Year: 2010

  • It would have, like, been a total blast

    On Thursday afternoon I drove to Austin for my dad’s retirement party. He’s worked for the same company since 1972. To put it in perspective, I was one year old when he started. And now I am significantly older than that.

    I’m not sure what I was expecting since I’ve never been to a retirement party before, but it far exceeded my expectations. My dad has always been my hero and to hear a room full of people talk about his integrity and character and what he has meant to them was an incredible experience. An experience that about sent me straight into the ugly cry. Seeing him honored that way will go down as one of the best nights of my life because he deserved every minute of it.

    We drove back to San Antonio on Friday morning and I was supposed to fly out to Nashville later that afternoon for my friend Travis’s 40th birthday party. His sweet wife had been planning a surprise birthday celebration complete with an 80’s theme for months, but the real surprise ended up being almost a foot of snow in Nashville which meant there was no way I could make the party unless I flew into somewhere south of Nashville and procured a team of speedy sled dogs to take me the rest of the way. And don’t think I didn’t consider it.

    Instead of being at a fun 80’s themed birthday party with several of my friends, I spent Friday night sitting on my couch, catching up on DVRed television, and eating a Frito pie made with Hormel chili out of a can. So it was pretty similar to how I spent many Friday nights in the 1980’s except there was no DVR back then so I would have been waiting for Friday Night Videos in the hopes they’d show some awesome Wham! videos and I could wonder if George Michael might fall in love with a fourteen year old girl from Beaumont, Texas. (Bless my heart, it was a naive time. I thought being fourteen was my biggest obstacle to long-lasting love with George Michael.)

    And I was usually home because I was grounded for breaking curfew the previous Friday night. Now I’m just home because I’m lame and also old enough to be Lady GaGa’s much older sister.

    (I know that because I looked her up on Wikipedia while watching the Grammys last night. She was born in 1986. NINETEEN HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SIX. Otherwise known as my sophomore year of high school.)

    Anyway, I was so disappointed because it’s a major letdown to think you’re going to spend time with some of your favorite people, only to find yourself at home alone with can of Hormel chili and an 80’s outfit that took weeks and several trips to Forever 21 to put together.

    Look at what I now own. Again.

    But wait. There’s more.

    And these gems that I found on the sale rack at Forever 21 for $4.99.

    It was a final sale so I guess I’ll have to save them for the next PTO meeting.

    They’ll look great with my new blue eye makeup and hot pink lipstick.

    I even bought a can of Freeze It! to ensure that I could attain maximum hair volume before I pulled it all back with a banana clip.

    Don’t ask me how I thought I was going to get it on the plane in my carry-on bag. I guess I figured I could sweet talk security and maybe tell them that Frankie says RELAX.

    The most shameful purchase of all was a Miley Cyrus brand dress that I purchased at Walmart last week. If you’d asked me a week ago for a list of things I would never do, that list would have read:

    1. Will never eat dark meat from a chicken again. Ever.
    2. Will never marry George Michael. (Guilty feet have got no rhythm)
    3. Will never purchase any sort of Miley Cyrus clothing for myself.

    But, yet, here is the Miley Cyrus dress.

    In my defense, I bought it solely for the skirt. And it was on sale for $10.00.

    Which now seems like $10.00 too much.

    Ultimately, here is what the entire outfit would have looked like had Nashville not had the biggest snowstorm in the history of me knowing anyone who lives in Nashville.

    By the way, I already owned the denim vest. There are some items of clothing that are too sacred to be thrown out even if they haven’t seen the outside of your closet in seventeen years. (Okay, fifteen years. It was hard for me to give up on the vest. As evidenced by the fact that I still own it.)

    So happy birthday, Travis. I hope you got some new dentures and a gift certificate for your 4:00 p.m. dinners at Captain D’s. And maybe a nice cardigan to ward off the chill.

    As for me, I had a lovely Friday night at home thinking about all the fun I was missing with sweet friends.

    And I also have a daughter who has discovered the banana clip and the beauty of a flipped up collar.

    Which kind of worried me until I remembered what Frankie says.

  • Fashion Friday: Edition cute stuff I’ve seen

    To be completely honest I feel like I’m a little bit out of the clothes shopping loop because most of my free time has been spent staring into space or looking for fabric and accessories for the living room. Obviously I’ve been very busy.

    Earlier this week I had to venture into Target for something that seemed important at the time, but clearly wasn’t because I can’t even recall why I was there. It may have had something to do with getting a new coffee maker for P because the one he had was stainless steel and he hated it. I know he hated it because I had to listen to a lecture every morning on the ills of a stainless steel coffee pot and all the ways it was RUINING the taste of his delicious Ted Nugent coffee.

    Needless to say, I can’t just run in Target without taking a spin around the entire store because what if they have a really cute linen lampshade? Or some type of topiary thing for my mantle? Or some stylish Mossimo goods in stock? Now that I am forced to shop at the overshopped Target located an additional three stoplights from my house, I have to jump on those items quick or they will be gone. Says the girl who is still bitter about the boots that might have been.

    Target did have a few cute things but I feel I need to give the disclaimer that I didn’t try anything on so I can’t vouch for fit or quality. I also thought I’d share a few other things I’ve liked this week. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ll like them next week because I am a fickle creature prone to change my mind at a moment’s notice.

    1. Merona pleated top

    This top is a little pricey for Target, but they are trying to justify it by labeling it as part of the Merona COLLECTION. Which is clearly superior to the plain old Merona.

    The sad thing is that price doesn’t include the hidden cost of all the mornings I’ll need to do the 30 Day Shred to get my arms back in the shape they need to be for me to wear a sleeveless top and not frighten small children.

    2. Turquoise waikiki necklace

    When I was in Houston last weekend, I met a girl named Heather and she was darling. In fact, I’m sad that I didn’t ask her about how she had her hair pulled back and this really cool lucite necklace she was wearing. But fashion hindsight is always 20/20 and often cruel.

    Anyway, the point is that I really wanted to link to a necklace like the one she had on, but I couldn’t find anything similar. HOWEVER, I found this really great turquoise necklace which has nothing to do with anything I just discussed.

    3. Tie front top

    I enjoy a simple top paired with jeans and I’d love this in black. It would be perfect with the aforementioned lucite necklace that I can’t find.

    4. Hailey twistneck dress

    This was another Target find and it looks better in person. The yellow isn’t quite as blinding, but more of a festive, cheery yellow. A yellow that says hello spring and summer.

    Of course it may look terrible on, but let’s pretend that it won’t.

    5. Gold whipstitch sandals

    Listen. I am about three pedicures away from being able to wear any sort of open toe shoe right now so I’m not even sure why I’m talking about sandals. I just thought these were fun.

    Plus, now that I took the time to hem the pants of my seersucker suit, I could wear these sandals with it for a casual look. Even though I’m not sure that a summer consisting of going to the pool every day and complaining about the heat will require a seersucker suit.

    6. Embroidered top

    Love.

    However, see #1 for disclaimer about arms.

    7. Big Buddha Soho bag

    I realize this is a fall/winter bag due to the suede, but I stumbled across it and adore it for its bohemian chicness. (And, yes, I’d prefer that you pronounce that “chickness” as you read)

    8. Striped scarf

    Remember last week when I linked to that striped scarf and sweater combo at Boden? And I said that I needed to find the budget version?

    Well, I still haven’t found the sweater but I was killing time in Old Navy last Friday and spied the gray striped scarf. I’m halfway there.

    9. Breakfast pajamas

    Pajamas with eggs, bacon and toast on them make me happy. I appreciate some whimsy in my sleepwear.

    10. Distressed boyfriend jeans

    I never pulled the trigger on these last fall because…oh I don’t know why. I wasn’t sure I was ready to embrace the boyfriend jean. I was conflicted about my feelings for it and confused by all the footwear options and didn’t understand if it meant I’d have to tuck my shirts in. It was a dark time.

    But I’m ready. I’m ready to make the boyfriend jean part of my wardrobe and I think this darker wash is part of the reason why. Or maybe it’s because I really want to buy a pair of Converse tennis shoes to wear with them.

    That’s all I’ve got for today because I need to pack and get ready to head to Austin for my dad’s retirement party. Of course, by the time you read this, the party will have already happened but as of this moment my hair still needs to be washed.

    Y’all have a great Friday.

  • I think I make Steve Jobs sad

    Sometime last week my Macbook kept flashing a little warning on my screen to inform me that my startup disk was almost full and files would have to be deleted. I didn’t even know I had a startup disk, much less that it was almost full.

    I’d gotten that same warning about six months ago and took care of the problem by deleting a bunch of old pictures and maybe some important software that shouldn’t have been deleted. (More on that later) But this time I decided that I didn’t want to go through the hassle of burning a bunch of pictures to CD’s and it might be a better idea to buy a flash drive and put everything on it.

    (Because it’s not enough that I have hard copies of all my pictures and that they’re all uploaded to Shutterfly, I need to have everything in triplicate because I am neurotic and what if Shutterfly ceases to exist and I lose all the albums I’ve created since Caroline was a baby?)

    I bought a flash drive but wasn’t really sure about memory and full startup disks and gigabytes and whether or not the jeans I was wearing made my bottom look big. So I did what I do in most tech emergencies, I called my friend AJ who just happens to be in town this week.

    God bless her for not hanging up on me every time I start a conversation with “I was wondering if you could help me with…”

    I explained my full startup disk dilemma and told her about my flash drive purchase. She responded by asking me how many gigabytes it would hold and I replied that I had no idea but the flash drive cost me $29.99 at Office Max so I assumed it could hold about $30.00 worth of memory. Which makes total sense because dollars are real whereas gigabytes are just something that people made up about five or twenty years ago.

    And then I mentioned that I liked the flash drive I selected because it is the prettiest shade of purple even though I’m not normally a fan of purple. At that point, AJ suggested that I probably wouldn’t want to share the details of our conversation with too many people (so I’m writing about it on the internet) because people might mock me for not understanding gigabytes.

    But to those people I say that I don’t think their pocket protectors really work with the shirt they have on.

    Fortunately, AJ volunteered to come over last night and help me figure out the issue with my startup disk and why it overfloweth. She also explained a concept to me that involves an external hard drive and suggested I might want to invest in one that holds between 500 and 1,000 gigs. Which kind of makes my four gigs seem a little pitiful even though they came in a festive purple color.

    She also explained that all the movies I’ve saved in iMovie take up a lot of space and I should get them off the computer, but I told her I didn’t know what to do with them and asked if there was some way I could automatically burn them on a DVD that would play in my DVD player. AND THERE IS. I have been surrounded by this technology ALL THIS TIME and had no idea. I totally should have read the manual that came with my computer.

    We began looking through all my movies so I could figure out what I wanted to keep and what needed to be deleted forever because it may have involve Caroline videotaping my rear end while I paint the backhouse.

    While I looked through the iMovie files, I came upon a few video clips I’d totally forgotten about. They were videos of Caroline when she was just two years old. And I realize this is the equivalent of asking someone to please look at the slides from your vacation to Niagara Falls (the scenery is AMAZING!), but I had to share it.

    Little Caroline from Big Mama on Vimeo.

    OH MY HEART.

    I would’ve totally dissolved into a big pile of sloppy tears and sentiment right at that moment, but AJ had moved on and informed me that I needed to get my Mac mail account up and running because Entourage is going to be non-existent in about a year.

    The only problem is I deleted my Mac mail software the last time I tried to free up space because my startup disk was full. AJ didn’t even know it was possible to delete Mac mail off your Macbook, so I guess she learned something technical from me for a change.

    Granted, it’s not something anyone really wants to know and definitely isn’t something you’re supposed to do, but I’m claiming it as an accomplishment anyway. I’ll take my tech victories where I can get them.

    Although they won’t be sent through Mac mail.

  • Because I overanalyze everything

    Remember last week when I mentioned that I’d been suffering from a touch of the insomnia? At least I think it was last week. It’s hard to remember because all the days with insufficient REM sleep tend to run together.

    Well, the very next day, my friend Annie wrote a post about a new app she’d downloaded to her iPhone called Sleep Cycle.

    Before I go on with this train of thought I feel like I need to add that, thanks to Annie and her video on folding sheets, I have learned how to properly fold a fitted sheet for the first time in my life. I’ve been doing it the wrong way (assuming the wrong way is to roll them up in a ball and cram them into the linen closet) for thirty-eight years.

    (Yes, I have been folding sheets since birth. My parents were hardcore about chores. I also had to fill my own bottles with formula and wash my cloth diapers.)

    Anyway, I immediately downloaded the Sleep Cycle app after I read Annie’s post because:

    1. I’m a sucker for any kind of app.

    2. I felt like I needed Apple to confirm that, YES, I am not sleeping at night because all the concealer I use to cover the dark circles under my eyes isn’t confirmation enough.

    The thing is that I’ve always been a night person. My perfect schedule would be to go to bed around 2:00 a.m. and sleep until around 10.

    Oh, who am I kidding? I’d sleep until noon.

    Unfortunately, polite society discriminates against the night owl all in the name of being “productive” and “not sleeping your life away” and “getting your child to school on time”, so I’m forced to conform to the rest of the world.

    Anyway, the point is that I downloaded the Sleep Cycle app and, sure enough, the next morning I went to check the little chart that shows my sleep pattern (or lack thereof) and all it said was DANG, I FEEL BAD FOR YOU.

    So the next morning I went to Walgreens and perused the sleep aid aisle. I know I can sleep if I take a Tylenol PM (otherwise known as just a Benadryl with a fancy name) but it makes me feel a little groggy and edgy the next morning, like I might throw the toaster oven through the kitchen window if only I could muster the energy.

    I needed something a little more natural and side-effect free so I finally settled on a supplement that contains melatonin, some natural herbs, and a lock of Rip Van Winkle’s hair. Here’s hoping it works because last night I was watching Chuck (I’m sad for you if you haven’t seen it. Hilarious.) and there was a scene where Chuck has this super secret spy pen that had some sort of tranquilizer in it. I swear when he used it to knock out the bad guy, I was actually a little envious and wished I could get someone to knock me out with a tranquilizer so I could sleep for one or nine days.

    Too bad there’s not an app for that.

  • I ate a grit and other fascinating information

    Before I even get started on any sort of weekend recap, I feel I owe Brett Favre an apology. I could not be more sorry that I decided to be a Vikings fan yesterday. I am almost certain it sealed their defeat because it is a non-scientific fact that any team I cheer for is destined to lose.

    (I originally typed “any time I cheer for” which kind of makes me laugh because “HOORAY FOR THREE O’ CLOCK!”)

    In fact, if you ever hear me say “Oh! I’ll be cheering for your team!” or your favorite chess player or mathlete or whatever, please feel free to ask me to politely refrain. My allegiance is the sporting kiss of death. The only exception are the Olympic Games. The United States usually fairs pretty well in spite of my loyalty and devotion, but most likely this is only because everyone else in the U.S. is routing for them as well and it balances out my allegiance.

    The point is it’s probably all my fault that Brett Favre will have to play again next season if he wants to go out on a Super Bowl note.

    So earlier this weekend, before the whole Vikings debacle, I took a little road trip to Houston to attend a Beth Moore event. I had the best time making some new friends and spending time with some old ones. Not that anyone I hung out with was old, I just mean I knew them before this weekend. Amanda and I had the privilege of introducing our friend Marla to the wonder that is the Freebirds burrito and I threw caution and shame to the wind and ordered the Monster size.

    And it’s none of your business if I actually ate the whole thing.

    I didn’t.

    But I totally could have if not for a fear that I wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed the next morning.

    Then on Saturday I ate some shrimp and cheese grits that may have changed my life. To be perfectly honest I’d never had grits before and I’d totally meant to have Sophie cook some cheese grits for me when we were in Memphis last fall because rumor has it that she makes some of the best cheese grits you’ll ever eat. However, we ended up being way too busy eating multitudes of barbecue sandwiches and ran out of time for the cheese grits.

    Anyway, I felt confident that I would love cheese grits, especially when the menu description indicated they’d have bacon, mushrooms, and scallions in them. They did not disappoint. In fact, I think I need to quit thinking about them because it’s bordering on unhealthy obsession.

    (This post is riveting. Stay tuned for tomorrow when I’ll discuss what I ate yesterday! What is wrong with me?)

    I headed back to San Antonio after lunch on Saturday (Did I mention that I ate cheese grits?) and wasn’t looking forward to the long drive down I-10. It really is the stretch of road that scenery forgot. Thankfully, I fell in behind a gold Maxima that might have been driving slightly over the speed limit and I followed it for much of the trip until it had the misfortune of cresting a hill in Schulenberg, Texas and being the first line of sight for a state trooper’s radar. I genuinely felt bad as I passed my gold Maxima buddy getting a ticket and immediately regretted whispering “See you later, sucker” under my breath.

    I was about an hour outside of town when Gulley called me and told me that her youngest son, Will, had fever and she was taking him to the emergency clinic to get him checked out. Normally this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but it was her oldest son, Jackson’s eighth birthday and she was supposed to take seven boys to a hockey game and then back to her house for a sleepover.

    She called me a little bit later to report that Will had bronchitis. The doctor gave him some medicine and said he wasn’t contagious so the sleepover could go on as scheduled. I told her that Caroline and I would love to come stay with Will while she and her husband took the older boys to the hockey game because who would want to miss a hockey game with seven boisterous boys? I mean besides me?

    Caroline and I got to her house right before it was time for them to leave for the game. Will was a little excited over his encounter with ill health combined with the fact he’d lost his first tooth earlier that day. Which, by the way, annoyed Caroline to no end because she still hasn’t lost a tooth and is convinced she will be the first person in the history of dentistry and the world to have all her baby teeth forever.

    Anyway, as soon as Gulley walked out the door with her crew, Will turned to Caroline and yelled, “WHOO HOO! NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE PARTY TO BEGIN!”

    Fortunately for me, their version of partying was to spread out a blanket in the playroom so they could have a picnic and eat their Papa John’s pizza.

    Let’s just hope it stays that way.

  • Fashion Friday: edition it feels like spring

    When I got in my car to pick Caroline up from school yesterday the thermometer in my car said 80 degrees. EIGHTY DEGREES.

    Welcome to South Texas, where one week it’s fourteen degrees and the next it’s eighty. It’s no wonder I can’t sleep at night.

    To make matters worse, I made a trip to the mall and stopped in Forever 21 because it’s usually good for some cheap, trendy jewelry or some sort of little top, but you know what I saw instead?

    Acid-washed skinny jeans.

    Dear Forever 21, you ain’t right.

    (I just tried to go to their website to pull a picture of the acid-washed jeans and their site is down. Honestly, it’s just as well because if you lived through the 80’s there is a strong chance that the sight of acid-wash might fry your retinas.)

    Anyway, all the stores are filled with spring clothes and between that and the eighty degree temps, my fancy has turned to spring.

    Here are a few cute things I’ve seen:

    1. Coral v-neck and stripy scarf

    At some point during Christmas vacation, Sophie and I were talking about movies. She’d watched The Proposal the night before and said I had to watch it and to make sure that I made note of Sandra Bullock’s outfit when she has on some navy cropped pants with an orange-ish sweater with a gray striped scarf. I believe her exact words were “IT WAS A REVELATION!”

    And it was.

    The orange-ish color was beautiful and the gray striped scarf was so unexpected, yet pulled it all together. It was, indeed, a revelation. Which is why I was so excited when I saw a very similar look in Boden’s spring catalog.

    By the way, Sandra Bullock’s hair in the movie has also inspired me to let my bangs grow out. AGAIN. You know that means it’s only a matter of time before I fret endlessly about whether or not to cut my bangs or let them continue to grow. But for now, I’m over them. OVER.

    2. Plaid a plenty blouse

    I love this because it’s the perfect piece for spring, but would easily transition into summer with some white jeans.

    3. Lush rosette top

    I’m a fan of anything that is basically a soft t-shirt but takes it up just a notch. It’s the perfect thing to throw on with jeans and flip-flops.

    4. Belted trench coat

    If there is one thing I really don’t need it’s another trench-style coat. Yet I am powerless to resist their appeal.

    The sad thing is it’s only January and already too hot for me to wear this. But, STILL, look at all the cute.

    5. Printed jessica top

    I like the whole bohemian thing this top has going on.

    6. Balletomane tank

    I have no idea what “balletomane” means. My theory is it’s Anthropologie speak for overpriced top with some tulle on it.

    But, once again, they reeled me in.

    7. Strapless smocked dress

    I’m at the point where I’ve reached my personal expiration date for actually wearing this as a dress. It’s okay. I’ve accepted it.

    But I’m thinking it would be a darling swimsuit coverup.

    8. Starburst statement necklace

    I’m in love. I’m in love with the floral statement necklace and I don’t care who knows it. And Deloris Petunia has some of the best ones I’ve seen.

    I mean, how cute is this one made out of felt? I’m happy just knowing this kind of bright and happy exists.

    I realize I’ve only listed eight items, but it’s all due to my GO TO BED AT A REASONABLE HOUR initiative.

    Several of you have emailed me to ask if I know about Polyvore. The answer is yes I do and I plan to start using it some for Fashion Friday.

    However, it takes a while for an old dog to learn a new trick. Wait. Am I the dog in this scenario?

    Don’t answer.

    Oh,and for some more fashion you can head to Musings of Housewife and see what Jo-Lynne has today.

    Y’all have a great Friday.

    2GBNPN22CBTT