude for giving me a little pick me up sometime around Seguin when I hit the wall and felt like I couldn’t go on anymore.

Now I plan to sleep for about four days. And dream about banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

And to my dear friend, Sophie. I’m so glad I was able to spend your birthday with you and some of your oldest friends. Thanks so much for including me in all the fun.

Even though it sounded like we found each other through EHarmony every time we told the story of how we met.