Year: 2010

  • A lot of words to say a lot of nothing

    There are two important things going on here right now. The first is that Tropical Storm Hermine is allegedly heading this way. And the second is that I left my hair up in a high ponytail for too long and now the whole left side of my head hurts.

    Of course the whole high ponytail thing is pretty much irrelevant unless you happen to be me, so I’ll talk about Hermine. (Not to be confused with the youngest Mandrell sister, Irlene.) She used to just be Tropical Storm #10, but got upgraded with a truly unfortunate name sometime late yesterday afternoon and the weathermen are all abuzz about the fact that we might get anywhere between zero and eleven hundred inches of rain over the next forty-eight hours. All I know is that I made a special trip to HEB yesterday to stock up on the essentials (Pretzel M&Ms! York Peppermint Patties! Fritos! Hormel Chili! InStyle Magazine!) and am planning my entire day around being socked in by the rain. If it doesn’t happen I am going to be terribly bitter and forced to say disparaging things about our local meteorologists.

    But for now I’ll focus on brighter, happier things than a possible tropical storm, namely our Labor Day weekend. Never has so little been accomplished or proved to be not even remotely interesting in a three day time span.

    On Friday night we met Mimi and Bops for Mexican food.

    And then we went home and went to bed.

    Saturday proved to be a little more eventful. P and Caroline headed down to the ranch to do whatever it is they do down there and I stayed at home. I’d like to say that I was out of my pajamas sometime before 2:00 p.m. but it would be a lie. I blame College Gameday. And, also, I may have gotten sucked into several episodes of 90210, but it’s hardly my fault considering they were the episodes where Dr. Martin dies and Gina reconciles with the family and Dylan finds out that his dad isn’t really dead but in the witness protection program and David and Donna realize they still love each other. If that’s not compelling television, then I don’t know what is.

    Ultimately I decided I needed to do something productive to make myself feel better. So I ran a dust cloth over the coffee table and a few other prominent pieces of furniture and then went to Gap to return a shirt that I’d bought for P a few weeks ago and he’d deemed unacceptable.

    I’ve decided one of my goals for the next few months is to update P’s personal style, but it’s proving to be harder than I thought. Mainly because P isn’t one to quit on a look just because he’s been wearing it for the last twenty years and also because all the clothing manufacturers have begun making their dress shirts with a cut designed to fit twelve-year-old boys or men who don’t eat a box of Nilla Wafers in one sitting.

    Oh, and I went by Sherwin Williams to look at paint chips because I’ve officially decided that I don’t like my turquoise kitchen and emailed Holly to ask for her advice. To her credit she didn’t email me back with a big I TOLD YOU SO even though she did tell me so when I asked for her thoughts on painting it turquoise back in May. And she was right. The turquoise is pretty but it doesn’t go with the rest of my house. She suggested that I paint it dark brown and I’m currently obsessed with that idea and will not rest until the kitchen is repainted.

    (Actually, that’s not true. I won’t have time to paint the kitchen for at least a week. Clearly I’ll need to rest between now and then. I’m just using a little thing called literary license. Or whatever.)

    Unfortunately the Aggies weren’t on T.V. so I had to console myself by watching other televised games and constantly hitting refresh on Fox Sports to get the latest score.

    Anyway, Sunday morning we went to church and then Caroline and I decided to go shopping out at La Cantera. The night before we’d looked at clothes on different websites because she claims “my taste has changed, Mama”. Apparently that’s true because I pointed out an adorable sweater dress and she laughed as she said, “PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE KIDDING”. Which made me look back fondly on the first two years of her life when she let me dress her in whatever I wanted and didn’t have an opinion.

    So we made our way to the mall and had the best time shopping together. I let her pick out the things she wanted to try on and make the final decisions according to my budget and what she actually needed. She was a little bit upset that I nixed the faux leopard print fur vest, but who wouldn’t be? I just wasn’t sure it seemed like a necessity for second grade.

    And we went to a delightful store called Naartjie that has won me over body and soul. Oh my word at all the cuteness. Best of all, she actually liked some of it even though there wasn’t a sequin or piece of faux fur to be found.

    We came home and watched The Sound of Music together while P cooked burgers on the grill. Then yesterday morning we stayed in bed until almost 10:30 and watched it all over again.

    So, assuming you didn’t have the strength to read through all that (Who can blame you?) and just skipped to the bottom. Here’s a brief summary.

    On the plus side:

    Mexican food
    College football
    90210
    Dreams of a brown kitchen
    Aggies win
    Shopping
    The Von Trapp family
    Grilled burgers
    Possible torrential rain from a tropical storm not named after the youngest Mandrell sister

    On the negative side:

    Left side of my head hurts from ill-conceived high ponytail

    How was your weekend?

  • Fashion Friday: Edition continuing with fall trends

    I can’t believe that I totally missed that yesterday was 9-02-10 days. Get it? It was September 2, 2010. Which translates to 9-02-10. Which translates to West Beverly High and the show that I watched long after it was age appropriate for me to be so invested in the lives of Kelly, Brandon, Brenda, Donna and Dylan.

    But I’ve never been good with numbers, so I didn’t even realize it was 9-02-10 until I began to see people posting it on Twitter and Facebook and whatever. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was googling “Donna Martin Graduates” and “David Silver sings ‘You are so precious to me'” and “Brenda Walsh’s prom dress”. Because, y’all, if there was ever a dress I coveted besides Princess Di’s wedding dress, it was the dress Brenda Walsh wore to prom.

    I am so ashamed.

    Ultimately I came upon this picture.

    And this one.

    Oh sure. We can laugh and mock. But we aren’t that far away from seeing all those things come back around the fashion bend.

    Except for maybe that shirt David Silver has on. Please don’t let that ever come back around.

    On a totally different note, several of you asked if I really bought a pair of camo leggings. Yes. Yes I did. I’m still not entirely sure what came over me but they were $12.99 and I felt like they held some possibilities. Chiefly, the possibility that I’ll put them on and P will ask, “What in the hell do you have on your legs?”

    But also the possibility that they might look cute with the new oversized white boyfriend shirt I bought and my tall brown boots.

    It’s a risk I’m willing to take for $12.99. Worst case scenario, I just bought myself some camo loungewear.

    Now for some more fall trends:

    1. Jewel tones

    Rich colors are definitely in for fall. When Gulley and I were shopping last week I felt like we saw teal and purple everywhere we went. Mainly because anytime I see teal and purple I cringe a little bit because there was a time that I owned a pair of teal flats. Teal was a very important color for me back in the late 80’s.

    Which is why I’m not sure I can go back to that place again. However, I do love the rich color of this magenta tunic dress although I’d never wear it as a dress.

    I also love this wrap tunic and twist waist sheath dress.

    And, oh how I love this From the Poles jacket from Anthropologie. The built in ruffle detail has stolen my heart.

    I also have a big crush on this washed velvet coat. How great would that be with jeans or black pants with boots?

    And if you don’t carry the scars of teal around with you, there is this washed cord skirt in teal.

    The good news for me is that it comes in other colors.

    2. Leather

    Leather is everywhere right now. Of course the majority of what I can afford isn’t actually real leather, but rather faux leather that smells reminiscent of my grandmother’s collection of GENUINE LEATHER handbags that she kept stored in the top of her closet.

    The big style for leather right now is the motorcycle jacket. One of my college roommates, Meredith, had the best black leather motorcycle jacket. I cannot tell you how I coveted that jacket and she was kind enough to let me borrow it on occasion. One of those occasions was the day I decided to go break up with a guy I’d been dating for a few months. It had been a tumultuous relationship and I felt it needed to go out with me clad in leather and slamming his front door as I left.

    I was a treasure at twenty-one years old.

    Anyway, I really like this Manderson leather jacket.

    But there are many other options, such as this Hydraulic faux leather motorcycle jacket. Or this faux leather ruffle jacket.

    If you’re really feeling edgy, there are even faux leather skinny jeans. All I can think about when I look at those is that episode of Friends when Ross wore those leather pants and went to the bathroom to splash his legs with water to cool off and couldn’t get his pants back up.

    Needless to say, I’m going to pass on the leather pants.

    3. Feminine shapes

    On a totally different note, there is a return to clothes that have a feminine shape. Things that actually show your waist as my grandmother would say. “Why don’t you show your waist? You have such a cute figure.”

    I’m such a fool for coats and I particularly love this fresh coat in print

    There is also the Anything but ordinary dress.

    And I’m so sad that this All vest up with someplace to go vest is sold out, but it looks like they may get more in at some point. I can just see this with jeans and boots. Of course I can see everything with jeans and boots.

    If you’re looking for a pretty feminine blouse, you might want to find something like this blouse from Anthropologie. So pretty. Although I struggle with the word “blouse”.

    4. Animal prints

    I went to breakfast the other day with Steph and Gulley and we got into a conversation about how animal prints shouldn’t necessarily be listed as a trend because they have really become a timeless classic. We also talked about the fluctuations in the stock market and our thoughts on the global economy, but those conversations aren’t relevant to this post.

    We all agreed that we can’t remember a fashion season in the last several years that didn’t feature some sort of animal print. It’s become as ubiquitous as khaki or denim or black.

    And, yes, I just used the word ubiquitous. I didn’t even have to look it up on spell check. I’m going to tell Caroline about this the next time she’s studying for a spelling test and wants to argue with me about the correct spelling of “sandwich”.

    I believe the use of animal prints in a wardrobe is a personal decision. You can go big with something like this Glendale top.

    Or you can just have one outstanding piece like this Street Car Darya bag by Kate Spade. Even though that particular bag costs the equivalent of fifteen years of my wardrobe combined. But I included it anyway because IT’S DIVINE.

    There are always these cute leopard clogs or a pair funky leopard flats.

    Best of all, you can always find the budget version. Like these Merona leopard ballet flats or these leopard rain boots.

    That’s it for today.

    And, in the words of David Silver, you are so precious to me.

    Or in the words of Dylan McKay, “I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anybody. Maybe that was the problem.”

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • So much more than you wanted to know

    My original plan was to try the new smoothie recipe for breakfast yesterday morning, but then I remembered that it was Wednesday morning which meant it was one of my running days. That’s right. I said running days.

    As part of my commitment to a healthier, sweatier me in 2011, I started the Couch to 5K training program last week. I’d been contemplating it for several weeks because I knew I needed to come up with a workout alternative to the 30 Day Shred since I was on the verge of unplugging the DVR and throwing it through the T.V. screen if I had to listen to Jillian taunt me one more time about the fact I’ll never have abs that look like green sports bra girl.

    And, secretly, there’s always been a part of me that would like to be a runner. The only thing that’s held me back all these years is the whole part that involves the running, but I’ve always been a huge fan of the clothing and accessories and the way legitimate runners say cool things like, “I ran a nine minute mile in my last 10K” or “I’m thinking about doing the half next year”. Because clearly they don’t even need to specify they mean a half marathon. It’s implied by the Nike sensor on their running shoes and the JUST DO IT emblazoned across their t-shirt.

    So when I began to hear people talk about the Couch to 5K program, I was intrigued. Mainly because I have the couch part DOWN FLAT. I looked it up on the internet and decided it sounded within the realm of my possibilities. The only concern I had was how I was going to be able to run, possibly throw up from the exercise and keep track of my one minute of running alternated with the two minutes of walking for thirty minutes. It seemed like I might need some special kind of Ironman watch and timers and this is why I’ve never been a runner. Besides all the running.

    Then I realized there certainly had to be a Couch to 5K app on my phone and so I searched for it and THERE IT WAS because Steve Jobs will not rest until every aspect of our life is controlled and managed by Apple. All I have to do is make myself put on my running shoes and it does all the work for me. Except the actual running. But there is a nice lady who lives inside my phone that says, “It’s time to run now!” and “It’s time to walk now!” and “You’re halfway done!” When it’s all over she congratulates me and it means the world to me to have her support.

    Of course you and I both know that I’m going to hate her by next week and will become the crazy lady running down the road, trying not to throw up while yelling, “QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!” into my phone.

    If you’re wondering what any of this has to do with a tofu smoothie, you’re not alone.

    I can’t eat anything before I run in the morning because THE HEAT, MY WORD THE HEAT so I decided I’d wait until I got home and cooled down to make the smoothie. Then I remembered that I was meeting my friend, Jennifer, at Starbucks, and I needed to shower and get dressed instead of experimenting with tofu. I also needed to figure out a way to get my face to quit glowing bright red. I don’t know why it turns so red, but I look like an angry cartoon character for at least an hour after I run.

    Anyway, after Starbucks I ran in Hobby Lobby because I need some kind of fall centerpiece for my dining room table (I didn’t find anything. I don’t know what I’m looking for.) and then I went to Target for reasons I can’t recall but it ended with me buying a pair of camo leggings and a great long-sleeve t-shirt that I might be able to wear if it ever drops below 104 degrees.

    (I’m sorry for all the pointless details. I could go on and on with the pointless details of my day. In fact, I just did. I stopped for gas. And thought about getting my car washed. And ran the dishwasher twice because the soap didn’t come out of the the dispenser the first time. It’s all fascinating.)

    When I got back to the house around lunchtime, I decided that nothing would be better than a smoothie with tofu in it for lunch. So I began to dump all the ingredients into the blender. Then I opened up the tofu, didn’t realize it was packed in water, and made a huge mess all over the countertops and the floor. And then I thought about how that kind of thing never happens with bacon or pretzel M&Ms.

    But I decided to forgive the tofu and made my smoothie. It was delicious. I’ll be making another one tomorrow. And the next day.

    And maybe the day after that.

    In fact, given my propensity for sucking all the life and joy out of a food by eating it until I can’t stand to even think about it, I’ll probably make one daily for the next three months. And then the smoothie will be dead to me.

    In case you’d like to try one for yourself, you can find the recipe right here.

  • They call it the cheese of Asia

    Well, clearly I need to take a tip from Paul Harvey and tell y’all the rest of the story from yesterday’s post about Lee.

    We invited her to our wedding but she was in very poor health and told me she just wasn’t going to be able to make it. Right after we got married, P’s mom moved into my old apartment at Village Oaks because she had recently sold P’s childhood home and hadn’t found a new house yet. She’d been living with P in our townhome in the days leading up to the wedding and so we just switched places. Little did she know she’d be living in Village Oaks for the next year.

    She also didn’t know that a new neighbor had moved in below me who liked to have very loud fights with his girlfriend, which led to my mother-in-law having to resist the daily temptation to catch this young girl in the courtyard, shake her by the shoulders and say, “MOVE ON, SISTER. HE’S BAD NEWS.”

    Anyway, Lee adopted my mother-in-law as her new best friend and they talked daily until Lee’s health became too bad for her to live alone and she moved out of town to be closer to her daughter and ultimately passed away.

    And that’s the rest of the story.

    With a few more details than you probably really care about thrown in for no extra charge.

    In other news, look what I bought at the store yesterday.

    It’s like I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror.

    What happened to that sweet girl who craved nothing more than Fritos and bean dip not even two weeks ago?

    I’ll tell you what happened. She realized she is a mere eleven months away from her 40th birthday and maybe it’s time to think about health and fitness.

    At least for the next few weeks.

    Apparently you can put tofu in a smoothie and it tastes good and adds in protein to get you through the day. I’ll let you know tomorrow if any of that is actually true.

    I have fifty dollars that says it’s not going to be as tasty as bacon and eggs with a side of blueberry pancakes.

    _______________________________________________________

    Post 4 for the Kellogg’s $100 gift card giveaway is posted over on my giveaway page. Click on over for the chance to win $100.

  • Snakes not on the plane

    I always say that the posts I write on Sunday nights are the hardest ones to write. Of course now I’m wondering what I mean when I say I always say that because no one really asks me that question since, odds are good, nobody really cares. So I guess it’s just something I tell myself. And P has to listen to it because he has the misfortune of sitting next to me on the couch while I lament about my inability to come up with anything interesting to say. He usually says something helpful like, “When has that ever stopped you?”.

    He’s hilarious.

    So I went to Virginia this weekend. Originally I thought I’d never been to Virginia before, but then I remembered that I took a class trip to Washington D.C. when I was in eighth grade and we went to Arlington National Cemetery. I also think we may have visited Mount Vernon, although I’m not totally sure since my motivation to go on the trip leaned more towards the social benefits, as opposed to any type of yearning for historic knowledge. However, I do have vivid memories of seeing Fonzie’s leather jacket and Archie Bunker’s chair in the Smithsonian, so it’s not like I didn’t have any grasp of important moments in U.S. history.

    Anyway, I left on Friday morning and arrived in Richmond about 3:00, headed to the coliseum, passed out approximately 15,043 copies of Homelife magazine at the LifeWay booth, wished I’d worn my hair back in a ponytail because I was so hot, listened to Beth teach an amazing lesson from John 1, went back to the Marriott, realized I’d forgotten my sound machine, panicked, remembered I had a white noise app on my phone, tried unsuccessfully to sleep for the next six hours, got out of bed, went back to the coliseum, drove my rental car back to the airport, ate a terrible cheeseburger, bought the new InStyle magazine, and got on the hottest plane I’ve ever been on to fly back to San Antonio.

    It was a lot of stuff to cram into an twenty-four hour time period and I was exhausted.

    P and Caroline picked me up from the airport. They’d spent the day at the ranch and were full of stories involving blood and gore and snakes. We stopped at California Pizza Kitchen to pick up dinner (I’m not sure why you need to know this. We ordered the Sicilian! And the Pepperoni Mushroom!) and as soon as we got home I rolled my suitcase into our bathroom to unpack and change clothes because I suffer from some sort of sickness that compels me to unpack my suitcase the minute I walk through the door. But when I walked in my closet, this is what I saw. Actually, I didn’t see it as much as I just stepped on it because I wasn’t paying attention.

    In case you can’t tell, that’s a huge snakeskin.

    Clearly my family wants me dead.

    To say that I screamed and began to hyperventilate and had a complete out of body experience seems like a bit of an understatement. I ran back into the kitchen in time to see my sweet, precious baby girl doubled over and laughing hysterically. It was all her idea. Honestly, I don’t know that I ever seen her more proud of herself.

    Which is great.

    Except for the fact that I may have to burn down my closet.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition the rest will have to wait until next week

    So I had these grand ambitions to cover at least five of the trends for fall today. But then I remembered that I have to leave my house at 7:00 a.m. and I might want to pack a suitcase some time between now and then. It doesn’t help that it’s also just been one of those days.

    However, I managed to muster the strength to talk about three of the fall trends. I’ll also tell you that Gulley and I went shopping yesterday and both agreed that we felt like we were looking into our closets circa 1991. We even saw a sales girl wearing a lace dress with a denim vest over it. I owned that outfit once upon a time.

    I don’t tell you that with pride.

    1. Boots

    If you’re only going to buy one new thing this fall, I’m going to suggest that it be a pair of boots. And, let me tell you, there are boots galore to choose from.

    There are over-the-knee boots

    And lace-up boots

    And more lace-up boots

    There is the lace-up bootie that makes me feel a little nostalgic for those Esprit boots I used to wear during my junior year of high school with the built-in wool sock things sticking out of the top.

    There is ankle bootie. They frighten me a little because I’m not sure what to do with them.

    (When I just proofread this I realized I should have written, “there is the ankle bootie”. But it made me laugh that I wrote there is ankle bootie, so I’m leaving it. Watch out for ankle bootie. You don’t want ankle bootie.)

    (I’m sorry. I’m very tired and a little punchy.)

    And there are boots with spats. I’m a little obsessed with these.

    Lastly, there are riding boots. I am such a fan of the riding boot. It’s a classic that will withstand the test of time and fashion whims.

    2. Lace

    Gulley and I were in Nordstrom yesterday and I saw a lace bodysuit. It was very similar to this Back to Lace-ics Onesie except it had long sleeves. I pointed it out to Gulley and laughed and said, “Remember when you used to have one almost exactly like that in college?”

    And she replied, “That wasn’t mine. It was yours.”

    Oh how the mighty have fallen.

    Anyway, as it turns out I should have saved it. I could sell it on ebay or something for tens of dollars because the lace is everywhere right now.

    Dahlia tunic

    Discovered lace dress

    Lace is for Lovers top

    My only advice is to remind you that nothing feels worse than cheap lace against your skin. Except for maybe freshly shaved legs at the beach. Or alcohol on a paper cut. Or biting into a water chestnut.

    3. Military Influences

    The military jackets are everywhere. There are dressy ones and utility ones. They even have them in camo.

    Rag & Bone Cotton Safari jacket

    Maybe I’ve been married to P for too long, but I actually really like that jacket. Of course I could probably find the same one for $30 at Cabelas. Along with a cheaper version of these Prada camo riding boots. Too bad they don’t have the leather snake detail like P’s.

    But if the thought of camo frightens you, there are other ways to incorporate this trend into your wardrobe.

    Sanctuary Military jacket

    skinny cargo pants (I haven’t actually tried these. I’m not sure why any woman over the age of six would want to add bulk to her legs with pockets and have them taper to a skinny little point at the bottom. It seems like it might make your legs look like they defy the laws of physics. And taste.)

    We the Free Majorette jacket

    Do you see how I got too tired to actually upload pictures here at the end? I totally would except I really don’t want to right now. I have to go to bed.

    And catch a flight.

    And try to forget that I was the proud owner of a lace bodysuit.

    Y’all have a great Friday.